I’m culturally conservative but religiously moderate. Based on my past relationships, I have realized I have a difficult time putting up with modern and liberal girls which seem to be a large number of girls these days whether it’s US /UK/Canada or major cities of Pakistan (Lahore, Karachi, Islamabad, etc). I also don’t want a hijabi girl or girl who is too religious. Just a normal professional girl with a relatively traditional and modest mindset (ie doesn’t drink/smoke, not being free or hanging around guys all the time, doesn’t wear tight or revealing clothes, doesnt like to attract attention, isnt into clubbing, etc etc). But most girls that are traditional also tend to be more religious. And I’m not talking about girls who have strict parents and force them to be traditional because many of those girls secretly rebel (i.e. will wear hijab before leaving house but then change into revealing tight kurtas once at uni). It’s hard to find just culturally traditional girls who are professionals…any still exist?? And if so, any advice on how I can find them?
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
The girl at 14 minute is what I’m used to haha…and then forward to 20 min to see what girls in pakistan wear at uni..so OTT
and i don’t watch pakistani dramas at all but this one is a must watch especially for the modern girls and traditional guys..girls listen to fawad khan at least :P, he even gives up his fiance because she’s too modern for him (hanging out with her male friends late at night, wearing tight clothes, not willing to compromise for husband, etc etc), I could really relate to the guys character..I want to find me a girl like that duppatta girl in that scene..sighh
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
?? What are you having trouble understanding?
Religion and culture although intertwined are 2 different entities..let me attempt to clarify for you
Religiously moderate means I don’t drink, don’t eat pork, I fast, try to be a good human being, try to pray whenever I can but don’t pray 5x a day. I don’t want to live in a household where wife is wearing hijab or always reading Quran and doesn’t allow kids or husband to listen to music and stuff like that. There are people like this. Some even get up and leave when people start dancing at a wedding. That’s religiously conservative for me.
Culturally conservative means I keep a respectful distance with girls socially (nothing wrong with having few platonic friends of opposite sex but don’t go out looking to hang out with girls all the time), dont hug girls or take pictures with them and post them over facebook, have a more traditional and modest outlook, etc etc. Culturally liberal is someone who enjoys and seeks out intermingling with opposite sex, hooks up with opposite sex, wears tight or revealing clothes, etc etc
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Everyone has their own point of view and definitions. I tried to explain mine in this thread. What’s your definition of a traditional professional girl?
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Usually, those who are conservative, will be conservative with respect to both culture and religion. You’re not really going to find a girl in a western country who wears a dupata and shalwar kameez outside. More and more people in Pakistan are ditching dupatas too, not just in terms of wearing Western clothes but also with Pakistani clothes.
I watched the clip and to be honest, I didn’t see anything OTT about her clothes, or even remotely objectionable and I would say I’m religiously moderate too. Most girls, whether hijabi or not, wear clothes like that. Usually the ones who are more religious may object to that, but they’d probably wear a hijab.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
My definition is probably pretty close to your own - a girl who respects cultural and religious boundaries, and while not a perfect practitioner of faith, nevertheless lives by those religious principles and wants the same from members of her family.
I would put money on the fact there are plenty of traditional professional girls within your larger community/social circle - but odds are they are going unnoticed because they were raised within those cultural/moral boundaries and find it awkward to socialize with guys within the community. Parents who raise traditional girls, raise them to not talk to boys or be friends with them or in any way free with them - which is fine, except it inhibits their ability to socialize or get noticed by guys because according to amma and abba, guys shouldn’t be noticing them. They are the ultimate Plain Janes (less in appearance, and more about not being the centre of attention).
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Yeah of course not expecting US desi girl to wear duppatta or shalwar kameez. Obviously a professional girl will have to wear shirts, pants, dresses, etc. There is a decent classy way to wear those outfits though. Doesn’t have to be revealing, tight or showing off legs or cleavage bearing.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Seriously though all the girls in my community are either hijabis or way too modern and liberal for me. Ive experienced the modern girls, wayy too much high maintenence, they’re good as girlfriends but cant imagine spending rest of my life with them I dont care anymore how gorgeous they are. I need to find me a plain jane to marry
In the end I guess I just want a classy and decent wife who has boundaries.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
At work, majority of girls are dressed in a classy manner. Workplaces have sets of rules and dress codes, albeit those rules might not be modest enough for you.
I think it’s just hard to find girls like that unless they’re hijabi…but many of them also wear “tight” clothing.
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
You can actually still find girls here in the UK who only wear shalwar khameez.. Because their families are socially conservative they often wouldn’t be allowed out much on their own and certainly not after dark.. I would keep it very distinct from religion tho as most religious girls I see are ok with western clothes, just with a hijab and maybe a long coat or top, rather than shalwar khameez and they often do have more freedom in terms of work, studying and marriage..
20-odd years ago it was very common for Pak girls here to only (or mainly) wear shalwar khameez and although now much fewer in number there are families who still expect or prefer it.. I remember as a kid being surprised at girls wearing shalwar khameez even as their school uniform in places like East London.. Those girls nearly always had arranged marriages at an early age and weren’t encouraged to go to uni or work.. Probably near impossible for an ‘outsider’ to end up married to one rather than someone their parents had chosen..
Re: do traditional professional girls still exist?
Do you not want a girl who wears hijab period? Because hijab does not equal to the other things you mentioned. I know plenty of women who wear hijab. They read the Quran regularly but now “always”. They listen to music/watch movies etc., don’t get up when there is dancing at weddings etc. If you don’t want a girl who wears hijab at all…that’s a separate issue. But if you’re more concerned about how the girl lives/expects to live her daily life, what her hobbies are, and how she wants to raise kids…I’m not sure how you would know any of that without talking to the girl directly or knowing about her through a family member or close friend.
