Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
I married him because he is house trained and obviously because I am the dutiful daughter. And he is very very chitta. He looks like a gora anyway. Once he came to pick me up from the train station after work and I walked right passed him thinking he was some gora. This has happened a number of times.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
kakabili: haha..u made me laugh..
anoki: seriously..i just would not bring it up..theyll all gang up on u like ur a freak and treat u like an outcast for the rest of the duration of ur job..and isnt it too much energy to keep explaining urself and trying to justofy ur beliefs to people who will never think like we do anyways?..i say save urself the heartache..its not ur life mission to convince goras to acceptt our culture with open arms..so y get into the hassle
I married him because he is house trained and obviously because I am the dutiful daughter. And he is very very chitta. He looks like a gora anyway. Once he came to pick me up from the train station after work and I walked right passed him thinking he was some gora. This has happened a number of times.
What is 'house trained'? Advanced certification after 'potty trained'?
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
haha aha
i was also wondering what this means..?..
It means he helps me around the house (e.g. cleaning, cooking etc) and makes lamb curry to die for.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
Avoid the topic. It's not worth discussing because it's not something even the most open-minded of Westerners can really be open about.
It means he helps me around the house (e.g. cleaning, cooking etc) and makes lamb curry to die for.
mash'Allah. you have a great husband, just pray for him. forget what others say.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
Are there other....I don't know......more deeper qualities that you like in him besides his proficiency in household chores, culinary abilities, and gora chitti chambri? It's possible that there may be aspect of his personality that you also admire, but you haven't mentioned them, which is why I ask. I think if you are truly attracted to a person's personality, it makes it a bit easier to filter/ignore society's ignorance. You have a more solid/stronger desire to stay with the person irrespective of cultural opinions.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
havent read the whole thing...... but i am sure coz we live in a global village..... most of the western world already know that in our religion and culture.... cousin marriage is allowed and it happens..... so dont worry and even if they make faces just tell them it happens in ur part of the world.
u have to be confident in wats happening in life..... u cant make everyone happy or satisfy with ur answers...... so just relax and enjoy ur relationship.
as for him being a FOB..... well if he is naik and shareef tu being a fob hardly matters. just be by his side and dont make him realize every now and then that he is a fob! :)
best of luck!
I married him because he is house trained and obviously because I am the dutiful daughter. And he is very very chitta. He looks like a gora anyway. Once he came to pick me up from the train station after work and I walked right passed him thinking he was some gora. This has happened a number of times.
Whats your age? are you sure you are ready to get married? Jaoo shabash homework karoo school ka nahee tu teacher punish karey gee ....
btw did you dad or grand dad or mom came from Pakistan? If yes, do you "hide" them in closet as well when your "gora saaab" friends visit you?
**
[quote="Miss_Noland, post:58, topic:217351"]
Cousin marriages are so distasteful. Apart from all the possible hereditary diseases, what else do you get out of such marriage? If I were you, I wouldn't talk about it either. Wait.. I wouldn't have married my cousin.
**
Those of you saying just be yourself...well how would you feel if you got into a hot debate about incest with a non-desi. You do know cousin marriages only exist in Muslim countries, right? It's different when people willingly get involved in incest in the west where it's illegal. WE MADE IT LEGAL!
its legal, our religion permisses us to marry our cousins. If cousin marriages automatically lead to deformities, disabilities when their offspring are born, then how do you explain the same disabilities in gorey, surely they cant be marrying their cousins.....
also if people get their facts stright, genes hardly come into the factor...for downs syndrome..which is probly the most asked about and tested for during pregnancy, has NOTHING TO DO with genes.....
and to be honest, if you can marry your cousin, you should be able to tell people as well. if they dont understand, who cares? do you really care that much.shame on you.
Genes do come into it. especially where there has been consecutive cousin marriages gerneration upon generation. In the UK in some town and cities where there is a large Pakistani population like Luton and Bradford, the special needs schools have a disproportionately high number of Pakistani children in them. Also, in those places doctors are coming across many new forms of genetic abnormalities in babies born to our people. Do not dismiss the genetic implicatons.
To all those who live outside Pakistan and have married their first cousins....do you hide that fact from your non-Pakistani friends and colleagues? I do. I just don't want to get involved in the whole incest debate. And since he is FOB I just don't want to fall into that typical Pakistani mould.
Any tips on how to deal with a gora going on about incest and cousin marriages??
First of all, Being a FOB im sure you had the choice to accept or reject this rishta, Knowing full well hes a FOB. Secondly you knew he was your cousin too IMO i cringe at the idea. Anyways The only way you can HIDE it is to just NOT show him to any of your colleagues.
However i feel sorry for him and if i was him i would hide you if you was my wife. That is such a low blow, You cant help hes your cousin you dont have to tell anyone, But seriously? Just because hes a FOB you dont wanan fall into a typical pakistani mould?? Who are you?! Gosh i know English woman showing off their 'FOB' husbands And being proud its THEIR husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
If you love the guy and want to marry him, if he is one who shares your hopes and dreams for the type of life you'd like to lead then by all means, proceed and who cares what others think. Its absolutlely no one's business if he is your cousin or not, this isnt something that you need to advertise and something that no one would even suspect unless you tell them.
There ARE considerations to be made like whether there are lots of family intermarriages and if so, whether any genetic maladies may be expected. The more intermarriage that has taken place, the more likely the chances are of mishaps. But a genetic counsellor can efficiently iron that out for you and give pretty exact odds.
I can understand your frustration because I am married to my cousin as well but I don't tell that to everyone. Most of all the desis know about it but I don't care if they think it's right or wrong since it's allowed in islam.
My husband moved here from pakistan almost 2 years ago and he is much different person now. It took him time to get use to of the envirnment so give your hubby some time and be supportive to him and he will start to pick up on things.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
If one reads these sites, cousin marriage is not so bad afterall. There are many points in there for anyone interested to ponder.
Facts about cousin marriage - CousinCouples.com
The Straight Dope: What’s wrong with cousins marrying?
In this above link, I would like to say islam does not ‘encourage’ counsin marriage. it only permits.
Diwana,
Marrying with a cousin once in a while is fine but marrying generation after generation after generation will **OBVIOUSLY **lead to problems.
As for whether they are right or wrong, each to their own. If two cousins see themselves as a couple then good for them, if two cousins see their relationship as brother and sister then good for them too and hence them getting married is obviously yuck.
My point as far as the topic is concerened, noone has the right to judge anyone! Saying that A.Ladli I wouldn't ADVERTISE it that you married your cousin. Batanay ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai. Koi poochay bata do warna just say he's your lovely husband.
Shrug.
Diwana,
Marrying with a cousin once in a while is fine but** marrying generation after generation after generation will OBVIOUSLY lead to problems.**
Not true. Not proven by scientific methods. You said OBVIOUSLY...and that's where you are absolutely not correct.
If the genes are present only then cousins marriages may bring genetic defects.
If bad genes are not present then even hundreds of generations will not bring genetically defected offsprings.
Did you read the articles by the way?
It is not the cousin marriage it is the genes.
And cousin marriages can even bring stronger offspring or even negate bad genes.
First cousin marriages may be problem in minority of cases and additional risk aboveand beyond non-cousin marriages is up to 2.8 percent. This is similar to or even less than the risk in a woman having a child around age 40.
Second cousin marriages still not more problematic than general population or random marriage.
Interestingly, conceiving a child at or around 40 years is not unlawful.
Canada, and whole Europe and many many other countries in this world have no law against cousin marriage. Only in some states of USA.
20% of ALL marriages in the world are cousin marriages. That is one in five marriages around the world!
If it was true that birth defects were so strongly associated to cousin marriages then we would have lot more people with genetic diseases due to cousin marriages alone.
Lastly, what about genetic defects so much prevalent in non-cousin marriages?
X-linked diseases do not require cousins marriages to be manifested for example. And what about so much more common autosomal dominant diseases? They do not require cousin marriages. Ever heard of Hemohilia or Fabry's disease?
Someone cited Pakistani area with genetic diseases.
The question is, where is the proof that it is due to cousin marriages and not because of disease already prevalent in the close family members and would be there anyway even if there was no cousin marriage???
Well if that is the case, then cousin marriages should not be done just like any other marriages!
Another thing you must know is Ashkenazic Jews have prevalence of several genetic diseases. Based on race and not necessarily marriage pattern by itself. Their forefathers had it, they just carried along. Hence there may be some race based diseases in these Pakistani individuals.
Just remember, we all are off-springs of cousin marriages at one time in the history of mankind!
Keep shrugging away. It helps your shoulder muscles! ;)
Speaking of shoulder muscles...read about Duchene muscular dystrophy-it does not need cousin marriage.
[QUOTE]
Not true. Not proven by scientific methods. You said OBVIOUSLY...and that's where you are absolutely not correct.
[/QUOTE]
I think a bit of googling will help.
;)
I think a bit of googling will help.
;)
There you go! Something for you to do. :)
Now please read before making comments in vain!
And here is something for you to ponder:
"Blaming cousin marriage for genetic diseases is like blaming water as a whole for amebic dysentry!"
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
Cousins are relatives and hence may share genes. So if they marry again and again then the fact they may have disabled children is COMMON sense. Lmao, how obvious does this needs to be?
Our religon allows it, yes, but it also encourages us to marry outside of our 'tribe/families'.