Re: Do you regret not dating
Dating is not allowed...and i don't regret....not doing it..!
The only benefit I expect people to gain from dating is getting a better understanding of themselves and what they like, dislike, can tolerate and not tolerate in the opposite gender.
one of the side-effect of dating is that people become too much choosy for their partner .. .. unconciously they start comparing everyone one with one of those who they have dated with ..
^ Totally agree with this!
"Dates" for me were usually getting coffee or dinner with a guy that I met, my parents set me up with, or my friends set me up with. I enjoyed the process of getting ready and my friends being excited for me. I went in with realistic hopes with the mindset that this is a learning experience. This helped when 99% of the guys I met were not compatible with me for abc reason. I never got serious with any of these guys.... didn't last longer than that one coffee or dinner situation.
After a bunch of lame dinners/coffees - I came across a really amazing guy. This went beyond the initial first dinner date. We spent time getting to know each other as friends and realized (because we both knew what we wanted by that point) that this was it. During our "dating period" it was always known from day one that this would lead to marriage. :) Intentions were of full commitment. There was never any drama, or anything. He was my only boyfriend. Fast forward 2 years from the time we got serious - and we got engaged. I am sure when I look back years from now, I will consider this time period as well as my engagement period as some of the best years of my life. :D I am 100% confident in marrying him and vice versa .....and unlike most girls of our culture - I am looking more forward to starting a life with him together as opposed to the shaadi itself. I'm kidna whatever about the shaadi and rasams. If I had it my way - nikkah in masjid and simple valima would be enough for me... I have my prince charming and that is all I need. :D
For those of you that havn't been in this situation before.... sometimes you dont' realize what you missed since you never had it. Which is ok!
really ... lucky you .
Re: Do you regret not dating
I have dated before and YES I definetly regret it. It has left me feeling as though it will be very very very difficult for me to find someone compatible as I have only ever come across morons. If I could go back, I definetly would not have dated anyone.
Re: Do you regret not dating
Dating is normal. Gupshup is not.
Re: Do you regret not dating
You seem to be so proud over not dating and just marrying whoever you were told you? That doesn't exactly sound very praise worthy either. In fact rather immature.
Sure dating comes with its problems but so does a marriage, a friendship and every other relation in life.
I am marrying my best friend next year. We were friends for years before we started dating and I'm glad we did. We were able to choose everything together from our new home to our entire interior design and we also had a fantastic time piecing our future together in time for our marriage.
Re: Do you regret not dating
Is it Important to date before marriage ? its not a big deal if ppl dont go on date before marriage plus i think most of the time its waste of time especially if my parents know that iam going on date with someone that will hurt them alot deeply so when i think of that i dont do stuffs like that i dont want to hurt my parents for some strangers .....and i think most of the parents esp girls one will not like this if their daughters go on date
Is it Important to date before marriage ? its not a big deal if ppl dont go on date before marriage plus i think most of the time its waste of time especially if my parents know that iam going on date with someone that will hurt them alot deeply so when i think of that i dont do stuffs like that i dont want to hurt my parents for some strangers .....and i think most of the parents esp girls one will not like this if their daughters go on date
No I am not saying that dating is important at all after all it isn't a part of our religion or culture. But I know that I would have never been able to marry somebody I don't know well but I was lucky that me and my best friend were in love.. My parents knew we talk on the phone and see each other for years as just friends so when all this came up me and my fiancee just toned it down a little bit in case the families didn't like us seeing each other all the time etc.
I don't know if I find the idea of marrying a stranger brave or stupid..
this is like asking a bunch of nuns if sex is more fun in daytime or at night. most have no clue what sex is, and the lucky ones who do will feign innocence to keep their pious reps intact.
While the statement looks seemingly correct, it has a big flaw.
There is no comparison between sex and dating.
Sex is a private act of pleasure only the person feels it (or not). (We are not going to voyeurism here)
A nun HAS to experience it to be able to say if she misses it or not, while people do not HAVE to experience dating to say they do not miss it.
Hence those who are answering they do not regret it are basing their answers from other people experiences.
Now for sex only, one could have used this statement if the question was:
"For those who never had sex, do you miss it?"
And if they had answered no, then this statement would have made some sense. :)
Well after my recent break up with my ex, i haven't been out with a girl as in dating scene. And not planning to anytime soon. However, may be i would like to go for cup of coffee with a girl if i came across any pretty one in the future.
Re: Do you regret not dating
never dated...and no regrets
no one was worth dating here :P
Re: Do you regret not dating
Why does “never dated” = “marrying a stranger” for some people? 
Re: Do you regret not dating
Ok what do you guys actually class as dating and if you haven't dated then how exactly did you get to know who you are about to spend your life with?
I class dating as the ‘going out’ crap, the ‘bf gf’ drama baazi, the utter wasting of time physically and mentally on someone who one is bound to break up with more often than not. Couples can know if the other is ‘meant’ to be or not without having to date. I am sure there are many examples on this forum.
As for me, I have erm confidence problems face to face so I have accepted the fact that it would be my parents’ who will find a girl and I’ll go from there. And if I improve my confidence I’ll find one myself.
My cousin’s friend met a guy in Uni, both were looking for a partner, they talked, not on ‘dates’ but by talking to people who knew them in order to gauge what the other is like, then had chats via texts etc and are going to get married and both seem content with each other. My point is all of this can be done without having to go through the ‘ritual’ of dating.
If you are of the dating brigade good for you. :k: I won’t stoop your level and call other people delusional.
Re: Do you regret not dating
You know, I don't think regretting not dating is the same as regretting not sleeping around before marriage. I think it suggests a desire to share experiences with someone you love being with -- without a lot of burdens and obligations. That's a natural desire to have. I think you can do that after marriage too. Don't let family life become like a prison. Even those of us who love the domestic family sphere should push ourselves to try new things, rather than settle in to the same old routine. Not only is it good for the relationship, it is good for the soul.
Well that's good for you but we are all different I was bought up in UK and I kept attached to both my cultures. I would never marry a guy because his friends sister said hes a nice guy lol and having said that dating doesn't mean sleeping around and that's now what me and my fiancee did.
Unlike you I have no confidence issues and nor does my fiancee. I had a great time growing up in the UK and visiting Pakistan every year. Me and my fiancee became friends in uni and then best friends. We would hang out every minute of the day.
If you are too in confident and un sure of yourself to meet somebody you could spend the rest of your life with therefore depend on mummy and daddy to find you who you will love for the rest of your life then good for you.
Having sex= Having sex
Dating= Dating.... Sometimes (naughty naughty) the two are mixed together lol but you would need to be clear on the question to start of with in that case.
one of the side-effect of dating is that people become too much choosy for their partner .. .. unconciously they start comparing everyone one with one of those who they have dated with ..
Some people make comparisons conciously and even verbalize it to their spouse once married. This all comes down to your individual personality. I consider this as being unfaithful, but others may not see any issues with even thinking of someone else while in a commited relationship. You don't need to have dated in your past in order to emotionally/mentally cheat on your spouse.
Re: Do you regret not dating
I dated. And I definitely do not regret it. And I also dont like being compared to a rented car.
I think in your case you should leave it upto 'mummy daddy' because not alot of girls will be bothered to put up with your attitude problem... ciao!
Okay, I have a genuine question. What's so wrong about having our parents help us decide which person to marry? As far as I'm concerned I would trust my parents 100% to help choose the right guy for me when the time comes. Seriously, they know about my personality, my likes and dislikes more then anyone else does. I'd even say sometimes they know what's best for me more than I do myself...
It's great that you dated and found your own fella but don't make it sound like asking our parents to find our rishta is some sort of last resort.
Okay, I have a genuine question. What's so wrong about having our parents help us decide which person to marry? As far as I'm concerned I would trust my parents 100% to help choose the right guy for me when the time comes. Seriously, they know about my personality, my likes and dislikes more then anyone else does. I'd even say sometimes they know what's best for me more than I do myself... It's great that you dated and found your own fella but don't make it sound like asking our parents to find our rishta is some sort of last resort.
Right on!!! Most of my friends who are dating, have had their friends hook them up, so what's so different about having parents help you out? I know my parents love me tons and wouldn't hook me up with someone psycho just to get rid of me....and as do many other desi girl's parents.