Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Lifestyle Relationships
101

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

It's simple. Islam encourages marrying people of other tribes - plenty of evidence for that. So why not be open? Islam gets chucked out the window when it comes to anything that goes against our tribal pride and child bride cousins is one of those prided traditions from many families in Pakistan and India.

Amongst people abroad this is a dying trend and it should be.

102

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Doctors advice to avoid cousin marriage if there is an un curable disease in family.

e.g thelisemia or eyes un curable problem etc.

So yes it varies from case to case.

Some people are too strict about getting married outside family which is also wrong.

103

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

I think if growing up your were super duper close (like brothers and sisters) then of course that's kind of horrible. But if you were raised away from each other to the extent that you are practically strangers then i don't think there's anything wrong with that provided the two people are compatible and get along really well etc.

Also, i know a lot of marriages like this and Allhumdulilla the kids are fine so i guess it really is personal preference.

104

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

and there you have it folks...... from cousin marriage, to forced marriage, to child marriage........ lets wait for the next connection........

105

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Marriage amongst cousins, like the multiple wives matter, is something that may have been a necessity in the past, hundreds and hundreds of years ago in tribal Arabia, but not really relevant or socially acceptable now.

Like mullets, while marriages amongst cousins existed at one point, no one now admits to knowing anyone who had one.

There is no shortage of fish in the sea. Seriously, let's move forward, people.

106

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Carving a pumpkin at Halloween or letting kids dress up → kaffir (or devil worshipper lol)

107

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

If Allah SWT allows it, who are we to go against it. :hypo::slight_smile:

108

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Allah allows floods, does that mean you won’t try to help someone if you see them drowning or try to save yourself?

Further, Allah allows free will.

109

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

That is the lamest comparison I have ever heard.

Yes, Allah swt allows free will, so if you don't want it then don't do it. And let others do it if they want to.
Simple.

110

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Sorry, I think continuing to cling on to rituals that are not historically relevant anymore and scientifically frowned upon is lame. I also said in a previous post: Let the women who want to put up with such a thing marry men like that and leave the good ones for the rest of us.

111

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Marriage is a personal choice thus my position is neutral. Totally dependent on the two individuals involved.

If it works for you, fantastic, if not then look elsewhere.

112

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

You don't decide what is historically relevant or socially acceptable.

113

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Actually, I do. So do you. We all do. You decide for yourself, I decide for me. Eventually, things evolve when enough people start thinking a certain way, things change. That is how societal values are formed, and certain practices are frowned upon.

The Quran says a man may beat his wife gently. Do you think that is okay? Or do you think some people got together, over time, and decided that it wasn't?

I'm not picking on you or your belief system. I am just not someone who takes scripture as literally. Works for me.

114

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

I disagree, respectfully. A 60 year old may think it okay to marry a 12 year old. Still happens. Religion allows it. Doesn't mean society can't stand up and say that it isn't acceptable.

115

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Clearly you mistook my view, my statement was based on a generic position.

Lets not get into specifics.

116

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

We can't change what is allowed or prohibited by religion.

If I decide that something that is prohibited in Islam will be acceptable for me from now on (because I think its historically irrelevant), and I find enough noobs who share the same belief, and we manage to change things then that doesnt make it right.

And again, what does this example from the Quran has to do with cousin marriages?
As far as I know Prophet Muhammad (saw) himself taught men to be gentle, caring and not to be harsh towards their wives. Not some random people who are born hundred of years later but think they know it better.

Marrying your cousin is allowed. Simple. If you think it's outdated or lame, then it doesn't actually make it outdated and lame.

117

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

JustSilly,

How can you so confidently say that cousin marriages are not historically relevant? The US is the only western country that does not allow cousin marriage and even then it is allowed in about half of the states. It's legal in Canada, Europe, Mexico and other parts of the world. Let's allot some numbers to your scientific frowning upon, eh? According to the National Society of Genetic Councilors, cousin couples have only a 4-7% chance of having kids with birth defects from a baseline of 3-4 % risk in non-cousin couples. It's not a dramatic leap and neither type of couples/marriage comes with a 100% guarantee. As far as religion is concerned, none of the holy books in three monotheistic religions prohibit cousin marriages. Islam encourages marrying outside of the family, but it does not prohibit cousin marriages. If you personally don't prefer such a marriage for yourself, then so be it. But don't look at those who do with an attitude of contempt/scorn especially one that stems from ignorance.

118

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

My point is just because scripture or hadeeth allows it, doesn't make it okay now. If I follow your logic then because scripture allows the beating of a wife then we shouldn't question that either...

Lol. Very clever with my name change. Did you come up with that all by yourself?

Historically relevant. As in history. Past. Marriages amongst cousins was permitted at a time when there was a very small population of muslims. This is no longer a necessity.

Perhaps if we started teaching our sons that their cousins and nieces are sisters and daughters and not pieces of meat, things would progress in our region of the world.

Furthermore, the failure of scripture to prohibit something isn't a green light to proceed. If that was the case then let's just allow men to marry goats. Lol.

As to the scorn you are referencing, please reread my post and the post before it. I was called lame and my response was a tongue in cheek response in kind. No need to get your velvet in a knot.

Finally, people are free to believe what they chose. I believe it is barbaric. You think it is okay. No need to pick a fight, I am only stating my position.

119

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

Le sigh…if only I had come up with that all on my own. Alas the quality of the content of your post provided me with the inspiration for that clever lil’ word play on your username, so I cannot take all the credit for it. :hehe:

Cousin marriages are currently taking place in the world and time period that you live in, so they are certainly not a thing of the past. You’re treating them like they’re obsolete when that is not the case. You’d sound more credible if you were talking about dinosaurs, because their extinction can be proven both tangibly and by merely taking a look at the world around you. I’m sorry but a certain mind-set alone…no matter how popular it may be in one culture/part of the world…is not sufficient to render something historically irrelevant.

So, the only reason for one to get married to their cousin is a limited population? I know that some people pursue cousin marriages because they want to keep the wealth/inheritance in the family, for political reasons, or because they feel greater emotional security with family as opposed to taking a risk with someone they don’t know. However, there are many many people who fall in love with their cousins. There is a US based website called cousincouples.com and many of its members are goray and non-Muslim folks who are attracted to/in love with their cousins. There is no shortage of fish in the sea for them. What’s barbaric is that they have to hide their feelings, their relationships, their marriages, and endure the ostracism from family members and friends who hold the same “ignorant” views as you …despite the fact that the Bible does not prohibit it…despite the fact there’s only a slight risk of producing children with deformities compared to non-cousin couples as per the National Genetic Council, and also …despite there being many examples of famous people in Western history who were married to their cousins such as Einstein, Darwin, President Franklin Roosevelt, Edgar Allen Poe, among others. Yes, that’s barbaric.

Seems people in the West don’t hesitate to strip down on stage and turn twerking and other forms of blatant shamelessness into a trend that is even lauded by some…but cousin marriages make them queasy and are mocked in western pop-culture??? It is funny/ludicrous if you reflect over it. And…NO…I am not saying that your disapproval of marriages means that you approve of twerking or nudity. But it sure makes you wonder about where the world is heading. The only time I find cousin marriages barbaric is if they are imposed.** **** ** But prevention, just like imposition or force, can be barbaric.

So you have reduced all men who marry their cousin to lustful animals, eh? Do you realize that there are several cousin couples on GS? Is this how you perceive them? Finding your cousin attractive is no different from finding a non-related person of the opposite gender attractive. It’s just attraction. But according to you this attraction must be of a perverse nature. You mentioned in a thread that you are married. I’m sure your husband found you physically attractive amongst other things to want to marry you. Did he display his attraction/interest by oggling you…groping you…assaulting you…treating you like a piece of meat? Or did he treat you like a human being…with respect and dignity? I’m sure it was the latter, so why is it hard for you to believe that men who marry their cousins are capable of treating ALL women…their cousins or otherwise …with respect and not like a chunk of meat?

You are entitled to your opinions and preferences…but they need not be expressed with scorn/contempt/disgust…if they can’t be expressed logically. You don’t like cousin marriages…fine. You are not obligated to like them. To each his own. But to assume that men who married their cousins…or want to marry them…had a deficient upbringing where they weren’t raised to respect female relatives…or that they’ve view their cousins as “meat” is pushing it…it’s a weak/unintelligent argument…and it’s plain offensive.

Oh and…I highly doubt that the economic and political success of “our region” of the world hinges on the prohibition of consanguineous marriages. Leave such notions for Sarah Palin.

120

Re: Cousin marriages- yay or nay in this day and age.

:D