Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Lifestyle Relationships
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Good afternoon everyone,

I have been reading many posts about Pakistani girls who are having such a hard time in the rishta process and finding proposals. The girls who do find proposals end up fighting with the guy and breaking up either before or after the wedding. They have problems with inlaws, the guy’s nature, etc. It is very tough these days to get married, but more importantly, TO STAY MARRIED.

Most people do not realize that it is JUST AS HARD to find proposals for some guys, especially if they are not perfect.

I have been trying to help a relative of mine for the last few years who is now 30 years old and is Autistic / communication disorder. He was diagnosed as mildly autistic. He does not have any physical disabilities. He does not have any genetic problems. He does not have any health concerns. Masha Allah he has excellent parents and family. He is a simple and honest guy. He had an excellent life growing up and was always very healthy and happy. May Allah protect his happiness and health Aameen.

He is handsome, very fair, good looking. He has a very good nature, he is nice, and wouldn’t hurt anyone. He does not have a temper. In fact, he has a very forgiving and loving nature, which you don’t see in many people. He can take care of himself on a day-to-day basis. He is liberal, not chauvinist or narrow-minded. He is open minded. He does not drink or smoke. He has never had any problems with the law.

I’ll admit that he is young for his age (behind) so his wife will be making most of the decisions. But he DOES want to get married and have a family, and I think he can make someone very happy. I honestly think a girl would be lucky to have a husband like him, even though he has Autism. I think he would be an awesome husband to someone because he has such a sweet and kind nature. If you want to get married and live a peaceful life with someone, DRAMA FREE, then this is a good proposal. He is also from a good family and has a good caste, if that makes any difference to anyone.

The boy and family do not have any demands, only that the girl is Sunni Muslim and Pakistani background. The boy does not require the girl to work after marriage either, if she does not want to.

The family has been looking in Pakistan, Middle East, Canada, USA, UK, but have not found a proposal yet.

They are telling the truth about his disorder so maybe that’s why they are having a hard time??? When people hear that he has Autism, they do not even want to see him. People are so closed-minded. If you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to get married to a Pakistani-Muslim and you don’t have any other proposals, then why not at least consider this? There are a lot of people out there who seem “normal”, but when you live with them, you realize that they are not really normal after-all… or they are unkind. And that is why most divorces are happening these days – the guy usually has a bad nature and the poor girl can’t handle it.

Anyway this is a serious post and if anyone wants to consider this proposal then send me a private message. Or if you know anyone in Pakistan, Karachi, Lahore, Islamabad, or abroad, then let me know. The boy is Canadian-born and will be living in Ontario, Canada after marriage.

I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for proposals. I want to help this person, so please contact me.

Thanks for your time.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

I hope to receive a positive reply.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Would they consider a girl with a similar mild disorder or health problem? If so I'd assume it wouldn't be difficult to find a girl..

Btw you should post this in the rishta thread in the wedding section..

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

why would they consider a girl with "similar mild disorder or health problem"?

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I wish you a very good luck Inshallah, but with due respect, it might appear a little offensive to all the girls who are struggling to find a suitable match, to compare their situation with that of a person who is having difficulties because of mental health challenges (even if minor challenges).
Having said that, I recently met a very sweet, fully capable girl who is married to such a person, and has two healthy boys. Unfortunately, it seemed (though the girl never said so) that it was a marriage of convenience. The girl belonged to a very financially struggling family of Pakistan, and guy was in USA with his parents. She moved to USA after marriage, and started working, supporting her family back home. Fortunately, her in laws are very loving and supportive, so the girl is happy.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

,^^I’m not sure what your problem is but if you’re trying to bait as you have done in other threads I’m not going to get into a petty argument about divorcees with you :rolleyes:

OP specifically said the guy’s family is having problems finding someone so I’ve asked IF they’d consider a girl in a similar situation, not that they have to or that they shouldn’t look at others as well..

I know of a couple of families like this who’ve gone back to Pakistan to find a bride as well..

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

^ i just asked a “simple” question, i dont know why are you getting offended?

:rolleyes:

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

So people should settle down with anyone when they get a hard time finding a good rishta … thats what you are trying to say?

Its not about labeling yourself with marriage …

@ bold part
WHY? why go to pakistan … why not anywhere else?

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Well…you know…the people living in west are so much better…and if they happen to have a disablity/trouble and are not good enough for other western people…they can go to pakistan and import easily… afterall pakistan is sorts of a landa bazaar… :rolleyes:

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Yes, they would consider someone with a similar problem, different problem, or health problem. But the concern is you can't sponsor someone with a health concern or disability - the case will be denied by the Canadian government. But they could consider something like that in Canada. They have been trying that route through rishta aunties in Canada but did not find anything yet.

This was also posted in the rishta section of gupshup but no replies.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

I can understand if this is offensive for those girls who are struggling to find the right rishta. I don't mean to be offensive but I have to get my point across. I just wanted to post this publicly to give someone a chance to contact me.

Some people think that there is a certain time/age for a girl to be married. And some think that it is better to be married than not to be married at all. Of course other people prefer to stay single, or wait for the right guy. That's up to the girl.

If there is ONE GIRL who would consider a proposal like this, she should contact me.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

I am trying to say, if someone wants to get married, consider this proposal. It's up to the individual person. For some people, marriage is one of their top priorities/ambitions.

And the family is not just looking in Pakistan, they are looking anywhere in the world. Of course it is easier for them to settle their son in Canada. But they have not found the proposal yet.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Of course it’s up to the indivivual.. No-one has said only marry in Pakistan or wherever else.. Just keep all options open :k: Am sure that guy will find a girl who is right for him..

You mentioned he’s very good-natured.. Maybe it’s just that people need to get to know him?

Some posters on here have a tendency to become obsessive and argumentative.. best just ignored..

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

In the real world women with disabilities have it much easier in dating and finding relationships than men with the same disability.

For instance: an autistic woman can find relationships much more easily than an autistic man
A midget female can find relationships much more easily an a midget guy
A deaf/dumb woman can find relationships much more easily than a deaf/dumb man.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

I never thought of it that way but you're right.

Anyway the boy is sincere and the family is sincere too, so i'A something positive will happen for them.

I forgot to mention they do not have any objections to divorced proposals or anything of that nature.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

You never mentioned how the guy supports himself.
Committing to start a relationship with a person with disabilities is not as easy as you are making it sound. Any person going into such relationship needs to make sure they have some education on how to handle and live with a person with autism or their first night can be their worst nightmare. Yes, it is good that they can sponsor the spouse but they should make sure that both the guy and girl have multiple opportunity to interact with each other, both the guy and girl should be comfortable going into this commitment. Committing to such a marriage and stay0ing married would require lot of hard work and lot of compromise for the spouse.
Yes, he might be all nice and shareef but he has a mental condition and which requires lot of commitment from the spouse. I hope he will not get married just for the sake of getting married.

And yes, comparing him with girls who don't have any abnormalities is kind of offensive.

Last but not least, take him to social events and help him socialize with young single women.

I hope and pray that he finds a good match and can live a happy married life. Ameen

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

I thought I mentioned it but he is working and can support a spouse.

I was just trying to point out that it is not only hard for women to find proposals... it is hard for men too. And of course this situation is even more difficult.

I know that it is hard to accept something like this, but what bothers me is that people don't even want to see the person when they hear of the condition. If the parents didn't think the person was capable to be married and make a "normal" girl happy, they wouldn't even be looking.

After knowing the person, I think he can lead a happy life and be in a successful relationship.

A proposal is a proposal. It may not be at your standard, but you shouldn't get offended, just decline. All those normal people out there shouldn't be so sensitive. They should be grateful they are normal.

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Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Maybe they are having a hard time Bc they are being honest. In the west it's harder and never wise to hide disabilities. Good luck to him. May Allah (Swt) help him and his family.

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Re: Difficulty finding proposal for MALE with disorder!!!

Star, I'm not sure whether you've posted this and contacted guppies (yes, I was contacted for this proposal) to prove a point, or to really genuinely look for a girl for this guy. If you're just proving a point, you're exploiting this poor guy, and I'd implore you to stop.