Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Let me clarify the sample size I was describing was very particular therefore the handful praople u know
Have they been born & brought up in Dubai?
Are they from middle class families & went to schools like EMS, AUS etc
I made both the above points clear in my posts. I can bet u that handful people u know dont fit in any one of the above two categories.
Unless they lived their lives here they wouldn’t have gone through the journey I described, girls that came from Pakistan after the firangis invasion are lost in the same glitz n glamour of Dubai and are the ones u probably also find in the UK.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Its not a jibe at you. Its a genuine question. Probably came across as harsh. I apologise for that but it doesn’t look like you’ve thought this through. And your idea of “extreme” religious people is what you listed in your post: wears hijab, reads Quran, incorporates Islam into her life. That’s extreme to you? What?
Also increased spirituality WILL change your marriage dynamic and relationship. You can’t box these things. If she becomes more religious you think she won’t want to share that with you? What if she starts encouraging you more to the deen? Then what? Or what if she wants to raise her children with more emphasis on Islam? You think that won’t cause problems? What if you have girls? Does your requirement of no hijab extend to your daughters?
I’m seriously asking I’m not bashing for sake of bashing.
Good grief I wear hijab, I read Quran on a daily basis, in fact I have a Quran app on my phone so I can listen or read Quran wherever I am, and that’s “extreme” religious behaviour to you!
And pointing out that some girls wear hijab but are far from religious is just nitpicking. Yes they’re not perfect but at least they are obeying their creator in one aspect of life.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
it’s a multitude of things. and to be honest, it’s got a lot to do with social media too. girls lap up the attention, but guys go lattoo over these girls and it inflates them even more. like, grow a pair and stop being so ott about a good looking girl and then wonder why she’s got a complex kind of cringe
edit:
not a parent or married (younger sibs though) make sure kids aren’t around on their phones for too long, their social media usage is fine because i tell them to post stuff that they would be comfortable posting in front of my mum and i (boo hiss twitter). and you just make sure that they are well balanced, the girls and even my teen brother can fend for himself (ie. make omelettes, cook some kinda chicken and his parathas are pretty decent). discuss worldly issues with them and ensure they are into sports or other activities etc and they understand the value of things they buy because it doesnt come easy. you make sure that they are actually driven to study and have a good understanding of what religion is or what kind of cultural background they have, and a lot of that comes from leading by example so all in all it’s down to what sort of person you are, and what kind of things you want your kids to value because they will emulate a lot of you as a parent. empathy also goes a long way.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
I have a very different experience of the Middle East, having lived there in my early childhood in the 90s. I went to an elite American school, where nothing was strict – no uniform, co-ed gym and swimming, some kids even in the school dated openly/drank/smoked like they would in the US. All of my friends and I are pretty Westernized and “liberal” and I felt no difference between living there and in North America. No one was “rebellious” because our families are pretty modern too. Now that we’ve all grown up, all of my friends and I have turned out very successful in terms of careers and the ones that are married, are great wives. I wouldn’t classify them as “firangis”, it’s just a different type of society you’re raised in.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
I don’t drink/smoke/go clubbing and have strong values and am educated, but some of the “liberal” qualities do apply to me. It depends what your views and family views are and also the social circles you associate with. To many, my clothing might be objectionable, although not very revealing, is usually skinny jeans/pants or tight dresses/skirts (I’m skinny) and my shalwar kameezes don’t have dupatas mostly and are tight fitted too. In my family and friends, this is completely normal and everyone is modern and “fashionable”, so definitely no rebellion or any sort of issues going on. This isn’t some Western invasion, everyone has always been like this and no one raises eyebrows because it’s “normal”. Some who’ve been raised in strict environments do it out of rebellion, some do it because their attitude towards culture/religion are different. You can’t pinpoint and judge their reasons.
I still wouldn’t classify myself as someone very liberal and am a fairly practicing Muslim and pretty traditional in my views of marriage. You can’t judge girls on the basis of “liberal” and “conservative” and form opinions. Wearing more Westernized clothing doesn’t ascribe you to a certain personality type and neither does wearing a hijab.
No one is perfect and everyone has different attitudes towards religion. We all pick and choose what we want to follow in Islam and are at different levels with our personal faith.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
In my first post I said I don’t want to marry a girl who wears hijab and spends entire day reading Quran while being very strict and now allowing other things in life. There needs to be a balance especially in Western society and if the girl is professional. I don’t mind if she reads Quran, I was talking about an extreme form of reading the Quran and neglecting other things in the process. Please read my original post again.
I figured you wore hijab and i don’t mean any disrespect but sorry one piece of clothing does not make a good Muslim. It’s one aspect but just that, 1 aspect. Just like growing a beard doesn’t make someone a good Muslim either. We focus on too many minor things while neglecting the bigger picture of what it means to be a good Muslim.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Yeah I know, being rebellious and socially liberal are 2 different things, sorry for blending the two in my previous post. And I know there are socially liberal girls who aren’t immoral while there are traditional girls who are immoral, I understand that. I know some girls self-identify as liberal on this thread so they arent going to like this discussion but I tried to describe my definition of wat I considered a liberal Pakistani girl because everyone has their own definitions. To each his own though, what is normal for one person may not be normal for another. But im curious, what is your definition of someone who is socially liberal? And I’m not talking about the political definition.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
What’s an extreme form of reading Quran? Its all about priorities. If you can take time out every day for worship that doesn’t mean other parts of your life will be neglected.
There are plenty of professional Muslim women who don’t compromise theirdeen for duniya. In fact in my experience the more educated they are the more they are into deen.
Also hijab and growing a beard aren’t minor things.
And why especially in a western society there needs to be a “balance”? There are more practising Muslims in the west than there are in Pakistan, India etc.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Lol, it’s not like that - the lawyer in question was at a luncheon event that I was attending, I had a good conversation with her about various issues, including prenups. I didn’t go looking for legal counsel on the issue! What do you take me for? A nutter? lol.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
But it is a political term so I can’t really separate the two. I will try anyway. A socially liberal person is capable of separating his/her personal life from everything that is going on. Doesn’t want interference and doesn’t think someone is immoral because they drink or smoke or how many people they have slept with. They simply do not care what you do in your free time as long as it is not affecting them or causing harm to another person. Yes, they care if you are driving under influence or spreading STDs or smoking around children or cheating on your partner. They usually do not care about these things unless someone is being physically or emotionally harmed. Basically, they are less judgmental than socially conservative folks who will simply form opinions of others upon knowing they drink/smoke or have slept with someone. Just because one has a liberal mindset doesn’t mean he/she will get into those habits. They are certainly more likely to try it out.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
You kind of answered yourself, you had a different experience as you belonged to upper class therefore experienced a completely different lifestyle.
I particularly mentioned an average middle class and schools like EMS because the girls belonged to a family who would barely give them 50dhs per month as pocket money which BTW included canteen money. No one had cigrattes in mind, at best you would want to buy a T-shirt from a store that too on sale. When university hit you were meant to keep up your GPA at least 3.7 to keep ur scholarship otherwise no way in hell can you afford AUS. When kids turned 18 not all parents could immediately afford to pay for their driver license cuz it costed about 5000 dirham’s. That’s a typical middle class upbringing of an average girl of the 90s in Dubai.
I was one of them, changed 2 schools and my experience was as I described.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
I know this thread is old, but I wanted to say there definetley are such girls out there. I was born and raised in the US, my friends are similar and all possess the qualities you initally described. They are cultured, moderately religious, not too modern not too conservative, and professional as well. I am going to be a doctor iA and quite a few of my female friends are too. But we hardly find guys similar to ourselves
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
These guys will say they want “professional but traditional girls”, but when they meet them, they have nakhray. Not hot enough, not sexy enough is usually the problem. Traditional bhi chahiye and sexy bhi.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
These guys will say they want “professional but traditional girls”, but when they meet them, they have nakhray. Not hot enough, not sexy enough is usually the problem. Traditional bhi chahiye and sexy bhi.
Yeh to hai.Laiken mujhe lagta hai if the girl is pretty/beautiful rather than sexy yeh bhi chalega.Magar I agree with you je overall looks ke department mei shayed expectations thori zada hote hai Larkon ke.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Yeh to hai.Laiken mujhe lagta hai if the girl is pretty/beautiful rather than sexy yeh bhi chalega.Magar I agree with you ke overall looks ke department mei shayed expectations thori zada hote hai Larkon ke
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
That road goes both ways. Plenty of women want a guy who has a great job, great personality, not overweight, has healthy habits, doesn’t have traditional Pakistani cultural values BUT is traditional religiously BUT not too religious, isn’t a mama’s boy, doesn’t have anything bad in his past like smoking/drinking/clubbing etc.
kind of cringe 
