Otherwise in Europe it has happened too. Mainly in the Royal families, as somebody mentioned.
It resulted different genetical diseases, like the hemophilia.
I think this kind of things mean that the family is more important than its members.
It is not a muslim thing, it was similar in Europe too, when the people lived in a rural society where they depended very much in their local community and families.
I dont want to say that it is so bad, but I dont think every tradition can be justified because it is a tradition and some older people insist on it.
I am married to a cousin. We had never met until the proposal came. There wasn't any awkward feeling or anything of that sort. I am very happy Alhamdolillah, and couldn't have asked for a better partner.
However, I am not in favour of cousin-marriages for the sole reason of family politics. Complications can develope with constant interference of family which could sour your relationship with your husband...other than that, all is good.
which Alhamdolillah i am .. and i dunt find anything wrong with it let alone weird ..
Had there been something wrong like as they say .. genetics and what not ...which i dunt personally believe cos its all science proven .. and science can be wrong ..and therefore we wud have been refrained from this .. by Allah SWT or the Holy Messenger SAW .. cos He SAW was sent as a guide ..and guides dunt guide u wrong .. otherwise they wud nt be guides .. so what ever the Holy messenger Allowed in terms of Shariah and Islamic reasons .. there isnt anything wrong with it ..
However, I am not in favour of cousin-marriages for the sole reason of family politics. Complications can develope with constant interference of family which could sour your relationship with your husband...other than that, all is good.
I agree and this is what often happens. Often "things of the past" arise and can ruin ure relationship with the inlaws also.
I donot have anything against cousin marriage as it is acceptable in every possible way, however when this curve ball got thrown my way i declined immediately cuz no way will i ever marry any of my cousin sisters, its not that i grew up wid them or anything as i always lived away from pakistan, born and broughtup in dubai and now residing in CANADA lekin phir bhi the thought of being in an intimate relationship with cousin wierds me out and thus the refusal, that did spark many issues in the family as well as rumours about my character but i thank god as if i would have gone ahead with it and somin would have gone wrong you have even worse things to deal with, in short i dont want to change the rishta with my maamu as well as my phuppo whos daughters were the prospects respectively.
My parents are cousins, i have these other cousins who are married to each other as well...but i find it a bit awkward because i believe whats the point of staying in same family and live with someone who you know since childhood...the maza of shaadi is to marry someone you probably don't know well enough and explore each other and grow together from there onwards plus cousin shaadis can be a masl for the whole family if the two of them don't want to live togther later on the family keeps on pressurising them and all...so yeah for me its a no no to cousin marriages.
sister Notorious I pray to God Allah SWT give you patience and guide you in the right path and give you a happy life. I was married to a cousin and it didn't worked out, but that doesnt mean I should start thinking its wrong to marry a cousin. (it was a total mismatch and less arranged more forced) We wasn't brought up together even and hardly knew each as well. I can also understand people who thinks it as awkward mostly due to the fact maybe because they brought up in western culture and hear their western .
friends and colleagues on daily basis....oh how can you marry you sister or brother. BPut if you think seriously and act on Prophet PBUH advice we all are muslim brothers and sisters in Islam.
As a muslim I would refrain to comment negatively and calling it wrong anything which is not been considered wrong by our beloved Prophet PBUH. If our creator made it Halal then who are we to decide what is right and wrong?
I am from a village in Pakistan which has 40 houses, mostly our close family. Most of marriages are between cousins and I don't see no one disable or with diseases. None of my family member Alhamdulillah is disable. So I am not sure about Scientifical proofs, how true they are.
And now talking about mix marriages. I am married to a Spanish muslim and you got to see my beautiful kids. I am already been told in jokes by neighbours and family girls that they want to wait for my Son's to grow old and get married with them. I have 3 Son Alhamdullilah.
Personally speaking i do find Cousins marriages awkard but i dont have to worry about it since there is no cousin in my family of near my age (whom my parents can even think of getting me married to)They are either toooo young or toooo old lol :D :AID: :AID: :AID: Lucky me :D
sister Notorious I pray to God Allah SWT give you patience and guide you in the right path and give you a happy life. I was married to a cousin and it didn't worked out, but that doesnt mean I should start thinking its wrong to marry a cousin. (it was a total mismatch and less arranged more forced) We wasn't brought up together even and hardly knew each as well. I can also understand people who thinks it as awkward mostly due to the fact maybe because they brought up in western culture and hear their western .
friends and colleagues on daily basis....oh how can you marry you sister or brother. BPut if you think seriously and act on Prophet PBUH advice we all are muslim brothers and sisters in Islam.
As a muslim I would refrain to comment negatively and calling it wrong anything which is not been considered wrong by our beloved Prophet PBUH. If our creator made it Halal then who are we to decide what is right and wrong?
I am from a village in Pakistan which has 40 houses, mostly our close family. Most of marriages are between cousins and I don't see no one disable or with diseases. None of my family member Alhamdulillah is disable. So I am not sure about Scientifical proofs, how true they are.
And now talking about mix marriages. I am married to a Spanish muslim and you got to see my beautiful kids. I am already been told in jokes by neighbours and family girls that they want to wait for my Son's to grow old and get married with them. I have 3 Son Alhamdullilah.
Not being an expert.................However the downside of cousins marrying is when the marraige breaks up it causes big rift in the whole extended Family..........:(
Brother starts hating Brother or Sister which ever the case may be!
No need to apologize. Everyone makes mistakes. :halo:
We all know the pros and cons when it comes to cousin marriages - it comes with being a Pakistani. All of us are very very familiar with cousin-marriages and have heard about a variety of stories with very diverse endings. Some people are sooo happy and content and others not-so-much.
What you have said about cousin marriages makes it sound like it’s coming from a person who has no idea what they’re talking about. It sounds like something a gora would say to me if I were to tell him/her I’m marrying a cousin.
The point I was trying to make was to tell you that it’s not all negative and we know that very very well. To come along and say all those extreme-scenarios/situations about cousin marriages isn’t fair. It’s one thing if you’ve had a bad experience, it’s another entirely if you just want to scare and oppose people from cousin marriages.
Anyway, to conclude I just want to say that people should look outside the family first. Cousins should be last resort but nothing wrong with cousin-marriages regardless.
You know, I'm finally coming to terms with what happened in my life. I used to think about it sometimes as incest. Now I stopped doing that. I don't see my marriage as incest anymore, I stopped seeing him finally as a brother. I'm just telling myself that a cousin is a cousin and not a brother. Now it really is working and I don't see it as incest anymore or as awkward anymore.
I was thinking today about the better things in my family instead of focusing on the negative things and I realise that some of the marriages in my family of our family members marrying our other family members did turn out ok, some of them are actually happy. I think the difference is that some of them weren't forced, but wanted the marriage. But what I'm still against is forced marriages. If it's someone in the family, or someone outside the family doesn't matter, what matters is if the bride and groom both want to marry each other.
There is nothing wrong in marrying your cousin if the marriage is done with your consent but excesive inbreeding does cause major medical, genetic issues is any species (humans, animals and even plants)
As I am an American gori it should come as no surprise that I'm not a big fan of the cousin marriage thing. I will not permit my children to marry within the family and I will make sure they understand this as they are growing up. My Pakistani fiance is in total agreement, although there are some cousin marriages in his family.
And for those who will bring up the halal/haram aspect, I will not tell my kids that it is 'haram', just that in our family it is something we are not in favor of. Same as those guppans who don't want their kids marrying outside their culture----setting your family 'policy' is different than teaching that something halal is haram.
Personally.. I'd feel very uncomfortable when it comes to cousin marriage.. I would never marry my cousin.. I really have respect for people who are married to their cousins.. I have nothing against cousin marriage.. It's just something I wouldnt do..
I know some pakistani girls over here in Holland who went to Pakistan and married their cousin.. And when they came back, their gorey friends started asking "How you guys meet and stuff.. How did he propose.. "
These girls started making things up.. as in "we met at the mall and he asked my number and that's where it started.. We started dating.. Long distance relationship.. etc etc.."
I could never do that.. But this isnt the reason why I wouldnt do it.. I just dont feel comfortable with the idea of marrying my cousin.. cousins who I've alwayz seen as brother and friend.. I want to leave it like that.. I know Im not able to switch my mind and heart from cousin/bhai mode into husband mode..
I know this girl who married her cousin.. His name was Ali.. and everyone called him Ali bhai.. She got married to him.. and after marriage she still called him Ali bhai a few times by mistake..:CareBear: It took her a while cut off the bhai part..