Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
the bEst poliCY is the BANDA.... talk wid ur Man.. or atleast tell him ur choices so he can fwd ur thughts as his ownS.
the bEst poliCY is the BANDA.... talk wid ur Man.. or atleast tell him ur choices so he can fwd ur thughts as his ownS.
lol! exact-a-mando!;)
^ My MIL-to-be drags me everywhere with her! Even when it was 42 degree's outside =( Alhamdulilah she has great taste to begin with, but what's better is she lets me pick whatever I want ;) not to mention lunch and frequent juice breaks!
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
AS you're going about negotiating all the clothes and jewelry and such, please remember not to let small things ruin what is a very blessed occasion and one that is about something much larger for the rest of your life. Keep it in perspective. And if you have to give a little and they have to give a little to become one family, so be it.
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
My shaadi and valima outfit came from my MIL. She has amazing taste , even better than my taste ( I had seen that from the other gifts she gave me before and after the engagement), so I was happy that she did both the outfits.
I decided to send her some pics to give her an idea , and thats when I came across gushup forums. All the pictures and info on this forum greatly helped me. It all turned out ot be awesome. My husbands aunt who owns a boutique did all my outfits, but everythis reflected me, which was the best part.
my MIL is super awesome and has good taste, alhamdulillah :). she let me pick out my own outfits and jewelry for the nikkah. since she's based in lahore and will be doing the shaadi/valima shopping there, she has asked me to send her my choice of colors, kaam, jewelry, etc. she begged me to come to lahore for a week and just shop with her, but i can't afford to take time off from work right now :(. buuuut thanks to gupshup...i've found some amazing pictures of outfits and jewelry that i've sent her and she's working on it :). Inshallah, i hope all goes well! exactly 6 months and 3 days to go...
AS you're going about negotiating all the clothes and jewelry and such, please remember not to let small things ruin what is a very blessed occasion and one that is about something much larger for the rest of your life. Keep it in perspective. And if you have to give a little and they have to give a little to become one family, so be it.
Thats very true sahar. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the craziness of a wedding, we can easily forget whats truly important at the end of the day.
I'll be sure to remember that.
Thanks:)
my MIL is super awesome and has good taste, alhamdulillah :). she let me pick out my own outfits and jewelry for the nikkah. since she's based in lahore and will be doing the shaadi/valima shopping there, she has asked me to send her my choice of colors, kaam, jewelry, etc. she begged me to come to lahore for a week and just shop with her, but i can't afford to take time off from work right now :(. buuuut thanks to gupshup...i've found some amazing pictures of outfits and jewelry that i've sent her and she's working on it :). Inshallah, i hope all goes well! exactly 6 months and 3 days to go...
Damn girl! that sounds great!
I hope your day is just as perfect as you've always imagined:)
^ My MIL-to-be drags me everywhere with her! Even when it was 42 degree's outside =( Alhamdulilah she has great taste to begin with, but what's better is she lets me pick whatever I want ;) not to mention lunch and frequent juice breaks!
lol! thats awesome! haha :p
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
My nikkah was just a couple of weeks ago and when we started preparing for it back in January, my mil said, I have to get your jora, etc and I said, no that's not a problem, I can get it made also. She then asked me to get whatever I wanted and tell her the costs. Somewhere in the middle, she asked me if I wanted to send the order to a real designer and I did. That was the most input she had in my dress and took care of the cost. Rest, she totally left it upto me, even for jewelry, purse, shoes, she sent me a check and I bought whatever I needed. Even for the gifts such as dresses, shoes, etc that the guy's side brings for the bride, she told me to pick my designs and get it made anywhere I wanted. On the actual day, she was REALLY happy when she saw the outfit etc so now for rukhsati, it will be the same way with me picking everything out inshallah :D
My nikkah was just a couple of weeks ago and when we started preparing for it back in January, my mil said, I have to get your jora, etc and I said, no that's not a problem, I can get it made also. She then asked me to get whatever I wanted and tell her the costs. Somewhere in the middle, she asked me if I wanted to send the order to a real designer and I did. That was the most input she had in my dress and took care of the cost. Rest, she totally left it upto me, even for jewelry, purse, shoes, she sent me a check and I bought whatever I needed. Even for the gifts such as dresses, shoes, etc that the guy's side brings for the bride, she told me to pick my designs and get it made anywhere I wanted. On the actual day, she was REALLY happy when she saw the outfit etc so now for rukhsati, it will be the same way with me picking everything out inshallah :D
Thats very cool... I am beginning to get a feeling things are looking good in pakistan with MILs! Yayyyy!
I cant wait to come to Pakistan.. I miss it... havent been back in over 6 years :(
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
That was here in U.S, not Pakistan. From what I hear, things are still a bit 'old style' there.. depends on the people, really.
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
i m getting married only 12 days left.... hmmm i dont have really good memories abt the shadi preparation from my inlaws :( i m very very picky abt the clothes n agar meri pasand k kapray na hun tu mood tu off hota hi hai meray ansoo nikal atay hein :( n when my SIL asked me tell me what color u want for the walima i was totaly shocked.. i was ike WHAT? i'm not going to buy the dress???? i mean i was so shocked that i cldn't even tell her the color... n then i controled n controlled n when my SIL left, i started crying :( i know its bad but i cldnt control..... then i aske dmy fiance to plz plz do something, he talked to his sister then then THANK GOD we ( i,my mom,my sister, my MIL, my SIL) went together for the walima dress :) n its a beautiful one now :) Alhamduillah
abt the other thingss, the bari dresses,bridal jewellary etc etc (even makeup) i've no idea how they r, n the worst part is, i and my SIL,MIL have completely different choice :( my mom kept telling them that i am very very choosy BUT they did what they want :) ab tu dekh ker hi pata challay ga hehe aur meri ammi her waqat mujhay samjha rahi hoti hein k agar inlaws ki bari k kapray na bhi pasand aey tu bhi ik bar pehan zaroor lena aur apni saas ka dil rakh lena etc etc ect :S
n whoever started this thread, started it late, warna sab k experiences perh perh ker mein bhi apnay banday ko hi kehti k meri pasand say lo sab kuch :( o man too late.... everything is almost ready now :) hmm.... but once i said to my fiance that i want the preparations of my choice but i think he cldn't manage it :(
but the best thing is he said yaar tum meray saath ho gi tu jo merzi ker lena :) hehehe shukar hai Allah ka..... now i hope he stays like this amin amin aminnnnn
So go n ask for the walima lehnga, DONT HESITATE... u might have a different choice, aur Allah khair karay shadi tu sirf ik bar hi honi hai iss liay GO FOR UR CHOICE.... :)
My nikkah was just a couple of weeks ago and when we started preparing for it back in January, my mil said, I have to get your jora, etc and I said, no that's not a problem, I can get it made also. She then asked me to get whatever I wanted and tell her the costs. Somewhere in the middle, she asked me if I wanted to send the order to a real designer and I did. That was the most input she had in my dress and took care of the cost. Rest, she totally left it upto me, even for jewelry, purse, shoes, she sent me a check and I bought whatever I needed. Even for the gifts such as dresses, shoes, etc that the guy's side brings for the bride, she told me to pick my designs and get it made anywhere I wanted. On the actual day, she was REALLY happy when she saw the outfit etc so now for rukhsati, it will be the same way with me picking everything out inshallah :D
cool mashAllah.... lucky lucky gooseeee
i'm jealous :) Good Luck
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
I think the best solution is to do the wedding shopping together so both families have something to input (if they want). Some inlaw families actually really care about the whole "picking walima dress" thing and some dont. When we were doing my bhabi's wedding shopping, my mum let her get her choice of things, because she is the one whoz gonna wear and use them after all. Which I think is of course the best thing to do as well ...
However I've seen situations (among friends families) where the girls really go overboard with the wedding shopping. Especially when they are "making" their bari, they suddenly must **have 50 different colors of lipsticks and every suit needs their own pair of shoes .. and lets not forget the suit size must be around 50-100 suits as well .. I think it is over the top**. And it actually creates some tension between the MIL and DIL at this moment, because MIL doesnt wanna stop the girl, kyunke log kya kehenga bla bla ... So your wedding shopping, but do it sensibly .. no need for a big wastage .. it is not like you will never do shopping again or that fashion wont change anymore :p
I chosed everything myself from bridal outfit's to jewellery :-) She said it's you who's going to wear it so better to chose something you like.
Same for me!
The valilmay ka dress comes from the guy's side and I was wondering, does the mother-in-law just ask you what you want? I mean I am very picky so I dont want to be disappointed. Isn't it just better she asks me or she and I just go shopping together so we can both agree on what we get?
this is kinda tricky....depends on ur mo in law.....mine said whatever you want you can pick it yourself and we can transfer funds into your account for everything you buy on our behalf.......
i was engaged before once and it broke and his family didnt ask and just shipped a burnt orange lehnga from the 80's....
i think most mother in laws should ask and let you buy it or at the very least at least ask what colors you like and maybe you can send them samples of what kind of a lehnga/embroidery you prefer.....
also...one last thing. if you have a sis in law.....she may be a good source. my sis in law offered to pick it out for me from hsy, she's got great taste....so i said thats fine even though i had the option to go and pick one myself.....
just be open about what you want to wear.......hopefully they'll let you choose :)
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
LOL i wanna c that burnt orange one from the 80s.. :D
LOL i wanna c that burnt orange one from the 80s.. :D
lol, me 2!:p