well, thats 2 people now who mentioned my time to post on GS! Well, whip me with a wet noodle! I do get a little bit of "sanity time" and I do enjoy GS so thats sometimes where my sanity time is spent...not that I'm here alot but I get half an hour to an hour a day for "selfish" time. Its really a necessary thing when you spend all day every day with little ones and no other adult contact. I have no time to have friends or to socialize not that I'm complaining but having GS to socialize a little is a very nice thing for me and I think a necessary break for any parent. Sometimes I choose other activities for myself, a manicure or a nap maybe but I do enjoy coming here so well thats my "free" time. As far as the "assbackward" point of view comment, guys should feel free to be the one at home with the babies but most choose not to. My husband enjoys his work, he also enjoys his babies but would enjoy them less if he were home with them all day while I worked. Being the stay at home parent is not what most guys are TYPICALLY into, but if thats your thing then good for you. WOmen TYPICALLY want to be the nurturer of little ones and again, if thats not your thing then go to work! Chandbeti, all I have to say is YES! Women ARE meant to "breed" babies and look after them, its just a fact of biology since the dawn of time! Its in your genes, its in nature for human and animal. If you personally lack that interest, then dont have kids and good for you for taking the option thats good for you.
sorry 'bout that! my boys hit a few keys here and re-loaded a previous response...nevewr a dull moment!!
Hold your horses fraudz. Handling the kids on his own is probably the only thing he cannot do. They don't have a laundry at home and not once has my sister gone out for it. He always takes are of it. Not just the washing but he neatly folds them and brings them back. He cleans the bathrooms which most desi men do not do, she cooks he cleans or vice versa, not once has baaj had to iron his clothes. If a person has certain limitations we need to learn how to deal with it.
Sometimes, I wish I was a woman.
Staying home taking care of babies while my Molecular Biologist hubby makes $$$ working on embryos. It would be a blast, I say.
I think it's a luxury to have one of the spouse stay home (with or without children). I noticed that some posters termed this phenomenon only to desis but I know of many American families who have a stay-home spouse (90% where the wife stays home). Just in my company last month, a Sr VP and a Director (both women) quit their $200K plus bonus jobs to stay home raise their FIRST child. I also know of one desi couple where the husband works from home and raises their one year old while the wife commutes to work. And amazing thing is the wife makes much less money than the husband.
The point is it depends on each individual couple, their circumstances and their expectaions from life. You can not say it is "right or wrong" to stay home and raise children.
To each his own.
And one more thing, if I was a woman ... I would be a real bitch.
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
*Hold your horses fraudz. *
okay lemme hold on to dem horses..whoaaaaa whoaaaaa..
Handling the kids on his own is **probably* the only thing he cannot do. *
is not the same thing as..
Her husband **couldn't ever deal with even half of it* on his own*
You current statement is very diff from your last one..
so it appears he does take care of a lot of houswork, and I assume he has a fulltime job too. good guy..give him a pat on the back.
I am just thankful Fraudz never performs surgery on my posts. Yay banda tau banday ki haddi pasli aik ker daita hay. 
i KNOW fraudia, God go eat something
so if a woman didn't work how much money would u guys be willing to spend on her??
it wont make him prettier, it'll make him a transvestite runway model dragqueen, u can change ur name to polly
It is easier to do the ‘haddi paslee aik’ when you segregate single sentences from a whole post.. ‘He couldn’t deal with half of it on his own’ was regarding multi-tasking particularly in reference to the kids. If he is doing house chores obviously she is taking care of the kids and that is how he gets the stuff done without having to multi-task. She on the other hand if doing house chores would have her mind on the kids too since he would be out working. Helping out is different and easier than being a stay-at-home parent. Got it?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Aishaaa1: *
so if a woman didn't work how much money would u guys be willing to spend on her??
[/QUOTE]
It depends on her performance. I will do annual reviews to evaluate her on;
Cooking
Cleaning
Child Raising
Mood swings
Anger Management
Handywoman-ness
etc.
Depending on scores in above categories she may or may not get to eat at McDonalds for Saturday night.
arrey FF, I didn't say that bc what he did to your post. I have been noticing it for some time now. He does this to everyone. I just wish someone would do to his posts too.
Now i know WHY no one wants to marry the perv clown, i think everyone would agree with me when i say "funguy" sounds like a perverted clown name
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Mamaof3: *
Chandbeti, all I have to say is YES! Women ARE meant to "breed" babies and look after them, its just a fact of biology since the dawn of time! Its in your genes, its in nature for human and animal. If you personally lack that interest, then dont have kids and good for you for taking the option thats good for you.
[/QUOTE]
ahan! And you feel that is all the women can do and should do eh? Well good for you if you think that. Thanks to people with your mentality, women back home and in other conservative parts of the world are still going through hell.
If a Woman wants to hold a job or run a business, why not? Parenting instincts are not meant just for the women you see. It's just that the women being weaker have been forced to and even brainwashed( by men and a few women too) into believing this crap. And like I said, after a baby, woman can give more attention to the child( if father ain't interested in cleaning after the baby) and the man can take up more household chores for time being. I just want an equal distribution of load, be it financial or househuld chores.
A question CB. Once you get married and have kids, both you and your husband would carry on working of course, would you put your children into day care 9-5, 5 days a week or would you ask your husband to take paternity leave. Suppose if he did not want to leave his job either then what would you do with your kids?
femme: day care is the only option. Ofcourse I would not expect him to take a leave when I am not taking one. I can take a maternity leave for like a few months, but that is it. And I am not against putting kids into the day care.
Originally posted by Aishaaa1: *
**i KNOW fraudia, God go eat something*
please dont call me god, thank you
*so if a woman didn't work how much money would u guys be willing to spend on her?? *
would depend on a few things
1- how much discretionary income I have
2- what am I spending money on, pampering is fine, throwing money away is not
3- how good of a wife is she.
FF and CB, There are other options available. How about having a Nanny come to your house? This has several advantages:
- Baby is in familar surrounding, which keeps the baby calm.
- Safe environment for Baby.
- Baby will not get sick as often as the kids in day care.
- Nanny can pay more attention to your child (one on one) which is essentail and helpful in the development years.
- You will feel better knowing your child is safe.
Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
**It is easier to do the ‘haddi paslee aik’ when you segregate single sentences from a whole post*
No, its was not a point of segregating single sentences..because even in this post you state the following
regarding multi-tasking particularly in reference to the kids. If he is doing house chores obviously she is taking care of the kids and that is how he gets the stuff done without having to multi-task
Now if i were to take this as evidence or proof that he could not multi-task, the same could be said about his wife, because she is not taking care of the kids AND house chores, she is doing one thing.
since he would be out working. Helping out is different and easier than being a stay-at-home parent. Got it?
BS.. work is not a walk in the park, are you suggesting that when a person goes to work, he just playsa few rounds of golf and comes back? or is a person concerned about his patients, clients, customers, bosses, competitors, systems many many internal ands external challenges and issues he has to face every day and resolve?
helping out is easier than being a stay at home parent ..if you dont have another whole spectrum of responsibilities, and challenges at work.
I have seen full time mothers take care of kids, and aside from new borns, the task is not that tough..feed em, wash em, play with em (or plop them in front of Tv as many stay at home mums do) and it still gives them time to watch movies, read books, and what nots.
yes, as a stay at home parent you are on call 24/7, but the spouse who works is on call as soon as he/she is back, and has a much more stressful working day than the stay at home parent.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Madhanee: *
Fraudz. not just that, you are multi-tasking God.
[/QUOTE]
Tobah tobah dont call me god.
and as far as multi-tasking... I can barely do one task properly at a time..(short attention span ya know)
I agree with Madhanee, 0-3 years are the most important years as far as the development is concerned. I will liek tobelieve that we are doing a good job with our girls. They are 2 years old, one of them can say the whole alphabet, they can count from 1-10, they can color ans say a lot of small sentences over and over to drive their mom and dad crazy. One other thing I am really happy about is that I am teching them Urdu/arabic also, its a treat to hear them say Asslamoalikum in the morning...working on the "pehla kalima" they can say half of it. Ok, bring it all back to the current topic, it really depends what you prefer, I for one will not put my kids in day care, nanny at home (1st choice), drop them in a neighborhood(2nd choice), one of us will stay home if other two are not possible.