Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
What a moron.
have your freedom of thinking now :D, just wait till the girl comes and rips you to pieces:what:
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
mcpendo, just a friendly warning, dont do it. your wife might stop shaving as well.
mcpendo, just a friendly warning, dont do it. your wife might stop shaving as well.
Ahahahhaha!
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
no matter what you "maintain" your faces melt into middle age
mcpendo, just a friendly warning, dont do it. your wife might stop shaving as well.
I dont think i'll have a wife with a beard dude!
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
pakistani larkion ki mooncheen hoti heen
I dont think i'll have a wife with a beard dude!
So just a beard would bother you?? If its just a beard i think your good, but other then that you both will live a good hairy life!:)
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
I agree with Angel Eyes........that it's good to want to look attractive for your spouse. It certainly can't hurt the marriage.........and it might add that extra spark to an already stable and happy relationship.
I also agree with Ziya that one should want to look good for oneself. Allah has given us our bodies as a blessing and we should take care of it. It's not healthy to base all our approval/validation on one person's acceptance of us. That's why I feel that taking care of yourself for YOU is very necessary for the development of healthy self-esteem. Plus.......many of the basic "beauty maintenance" rituals are connected to health. For example, looking "fit" is not only more attractive......it's also conducive to physical health.
While physical attraction is undeniably one of the factors in choosing a mate.......it should not be the sole factor. In Islam.........we're advised to chose someone who has iman and good character. With the passage of time, beauty will diminish. But personality is more permanent. And an attractive personality radiates from within.
I've seen some very good looking women......whose beauty starts from their heads and ends at their feet. It doesn't go beyond that. They have very little to offer besides physical beauty because their personalities are so off-putting. And that's sad.
And while Islam does allow men to have four wives........this permission comes with an admonishment. While Allah KNOWS **that men have stronger urges, he also **KNOWS that it's hard for them to treat multiple wives fairly. Another point to remember is that the Prophet SAWS did not engage in multiple marriages for lust. He was married to Khadija RA who was about 15 years OLDER than him........and during the time of their marriage he was faithful to her. He didn't consider another marriage because Khadija RA aged faster than him or because of her possibly diminishing beauty. Her married OTHER women after Khadija RA's death to form alliances, strengthen bonds within the community, help spread Islam, and offer protection to widowed women. ** LUST **was not the priority here.
When we start making excuses like "Oh we can't help it, that's in our nature, we're weak".........we are allowing/encouraging/justifying ourselves to become weak and powerless. While some tendencies might be in our nature..........we've also been endowed with common sense and compassion and a conscience and will power for self-control (lowering the gaze). Plus.......a marriage should be a mutual relationship. The responsibility to maintain oneself should not only belong to women. Husbands should maintain themselves as well.
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
Chipkali the prob with r.v she takes everything seriuosly. but has to refute everything and everywhere. ** **Amir......Yes, there are issues that I take seriously. However, from time to time I do engage in banter and inane conversations that I find to be witty and humorous. People have different tastes when it comes to humor. Perhaps your taste in comedy is not compatible with my taste in humor.........but that doesn't necessarily mean that every comment is of a serious nature to me.
Thank you for the kind words. But to clarify, I don't feel "forced" to disagree with you as you had mentioned earlier. My posts are based on my own personal opinions and **"coercion/force" **does not play a role in them. Also, there have been many times when I have openly acknowledged that I agree with another member's post, like their ideas, and style of writing. There have been many people that agree with and like your ideas/posts....I'm not the judge here. And I am not on a mission to refute everything and everywhere. Since you had made a post in direct reference to me, there were some misunderstandings I wanted to clarify. :)
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A husband should come home to a groomed, neatly dressed and smelling great wife.. and a wife should encounter a groomed and nice smelling husband when he comes back home.
I know a lot of guys look for beautiful women. and it is kind of same everywhere. but my perception is once when you have been with a person for a while, everything seems to fade away. it all becomes normal. the kind of things that you look for, beauty included, does not matter any more. or does it? i just want to know what married people think about all this?
yes if it matters for ur spouse then it must also be a matter for you also becoz at last u will be expected to be loved only from ur spouse na?
Islam mein bhi yahi hukam hai aurton aur larkion k liye keh wo apne husband k samnay apne apko bna sanwar k rakhein taakeh wo dusri larkion per nazar na daaltay phiren. warna aesa na ho keh pani sir se guzar jaey aur phir pachtaey kia huwat jb chirdiyan chug gaen khait,
:)
I know a lot of guys look for beautiful women. and it is kind of same everywhere. but my perception is once when you have been with a person for a while, everything seems to fade away. it all becomes normal. the kind of things that you look for, beauty included, does not matter any more. or does it? i just want to know what married people think about all this?
For me the character of a person matters more, the heart has to be 'saaf'.
I'm not sure how husbands feel about it though. When my parents married me off, I was 18 and now that I look back at myself, I was actually very goodlooking, I didn't realise it then even though everyone said I had become goodlooking by the time I was aged 16-17, but I was very beautiful. My ex-husband used to say I was beautiful, sometimes mockingly, sometimes seriously. After marriage I became very depressed and started to loose my looks, then I had his children and I lost what was remaining of my looks. He started to call me ugly and even his mother started to say, I had become ugly.
Only now, I'm normal. Sometimes, when I'm thin, I look beautiful again, but it's never the same as I was before marriage.
I think for husbands your looks are important, they mostly want a beautiful wife or a rich wife. (or if they live in Pakistan, they want a wife with a foreign passport)
A husband should come home to a groomed, neatly dressed and smelling great wife.. and a wife should encounter a groomed and nice smelling husband when he comes back home.
I think it depends on the family your married into, my ex-husband used to dislike it when I dressed neatly and looked nice. My inlaws used to make fun of me, they said I was doing "nakhra", while I wasn't even arrogant, in those days, I used to think I was ugly. I was just used to saaf kapray pehnna and doing my hair neatly before I pinned my duputta on it. They made fun of everything.
Now I'm the worst dressed person in my family!
Leha
Although im not one of those animal guys. Having thoughts is different from excercising them.
I guess honesty is not appreciated.
One of the major things guys love in girls/thier spouse is OUTER BEAUTY.
I know this isnt a major for the girls.
But its the truth and even the Islam, prophet (pbuh) emphapazizes this inner inclinement of man.
have you forgot the provision of 'hoors with eyes like pearl and never before seen outer beauty'' in heaven
So any guy who tries to act all decent and mature saying thats not a major thing, then hes just being fake to make himself look good.
Not everybody has the guts to reveal thier inner wants/feelings.
I think girls should appreciate some guys having the guts to speak the truth.
Yeh other things are important. But since this thread is about Beauty i thougth id share some truth.
I think im too goona start adopting fake behaviour from now on
as honesty ki toh koi kader hi nai
Re: does beauty matter after getting married?
Yes for a man it is much important.
A groomed girl is known as a nakhraywali?
Gina beyhosh
Thats upto ones thinking Gina, its not areality you say neat and clean as well, you may say she always take care of her dressing and all, skin and all, i dont mind my wife doing all this. I would appreciate her.
I know a lot of guys look for beautiful women. and it is kind of same everywhere. but my perception is once when you have been with a person for a while, everything seems to fade away. it all becomes normal. the kind of things that you look for, beauty included, does not matter any more. or does it? i just want to know what married people think about all this?
I don't think it matters even before you get married but that's just me.