Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

[Enigmatic]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

it’s obviously up to the couple to decide whether or not do they want to have children and also as to when … but am pretty sure once the woman’s biological clock would be running out of time and the man’s hair start graying a bit more, they might then change their mind !

Kids are a full time tough job ..but they come with buckets of little happy and funny moments

[Exodus]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Theorist

No wonder our Pakzameen cannot uphold the load of 170 million Muslim baby makers. I see where this mentality comes from. I could argue how having kids is actually selfish but then again, I can’t argue with someone whose mentality is defined by her religion.

If a country seems to be holding down the most obese people on earth just fine, what makes you think Pakistan cant stand the average?

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Exodus

If a country seems to be holding down the most obese people on earth just fine, what makes you think Pakistan cant stand the average?

That wasn’t the point of my post but since you asked here’s how:

US population density=313,232,044 people/3,718,691 sq mile= **84.2 people/sq mile

Pakistan Population density**= 187,342,721 people/310,401 sq mile= **603.55 people/sq mile

So even if I tripple the number of people (trippled the weight of 84 people per square feet) living in the United States will not equal to 604 people per square mile. So there…

Source: http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004379.html**

[hareem01]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

errr but that’s because Pakistan is much smaller than US in size.

[Jolie]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Jolie

Yes I know two.

Okay when I said that, I actually meant couples who are happy with nature’s decision. Not that they’re baby haters or anything. Thought I should mention that.

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@hareem01

errr but that’s because Pakistan is much smaller than US in size.

Which is exactly why this “Muslim power in numbers” mentality is dangerous for Pakistan’s residents. 603 people per square mile is A LOT but still beats 2200 people per square mile in Bangladesh.

[TLK]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

An off topic but Muslim power is not going to come from quantity, but quality. Even Islam’s philosophy is quality over quantity in this matter. This is exactly the reason why Tablighi Jamat goes to existing Muslims and try to bring them back to masjids and prayers, than to approach non-Muslims (I know this is a separate topic)

[hareem01]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@hareem01

I know one couple, the guy doesn’t mind but the wife is strict on this issue.

just found out through fb they have a baby girl now.

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@TLK

An off topic but Muslim power is not going to come from quantity, but quality. Even Islam’s philosophy is quality over quantity in this matter. This is exactly the reason why Tablighi Jamat goes to existing Muslims and try to bring them back to masjids and prayers, than to approach non-Muslims (I know this is a separate topic)

Absolutely! There’s no way Islam is going to win many hearts over by displaying how disorganized their own countries are.

[Sara516]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Disney_Princess

Because Islam encourages having children, and people act like it’s such a big burden. I’m not saying raising children is easy, I’m pretty sure it isn’t. But Allah says he will provide, and he will. I just think people are maybe neglecting an Islamic obligation.

And also, Allah says “Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah is the highest Reward.” (At Taghabun 64:15) - so the argument that there is evil in the world, blah blah blah is a load of baloney.

No its not an obligation, reading namaz, fasting, going for hajj, those are obligations, yes there are blessings if someone has a child, but if someone doesn’t…doesn’t mean they’re not fulfilling their religious obligations.

and it’s pretty messed up to give badduas to someone who’s perfectly content and happy in their decisions, this too coming from ‘adults’…shabash.

[Amoureux_de_la_vie]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Theorist

No, i don’t know a single desi couple that doesn’t want kids. I and my husband do not want kids and don’t see if we would ever change our mind. It’s too big of a responsibility and we are so turned off by the idea of kids running around, pooping & crying, and changing their diapers and…well you get the picture.

I don’t know how old you are, but you may want to freeze eggs, to be safe. It is very expensive though.

I went through the entire process of figuring out if I want kids or not and for what reason. Now, even though I think having kids is selfish, I think it’s such a human thing that I am going to accept this selfish desire of mine (I have no better reasoning for that). I don’t positively, actively “want” kids as of right now, but I know 10-20 years down the road, my life would feel empty without kids.

[cutefifa]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t want kids.

But its all about personal choices… they don’t know what they are missing

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Amoureux_de_la_vie

I don’t know how old you are, but you may want to freeze eggs, to be safe. It is very expensive though.

I went through the entire process of figuring out if I want kids or not and for what reason. Now, even though I think having kids is selfish, I think it’s such a human thing that I am going to accept this selfish desire of mine (I have no better reasoning for that). I don’t positively, actively “want” kids as of right now, but** I know 10-20 years down the road, my life would feel empty without kids**.

That’s true! That thought does cross my mind but then again, I can always adopt.

[TLK]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

Waiting for 10 years is ok if you married young. Waiting for 20 years to have/adopt kid is unfair to the kid. Kid would literally have bhooRay maan baap when he/she is just a toddler. The value that younger maan/baap can add in kids life, old aged parents cannot. Plus think of the possible life span. Chances are very good that even before that kid is ready to take charge of his/her life, at least one parent is already gone. Even now, that thought scares me and I pray to Allah for a long life of my kids and even of my wife and mine so we can be with our kids till they need us.

[Disney_Princess]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Sara516

No its not an obligation, reading namaz, fasting, going for hajj, those are obligations, yes there are blessings if someone has a child, but if someone doesn’t…doesn’t mean they’re not fulfilling their religious obligations.

and it’s pretty messed up to give badduas to someone who’s perfectly content and happy in their decisions, this too coming from ‘adults’…shabash.

Sorry, maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my post. I was trying to say it’s a quasi type of obligation - an expected obligation - but if you don’t fulfill it, it’s not going to be punishable.

And as for bad duas…I don’t remember giving any to anyone (if you are refering to me, that is).

Anyways, to each their own. We all have different thoughts and opinions, although it is good to have a healthy debate on such issues.

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

^ TLK you are assuming I am going to adopt an infant. If I do adopt when i am in my late 30s or 40s, my goal would be to adopt an older child from a not so privileged background..

We don’t want children right now but like others have said, this could change in a few years down the road. We have our nieces to play with.

[queer]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

on one hand people are saying its selfish not to have kids. and soon after they add, these people are missing out on something awesome. really… how can you have it both ways now?

[TLK]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

Theorist, its hard for the older adopted child to develop a strong child/parent bond with the parents. For an infant, it comes naturally.

[Sara516]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@Disney_Princess

And as for bad duas…I don’t remember giving any to anyone (if you are refering to me, that is).

Exactly…its not punishable.

and no I wasn’t referring to you.

[Theorist]

Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

@TLK

Theorist, its hard for the older adopted child to develop a strong child/parent bond with the parents. For an infant, it comes naturally.

That may be true but I don’t find it necessary or difficult to accept. I guess I just do not understand the importance of it. We will have to wait for the day I become a mother myself. That may take a few years…