you got married into a joint family…the husband has a mom, dad, and brother living at home. upon initial discussions after marriage, the MIL stated that we can live together for a few months but ofcourse after you guys figure out where you will get jobs, pursue your future education, etc you can move out to your own home. meaning, MIL doesn’t really care when you leave.
A few months later, MIL gets diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Bad prognosis, few months left.
Now, the DIL still doesn’t like living with the family. The son is confused, because obviously he doesn’t want to leave his mother at this stage of her life, but still probably wants to live separately in his heart of hearts. Now, there are constant fights between DIL and son about when to move out. the DIL is starting to show MIL an attitude. MIL isn’t really dependent on son for anything (physically or financially) but still likes to live together, knowing that she may not live too much longer.
The reason DIL wants to move out: MIL is too traditional, wants her to make chai each evening, wants DIL to wear shalwar kameez at home. DIL is still in school, works full-time, visits her mom once a week, free to do what she wants. does no chores in the home unless she wants to.
I'm seriously speechless
I can't believe the DIL is behaving the way she is...............I'd be more than pissed if I was the husband
Wearing shalwar kameez and making chai at home isn't that big of deal, more so when the poor lady only has a short time left in this world
DIL gives other daughters in law with real serious issues a bad name.
making chai, wearing shalwar kaemez, isn't a big deal.
On the other hand--if she so traditional that she wants her to quit school and work, and not visit her parents.......I can c the issue. but still.....under these circumstances, she should do whatever she can to make her last months comfortable.....
I can only pray that this is hypothetical and that there seriously not some DIL out there who is this shallow and insensitive.
On behalf of those of us who have been priviledged to do kidmat for our parents and in laws while they suffered end stage cancer, all I can do is shake my head
What's the question? who's right and who's wrong? the MIL only has a few MONTHS to live, the DIL has to be extremely immature and insensitive to not realize that her husband must want to live with his mom for these last months she has left. DIL does no chores, visits her mom once a week, chills when she wants to, all she has to do is make a cup of tea every evening and wear shalwar kameez in the house. Seriously, this shouldn't even be a point of discussion. Obviously the DIL should stay with her inlaws, this is the her last chance to attend to and take care of her MIL. Her husband will always remember how his wife treated his mom in her last days.
Making chai and wearing shalwar kameez. Haey the zulm!
Though it does seems a little far-fetched to me that an educated adult woman would make those two things an issue. Are there any details missing pkgrl?
Anyhow, if the two do move out, the mom won’t be alone. They could get a place nearby. That way DIL has her space and the son can visit his mom whenever he likes.
Is this for real?
Ok, DIL , what if your mother was given the news she has stage 4 cancer and has a few months to live? And if your own mother had a son/daughter whose spouse is more concerned about themselves, would the same thing apply to them.
I've helped in many ghusl janazas over the years, and have been witness to so many emotions and personal stories ..murder victims, domestic abuse victims, children murdered by their parents, children who have died in freak accidents...
I will never forget the young man who after ghusl was given to his mother, how he caressed his mother, begging her for forgiveness and crying "Ami, mujhe maaf karao, Ami, mujhe maaf karo" .. He left his Mother when she was newly diagnosed with cancer as his wife and his mother did not get along, moved away to another state. His mothers last few months were spent with her Muslim neighbours taking care of her, people from the Masjid taking shifts being with her, being her caretaker,..those same people washed her body when she passed away, and those same people buried her that day. Her son turned up on the day of her janaza, minus his wife. Seems dramatic, sounds like a story line, but it sadly is not. Unfortunately dramas are based on real life.
DIL is only interested in herself. She lacks empathy for het husband and his family among other qualities such as common sense and patience. She needs to watch out and snap out of it....cuz at some point in the future her husband might develop a big time grudge toward her for the way his mom was treated and take that out on her and thus strain the marriage.
DIL is crazy, wearing shalwar kameez and making chai is not a big deal...DIL needs to grow up and take care of her MIL cuz the poor MIL may not live for too long also instead of arguing with her husband she should support the husband and say we should not be thinking about this rite now.....
I will never forget the young man who after ghusl was given to his mother, how he caressed his mother, begging her for forgiveness and crying "Ami, mujhe maaf karao, Ami, mujhe maaf karo" .. He left his Mother when she was newly diagnosed with cancer as his wife and his mother did not get along, moved away to another state. His mothers last few months were spent with her Muslim neighbours taking care of her, people from the Masjid taking shifts being with her, being her caretaker,..those same people washed her body when she passed away, and those same people buried her that day. Her son turned up on the day of her janaza, minus his wife. Seems dramatic, sounds like a story line, but it sadly is not. Unfortunately dramas are based on real life.
This story made me tear up.
This woman...this daughter in law that isn't worthy of being called a daughter in law needs to be slapped. Anyone that doesn't have sympathy for the ill doesn't really possess much of a heart. In which case...what exactly is he married to her for? What did he marry? A face?
I don't think the son should listen to this callous woman...if she insists...let her go alone. He'll be better off without such baggage tying him down and turning his life into a Star Plus drama.
