Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
So based on your account, we know that DIL is:
Selfish
So given all the *keeray *that you listed and I have generously contributed to, why is son tolerating the woman? If she is really like the villains of a lazy novelist, I’d say dump her derriere.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Befriend her then. U will be amazed at what you find out.
Believing everything u hear isnt very wise…always know both sides to a story before you judge.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
So based on your account, we know that DIL is:
Selfish
So given all the *keeray *that you listed and I have generously contributed to, why is son tolerating the woman? If she is really like the villains of a lazy novelist, I’d say dump her derriere.
I don’t know the woman (the dil) in question, but giving a general reply.
Even murderers don’t kill people all day long. They have their good sides too.
All the horrible people that I know (and with horrible I mean the backstabbers, snitches, people who drift others apart and create hate among them, rude to elders etc,), they have their other, good side too. They don’t do their nasty behaviour all day long and they are not rude to everyone. They are only rude to the ones they know they can be rude to.
Mean girls, are not mean to their boyfriends, while they can bully people till they cry.
Muzna
December 13, 2012, 4:11pm
64
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
see I learned something from Le Pakistan.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
actually, NO. we can come up with a very different based on my account also that DIL is:
caring: cooked for husband after seeing he liked MIL’s cooking
accomodating and compromising: started washing dishes occasionally after MIL expressed concern over boys doing work eventhough men SHOULD do housework its not the 18th century anymore and she did make that case.
sweet: living with in-laws and hasn’t run away eventhough she obviously doesnt like them
career-oriented: works, studies, etc.
fashion-able: likes to dress up-to-date with skinny jeans
loves husband: likes to spend more time with him instead of not caring like najeeb’s wife
Thats probably the side that her family sees and doesn’t see the other side. I swear i’m not trying to be biased in my accounts, I can only tell u what i know. I really want to get to the bottom of this issue, which is why i’m also telling u the stuff MIL thinks/does which i personally disagree with as she IS too traditionaly and desi-aunty mentality regarding sons.
So based on your account, we know that DIL is:
Selfish
So given all the *keeray *that you listed and I have generously contributed to, why is son tolerating the woman? If she is really like the villains of a lazy novelist, I’d say dump her derriere.
DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Can someone tell me the purpose of this thread? There are grey matters and then there are black and white matters and based on the original post, this clearly belongs to the latter. The DIL seems extremely cold hearted but any living thing capable of moving would think that. Do you need validation as to how she is such a horrible person??
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
I don’t know the woman (the dil) in question, but giving a general reply.
Even murderers don’t kill people all day long. They have their good sides too.
All the horrible people that I know (and with horrible I mean the backstabbers, snitches, people who drift others apart and create hate among them, rude to elders etc,), they have their other, good side too. They don’t do their nasty behaviour all day long and they are not rude to everyone. They are only rude to the ones they know they can be rude to.
Mean girls, are not mean to their boyfriends, while they can bully people till they cry.
Um, I am sorry but I dont think I read anywhere that husband is blind? Otherwise no one can be so oblivious to his/her partner’s behavior to their parents since they all live under one roof.
actually, NO. we can come up with a very different based on my account also that DIL is:
caring: cooked for husband after seeing he liked MIL’s cooking
accomodating and compromising: started washing dishes occasionally after MIL expressed concern over boys doing work eventhough men SHOULD do housework its not the 18th century anymore and she did make that case.
sweet: living with in-laws and hasn’t run away eventhough she obviously doesnt like them
career-oriented: works, studies, etc.
fashion-able: likes to dress up-to-date with skinny jeans
loves husband: likes to spend more time with him instead of not caring like najeeb’s wife
Thats probably the side that her family sees and doesn’t see the other side. I swear i’m not trying to be biased in my accounts, I can only tell u what i know. I really want to get to the bottom of this issue, which is why i’m also telling u the stuff MIL thinks/does which i personally disagree with as she IS too traditionaly and desi-aunty mentality regarding sons.
Finally the character got fleshed out a bit resembling more like a real life human with shortcomings and maybe some hidden good traits.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
I blame the skinny jeans. Have you ever tried doing any manual labour in those things? It’s impossible :-/
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Um, I am sorry but I dont think I read anywhere that husband is blind? Otherwise no one can be so oblivious to his/her partner’s behavior to their parents since they all live under one roof.
Finally the character got fleshed out a bit resembling more like a real life human with shortcomings and maybe some hidden good traits.
It has nothing to do with the husband being blind or whatsoever. Neither did I say that he doesnt know her other side.
Nobody is 100% evil. Otherwise you’d be seeing a lot of single loners around you.
STA
December 13, 2012, 4:40pm
70
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
pkgrl000:
OK so here’s a scenario:
you got married into a joint family…the husband has a mom, dad, and brother living at home. upon initial discussions after marriage, the MIL stated that we can live together for a few months but ofcourse after you guys figure out where you will get jobs, pursue your future education, etc you can move out to your own home . meaning, MIL doesn’t really care when you leave.
A few months later, MIL gets diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Bad prognosis, few months left.
Now, the DIL still doesn’t like living with the family . The son is confused, because obviously he doesn’t want to leave his mother at this stage of her life, but still probably wants to live separately in his heart of hearts. Now, there are constant fights between DIL and son about when to move out. the DIL is starting to show MIL an attitude. MIL isn’t really dependent on son for anything (physically or financially) but still likes to live together, knowing that she may not live too much longer.
The reason DIL wants to move out: MIL is too traditional , wants her to make chai each evening, wants DIL to wear shalwar kameez at home. DIL is still in school, works full-time, visits her mom once a week, free to do what she wants. does no chores in the home unless she wants to.
DIL is too mean, and son should open his eyes and make decision of his own life.
If girl is too unreasonable at this stage, he should consider to take bigger decision. Do what or at least **threaten **what NomiCA suggests mostly.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Um, that was the point I was trying to make the whole time, albeit in my long winded way.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
MIL : 9999999 guppies
counting on …
Sara516
December 13, 2012, 6:13pm
73
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
actually, NO. we can come up with a very different based on my account also that DIL is:
caring: cooked for husband after seeing he liked MIL’s cooking
accomodating and compromising: started washing dishes occasionally after MIL expressed concern over boys doing work eventhough men SHOULD do housework its not the 18th century anymore and she did make that case.
sweet: living with in-laws and hasn’t run away eventhough she obviously doesnt like them
career-oriented: works, studies, etc.
fashion-able: likes to dress up-to-date with skinny jeans
loves husband: likes to spend more time with him instead of not caring like najeeb’s wife
Thats probably the side that her family sees and doesn’t see the other side. I swear i’m not trying to be biased in my accounts, I can only tell u what i know. I really want to get to the bottom of this issue, which is why i’m also telling u the stuff MIL thinks/does which i personally disagree with as she IS too traditionaly and desi-aunty mentality regarding sons.
you know what? if this was a plain old DIL not wanting to live with in laws kind of situation, I would be on daughter-in-law’s side.
But the fact that THE MOTHER HAS CANCER!!! So, based on whatever you’ve already told us, YES, continuing to be a brat makes her an idiot.
Stop nadz-ing us.
Iyla
December 15, 2012, 4:54pm
74
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
You are right, there IS probably more to this story, but unfortunately I can’t talk directly to DIL about this and therefore don’t have her “side” of the story.
However, the dressing issue is simply cuz the DIL is a bit on the heavier side, and when she initially wore tight yoga pants at home all the time MIL thought it looked a bit inappropriate. Then MIL told this issue to the son, and asked the DIL to wear shalwar kameez “jab koi ghar visit karne aye” meaning only when guests come etc. The DIL doesn’t actually follow this thing and still wears skinny jeans, tights, etc even though her weight is still a bit on the upper side. I do agree though that this demand of MIL is too much because girl should be able to wear whatever she wants in her own home as long as she is comfy. So yes, the MIL is more demanding in this sense. However, MIL is also the same way with both sons, always telling them to dress more “appropriate” never wear shorts etc and the sons just laugh it off and wear what they like anyways. I guess as a desi society we judge that to be OK if the sons are ignoring their mom’s request for appropriate dressing but not DIL.
As far as i know, yes the MIL is more traditional, but is equally critical of these things with everyone in her life whether its her own kids or DIL, she hasn’t done anything to specifically target the DIL.
The thing that really has always irked MIL is that DIL, on the first day after marriage, told everyone that she has never, and will never wash the dishes as she doesn’t want her hands to become damaged or dry. So, since that day either MIL or the son wash the dishes only. Although MIL has no prob doing it herself, MIL (like a typical desi) doesn’t like her sons doing housework and always gets upset if she sees HIM wash the dishes while DIL stands next to him talking and laughing.
And THIS is something where the MIL did criticize the DIL and said its not appropriate for men to do house work while u do nothing etc. After a few months and a few “convos” over this, DIL did some soul-searching, and started washing the dishes in the dishwasher occasionally (weekends only, if she didnt have to study). Now the DIL always makes this a big thing that she has changed herself soo much for the family and even started helping out with the housework etc. and she should be appreciated for it.
The DIL once also made an issue when son was eating MIL’s food and complimented it many many times in one sitting. The DIL made the same dish over the weekend and son didn’t compliment it but just once. DIL then told son to no longer compliment MIL’s cooking so much as it makes her feel bad. This has been admitted by DIL in a convo with me.
It sounds like you could be one of the main problems…as you seem to be interfering and judging a hell of a lot!
Iyla
December 15, 2012, 4:55pm
75
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
So based on your account, we know that DIL is:
Selfish
So given all the *keeray *that you listed and I have generously contributed to, why is son tolerating the woman? If she is really like the villains of a lazy novelist, I’d say dump her derriere.
Haha…best post! Lol.
S_and_S
December 15, 2012, 6:03pm
76
DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Wtf. This girl sounds like such a selfish pig. The son needs to grow a backbone and put this girl in her place. Send her back to her parents for while, whatever because he will regret all his decisions once his mother is not here and no one wants that hanging over them for the rest of their lives.
All I can say is what goes around comes back around. They have their entire lives ahead of them, who knows what is in their kismat. They need to seriously reevaluate themselves. Pigs.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
S_and_S:
Wtf. This girl sounds like such a selfish pig. The son needs to grow a backbone and put this girl in her place. Send her back to her parents for while, whatever because he will regret all his decisions once his mother is not here and no one wants that hanging over them for the rest of their lives.
All I can say is what goes around comes back around. They have their entire lives ahead of them, who knows what is in their kismat. They need to seriously reevaluate themselves. Pigs.
hey. stop calling them pigs. pigs live on their own, not with in-laws. talk about twisting the facts
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
I don’t know why, but I feel really bad for your future wifey.
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
where did my future wifey come in? i just told her not to call someone a pig undeservingly.
Iyla
December 15, 2012, 9:12pm
80
Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL
Why you bringing in someone’s future wife into this?!
