Re: don't know what to do...
He took his shoe off to hit you in the head.
That sounds scary to me. I don't know how you survived a year with someone treating you like that but I would be scared for my life. And my kids life. Not only is that scary but its degrading. And calling your infant daughter bad names? Is he mental?
I'm sorry but he sounds so eww
Re: don't know what to do...
Cut off his wee wee and teach him a lesson
Re: don't know what to do...
Sometimes people don't mention physical abuse because that immediately leads to people saying, get a divorce. Maybe that's why she didn't mention it. And sometimes you just block out forms of abuse because it's too scary or painful to think about it. So you act like it's not a big deal, and it was only "one time", or "so long ago"
Re: don't know what to do...
Sometimes people don't mention physical abuse because that immediately leads to people saying, get a divorce. Maybe that's why she didn't mention it. And sometimes you just block out forms of abuse because it's too scary or painful to think about it. So you act like it's not a big deal, and it was only "one time", or "so long ago"
Thank you for stating it so clearly... it just goes over most ppls' heads.
Re: don't know what to do...
Sometimes people don't mention physical abuse because that immediately leads to people saying, get a divorce. Maybe that's why she didn't mention it. And sometimes you just block out forms of abuse because it's too scary or painful to think about it. So you act like it's not a big deal, and it was only "one time", or "so long ago"
Will comment later.
Re: don't know what to do...
[mod]If you don't think the post is legit, don't post in the thread.
Stay on topic. [/mod]
Re: don't know what to do...
[mod]If you don't think the post is legit, don't post in the thread.
Stay on topic. [/mod]
I think that is not the reason why one should or should not post. Not considerng a post/thread legit and saying it is not legit still is staying on topic, dont you think? I have a right to answer above post of Sara.
Re: don’t know what to do…
There are no inconsistencies in her story though…its just a matter of reading her posts correctly.
I think you have select reading skills…you read what you want to read and nothing else. You need to work on this habit of yours, its just not healthy.
Jo bhi hai, you need to go back and re-read her posts because what she has presented seems easy enough for us to map out in our heads so why can’t you do it? Asal masla kya hai?
Again, its not a self-praising statement. Its just a statement detailing what the situation was with no self-praising adjectives. Where do you see tareefein? How many fingers am I holding up right now?
diwana…apko aurten itni buri lagti hein to aap shaadi na karo. Kisi achi larki ka dimagh kharab karogay.
Like I said before, statements like yours just make me even more determined to raise my kids better…much much better. Inshallah.
Re: don't know what to do...
There are no inconsistencies in her story though...its just a matter of reading her posts correctly.
I think you have select reading skills...you read what you want to read and nothing else. You need to work on this habit of yours, its just not healthy.
Jo bhi hai, you need to go back and re-read her posts because what she has presented seems easy enough for us to map out in our heads so why can't you do it? Asal masla kya hai?
Again, its not a self-praising statement. Its just a statement detailing what the situation was with no self-praising adjectives. Where do you see tareefein? How many fingers am I holding up right now?
diwana...apko aurten itni buri lagti hein to aap shaadi na karo. Kisi achi larki ka dimagh kharab karogay.
Like I said before, statements like yours just make me even more determined to raise my kids better...much much better. Inshallah.
I do not think anywhere I said which yo can make out that I do not like Aurtain. Prove your position and I am right here.
I have a position to dispute OP. What is there in you to argue that she is right?
Show me any proof she is right and I am not?
Re: don't know what to do...
Exactly where are the inconsistencies? Does someone have to write their entire life story and timeline of where they were, before being taken seriously?
People move from different countries, is that unheard of in your world?
I went back and read post #15 and I still don't see why you're mocking her. Many women whose spouses live in Pakistan, spend time with him before his visa is issued, and they have children. It's not impossible so I don't know what your point is, by saying she was trying to "show herself as a goodie goodie wife."
My question to you--most people here are good at sniffing out trolls. You--on the other hand--like to look for false inconsistencies and call everyone a troll. Why is that? Is it to deflect attention from yourself?
The inconsisency is in post # 15.
OP knew he could not come because of visa. But still says she was alone with her daughter and waited for him. Self praisng attitude. Very obvious.
Re: don't know what to do...
Again...get over it. you're just out to vilify OP, I'm not the only one who sees it. Peace.
Re: don't know what to do...
Again...get over it. you're just out to vilify OP, I'm not the only one who sees it. Peace.
I presented my reasons. No one can deny. Peace 2U2.
Re: don’t know what to do…
You behave in a manner which shows your lack of respect for women. I doubt you have many friends of the opposite sex.
You have no position to dispute at all…as in none. She is the OP, she gets to state her story and you get to read and respond in a manner which might prove helpful. You are NOT here to judge whether the OP is lying or not…that is not your place.
Its HER life and HER story.
There was no self praise 
Why do you make things up as you go along?
Its that selective reading thing again…parna nahin ata to ESL phir se le lein…doosron ko kyun tang karte hein?
Your posts are sporadic and almost wild in nature…very disturbing behavior if you ask me.
Re: don’t know what to do…
So when you make an assumption I supposedly have no friend of opposite sex that is not making an out of context comment and personal attack?
How about if I say with your man hatred views you have …nevermind.
My posts may be wild in your opinion but perfectly in line of rules. I can refute any OP. As anyone does and can.
You just cannot handle the opposite views, use personal attack and yet a moderator. :no:
Re: don’t know what to do…
totally agree :k:
. I don’t know how long you will be able to put up with this abuse but I am sure that sooner or later (if his abuse continues) you will leave him. I wish I had something to tell you to make you feel better but just do whatever is best for you and your baby girl you both don’t deserve to be treated like this. Don’t raise your daughter in an environment where she would never be able to see her mother getting due respect and where she herself will be an equal victim of abuse. Believe me all this will cause deep damage to her mental development and she will never know what respect is. Above all don’t let anyone hurt you like this you are also very important !
All posters who are saying that by studying and making career she will be able to gain respect in her husband’s eyes are so very wrong. He will NOT change and he will always abuse his wife and daughter because this is what he has probably seen all his life and woh kabhi nahi sudhray ga.
Re: don't know what to do...
[quote="llxxll, post:2, topic:245653"]
[quote="rainbow1987, post:1151, topic:243962"]
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
has he hit you since then?
[/QUOTE]
no
[/QUOTE]
okay so he hasnt been physically abusive but he has resorted to verbal abuse ...
i say no to any kind of abuse...specially when there's a child involved that is not only a witness but ur hubby seems to have started abusing her too...it seems like he has little to no respect for women in general...
i feel like here are your options:
1) stay with him and be miserable for the rest of your life because you will have to take his abuse he'll never change
2) take a break from him for a bit see if he comes to take you back...go back and observe him to see if he has changed
3) involve an imaam or something and see if they can knock some sense into your hubby
4) walk out on him and temporarily mourn ur broken marriage...but this will be temporary mourning as u will have freed urself and ur child from abuse
even if u can in some convoluted way justify the abuse instigated against you... how can you watch when that abuse starts to touch your child?
Re: don’t know what to do…
agree…abusers very very very rarely change if at all and no amount of studying or making a career or earning money will make him respect women or her more and treat her right…if he had the potential to treat her right he wouldnt have treated her badly in the first place.
it never ends this cycle of abuse and you have to make the choice whether ur gonna stay and take it and let ur child take it and be affected by it too…or whether you’re going to respect yourself more and walk away because you know you deserve better than this… i would choose a life as a single mother rather than a marriage in which i have to die every day and watch helplessly as my child suffers too
Allah sab ko behtarreen married life de…male and female
Re: don't know what to do...
I know a family where same thing was going on . I even opened thread about it. He and she both respect me so I intervened and confronted him on her behalf , he was nice to accept that he has angers issues and will behave. I did not hear anything after my intervention. You need to find someone who knows you , your family ,and him and who he and his family also respects and that person should be willing to confront him on your behalf. In my case he and his family could not afford to cut any ties with me that is why they listened to me and changed their behavior with her. I pray to Allah that things improve with you and your home becomes a peaceful home. Ameen.
^^this should probably be your first step
This thread, dumdedees...and then the other one of murder in NJ of a mother of 2.... All cases of domestic abuse. U women need to sit up and start respecting ureselves and ure kids so much that no man treat u as inferior pair ki joothis. Up and walk away! Before its too late. Im sorry but playing smart and clever isnt needed when things go as far as gaaliya and verbal abuse of a 1 yr old! Its time for ultimatums....and some hard decisons.... For the betterment of all.
^^ but if all else fails ...don't forget khawateen and diamond321's words of wisdom ...once an abuser, always an abuser...and u put a foot down especially when it starts touching ur child
your child needs to grow up ..knowing that a woman deserves to be respected and that when she's not ...she doesnt behave like a doormat but instead chooses to stand up for herself like her mother did
Re: don't know what to do...
Abuse doesn't always have to be physical.. you've been subjected to abuse of several forms. Gather-up your dignity and walk-away, if not for yourself for the sake of your daughter.. Abusive people seldom change and there's no use 'waiting' to see if things will change etc. He needs to respect you as a human first, a wife and a mother too. Staying quiet about it will do nothing, confiding in a friend may make you feel better however, it won't help the situation you are in. He needs help and while you find him help, enroll the MIL as well.
Re: don't know what to do...
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it... Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
I didn't mention this before because it only happened once(almost a year ago). I talked to him and told him I will leave him If he ever tries to hurt me again. I am just trying to explain that every women makes compromises for her marriage. I dont think there are many women who take divorce lightly and decide to leave because of minor incidents.
Oh my God . I am so appalled.
He is a mental case and it is not minor incident either, none of what you have mentioned in posts are minor incidents. He needs professional help or you need to get away from this guy till he is tamed otherwise I see more of this happening. Unless outside intervention in the form of confronting him by some authority figure is used or he takes anger management classes and gets psychological evaluation , psychiatric treatment or marriage counseling he is not going to change. If he could have changed , that little angel of a child should have put some mercy for her and her mother in his heart .
I am sorry to say that I do not see any hope for now unless any one or all of the above measures are taken in his case.