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ditzy because she said before the marriage that she will go thats why
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can't all you experienced women tell her some trick by which she can go back on her own word and then blame the guy instead?? Whats the use of all that experience you ladies got here?? Bcoz the OP came here for tips on how to do that.....so please help ur fellow guppan !
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Oh yeah, does he know about dengue fever and congo virus in Pakistan these days? I don't think it's a go idea to trvel before they control these viruses.
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poor pakistan, virus wasn’t enough… now…this… :hinna:
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Contact pir syed sahab Nadz. He can change mind of your husband or yours. It is your choice. I have heard some good things about himG4p[/video] from his ads on tv. Here it is
P.S. Just kidding around. If you agreed to it then you have to go. I would be angry and break stuff at home if I was him. He seems to be very patient man.
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okk, so we aint talking anwyay, hes now gone to sleep, no talks. grrrrrr. i think people here are forgetting he was RUDE to me, saying mein sarr pe chargai houn, and his tone was not nice. all i said was why cant we wait 2 3 weeks and go in april.....
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Dealing with his rudeness or whatever is just a little quibble. In obsessing over that you are avoiding the actual issue. You need to deal with it at one point or another. Delaying is just making it harder. Is there something happening in that 2-3 weeks?
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Wow, some of the responses. The main problem is that you have a fear/and are uncomfortable for the whole idea. You need to figure out exactly why you feel this way and talk to him about everything. You can't force him to stay, and he can't force you to go so might as well talk and make a decision on which both of you agree.
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Harty Har Har…you’re sooo funny. 
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Man what future is there in Pak? Really where is the country heading?
Even if you are rich there , you are still living with the constant stress, pressure etc..the crime, surrounded by horrible poverty, filthy cities, while others eat themselves to death..how could one live in a place like that? Burning tires, kids being threatened to get kidnapped, bribes to gangsters. If you have money there you are a target, no doubt.
For vacation sure, to live? Are you kidding me?
Yeah in the West it sucks in terms of having to start from scratch, but Pakistan can never ever match those opportunities, and if you work hard here and become successful you will be much better of than you could ever be in Pakistan.
I mean in the West at least you're in a peaceful country, clean, nice surroundings etc..
I mean, I know doctors here who come drive cabs(while writing their USMLE) , but are still happy doing that rather than living in Pakistan.
Whatever, I don't mean to pretend like I know the specifics of your life, I don't know you or your circumstances, I was just speaking from a very general overall perspective.
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i dont know why he hasnt divorced u yet. hats off to his patience
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nadz stop being such a kid and making a big deal out of things. it’s amazing in the time he’s been with you, he’s only spoken out once that entire time and even that’s mighty disrespectful. what else would you expect from a man who’s had his patience tried a million and bajilion times. leave the pallu of your parents, and move back. stop delaying things for no reason. you’ve admitted yourself that it’s a better life for him, your child and yourself if he moves back. if you don’t do something that was precontractual, ie agreed upon before the wedding, then be prepared to hear more things from your husband, which are more insultive than what you think is “rude” right now.
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Peace nadz123
If you want my advice go as soon as possible BUT on the condition that he has a private house for you sorted. If you aren't used to living with in-laws then no matter how well you try to adjust at this stage it will be difficult. If he can't get the house sorted in time, then go on the condition that he works to get it sorted within 6 months of getting there. Also, you need to be able to see your parents without causing too much disruption to your domestic economics once every 12-18 months should be about reasonable, without compromising your lifestyle. You will need to consider things like Air Conditioner and UPS as well.
There is plenty of evidence Islamically that supports separate living, however give him space to be dutiful to his parents as well. Remember if you go on the basis to improve your home and this is struggle for you then for sure it is like a hijrah and you will be like a mujahidah. So be pleased in those thoughts and go.
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Nadz, my first thought upon reading your post was 'oh no! Her poor mother-in-law!' :P
If/when you do end up going, for the love of all that is good and sane please please don't take your frustration out on the people around you. So make peace with the decision before you get there; your attitude will play a huge role in how you fare out there.
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The OP is as fake as they come, she does'nt half talk a load of BS.
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Thanks…but you didn’t see this ?(the below quoted post of hers)
After all the people telling her to go, and that she is acting unreasonably she is still trying people to validate her behaviour by pointing out the ‘rudeness’…well to me that shows that i was correct in what i perceived…may be it came off differently, basically she is trying to figure out how to put it all on him:rolleyes:
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okay so ive kind of said this time and again here, bascially my husband wants to go back to pak. and this was spoken about before the marriage, i agreed yada yada. now the time is closer i just dont want to go. he did try to be nice and patient and almost convinced me il be ok. for some reason im trying to delay it by saying lets go april, hes been saying march all along. and he wont understand why im saying april, i guess im just buying time.** i really just dont want to go**. in top of that im saying i have docs appointment for baby who will be nearly 6months by then inshallah, and hes like so what we can have those appointments in pak,....im actually lieing there are no appointments, its just me, im trying to buy time. he now got angry and told me mein sarr pei chargai houn, and was just being rude. he has no reason to go in march just that he wants to...he said he wanted to go back this august, as we had agrred, but i was due to give brth in sep, so we stayed, he wanted to go in january, but then he extended to march.....i dnt understadn the big rush....i hate him right now.my anger levels from before marraige have returned, and my tears...our first fight for a very long time.feels like the bad old days again where we would argue almost weekly.
Lekin aap kion Jana nahi chahtin?
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You guys are so mean to the OP.
Anyway, you can't get hung up on the fact that he was mean to you. It happens in a relationship, its natural. You have to move on and focus on moving to Pakistan. If he's been nice to you so far he is probably going to help you adjust in Pakistan and if things don't work out you guys can always come back.
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Agree with jazzyJazz.. why people are so mean to OP when she is simply asking for your advice not taunts and BS.