To all those who live outside Pakistan and have married their first cousins…do you hide that fact from your non-Pakistani friends and colleagues? I do. I just don’t want to get involved in the whole incest debate. And since he is FOB I just don’t want to fall into that typical Pakistani mould.
Any tips on how to deal with a gora going on about incest and cousin marriages??
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
First of all you should stop being ashamed of your husband being a 'FOB' and accept him for it.
You chose to be in this marriage with your cousin, what does it matter what goray think about it? You don't have to engage in that debate if you don't want to. Tell that gora that a couple of years ago the same thing happened in his culture, and this is the way things go in our culture. Khallas.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
AHAHAHAAH what a poor bloke. His wife thinks he's a Fob lmaooo tough luck mate tough luck.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
I never expected that i will ever read sometihng like that .. :) .. no offense but "Be yourself" and i feel every that person a FOB who try to hide "what they are" .. and here you are trying to be a FOB :)
secondly, i don't know whats the problem if you marry to your cousin. It's normal .. .. I don't think that this could have been an issue if your cousin (your hubby) would not have been a FOB (in your thinking). if he would have a good personality or something like that - then you would have been feeling proud at him and not hiding this fact.
third, even if he is fob and then it's your duty to change him to the environment you are living into. A lady can change his husband to whatever she wants to with love :) just try to do it in decent way that you don't hurt his self respect.
To all those who live outside Pakistan and have married their first cousins....do you hide that fact from your non-Pakistani friends and colleagues? I do. I just don't want to get involved in the whole incest debate. And since he is FOB I just don't want to fall into that typical Pakistani mould.
Any tips on how to deal with a gora going on about incest and cousin marriages??
If you live in America, just move to a place where things like "incest and cousin marriages" don't raise eyebrows (such as the South).
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
^ why run from reality ?
^:rotfl:Why not get a divorce and live with a gora?
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
@ McPendo: you are so right .. :) .. :P
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
If hes such a "fob" why'd you marry him?
though i understand not wanting to "flaunt" that hes a cousin to non-desis. and to desis who do look down on the cousin couple...well shame on them then.
^ why run from reality ?
What are you talking about?!? In the South, things like "incest and cousin marriages" ARE a reality.
If hes such a "fob" why'd you marry him?
though i understand not wanting to "flaunt" that hes a cousin to non-desis. and to desis who do look down on the cousin couple...well shame on them then.
Yes; shame on ANYONE whose values, mores and taboos are different from your** own**. Narrow-minded!
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
Cousin marriages are so distasteful. Apart from all the possible hereditary diseases, what else do you get out of such marriage? If I were you, I wouldn't talk about it either. Wait.. I wouldn't have married my cousin.
Those of you saying just be yourself...well how would you feel if you got into a hot debate about incest with a non-desi. You do know cousin marriages only exist in Muslim countries, right? It's different when people willingly get involved in incest in the west where it's illegal. WE MADE IT LEGAL!
Maybe you should give her some tips on how to deal with these "gora" instead of telling her to be herself and walk away from it. It will only fill her up with guilt. If something is right, you should be able to say so..
AHAHAHAAH what a poor bloke. His wife thinks he's a Fob lmaooo tough luck mate tough luck.
nice display pic bro and interesting thread
Yes; shame on ANYONE whose values, mores and taboos are different from your** own**. Narrow-minded b@stards!
Having different values and taboos doesn't give you the license to look down on anybody. So, yes, shame on you for thinking you're better than everyone else. Narrow minded indeed :)
*Cousin marriages are so distasteful. Apart from all the possible hereditary diseases, what else do you get out of such marriage? If I were you, I wouldn't talk about it either. Wait.. I wouldn't have married my cousin. * Those of you saying just be yourself...well how would you feel if you got into a hot debate about incest with a non-desi. You do know cousin marriages only exist in Muslim countries, right? It's different when people willingly get involved in incest in the west where it's illegal. WE MADE IT LEGAL!
Maybe you should give her some tips on how to deal with these "gora" instead of telling her to be herself and walk away from it. It will only fill her up with guilt. If something is right, you should be able to say so..
Well.....nobody's forcing you to marry a cousin right? And if so...i feel sorry anyone being "forced" to marry someone, cousin or not.
anyways my way of dealing with it would be to not tell anybody. Its no one's business how I met my spouse and if someone were to judge me on that....I don't have to socialize wtih them.
To all those who live outside Pakistan and have married their first cousins....do you hide that fact from your non-Pakistani friends and colleagues? I do. I just don't want to get involved in the whole incest debate. And since he is FOB *I just don't want to fall into that typical Pakistani mould. *
Any tips on how to deal with a gora going on about incest and cousin marriages??
Make up your mind. If you want to get married or not to this person. If you do then never mind anyone.
What's up with this wave of FOB/FOP/ABCD threads?
Having different values and taboos doesn't give you the license to look down on anybody.
Or to hold *any *other opinion, for that matter. Thank heavens for GS's resident thought-police! :)
So, yes, shame on you for thinking you're better than everyone else.
And for acting like I'm better than everyone else, and for passing judgment on others, for "thinking [they're] better than everyone else" (oh, wait, sorry, that was you!). :)
Narrow minded indeed :)
Indeed! :)
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
It's better to marry a cousin and to not sleep with strangers every other night like it's normal in their culture. So yeah, ignore the ignorant.
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[quote="Miss_Noland, post:58, topic:217351"]
Cousin marriages are so distasteful. Apart from all the possible hereditary diseases, what else do you get out of such marriage? If I were you, I wouldn't talk about it either. Wait.. I wouldn't have married my cousin. **
Those of you saying just be yourself...well how would you feel if you got into a hot debate about incest with a non-desi. You do know cousin marriages only exist in Muslim countries, right? It's different when people willingly get involved in incest in the west where it's illegal. WE MADE IT LEGAL!
its legal, our religion permisses us to marry our cousins. If cousin marriages automatically lead to deformities, disabilities when their offspring are born, then how do you explain the same disabilities in gorey, surely they cant be marrying their cousins.....
also if people get their facts stright, genes hardly come into the factor...for downs syndrome..which is probly the most asked about and tested for during pregnancy, has NOTHING TO DO with genes.....
and to be honest, if you can marry your cousin, you should be able to tell people as well. if they dont understand, who cares? do you really care that much.shame on you.
Re: Cousin marriages - ghar ki murghi??
The best thing to do is hide it from non-desi's, some desi's have a hard time excepting it as it is, there are many that just wont understand and if they are told they will develop a stereotypical image of you in their mind and will judge everything you do accordingly so......
I'm not sure of the OP's intentions, but I think a lot of you are looking too closely at the fact that she said her husband's a fob, she said nothing wrong, why does it seem as if everybody attaches a negative connotation to the word fob whenever it is used (even people who are all for them).....she said she doesn't want to tell people she married a cousin and also that he's a fob because she doesn't want to become stereotyped because I'm sure you all know what crosses most people's mind when they think cousin who is a fob.....