That sounds scary to me. I don’t know how you survived a year with someone treating you like that but I would be scared for my life. And my kids life. Not only is that scary but its degrading. And calling your infant daughter bad names? Is he mental?
Sometimes people don’t mention physical abuse because that immediately leads to people saying, get a divorce. Maybe that’s why she didn’t mention it. And sometimes you just block out forms of abuse because it’s too scary or painful to think about it. So you act like it’s not a big deal, and it was only “one time”, or “so long ago”
I think that is not the reason why one should or should not post. Not considerng a post/thread legit and saying it is not legit still is staying on topic, dont you think? I have a right to answer above post of Sara.
There are no inconsistencies in her story though…its just a matter of reading her posts correctly.
I think you have select reading skills…you read what you want to read and nothing else. You need to work on this habit of yours, its just not healthy.
Jo bhi hai, you need to go back and re-read her posts because what she has presented seems easy enough for us to map out in our heads so why can’t you do it? Asal masla kya hai?
Again, its not a self-praising statement. Its just a statement detailing what the situation was with no self-praising adjectives. Where do you see tareefein? How many fingers am I holding up right now?
diwana…apko aurten itni buri lagti hein to aap shaadi na karo. Kisi achi larki ka dimagh kharab karogay.
Like I said before, statements like yours just make me even more determined to raise my kids better…much much better. Inshallah.
You behave in a manner which shows your lack of respect for women. I doubt you have many friends of the opposite sex.
You have no position to dispute at all…as in none. She is the OP, she gets to state her story and you get to read and respond in a manner which might prove helpful. You are NOT here to judge whether the OP is lying or not…that is not your place.
Its HER life and HER story.
There was no self praise Why do you make things up as you go along?
Its that selective reading thing again…parna nahin ata to ESL phir se le lein…doosron ko kyun tang karte hein?
Your posts are sporadic and almost wild in nature…very disturbing behavior if you ask me.
. I don’t know how long you will be able to put up with this abuse but I am sure that sooner or later (if his abuse continues) you will leave him. I wish I had something to tell you to make you feel better but just do whatever is best for you and your baby girl you both don’t deserve to be treated like this. Don’t raise your daughter in an environment where she would never be able to see her mother getting due respect and where she herself will be an equal victim of abuse. Believe me all this will cause deep damage to her mental development and she will never know what respect is. Above all don’t let anyone hurt you like this you are also very important !
All posters who are saying that by studying and making career she will be able to gain respect in her husband’s eyes are so very wrong. He will NOT change and he will always abuse his wife and daughter because this is what he has probably seen all his life and woh kabhi nahi sudhray ga.
okay so he hasnt been physically abusive but he has resorted to verbal abuse …
i say no to any kind of abuse…specially when there’s a child involved that is not only a witness but ur hubby seems to have started abusing her too…it seems like he has little to no respect for women in general…
i feel like here are your options:
stay with him and be miserable for the rest of your life because you will have to take his abuse he’ll never change
take a break from him for a bit see if he comes to take you back…go back and observe him to see if he has changed
involve an imaam or something and see if they can knock some sense into your hubby
walk out on him and temporarily mourn ur broken marriage…but this will be temporary mourning as u will have freed urself and ur child from abuse
even if u can in some convoluted way justify the abuse instigated against you… how can you watch when that abuse starts to touch your child?
agree…abusers very very very rarely change if at all and no amount of studying or making a career or earning money will make him respect women or her more and treat her right…if he had the potential to treat her right he wouldnt have treated her badly in the first place.
it never ends this cycle of abuse and you have to make the choice whether ur gonna stay and take it and let ur child take it and be affected by it too…or whether you’re going to respect yourself more and walk away because you know you deserve better than this… i would choose a life as a single mother rather than a marriage in which i have to die every day and watch helplessly as my child suffers too
Allah sab ko behtarreen married life de…male and female
^^ but if all else fails …don’t forget khawateen and diamond321’s words of wisdom …once an abuser, always an abuser…and u put a foot down especially when it starts touching ur child
your child needs to grow up ..knowing that a woman deserves to be respected and that when she’s not …she doesnt behave like a doormat but instead chooses to stand up for herself like her mother did
Abuse doesn’t always have to be physical.. you’ve been subjected to abuse of several forms. Gather-up your dignity and walk-away, if not for yourself for the sake of your daughter.. Abusive people seldom change and there’s no use ‘waiting’ to see if things will change etc. He needs to respect you as a human first, a wife and a mother too. Staying quiet about it will do nothing, confiding in a friend may make you feel better however, it won’t help the situation you are in. He needs help and while you find him help, enroll the MIL as well.
Oh my God . I am so appalled.
He is a mental case and it is not minor incident either, none of what you have mentioned in posts are minor incidents. He needs professional help or you need to get away from this guy till he is tamed otherwise I see more of this happening. Unless outside intervention in the form of confronting him by some authority figure is used or he takes anger management classes and gets psychological evaluation , psychiatric treatment or marriage counseling he is not going to change. If he could have changed , that little angel of a child should have put some mercy for her and her mother in his heart .
I am sorry to say that I do not see any hope for now unless any one or all of the above measures are taken in his case.
Why do you make things up as you go along?