4 months hogay han hamari shadi ko…ar nikha ko ak saal…
nikha k bad mje pata chala tha k mera husband bht gusay wala hy ,ussay choti choti baton par gusa ata hy..wo balochi ar mai punjabi hun…bt we both live in dubai…his way of living is like arabic bt thinking is like balochi…aurat paon ki joti hay etc etc…
nikha k bad mai yhi sochti rahi k jab shadi hojaygi wo thik hojayga…wo mje us time ghumnay k liy lay kar jata tha jissy meri mom acha nai smjhti thi bt wo mera husband tha so wo ussy kuch nai keh skti thi…mai uskay liy mom se lar kar uskay sath jati thi…it was arrange marriage bt pir love ho chuka tha…
dan ahista ahista uska gusa ar bad behaviour mjh par kholnay laga…jissy us time mai chup kar k sun lyti thi…ar bad mai wo maffiii mang lyta tha…
pir shadi ho gai…ar honeymoon par chalay gay wahan kabhi kisi bat par dant dyta to kabhi kisi bat par insult coz i guess ussay pyar ki zuban ati hi nai…
wapis akar hum sahi rahay wo mje bahir b ly kar jata tha ar mom k ghar b ak raat rehnay dyta tha…coz har week wo weekend par suba tak bahir hota hy isliy mje wo mom k ghar chor dyta tha…
pir inkay ghar mai hi ak jhagra hoa,jis mai is nay meri side li…mje yh ehsas hogaya k yh apnay gharwalon k samnay mje bht izzat dyta hay ar kamray mai insult abuses normal hy…
dan ak raat mai jab apnay ghar gai to isnay mje kaha k kal tum wapis ghar mai honi chahii warna wo 3 lafz kahonga to hmesha apnay ghar hi rehna…
mje is ki yh bat bht buri lagi…kyunki jab b laraii hoti to yh mje kehta k apnay kapray uthaoo ar nikal jao is ghar se…
mai ny apnay gharwalon ko bata dia…pir gharwalon ny is k abu se bbaat ki…to unhon nay smjhaya…lakin iski soi wahin atak gai k mai nay apnay gharwalon ko kyun bataya…
iski saza is nay mje yh di k kahin bahir lay kar nai jata ar mje mom se b milwanay nai lay kar jata…
hamari laraii hmesha is baat par hoti hay…k mje mama k ghar chordo ar wo kehta hy k nai…jab mera dil karyga tab hi lay kar jaonga…sirf 15 min ka rasta hy…
pehaly pehlay mai chup kar k sunti thi lakin ab mai behas karti hun k waja batoo…inti gandi gandi batein kehta hy k tum apnay ghar …kya kuch kar k ati ho…
i think so im pregnant bt i dun want to b…coz iska rawaiya ar b bura hojayga…is tarah isko yh hoga k ab yh kuch nai karskti…
mai kya karon?mai bht buray tareekay se phas gai hun…meri mom nay pak jana hy for her operation ar mje ghar rehna hy unka ghar smbhalnay k liy ar yh mje kabhi janay nai dyga…
ar mom kehti hy k agr tum na aii to hmesha k liy mjse jaogi…
kya mje asay insaan k sath zindagi guzarni chahii ,.isi umeed par k kabhi to isko mera pyar nazar ayga…ar kabhi yh naram dil hoga…yan chor dun…
mom told insaaan apni adatein kabhi nai badal skta…
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
Sad situation.......it seems from your post he is the DEVIL...and you have nothing to do the way he is behaving....good luck...
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
Abay Nomi translate for us Jahils. I have no clue what she is saying.
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
oh man, the whole thing’s in urdu/hindi or is that punjabi…
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
i can’t believe i’m doing thsi but… :hinna:
its been 4 months since we’ve been m arried and 1 year since our nikkah. Since we had our nikkah I found out that my husband is very angry, he gets angry over little little baatein. he is balochi and i am punjabi but we both live in dubai. his way of living is like arab but thinking is balochi, in that a woman is a man’s shoe etc.
After teh nikkah i thought that he will be better after the wedding…in taht time he used to take me out and my mother thought ti wasn’t right but he was myk husband so she didn’t say anything…i used to fight with my mom over him. it was an arranged marriage but then we fell in love. But slowly his anger and bad behavior started to show at me…at the time i used to stay quiet and listen and then he would ask me for forgiveness. we got married and went on our honeymoon and there he yelleed at me for different things and sometimes insulted me because I guess he doesn’t know language of love!
When we came back he was normal with me, he used to take me out and let me stay at my moms house one night a week..because every weekend he would be out until the morning and thats why he left me at my moms house. But then at his house there was a fight and he took my side. I realized that he will respect me in front of his family but then insult and abuse me in private.
Then one night I went to my parents house and he said that tomorrow 'you should be bak home or else i will say those 3 words and u will forever stay in your home." i didn’t like this, cz when we fight he says to take my clothes and leave his home.
I told my family members and they talked to his father and his parents explained to him…but he is stuck on the point that why did I tell my gharwalay
For this, he is punishing me by not taking me out anywhere and he doesnt even let me meet my mom. We always fight over this point to leave me at my moms house and he says no, when he feels like it then he will take me..its only 15 minutes away.
before i used to listen quietly but now i argue back too ke tell me the reason…he says such dirty things that you do this at your house
I think im pregnant but i dont want to be because his attitude will be worse
what do i do? i am stuck in a bad situation…my mom is goign to pakistan for her operation and i have to stay home to care for her home but he will never let me go…
my mom says that if i dont come then i will forever be gone from her
should i live my life with this kind of guy that maybe one day he will love me…and his heart will soften? or should i leave him?
mom says a person never changes their habits
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
^Sara 
well done :k:
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
now that was a very well done job of translation :k:
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
Wow. That is spousal abuse. Get a divorce you will be better off.
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
It proves one more thing......."love" is a total BS idea........she fell in love with this guy...and within months she is done already...
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
If you are not pregnant then do not get pregnant till issues are settled. Need to work through for now. No need to insist for a while. He does not sounds a good person. No need to incite him if possible. Do kep in touch with your family and keep them in loop but you should not tell them every little problems and they should not run everytime to his family on small matters.
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
He's married but he stays out alll night at the weekends? Does that not seem a bit odd?
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
^there are other 'odd' things to worry about.....
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
iski saza is nay mje yh di k kahin bahir lay kar nai jata ar mje mom se b milwanay nai lay kar jata.... hamari laraii hmesha is baat par hoti hay....k mje mama k ghar chordo ar wo kehta hy k nai...jab mera dil karyga tab hi lay kar jaonga...sirf 15 min ka rasta hy....
Nobody .....not your loser husband......not a single member from your susraal can stop you from visiting your own parents. That's a really low thing to do. While your husband is messed up.........I also think that YOU (SanaDubai) would be partly to blame if you keep seeking his permission for every little thing. There are some things...basic things....that one doesn't need approval for. If you seek approval often enough...you'll eventually relinquish your power and lose respect in the process.
Your mother's home is only 15 minutes away............so go by yourself. Inform your in-laws in advance...and then go. Or get someone from your mom's house to pick you up. Your husband just wants to see you beg and plead and cry in front of him to take you to your ammi's home..........when really......you're not a choti bachi and you can go there by yourself. ***Now, if your husband has an issue because you're spending more time with your parents compared to him, etc....then you need to work on striking a balance. Still...it's isn't justification for him to threaten divorce over something like this. Out of all the forms of abuse that I read and hear about.....preventing a spouse from visiting their parent is the one that gets under my skin the most.
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
He's married but he stays out alll night at the weekends? Does that not seem a bit odd?
Yup, I thought that was weird as well. I could understand if his job requires him to travel and he comes home late during the weekdays. But weekend? That seems fishy especially if it happens often. And I wonder why the OP didn't mention any concerns about that? Distress over his verbal abuse, divorce threats, and preventing her from visiting parents is indicated in the post.......but there's nothing about any suspicion regarding his whereabouts during the weekend.
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
Seriously. I don’t know why people stick around in abusive relationships. There is absolutely no excuse for that.
Everything I say in the next few sentences is the truth.
- A man who disrespects his wife constantly will NEVER respect her at a future point in time. He will never ever appreciate you constantly; troughs and crests will be your life.
- A man who acts like that will only stick to the marriage so he can show others he isn’t unfaithful, a horrible husband or a weak human being. Plenty of Asians are like that.
- You are better off leaving this man and moving on with your life. If you aren’t pregnant you have to bail. If you are and you can still bail, do it. You have lots of thinking to do.
- Have a discussion with him, straight up, no mind games from either partner. Lay down what your issues are and how both of you can tackle them. You both have to compromise.
P.S. Finally, your view that Balochis think that a woman is a shoe is racist. By that logic men from every race think the same. We just have different standards of sexism you know. Sure our cultures a bit slow to adapt to the new standards of gender equality but to remind you, we’ve had sexism around for a long time.
Now you’ll say Hey! That was a long time ago! But guess what, the sexism has just evolved into more subtle and under the radar forms in Western societies. At least Asians are still up front about it. But I’m sure the attitudes are changing.
/rant
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
but you see…the girl fell in love with this guy…how can you be sure she will not fall for the DEVIL again?? 
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
Why a guy can’t have his guy night? 
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
Why a guy can't have his guy night?
a guy can........married guy can't ...
Re: disturbed coz of husband's behaviour
It proves one more thing......."love" is a total BS idea........she fell in love with this guy...and within months she is done already...
First of all, the OP mentions that she had an arranged marriage and that later they developed "love" for one another. "Within months she is done already" almost makes it seem like you think she's the one ready to throw in the towel. While there are two sides to a story and while we have no idea if she's behaving in a way that's irritating him.............what we've read so far about him.....is far from pleasant and that's a tough situation to be in.
Re: disturbed coz of husband’s behaviour
Aye she could have been a better judge of his character but the problem was such marriages don’t leave room for people to understand each other before you actually live with that person. I think families play a huge role in such unions. They should be held accountable. And no matter who she fell for, such abuse is definitely should not be tolerated.
All of us make mistakes but to pay for our mistakes like this is crazy. I am sure there’s another side to this story, its too convenient for anything to go one way only but I doubt anything justifies such behaviour, no?