I am feeling sad and confused…the thing is my MIL is here to visit us she has been here for two months now and from the very first day of her arriving here my husband has been insulting me and criticizing me even more than he was before…(he uses words like : dafa ho jao,baqwas na karo,kutti and haramzadi..) and also he invited another random women I have never seen in my life to live with us (also for the last 2 months she said she only wants to stay for 2 days she is here on a student visa) and since my MIL in law is here I have prepared more than 10 dawaats for different guest and we had another dawaat last week and my husband was sleeping until 2-3 o clock and I was waking him up to get some stuff I needed for the dawat he woke up at 2:30 and was screaming at me only coz he had to get some stuff and was acting as if I had asked him to take over the world for me…and then I was preparing haleem and my one year old daughter was screaming I asked him to look after her and after I left her with him I heard him calling her haramzadi and kutti..I was so mad I asked him to sleep for another 4 hours and to leave us alone and I told him the dawaat was for his family and he could help out a bit..thats all I said..and than my MIL told me to be quiet and said that I am only doing this because I had to cook and work and that I dont even do that much and that I should look at others and how much they do and how they just shut up when their hubbys say something and that I always have to do “muqabla” and that its my fault because mard are just like that..she also said he works like a “kutta” for you what more do you want..
(he is 30 years old and has worked for the first time in his life..)then just ask him to stop working so that he can prepare the handi for u …she said my son is so nice to you..you know how other men treat their wife’s..you should be thankful..and she said all of this after seeing how he talks to me and knowing that he called our one year old kutti and haramzadi..and she was there when I cooked a dawaat for 10 of his friends and the next day he forgot my birthday and after I told him he said.. I dont have any money soo i cant buy u anything…yeah sure u cant coz u spent 200 pounds on ure friends…I am soo upset and now that i am really angry for the first time he acts as if he is sooooo innocent..i dont know what to do I just feel so empty and numb..
Re: don't know what to do...
astagfirullah
firstly make dua rainbow1987
how and when did he swear at you?
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for example he was driving and almost run over someone and I told him "aap sahi tarha deekh nahin rahe the" and he goes "baqwas karti rehti ha"
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how long has this been going on for?
for example he was driving and almost run over someone and I told him "aap sahi tarha deekh nahin rahe the" and he goes "baqwas karti rehti ha"
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they are like this the mils and the hubbys ... perhy likhy jahils ... when i try to defend my self in an argument my husbands says k tum muj se muqabilay laga rai ho n stuff ... even i dnt know how to handle it .... ppl say keep quiet when one is yelling but its so difficult to stay quiet when the other person is blaming u and overlooking what you have done for him and abusing .... huh!!!
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the problems between MILs and DILs is because of lousy husbands...
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we have been married for a year and it started right from the beginning...but when I talk to him he just twists my words and makes it look like I am the bad one and he and his fam are angles who descended from heaven
Re: don't know what to do...
we have been married for a year and it started right from the beginning...but when I talk to him he just twists my words and makes it look like I am the bad one and he and his fam are angles who descended from heaven
was that love marriage?
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we have been married for a year and it started right from the beginning...but when I talk to him he just twists my words and makes it look like I am the bad one and he and his fam are angles who descended from heaven
your mil and husband sound so much like mine :(
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How long have you been married? 
Re: don't know what to do...
rainbow1987
in all practical sense i will suggest you to play it smart and with patience. putting an offense at this stage of will screw things up very badly. you will have no one on your side, and u will end up being evil (even more than your current situation). so i will not suggest you to pick a fight with ur husband and MIL atm
plus this extra lady at your place, giving me dangerous thoughts...
we have been married for a year and it started right from the beginning...but when I talk to him he just twists my words and makes it look like I am the bad one and he and his fam are angles who descended from heaven
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I know a family where same thing was going on . I even opened thread about it. He and she both respect me so I intervened and confronted him on her behalf , he was nice to accept that he has angers issues and will behave. I did not hear anything after my intervention.
You need to find someone who knows you , your family ,and him and who he and his family also respects and that person should be willing to confront him on your behalf. In my case he and his family could not afford to cut any ties with me that is why they listened to me and changed their behavior with her.
I pray to Allah that things improve with you and your home becomes a peaceful home. Ameen.
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sad position to be in
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@Sehrysh](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/sehrysh.html) my post would have been even longer if I had explained but here goes we married in pak and I stayed with him there for 6 months and got pregnant and I came back..but we have only been living together for a year (coz his visa was issued so late)..so actually the time before doesn’t really count as you get to know someone after u live with them under one roof and in this year he has really disappointed me…and I dont want him to talk to her like that coz I was alone when I gave birth to her and afterwards it was only me and her…and I was so looking forward to him joining us here..but…
Re: don't know what to do...
rainbow
is 87 when you were born as it shows you married young
I don't know what to say, if I were you focus on your child and think of yourself as a single parent and don't sar churao either your MIL or husband until they come back to the ground..
Maybe start having good friends around who are loving and respectable and maybe it will shame him into changing himself..
PS that woman staying needs to leave ... seriously..
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and it was arranged marriage
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so u r from uk, and hes from pak?
Re: don't know what to do...
rainbow
is 87 when you were born as it shows you married young
I don't know what to say, if I were you focus on your child and think of yourself as a single parent and don't sar churao either your MIL or husband until they come back to the ground..
Maybe start having good friends around who are loving and respectable and maybe it will shame him into changing himself..
PS that woman staying needs to leave ... seriously..
yeah that is my birth year...and I have been telling him that she needs to leave and then he tells his mother how evil I am coz I dont want to help her..its his friends sister she is 45..but its just that u dont have any privacy in 2 bed flat with so many people
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are your parents in Pakistan ?