Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I was not trying to convince you. I was just sharing the possible cons. Off course whatever decision you are going to make is going to be a blessed one for your family.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

Me and the girlfriend don't plan to have kids after we get married. I'm really glad I met somebody like her that matches my preference on this issue.

We both love kids, they are awesome.. but too much responsibility overall that we don't want to handle.. to each his own of course..

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

sometimes evolution works in mysterious ways. :)

jk jk

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

^ I don't get this one.. explaino zara!

OK nevermind, i get it now.. :D I agree..evolution and its mysterious ways.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I know of an older couple who is filthy rich but has no kids. I feel bad for them cause they worked so hard all their lives to achieve that wealth but now they have no one to pass it to. If not for anything but for this I wanted to have kids, that my kids give me reason and justification to grow, otherwise really how much does my wife and I need to live a decent life. The answer is, probably half of what I make. To me, my life would have very little purpose if I am not working for others whom I love.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

means vs. ends. you work hard to make money to keep kids happy. or do you have kids to give the money you make to?

as for the filthy rich couple, recommend me to pass on their wealth. i'm filthy.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

Both. you cant remove one from the other. Second is the reason why many people want to have sons, so they can pass their wealth to someone of their own family.

and I totally agree with the last part of your second line ..

j/k j/k

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

^:rotfl:

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

hain.. daughters arent from their own family? :O

i really dont understand this passing on wealth bit. one of the most common regrets of dying people is that they worked too hard to make money and didnt spent enough time with family.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I should've said "in older days and backward cultures, one reason that people wanted son is ...". Yes daughters are family too but they marry into another family (I know this is a stupid mindset but all the waderas and thakurs of our culture still carry that)

There should be a balance between how much you work and how much time you spend. Yes when I am dying, that maybe my regret that I did not spend enough time but I dont want it to be my wife fear that I am not leaving them with enough finances to continue a good life.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

i know what you are saying, but there is a difference between life insurance and inheritance here.

to go back to the idea of leaving behind wealth for someone, one can argue leaving behind a trust fund of some noble cause might in fact have your name and memory live on a lot longer than leaving it to kids. i think these preferences are mostly very subjective, and none have more merit than the other to an dispassionate outsider.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I must admit queer that I am not such a noble person. My motivation to excel comes from the possibility of financial security for my kids and wife than for the whole world out there. As much as I love to help community, I want my family to have their needs (and to some extent, luxuries) taken care of before I do charity. I know this may sound selfish but I believe that my first responsibilty is towards the people that I brought to this world (my kids).

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

you just dont want to contribute to the queer hunger relief fund, i get it. -_-

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

you mean queer's hunger relief fund, right?

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

There are awesome parents everywhere.. but I've seen way too many desi parents (and many others from other cultures) whose attitude towards kids is those of an investment.. "budhappe ka sahara"... know what I mean? they act as if the kids owe them something.. and have a liability towards them.. till they are alive.

No generalizations of course. I've seen some wonderful selfless parents too.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

The only one that comes to mind is Marina Khan. Though I don't know if she and her husband chose not to have kids or if she just couldn't have them by the time she married him.

I have heard some people say that they don't want to bring kids into such a cruel world. A colleague...Muslim....got married in her late 20s and had decided that she didn't want kids for this very reason....but then changed her mind and had two boys.

I'm not going to raising the kids or paying their bills.....so it doesn't bother me if a desi couple doesnt want to have kids. To each his own. It can be argued that it won't be healthy for a kid to be raised by parents who are not interested in being parents. It could even be argued that some people who initially did not want kids....soften up and change after having a baby...and becomd devoted parents. It could even be argued that life is from Allah....and if you're meant to have kids...you'll have them even if you don't want to. Again, to each his own.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I said I can't stand kids. And I can't. How is that going overboard? Ya, I love my little cousins and all, but I'd rather love them from a distance lol :p

On your last point, thank you and In Shaa ALLAH! :)

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Babies, babies everywhere in my feet and in my hair!

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

oh okay...i thought you were that sort of person who can't stand any kids.

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Re: Desi couples that do not want kids - EVER

I think that's coz of low population density in Balochistan...