Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
And when I go to someone's house(someone who doesn't have kids or old) I just don't sit and just keep chasing the kids because I know some people are eccentric.
haha I was at a dinner party where a mother went upstairs to put her son on the toilet and came back downstairs. Minutes later we hear him calling for his mother, he was sitting on the carpetted stairs - no pants/undies sliding down the stairs, pointing to his bum saying "mommy there's something stuck in there" !!! HAHHAHAHA..... now the ladies house we were at is OCD in cleanliness so u can imagine her look and what she was going thru ! Mothers... please stay in the washroom with your kids until they know when they're done !!!
SEE !!thats what i am talking about:)
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
I'm really surprised by some of the comments here made by parents. It is not alright to "pick your battles" when you are at someone else's home. Some of these kids sound like little beasties who are not fit for polite company. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure that your child is not destroying someone else's personal property. If they vomit, clean it up. If they poo, clean it up. If they are running around screaming like a banshee, put them in time out. I have four, and believe me it was not always easy, but I did not tolerate my kids behaving that way in public. In the car on the way, I explained what I expected, and was never above taking them to the bathroom for a little "chat" when they were too badtameez.
I think that the problem here is that too many mothers are too busy sipping their chai to pay any attention to what the kids are doing. The kids at most desi parties disappear to the basement or upstairs, and are busy dismantling the house while mom is eating and gossiping.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
I know exactly what you mean! They are called kids but there is an extent of just being kids. Then it just gets downright rude. Once I went round to my Khala’s house and her youngest daughter was like ‘shut up mum! stop it!’ when her mother told her to go and play outside. And my Khala just laughed it off. The thing is I thought perhaps my Khala would probably tell her off when nobody is there, but she still does it! You need to start teaching your children discipline and manners about hwo to speak to elders and the basics of it.
Children these days :no: But they’re still as cute as heck 
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Kids are kids and as someone said accidents can and will happen...
Its a 15 month old versus a 4 year old for example...A 15 mth old will be curious,will like to touch and feel everything in a new place but shouldn't a 4 year old be able to understand a 'no' when told to...??
I don't have kids of my own and no I am not a monster who will eat up a child who will ever come to my place and not follow my rules and regulations...
kids need to be taught stuff...discipline,how to behave when visiting other peoples' according to their age....
I have seen well behaved and disciplined kids too...and they are indeed a pleasure to have over... and they understand a simple stare from the parent or a verbal warning when told to behave themselves...
whats bothersome is one when some kid is being rude or noisy or misbehaving or hitting punching other kids around and the parents are doing nothing...!!...as if its the norm for them...
i know this family with 4 young kids and another one with 1 boy...the one with 4 kids once said that when her kids were babies and at an inquisitive age she instead of removing everything from her house that they will touch and break ,just tried to teach them 'NO' ...the things stay ,you wont touch it...vs. the other lady who made everyone pick up the stuff before they got there...same aged kids,different behaviors because of different ways of parenting....
and I guess this was what the thread was actually about...:)...parents not doing anything when the kid is misbehaving....
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Even the best of kids have off days. Give parents a break and lend a hand.
My point is that kids are unpredictable and expecting a child of less than 2 years to sit quietly and not be inquistive in a new environment is pointless.
I see way too many women just pointing things that are wrong. "Your child said this" - "Your child did that" - take care of the situation and stop making the woman feel bad.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
ummm
be glad ur kids dont do this
Even the best of kids have off days. Give parents a break and lend a hand.
My point is that kids are unpredictable and expecting a child of less than 2 years to sit quietly and not be inquistive in a new environment is pointless.
I see way too many women just pointing things that are wrong. "Your child said this" - "Your child did that" - take care of the situation and stop making the woman feel bad.
There's a difference between being inquisitive and being destructive. It is a parent's job to teach that to the child. I always talk to the child, and not the parent, but it's out of care for the child that I do so. It's not doing them any favors not to teach them boundaries and appropriate behaviors.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ agreed
I think that the problem here is that too many mothers are too busy sipping their chai to pay any attention to what the kids are doing. The kids at most desi parties disappear to the basement or upstairs, and are busy dismantling the house while mom is eating and gossiping.
WOW
NO ONE is suggesting you "pick your battles" at someone else's house.I really don't think anyone's post up there encourages "destroying others' properties".
If they poop , clean it up , if they vomit clean it up??!!
LOL , but of course! Only someone extremely stupid and/or ignorant would let a child run about acting completely crazy.
But honestly, i really have never seen some one like that.
but I have been extra-sensitive to kids before having mine , and have also seen others do the same.
My child is very well-behaved , I usually get it as a compliment.m'A. But like njgal said , even the best of kids have off days.We have a strict time-out policy at my place , and he knows when we are serious.
I can remember two instances ..he once had a huge tantrum at the mall , when we said he could not go on the rides.I took him to the car till he calmed down, and once when we were at my cousin's , when we had to go for a 'bathroom visit'.
He's barely 3 , but he gets it.
I remember that instance , because now when i look back , it was very soon after my second child was born, and in hind-sight that was the main reason he was acting up.
There is always something going on if a child is acting up ...
But other people need to have more tolerance too.
There were a few who would give me a sympathetic and encouraging smile while passing by , while a few would pass by raising their eye-brows and turning up their nose.
The rest of you , please carry on.This thread had me nearly laughing and rolling my eyes ( but there's only so much you can roll your eyes till you start giving yourself a head-ache heh), so i will say one more thing:
There is a huge difference between how we imagine we will be as parents and how we actually are.
Writer Fey Weldon said it best "the great advantage of not having children is you can hold on to the idea of what a great person you are"
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
I understand the need for discipline & talking to kids and telling them their boundaries, right/wrong. But do you really thing a child 2 & under will understand everything you tell them, especially if they barely talk at that age. Really. I think kids are going to be kids. However if you are visiting someone & your child is acting up/misbehaving it IS the parent's job to stop their child from misbehavior. I have several people that come over with small kids, and while I know kids are mischievous, the mom's can at least TRY to keep an eye on them. Once this about 4 yr old broke this very precious candle gift set that I really loved. The child was running thru the halls n crashing into walls, the mom just ignored it. When I finally said sumthing, she is like whatever. I ended up cleaning all this shattered glass while trying to keep the kid away from the glass at the same time. The lady still didnt even bother protecting the kid from getting glass in her feet. That's when it annoys me. Parents should at least try to keep an eye on what their child is doing.
And for anyone who has the perfect remedy/style to have kids under 2 be perfectly behaved, please enlighten me.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ that's terrible when the mom did not even offer to clean up the glass pieces
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
i agree with most things that people have said (and im a parent so I know)
If we're at someone's house we're there are a lot of things, instead of moving things out of reach, im just on high-alert that my kid doesnt touch anything. I know her, and i know she's very inquisitive... but i also know, that ever since she has started childcare, her mannerism has changed heaps..
she doesnt touch things
we have photoframes everywhere in the house, we have a coffee table.. we havent ever moved things out of her reach unless we know she's going to do something silly and hurt herself. Things stay put.. and she knows what she can and cant touch
BUT... when it comes to kids eating and crumbs... come on... even adults can make a mess. If you're eating cookies, it'll make a mess.. be prepared for it... be proactive. Plonk them on a table or sofa and give them a plate or bowl so the crumbs fall into it.
In regards to moving people around cus the kid wnats to sit in a certain place.. yes. Thats a bit of an issue... i used to get annoyed at a kid for doing that, and i promised myself i wouldnt let that happen. But, my kid does it when she's at home.. or when she's at my mums. She has a sofa where she plonks herself to her milk.. and it REALLY irritates me that my hubby will ask someone to move. But having said that, we dont just ask ANYONE to move.. if its someone whose our age.. someone who will undrestand, we will. If it's an uncle or aunty.. than we'll distract her and get her to do somethign else..
really people. its a very hard job being a parent..
I dont like parents who dont do anything... but i dont want to be a parent whose going to be scolding her child for EVERYTHING.
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And for anyone who has the perfect remedy/style to have kids under 2 be perfectly behaved, please enlighten me.
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me too...!!!
But Afro-sheen... would u agree with me that childcare has taught ur lil boy a lot more manners? I find it has taught my 2 yr old A LOT! not saying that kids who stay at home dont have manners... my neice is the same age.. and she's Mashallah very good when it comes to manners.. but i personally think its cus she's not a hyperactive kid and spends most of her time with adults..
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ Daycare definately puts more structure in a kids life and they teach things like cleaning up, washing hands, eating on dinner table.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ Yeah. And i think thats why my daughter is very predantic about where and how she eats. She needs a chair and a table.. a fork/spoon and a bowl. Its difficult for her otherwise
In regards to crumbs again (sorry, but this is beyond me), people need to get over it.
Yes, if a parent hands a child a cake on someones new sofa without a plate or anything.. thats bad parenting, but if a parent does take all precautions and there are still crumbs... then really, it aint the end of the world.
All this stuff used to irritate me a fair bit.. moreso my hubby but i told him we should loosen up cus once we have our daughter and she even drops a single crumb, people are gonna be giving us the "i told u so" look..
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
see, i dont think this is so much about the little details like crumbs or touching things, as it is about parents who don't react when their child is acting out completely, because they dismiss it as "play" or "children being children". that excuse can't be used to cover all sorts of bad behaviour, guys- there's a limit to it.
it sounds like all the parents who've spoken up here do react and are raising lovely children and you are welcome to come over to ours with them anytime haha :p
but the rest of us who aren't parents DO know parents who just sit there and don't bother, and while as a parent y'all might be inclined to defend them, in some cases, you just can't. nor can you say that kids just act up sometimes and its because they're having a bad day. thats where the frustration comes in.
it is not our job to design our personal spaces around visiting kids, nor is it our job to discipline a child throwing a tantrum or running around screaming like a banshee while you sit on your behind and discuss fashion. i KNOW parents like that in my family. my parents, of all people, after having raised 3 children and babysat for at least 20 others, dread having said parents and children over. this is what happens: they range in age from 3 to 7. they physically run around the quite small 2-bedroom apartment chasing each other, screaming at the top of their lungs. they run into the kitchen where my mom is trying to organize dinner while their mom's just stand there, regardless of mom trying to maneuver hot dishes to and from the stove/oven, they remove books from shelves and tear pages out, the run into the bathroom, turn on the tap, and play with the water creating a huge mess everywhere, they drop things like dinky's on glass table tops. inevitably, a fight breaks out and someone gets hurt and they scream. that is the point when the parents take a break from conversation with my parents and go investigate. so my question is: wtf. that's not normal. its not a pleasant visit. it stresses EVERYONE out. i understand your children are banshees and you're having a hard time with them, but maybe its your fault for not teaching them normal human behaviour!
and its not just one visit- this happens at e*very single visit*. i'm not saying the parents aren't nice or loving, they absolutely are, but they SUCK at managing their children. if my parents had a huge yard they would have no issues with the kids going wild back there- but a two bedroom apartment is not suited to their antics and their parents need to work on getting them to behave in different situations. can you honestly say that isn't a fair request to make?
I understand the need for discipline & talking to kids and telling them their boundaries, right/wrong. But do you really thing a child 2 & under will understand everything you tell them, especially if they barely talk at that age. Really. I think kids are going to be kids. However if you are visiting someone & your child is acting up/misbehaving it IS the parent's job to stop their child from misbehavior. I have several people that come over with small kids, and while I know kids are mischievous, the mom's can at least TRY to keep an eye on them. Once this about 4 yr old broke this very precious candle gift set that I really loved. The child was running thru the halls n crashing into walls, the mom just ignored it. When I finally said sumthing, she is like whatever. I ended up cleaning all this shattered glass while trying to keep the kid away from the glass at the same time. The lady still didnt even bother protecting the kid from getting glass in her feet. That's when it annoys me. Parents should at least try to keep an eye on what their child is doing.
And for anyone who has the perfect remedy/style to have kids under 2 be perfectly behaved, please enlighten me.
I totally agree with you here.
I can understand if a 3-4 years old kid is misbehaving and their parents don’t say anything but with a child under 2 its hard for me to imagine how to discipline them that strictly…
My 15 month old is very inquisitive and active Mashallah and I usually don’t go to someone house who I know while act differently but while I am visiting my close family I do move things out of his reach. So should I be blamed for moving things around in people’s houses? If I am moving something out of his reach then:
1) Its not that hard to put It back, I keep in mind to put it back before leaving
2) Its not that I don’t want him to touch it but things like glass decorations are a hazard to child. Of he breaks it, I don’t want the owner to get hurt because they can mean so much to someone and I don’t want my son to get hurt with the glass pieces and all… so what’s the harm in moving them?
This is like saying oh I don’t baby proof my house I don’t cover outlets because I can discipline him to not touch them that’s not true… I know all he needs is 5 seconds to do something…. And I cannot be watching him ALL the TIME, I try to when I am at some one’s place but it’s just not possible!!!
And yes I moved my coffee table from my living room and someone here responded that they have not moved anything from their house rather they had a laid back approach where they made children part of that environment and didn’t move their own things around for them…
I disagree with that! we can only make so much a part of their environment, children need space to play, walk, crawl at that age…my son ended up in emergency room after he was trying to get on the table and slipped and hit his jaw to the edge. Any parent who has taken a child that young to emergency would understand what it is like! And I personally do not want to repeat that episode.
On another note: I was on a flight to Pakistan and had bassinet seat when my son was 10 months old and lady next to me gave me this look that why r u even here with a baby! She refused to move when I politely requested to a seat at the same position in a different row… and when my son threw up during flight and she got some drops of it on her shirt she was mumbling curses…
She refused to let me walk to restroom by passing in front of her and I had to pass 3 seats on my other side with passengers to get to rest room every time I had to change his diaper. Now if you hate children that much then why would you have a seat on bassinet row? And refuse to move when requested?
-Sanna
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
^ carpdiem - people have low torelance for anything that isn’t perfect anymore. They don’t like kids crying, running around, they don’t like old people because they move too slow.
You cannot avoid the world - I am glad you didn’t move in the airplane. Some people do expect that you should DRUG your children so they don’t disturb them while flying in an airplane. 
There are people if you MOVE their decoration pieces get urked and roll their eyes. I have been to many children unfriendly houses - and I don’t take my kids the next time.
Re: dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naught
Another reason why not to have children; other people will not like them! :D