Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
thank u...thats what i meant
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
Just do whateva is right for you. Thats what i say!
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
Im not saying that this always happens but it can happen if u dont put in an effort and/or excitment into a marriage....things get old and people end up showing lack of interest....people get busy with other things such a children work etc that they forget to spend time with each other etc....
this is why so many people end up having a loveless marriage ..they dont want to put in any work into the relationship.
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
what makes u think that was a love marriage? just because she proposed doesnt make that a love marriage. anyone can propose to someone....but does that mean they are in love with them? you can propose to someone based on basic characteristics u might find appealing...u dont have to love the person....u might just have a hunch that they will make a great spouse.
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
He was her employee..... the fact that she proposed by sending one of her servants to talk to him suggests that they didn't go through the courting process at all or talk much to each other directly. If they were in love would she not have spoken to him in person?
In other words, it seems to me that it was an arranged marriage. Arranged by her.
yep :)
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
Yup - it happens. One of my family friends in London had a love marriage that fell apart within 4 years. His wife asked him for a divorce in the end and he couldn’t talk her out of it.
Everything seemed to be going so well for them… he was a prosperous young doctor, they’d been going out for years and were head over heels, they were so happy when they got married… then it very quickly turned sour and ended.
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
Theres not that much difference really, as long as you get to know the person before you marry them, I dont mean everything but general stuff. If on the other hand you don’t even know the person that your going to marry then all I can say is good luck, some are ok and some aren’t.
My oldest sis had arranged marrige and she very happy, but I know others who have had it and never liked the person at all and cant stand to be near them. So I draw the conclusion that you should know the person before you marry them, whether it be arranged or love. Personaly I’d go for lurrrrv:wub:
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
u guys r scaring me 
emm runs outta this thread*
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
who's responsible for changing circumstances???
IF my views, my likes or dislike, if my iman, my faith, things that I admire and love are only circumstantial then, I am only a selfish person... so, perhaps people 'move on' due to such behaviors :)
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
good…then my job here is done 
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
In my opinion u should know the person before its better.Like u should know the basic information what he does ,especially what kind of friends he have,what's his qualification and little small things.but its not necessary u have spent time with him.I can surely say that after marriage life is different when responsibilities come.I think either it is love or arrange both husband and wife have to compromise on certain things and by the time pass love grows stronger.
Hazrat KHADIJA(r.a.) proposed HAZRAT MOHAMAAD(p.b.u.h.) because she only knew him by his habits and that is enough for a marriage,i think so.Girl has a right to ask whom she is marrying. annkhein band ker ke to koii nahi shai kare gaa naa. but exploring things later is more fun. and i believe ke jis ALLAH ne joriyaan banaai hain woh diloon mein mohabbat bhi peida kerta hai .
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
The problem with arranged marriage is that with the guarantee of a mate there's no need for a flabby couch-potato to get up and make himself attractive (and vice versa, although it usually benefits men).
It's also very unflattering to women. Men should have to SEEK women by courting them. That's what romance is all about! Women want to be chased by a number of men, and no pleasure is more sublime for a woman that to have a number of men fight with each other for her hand. With arranged marriage, the spontaneity and gracefulness of seduction and romance disappears; it becomes a contrived affair managed by parents and other older people.
Seduction is all about suggestion and indirection, i.e. never revealing your plans and intentions. That is why it's exciting for the woman who is being seduced. In arranged marriage on the other hand, the woman knows that the man is there for marriage: this knowledge on her part drains the exercise of all pleasure. Woe unto those who give up the excitement and challenge of romance for the banal comforts of parent-arranged nuptials!
I am not really sure if you are realizing the implications of what you want. You are just looking at one side of the picture. How about the other side?
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
So technically the way you see it is that regardless of how you marry, you are bound to lose interest..
Just in an arranged marriage the period of losing interest will be a bit later since they’ve just started to know each other
Next time support your argument with a more solid point than the above.
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
I had an arranged marriage and am loving every moment and second of it :halo: (okay not every moment/second but I am happy)
it has its ups and downs.
Its a risky option I agree..
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
some of idiots in tender age think they are smarter than their parents
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
In fact I think arranged marriages work better than love marriages, all the Desis I know who have had arranged marriages are happy, content and in love whilst all my white friends (whose parents have had love marriages) come from broken homes and are living with single mums or mum and step dad, I also know a few goray in their 20s who suddenly decided to break up just because "they don't love each other anymore" without any care for their 4-5 yr old children.
Don't follow white mans culture, they have horrible, cold, miserable, selfish and depressed lifestyles, we're Asian for f.. sake.
i agree on that...50/50
all the desis i no also have had a succesul arranged marraige...well when u been togdr 25 yrs ..thas successful to me...many of my frends liv wid only there father...mother or just a foster parent..itskidna sik..how cud u torture ur own kids like that...
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
and next time read my previous posts more carefully before commenting on it…i said it CAN…not that it will! in this post i was telling EMM ( NOT YOU) why it CAN happen simply cuz she asked me!! ive made it quite clear in above posts that this doesnt happen in every marriage…
once again READ before commenting..and if you cant talk to me without rolling ur eyes (since u do that to most of my posts)…dont reply!
kthanxbye
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
once again READ before commenting..and if you cant talk to me without rolling ur eyes (since u do that to most of my posts)....dont reply! kthanxbye
Now now AngelEyes, this is an open forum and all are welcome to read and comment on posts. Use PMs for private comments. Scrutiny and criticism of your views in an open forum are part of the territory, you know that.
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
yea i dont mind criticism when its within context…
and hush up! 
Re: Deleterious effects of arranged marriage
Good old days, when bride and groom would see each other for the first time on wedding night. Thats what is excitement and thrill.
My father says that his on his wedding night, seeing his wife, came out and started cursing his mother- "what have u brought me".