Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ True Milly. Some people aren't cut out to be parents.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Dude chill out, I was taking the micheal!
There is no right and wrong when it comes to parenting, as there is no right or wrong when it comes to how to live ones life and be nice to other people.
People are sharing opinions from what they have experienced, I dont think anyone here is pointing fingers and blame.
Most examples in here are what the minority do.
Children are lovely. Really lovely. Thats why I have devoted my life to them....really, it is!
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
taking the micheal!???
I am not blaming anyone - just pointing out the obvious.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
I'm actually really disturbed by the replies of so many of the parents here (though not all). It's interesting to me that some of you have taken our criticism of bad PARENTING and twisted it into a hatred and dislike of children. That's not only really pathetic as an argumentative strategy, it's actually quite hurtful.
Read through my replies again. It's not about the kids at all. Children, especially young ones, are incredibly malleable. They need love and guidance to train them to be even better human beings. There are going to be bad days. Things are going to break. Things will be stained. Like I said before, who cares about things? I'd rather you put in the extra effort to raise a more well-rounded, social, and responsible child. If in the process, some ceramic knickknack breaks, who cares? It's about teaching kids. And though I always take the time to guide a child I know and love, no one is able to do that better than you -- the parents -- are.
Not only that, you are making excuses for people JUST BECAUSE they are parents. Obviously, so many of you are nothing like the negligent parents some of us have complained about. Despite that, you are being defensive FOR THEM just because they are parents.
Being a parent is probably the most difficult and most important job any of us will have. Despite that, reproducing does not automatically make you infallible. Being busy and overwhelmed does not automatically mean you are right.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Peace Sahar -
I am annoyed at
"I am not a parent myself but heres what I would do...." That's kinds like saying I am not a doctor but here's how I would handle your surgery...."
It would be more appropriate if this thread would be "How or tips to help your kids behave" .. instead of "don't you you just hate it rants...."
I'm actually really disturbed by the replies of so many of the parents here (though not all). It's interesting to me that some of you have taken our criticism of bad PARENTING and twisted it into a hatred and dislike of children. That's not only really pathetic as an argumentative strategy, it's actually quite hurtful.
Read through my replies again. It's not about the kids at all. Children, especially young ones, are incredibly malleable. They need love and guidance to train them to be even better human beings. There are going to be bad days. Things are going to break. Things will be stained. Like I said before, who cares about things? I'd rather you put in the extra effort to raise a more well-rounded, social, and responsible child. If in the process, some ceramic knickknack breaks, who cares? It's about teaching kids. And though I always take the time to guide a child I know and love, no one is able to do that better than you -- the parents -- are.
Not only that, you are making excuses for people JUST BECAUSE they are parents. Obviously, so many of you are nothing like the negligent parents some of us have complained about. Despite that, you are being defensive FOR THEM just because they are parents.
Being a parent is probably the most difficult and most important job any of us will have. Despite that, reproducing does not automatically make you infallible. Being busy and overwhelmed does not automatically mean you are right.
you just said what i was trying to say in my post above, but better. i couldn't agree more!
Peace Sahar -
I am annoyed at
"I am not a parent myself but heres what I would do...." That's kinds like saying I am not a doctor but here's how I would handle your surgery...."
It would be more appropriate if this thread would be "How or tips to help your kids behave" .. instead of "don't you you just hate it rants...."
As far as I know, ranting is not forbidden on this message board. In fact, that's how some of the best discussions are started, with people expressing their frustration and confusion. You clicked on the thread with a title that was clearly a rant. No one forced you to.
And you're right, I'm not a parent. And you can toss my advice, thoughts, and opinions aside, simply because of that fact. However, my thoughts ARE based on observations from family, friends, and many many many students-parent relationships.
I'm not really sure what I've said here that is "wrong." Feel free to point it out to me.
me too...!!!
But Afro-sheen... would u agree with me that childcare has taught ur lil boy a lot more manners? I find it has taught my 2 yr old A LOT! not saying that kids who stay at home dont have manners... my neice is the same age.. and she's Mashallah very good when it comes to manners.. but i personally think its cus she's not a hyperactive kid and spends most of her time with adults..
I definitely agree. But a child is still a child & is inquisitive, not necessarily misbehaved and bathmeez. I guess my point is it is difficult for a child around 2 years to understand the meaning of being behaved/quiet non-stop when visiting somewhere, especially if they don't fully talk etc just yet. In any case, the mother should be aware of what her child is doing, so child does not do any major damage anywhere. And I totally agree with your comment that I do not want to be the mother that is disciplining her child ALL the time.
As far as I know, ranting is not forbidden on this message board. In fact, that's how some of the best discussions are started, with people expressing their frustration and confusion. You clicked on the thread with a title that was clearly a rant. No one forced you to.
And you're right, I'm not a parent. And you can toss my advice, thoughts, and opinions aside, simply because of that fact. However, my thoughts ARE based on observations from family, friends, and many many many students-parent relationships.
I'm not really sure what I've said here that is "wrong." Feel free to point it out to me.
You did said nothing wrong. It would be a boring place I guess if everyone thought the same way...
Sahar, I could snog the hell out of you right now! 
I guess this is why you are teaching high school, and im with the ankle biters!
You and I should procreate. Really we should!
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Narrated `A’ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Bukhari) .... Embarrassed, the father sprang forward. "What have you done, you silly boy" he shouted. His arm shoved forward to grab the child away from the Muhammad (SAW), his red face showing his anger. Fear and confusion showed in the face of the child. Muhammad (SAW) restrained the man, and gently hugged the child to him. "Don’t worry," he told the over-zealous father. "This is not a big issue. My clothes can be washed. But be careful with how you treat the child" he continued. "What can restore his self-esteem after you have dealt with him in public like this?"
I believe all of us can learn a lot from this hadith. The other day, my friend was over my place and her son dropped dessert on the carpet, his mother wanted to clean it but I didn't let her as I find it against the manners to make my guests do any work.
On the same occassion she herself accidently broke a flute and she was so embarrassed and I was trying my best to make her believe that it's nothing to worry about. And I thought even adults can damage things so it is kinda normal for these type of accidents to happen more often with children.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
With due respect,but saying that some people are just not meant to be parents, is so wrong...and hurtful...
just because they have an opinion which does not coincide with that of a parents' doesn't mean that they aren't meant to be parents...
The original topic of the thread was when kids misbehave and parents do nothing...rather than OMG a 2 year old dropped a crumb or touched my candlestick....lets throw them out...!!
Some of us know parents of the sorts where they never bother disciplining a kid for whatever reasons they have....and I am not talking about a 18 month old....because dealing with a 18 month old vs. a 5 year old is different....
If a 18 month old comes over and opens a drawer in my nightstand...very understandable....
But if a 5 year show the same behavior,.I am sorry I wont call it "inquisitive'...I would call it lack of manners...a 5 year old can be very well taught how to respect other's space and place....
maybe I am not meant to be here....so carry on everyone...
just my two cents and no one has to agree with it...:):)
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
i'm not sure why everyone is latching on to age 2 in this discussion- kids can, and probably will be, more misbehaved at 2+ and i'm sure we're referring to older kids more than younger children in this discussion- i know i am!
as for 2 year olds, i know kids that age, and while yes, they have their limits, you can still teach them the basics, and they do get it. they're not stupid- they have comprehension and if you say "no" and they don't listen, they also understand the concept of "time out's". no child is perfectly behaved all the time- we've all acknowledged and understood that here- but that doesn't mean no attempt should be made to calm them down when they do spazz.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
chips - didn’t mean to offend anyone. There are many men and women that have a low tolerance for any distrubtive in their lives - children, elderly included.
I do firmly believe that some people are not meant to parents. (nothing wrong with that).
Great Post hareem! :k:
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
This is a great thread people and everyone's opinion is welcome. Please continue posting as long as there's no personal bashing, which so far hasn't happened.
We all learn with time. I have 2 kids now and I must say I am so much more tolerant towards others children at this point while I continue my struggles to instill the best manners possible in mine.
Sometimes I see young girls with no children of their own be more patient than even me and I guess it all boils down to our own personalities at the end of the day.
You did said nothing wrong. It would be a boring place I guess if everyone thought the same way...
That's true, but where do our opinions differ?
Hareem, nice post. It actually reminded me of something I wanted to say in response to sadzzz's.
I think it IS important not to be constantly scolding your child all the time. I know the original poster was talkingabout "telling off" children, but I think the scolding should only come in extreme situations. Unfortunately, it's those negligent ones that end up lashing out when it's too late to do anything about it. They yell at the child when it's not the child's fault. Because the child doesn't know any better; s/he is rarely given a good understanding of what is appropriate or better behavior.
You can tell kids how to approach a situation correctly while being patient and nurturing. It's not about snapping at them, it's about guiding them.
As for the age thing, of course our expectations for a child should be different depending on the age. But if you're constantly moving things, letting the kid get away with things, etc etc, and then suddenly they turn 3 and you change the rules, that seems very unfair to the child. If you teach the child from the beginning that they can and cannot do certain things, your expectation of how they understand may be different, but your message to them is consistent. And that is very important when you are raising and teaching children.
Like I've said about a million times, the complaint isn't about the kid. The kids respond depending on what we expect of them. You moving things around is sending a message that you expect them to misbehave. It's one thing to move around dangerous objects and sharp things. It's another to pickup every little thing the child will reach for. Let them explore and train them to do it without being destructive. Training is hard work, but it is necessary. I've also said now a million times that it's not the things that matter. If in the process of training children things break, who cares? The point is that you are giving them practice in making good, positive decisions. It's never too early to start that.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Parents who refuse to disciplin their kids are lame. I hate it when they just let their kids ruin the other’s place. Hosts should do the honours of putting those kids right 
That's true, but where do our opinions differ?
Hareem, nice post. It actually reminded me of something I wanted to say in response to sadzzz's.
I think it IS important not to be constantly scolding your child all the time. I know the original poster was talkingabout "telling off" children, but I think the scolding should only come in extreme situations. Unfortunately, it's those negligent ones that end up lashing out when it's too late to do anything about it. They yell at the child when it's not the child's fault. Because the child doesn't know any better; s/he is rarely given a good understanding of what is appropriate or better behavior.
You can tell kids how to approach a situation correctly while being patient and nurturing. It's not about snapping at them, it's about guiding them.
As for the age thing, of course our expectations for a child should be different depending on the age. But if you're constantly moving things, letting the kid get away with things, etc etc, and then suddenly they turn 3 and you change the rules, that seems very unfair to the child. If you teach the child from the beginning that they can and cannot do certain things, your expectation of how they understand may be different, but your message to them is consistent. And that is very important when you are raising and teaching children.
Like I've said about a million times, the complaint isn't about the kid. The kids respond depending on what we expect of them. You moving things around is sending a message that you expect them to misbehave. It's one thing to move around dangerous objects and sharp things. It's another to pickup every little thing the child will reach for. Let them explore and train them to do it without being destructive. Training is hard work, but it is necessary. I've also said now a million times that it's not the things that matter. If in the process of training children things break, who cares? The point is that you are giving them practice in making good, positive decisions. It's never too early to start that.
I agree with all of your posts in this thread and what you said above is the right approach to correct our children but I think when it comes to someone else's children then we should ignore their mistakes because its curtious and we can avoid offending the parents.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
I agree Sahar.. :)
I dont scold my child often enough, only cus i know thats not the way to teach her anything. The hubz on the other hand sometimes does scold her and it only makes her want to do the thing more or ... cry
I find the best way to actually stop a child at this age (2) is distract them with somethign else... older than 2, its time for setting rules and yes scolding if they dont listen.
And i apologise if i went off on a tangent... Parents are definately to blame when their child is acting up. Its not the child's fault at all... to a certrain degree.
I have huge issues with a few people who i know who dont tell off their kids. I have an even bigger issues with those who bad mouth other kids and let their kid do exactly the same thing when they are at someone else's house.
Are manners just for ur own home?? I dont understand people..
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
there’s a big discussion going on in Weddings right now about parents ignoring their badly behaved children at weddings- as a bride, i remember being very stressed about it because my cousins aren’t well behaved generally and i couldn’t stop thinking about the things they might do at my wedding.
in the end, i paid up for two babysitters and it certainly was one of the best decisions i made for myself, the kids, and their parents.
a lot of people felt like my aunts and uncles should have paid for the sitters considering they are the ones not doing any parenting, but really, thats not the kind of thing you can bring up in family without causing further hungama, so i let it go.
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/317704-how-children-ruin-your-wedding-day.html