disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

[goddamniamsoawesome]

Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour

@Murgi

I’m not married, so maybe i don’t get it. but if you’re constantly physically and mentally abused by someone, how can you even think about having sex

Maybe its just exercise you know? Get rid of those toxins and what not.

[Khumar]

Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour

LOL. well…it does burn more calories than housework (or so i’ve heard )

[goddamniamsoawesome]

Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour

I’ve seen evidence of that. Of course in medical journals

[Khumar]

Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour

@goddamniamsoawesome

I’ve seen evidence of that. Of course in medical journals

is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[goddamniamsoawesome]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

How would I know? 'See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil'

[Gaia]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

kya mje asay insaan k sath zindagi guzarni chahii ,.isi umeed par k kabhi to isko mera pyar nazar ayga...ar kabhi yh naram dil hoga....yan chor dun.... mom told insaaan apni adatein kabhi nai badal skta......

Your mom is 100% right.

[Nisha25]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Murgi

i'm not married, so maybe i don't get it. but if you're constantly physically and mentally abused by someone, how can you even think about having sex, the most intimate of things, with that person? i have heard time and time again where the guy treats her like absolute sh!t, but they still end up producing 3 kids. wtf? trying to reconcile things is one thing, but just laying there thinking it will help, doesn't. in the end, the woman doesn't gain anything, he's the one that wins. she just ends up having to take care of her offsprings, be essentially an outcast by being called a divorcee, while he marches on and 98% of the time finds someone else to sleep with legally.

not either but i just hate the idea of divorce, marriage is different from just a relationship(gf, engagement....), i'm one that believes that one should put all into a marriage fight for the bond as much as one(if it's one sided) or both can and when there's absolutely no hope for improvement in sight, then the big "D" word can be uttered or even thought of. those vows taken during the wedding have some value

plus we haven't heard his side of this whole situation.

[Khumar]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Nisha25

not either but i just hate the idea of divorce, marriage is different from just a relationship(gf, engagement....), i'm one that believes that one should put all into a marriage fight for the bond as much as one(if it's one sided) or both can and when there's absolutely no hope for improvement in sight, then the big "D" word can be uttered or even thought of

I agree as well. but i'm not talking about divorce right now. i'm just trying to comprehend sleeping with the abuser, and then producing babies with that person.

but maybe that's a topic for another thread.

[NomiCA]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Murgi

but maybe that's a topic for another thread.

that is correct..

[redvelvet]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Murgi

I agree as well. but i'm not talking about divorce right now. i'm just trying to comprehend sleeping with the abuser, and then producing babies with that person.

but maybe that's a topic for another thread.

Knew a desi woman in her 40s who had separated (but not divorced) from her husband. A point came in the marriage when he got physically abusive as well and she abhorred the idea of sleeping with him because of this. I'm not condoning his abuse....but having interacted with the woman.....I can see that she was at fault as well in the relationship. While she's not physically abusive....she's not always the easiest person to get along with either.

[Khumar]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@NomiCA

that is correct..

thank you for your input bows down

[diwana]

Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour

@philosophy

he’s not a baby. he needs to take this like a “man”, even if that includes inciting.

sana, be upfront and let him know you’re an adult too and not an object to be controlled and abused. and your parents have every right to question him and let him know they are as capable as him.

And that seems to be the problem.

He is not a baby! So he may not listen to anyone. IF she wants the marriage saved then she has to give up her demand FOR NOW. That is what I wrote earlier.

**Why do so many women think marital problems can be solved by wrestling kind of attitude? **

Hum Dekh Lengay!

Oye! Bata Duo Usko! Hum Bhi Kum Nahin!

BTW, OP needs to tell more and a lot need to be known here. No need to speculate anything on sketchy info so far.

[Deeba1234]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Murgi

I agree as well. but i'm not talking about divorce right now. i'm just trying to comprehend sleeping with the abuser, and then producing babies with that person.

but maybe that's a topic for another thread.

Maybe those abused women have such low self-esteem they think their husbands will somehow end up loving them if they sleep with them.. and then u get the brainwashed ones who really believe it's their 'duty' to sleep with their husbands no matter how messed up their relationships are..

Also, obviously this is completely different but it is possible to be sexually attracted to someone whose personality or behaviour you hate..

[NomiCA]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Murgi

thank you for your input bows down

its ok..."shafqat bhara haath phairing on your head" :D

[Southie]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

...

[NomiCA]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

now the OP isn't here with any followup or more info.. and everyone goes on assuming/supposing the details and ranting :D

[diwana]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@NomiCA

now the OP isn't here with any followup or more info.. and everyone goes on assuming/supposing the details and ranting :D

Yep!

One post and over 70 posts of all the fuss over it (with issues which were not even mentioned by OP) . Great! :D

[Southie]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

^ Going by above logic, if the cut-off is say 70 posts per OP post, I assume posts 71-78 are irrelevant rants/fuss. Anyway, wont derail this thread. Hope the posts have helped the OP. Good luck and God Bless.

[diwana]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

@Southie

^ if the cut-off is say 70 posts per OP post, ....... Hope the posts have helped the OP. Good luck and God Bless.

No one said there was any cutoff.

How can she be helped if info is not complete. Based on what we know the problem seems to be from both sides. Lots of assumptions and speculations were made so far. Thanks for deleting post 75 and then saying something about 71-78 posts. ;)

[Southie]

Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour

My comment was directed at those who claimed on one hand there are too many posts while posting at the same time! My deletion of post 75 was because it did not provide any solution, except stating the previous post by awesome was good. Anyway, I don't want to derail the thread. You can have the last word.