Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
Why don't you want to divorce him?
Exactly what is there left, that you have to make it work?
Just last week, a young mother with 2 young kids was murdered by her husband...he'd been abusing her too...
Once a man raises his hand on you, there is nothing left to work on.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
OH MY GOD WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING????? WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM??
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
That's the kind of thing that leads to domestic crimes and even murders. please don't be another victim. My parents had a rocky marriage but even my dad never lifted his hand on my mother.
Your husband has crossed all boundaries. Please do not stay in this marriage. There's nothing left for you! Do not stay because of your kids. Your kids will suffer too. Stay away from him if divorce is not a possibility right now.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
Perhaps you should not have waited that long if all of this true. He is sick and you need to involve someone who is influential.
P.S. You are adding the info as the thread is going further.
I didn't mention this before because it only happened once(almost a year ago). I talked to him and told him I will leave him If he ever tries to hurt me again. I am just trying to explain that every women makes compromises for her marriage. I dont think there are many women who take divorce lightly and decide to leave because of minor incidents.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
This is not about just you rainbow...its so sad to read this.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
Perhaps you should not have waited that long if all of this true. He is sick and you need to involve someone who is influential.
P.S. You are adding the info as the thread is going further.
na'azubillah aise hi kisi ke peeche na parr jaaya karein aap
she seems to be adding information because she thought you were implying she wanted to divorce him for silly reasons (see below)...she was just trying to prove that she didnt by giving u an example showing that agar tab nahin divorce di when he hit her toh how can u assume thats what she wants... diwana bhai aap bohot shaqqi mizaaj hote jaa rahe hain lagta hai star plus dekhte hain :p
[quote="diwana"]
No wonder why divorce is rising in desi families and most of the time for silly reasons.
People think marriage is like a romantic movie and have no idea how to handle the real tough situations, learn the nature of other spouse so to avoid conflicts....build nice relation.
It is interesting that some married couples are more political and polite to friends than their own spouse.
When it comes to marriage, they think the relationship should be 2+2=4.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
[/QUOTE]
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
He punched you?!!! Holy moly!
Why don't you both go to therapy? Its free...just ask your GP.
I am feeling sad and confused...the thing is my MIL is here to visit us she has been here for two months now and from the very first day of her arriving here my husband has been insulting me and criticizing me even more than he was before...(he uses words like : dafa ho jao,baqwas na karo,kutti and haramzadi..) and also he invited another random women I have never seen in my life to live with us (also for the last 2 months she said she only wants to stay for 2 days she is here on a student visa) and since my MIL in law is here I have prepared more than 10 dawaats for different guest and we had another dawaat last week and my husband was sleeping until 2-3 o clock and I was waking him up to get some stuff I needed for the dawat he woke up at 2:30 and was screaming at me only coz he had to get some stuff and was acting as if I had asked him to take over the world for me...and then I was preparing haleem and my one year old daughter was screaming I asked him to look after her and after I left her with him I heard him calling her haramzadi and kutti..I was so mad I asked him to sleep for another 4 hours and to leave us alone and I told him the dawaat was for his family and he could help out a bit..thats all I said..and than my MIL told me to be quiet and said that I am only doing this because I had to cook and work and that I dont even do that much and that I should look at others and how much they do and how they just shut up when their hubbys say something and that I always have to do "muqabla" and that its my fault because mard are just like that..she also said he works like a "kutta" for you what more do you want..
(he is 30 years old and has worked for the first time in his life..)then just ask him to stop working so that he can prepare the handi for u ....she said my son is so nice to you..you know how other men treat their wife's..you should be thankful..and she said all of this after seeing how he talks to me and knowing that he called our one year old kutti and haramzadi..and she was there when I cooked a dawaat for 10 of his friends and the next day he forgot my birthday and after I told him he said.. I dont have any money soo i cant buy u anything...yeah sure u cant coz u spent 200 pounds on ure friends...I am soo upset and now that i am really angry for the first time he acts as if he is sooooo innocent..i dont know what to do I just feel so empty and numb..
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
Exactly, Rainbow. You see the two male members ...especially SheheryarKhan....has got it into his head that taking a break from your spouse is the equivalent of getting a divorce/ending the marriage. So when some members here advised that if reasoning with your husband doesn't work and only makes matters worse.....that you take a break from him for a while......some people misunderstood that "break" as a divorce. Common sense tells ya it's not one and the same. But eh....language barrier meets arrogance....is a very off-putting and unyielding combination.
You say that you're still trying to make it work. Well "still trying" has its limits, Rainbow. He abused you last year and he's still doing it now. Not much of a change eh. The thing is ...it's not only you that will be affected....you have your daughter's well-being to worry about. Sure, as a baap and a husband, he can pay for your and your daughter's needs. But does the financial support compensate for the eroding of one's self-esteem? Something to think about.
Realize that trying has it's limits..especially when you see that things are only getting worse. Allah has forbidden oppression for Himself and He has forbidden his servants from opressing others....and enduring oppression does not have any merits either. I think God understands things are not so black and white...that's why divorce is disliked but not prohibited...if it comes to that. He's more merciful to us than society is.
Who said that I want to divorce him? I am still trying to talk to him, to tell him how he makes me feel.. that's it...
Last year we had an argument and he grabbed me by my hair, pushed me down to the floor and took his shoe off to hit me (in the head) with it as hard as he could. When I tried to defend myself he punched and choked me . I didn't leave him I gave him another chance I talked to him..and I didn't tell anyone. I tried (and I am still trying) to make it work..
He grabbed your hair/pushed/punched/chocked you… RUN!
He did that to you and abuses you. He could do that to your daughter next. He’s probably a freakin’ chaunist/jahil who will treat his wife and daughter like crap but treat his sons like kings. Sickening.
I get that everyone should make an effort to save a marriage. Divorce should never be the first option. But in saving your marriage, you don’t want to bring harm to yourself.
It was pretty serious event. One event like this should be enough to remember and should not take around 120 posts to be mentioned.
What is starplus? Heard of this so many times on GS life1.
I did not say she was trying to get divorce. I was more against those who would think divorce/separation is the ultimate option for any of domestic issues includng what had been presented before.
It took so many posts and sorta conflict of opinions before OP came out and revealed that event.
So when I said “you are adding info as the thread is going further”…
After all your nonsense about how she has to be “political” and “polite” to her husband (who in return verbally abuses her) she finally admits to being physically abused–to prove YOUR point. And you’re all but implying that she’s a troll…
She did say it happened a year ago and it wasn’t related to the incident at hand. She only brought up a past incident to prove a point by diwana–that not all people get divorced at the drop of a hat and that she’s trying her best to make it work.
Laughing at her, mocking her and calling her a troll…does that make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel smarter and more superior than everyone else?
All of a sudden a very abusive incidence is recalled by th OP when the ultimate result of the bashing desi arranged marriage and an imported Pakistani /desi man did not bring the intended result and members started questioning what should be the solution.
In the beginning ‘she’ said ‘she’ has one year old child. She supposedly conceived the child in Pakistan. And then she knew he had visa issue. Still in post # 15 ‘she’ tries to show herself a godie goodie wife and him being evil not been there when she gave birth to ‘her’ child.
And there was a tie when OP said 'she was from Britain. Nowhere it was mentioned 'she was from Berlin til,l ‘her’ English was questioned.
When someone is in bad relationship and been abused to the point as it is asserted by OP, the person will not go online in a forum to ask people their opinion.
Exactly where are the inconsistencies? Does someone have to write their entire life story and timeline of where they were, before being taken seriously?
People move from different countries, is that unheard of in your world?
I went back and read post 15 and I still don’t see why you’re mocking her. Many women whose spouses live in Pakistan, spend time with him before his visa is issued, and they have children. It’s not impossible so I don’t know what your point is, by saying she was trying to “show herself as a goodie goodie wife.”
My question to you–most people here are good at sniffing out trolls. You–on the other hand–like to look for false inconsistencies and call everyone a troll. Why is that? Is it to deflect attention from yourself?
