Re: double standards in our society
There are always things in your culture that have been there for centuries. You like it or not, they are there. I think more than 'protection' for girls, the parents are worried about 'log kya kahain gey'. This might be a genuine concern given our integrated social fabric.
We get a thread cribbing about it atleast once a month I guess.
How many of you see the double standard in our society in how we raise sons and daughters? I see people raise daughters very differently with alot of strictness and a different set of rules than boys. For example when a daughter goes out of the house for anything (shopping, or hanging out with her friends) parents expect her to return home early whereas for boys they don't even ask them too many questions about who they are going out with or for what purpose. In my family my brothers get the exact same treatment and set of rules but I see so many of my friends having no freedom at all but their brothers are always out doing whatever they want. How do you guys see this situation?
I think most (if not all) see it. Either it's there in your own family or for someone you know. From my experience, there are a few reasons parents are more strict (in some aspects) with the girls. Either it's for their protection (physical), their reputation, or just in how much they trust them (and they are many times proven to be right with their suspicions). In general maybe the boys are usually given more freedom in these matters but only until they mess up. If they do get caught doing something, then they also have to deal with stricter rules.
There are always things in your culture that have been there for centuries. You like it or not, they are there. I think more than 'protection' for girls, the parents are worried about 'log kya kahain gey'. This might be a genuine concern given our integrated social fabric.
We get a thread cribbing about it atleast once a month I guess.
with all due respect, it's easy for guys like you, monk, and cricket playa to dismiss this as an invalid concern...simply because it doesn't really affect you.
From being CM, to his sister, to his mother, what next ?!
Re: double standards in our society
God bless you 2. :D
^ lol Sara. What about the rest of the people in the thread.
There are always things in your culture that have been there for centuries. You like it or not, they are there. I think more than 'protection' for girls, the parents are worried about 'log kya kahain gey'. This might be a genuine concern given our integrated social fabric.
We get a thread cribbing about it atleast once a month I guess.
I agree somewhat. At the same time, I think that parents need to show that certain things are right/wrong for both, despite the genders. Though I do not expect any parent to treat sons and daughters equally, because frankly that is ot possible. There are such vast differences in their needs and wants and when raising them, parents have to be able to pick up on them . At the same time, certain obvious rules should apply to both, ie curfew.
with all due respect, it's easy for guys like you, monk, and cricket playa to dismiss this as an invalid concern...simply because it doesn't really affect you.
I didn't say it is invalid. I just said it is one of the peculiarities of our culture, like hypocrisy and corruption and it has been a part of our culture for centuries.
Just complaining about it won't help much. The girls of 1970s complaining about it in their own time are practicing it now as mothers.
Re: double standards in our society
Sara you are digging my grave here you know that? I have already recieved two abusive pms....
Re: double standards in our society
Monk ?
To clarify, CM and I are not related. we are just acquaintances :p
Re: double standards in our society
CM forward them to mods/admins.
Re: double standards in our society
Women. Why would Monk PM me?
Hell no I am enjoying the attention sara :D
Re: double standards in our society
alright guys...chill.
Re: double standards in our society
Re: double standards in our society
CM, this is all your fault. I am getting false accusations because of you.
Sara, ban CM !
Re: double standards in our society
is this watchu lookin for CM?
Re: double standards in our society
Yes it is. I am enjoying this. :D
What were we discussing again? 
I think the root of the problem is that parents are behaving in a reactionary way to a limited set of problems----most of them having to do with girls and their sexuality.
A lot of problems in the world could be solved if we concentrated instead on making our children part of the solution rather than simply reacting to a problem. And if we stopped denying the full set of problems to begin with.
So the risks/problems are not simply about sex, they’re also about as PCG noted radicalism, substance abuse, lack of overall personal/intellectual development/development of overall bad character, etc. These affect boys just as much if not more than girls.
Being part of the solution as parents isn’t simply about setting rules and restrictions but also about actively teaching values and engaging in your children’s day to day lives. Make learning your family values a positive experience, not simply a discussion about consequences, punishment, what will society say, etc., etc. Make family time to go together to masjid, pray together, have open discussions at home about different issues from an Islamic perspective. Read books together and discuss them. Allow your children some freedom to be part of constructive activities outside the house, like sports, volunteer work, etc. There is a lot out there for us to do as families and with our children----it’s not this binary choice between going out and being wild with no supervision or sitting at home rolling out roti.
Girls should have the same standards as boys, by restricting girls people are just sending the wrong message…no don’t get this confused I think the boys should have the same restrictions as girls NOT the other way around where girls should have less restrictions like the boys totally two different things
This is the way my family works and I am glad. Boys and girls alike are not allowed out of the house after 10:00, boys and girls are not allowed to hang out with their friends without permission, boys and girls are not allowed move out to study(kinda extreme in my opinion, but I understand) We, mashallah, have grown up fine. My brothers, unlike the some other guys, don’t drink, have girlfriends, do drugs, etc…but they still have a life and honestly I think it has made our relationship between siblings a lot better
we are learn how to drive around the same time also…weird as it maybe I know a few girls who don’t know how to drive and they are in their twenties and when their brothers are sixteen they get to learn how to drive…
I never really understood that but I am sure the boys here can help me understand 
Re: double standards in our society
the world is a big bad place for girls to stay out is because of these boys! high time they get locked back in their cupboards!
:ASA:
Re: double standards in our society
It's funny how when i was my brother's age...i couldn't get away with doing half the things hes doing now! And I use to tell my parents that you guys have double standards and its so unfair...blah blah blah!! Now i relize cause i'm more older and mature ;) that they really did have my best interest at heart. If you see a guy at the movies late at night...."ppl" won't draw assumptions as quickly as if they saw a girl going to the movies late at night. And yea its not that they didn't trust me...its the ppl around me they didn't trust! And yea if i have kids...i think i will be just as worried about them as my parents were for me...and i know we all say..."oh when i have kids I won't treat them like my parents use to treat me they were so unfair etc etc"...but you know what people....this day and age...the world is just becoming a scarier place...and its harder to raise children in this society!! So yea that's just my personal opinion...at the end of the day...make sure you know where and what your children are up too...you brought them into this world...their your responsibilty!!