You have rights to practice as much of Islam you chose to follow. I would say this is another hypocrisy of our culture mixed with religious guidance. If you love tattoos and want a social life of your chosing, you should be allowed to get one.
Are there any of you out there who have a conservative hubby? How do you deal with it? Not only that but how do u deal with a semi religious/religious hubby when you are non practising? For example i dont eat halal, i dont care if i wear tank tops outside, i dont mind
Friends or hanging out with guys, i love tattoos, but my husband doesnt. I feel as if tht impacts me as an individual. Like why cant you accept me? So how do i work this out?
Honestly im not trolling and this one of the reasons why me and my husband always gets into fights.
@sammi4ever since you asked for it therefore my advise to you is that have a straight talk to him, a woman to a man. Tell him Hey I see your viewpoint, I know where you are coming from I was raised in a Muslim family and around Muslims, I know all about it but at this point I am not ready to change anything about me. I know I can die tomorrow and from your perspective end up in hell fire forever but I am willing to take this chance, you will not be blamed for it anyway here or in hereafter if there is any. Like many other people you have told me what is right or what is wrong and fulfilled your obligation. Now let us put our efforts in making this marriage work. I will be your wife and I will be loyal to you forever. I would do everything to make your life peaceful and joyous. I expect you to do the same. You did not impose any conditions before our wedding. Please do not impose any conditions for our marriage to work. I am also not imposing any conditions either. I live in a society where men and woman have equal rights men or women are not considered superior to each other. I expect you to keep that in mind. For me this is the only way go forward. If you have anything against what I am saying then we are not made for each other.
Can you be so bold and honest? If yes well and good. If you cannot be that bold and honest then you would have to change your stance and go for what he is saying.
Keep this in mind if your marriage ends because you are so liberal and he is so conservative then it will be hard for you to get married to another honest, sincere , loving , caring desi man. Desi community is very small therefore very soon everybody would find out what happened.
You might be able to find some non desi person second time around who would agree to your lifestyle and mindset but that will be temporary fun and game.
It is getting harder and harder for divorced desi woman to find perfect match for life.
Depending on how religious he is he might not agree with that. On Judgement Day he'll be asked why he didn't lead his family including his wife to the straight path. And vice versa. Its not for nothing that the Prophet pbuh said "Marriage completes half your deen.". This is why the OP needs to figure out if Islam has any importance for her in the future or not.
^Tattoos are haram, false eyelashes are haram, coloured contacts are haram, some hair extensions are haram.. The vast majority of us are sinning but it's easier to point fingers at others..
^Tattoos are haram, false eyelashes are haram, coloured contacts are haram, some hair extensions are haram.. The vast majority of us are sinning but it's easier to point fingers at others..
I don't use any of these but really?!? Can you mention the reference?
I don't use any of these but really?!? Can you mention the reference?
*‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “May Allaah curse the women who do tattoos and those for whom tattoos are done, those who pluck their eyebrows and those who file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and alter the creation of Allaah.” (al-Bukhaari,al-Libaas, 5587; Muslim, al-Libaas, 5538). ***
^Tattoos are haram, false eyelashes are haram, coloured contacts are haram, some hair extensions are haram.. The vast majority of us are sinning but it's easier to point fingers at others..
if somebody is really pointing finger on you that's really wrong, but if someone is telling its haram or not permissible in islam than that's fine, its like if someone is not wearing dupatta and you are pointing out like this she is doing sin etc etc, than this is wrong rather than pointing it out tell them the truth its order by Allah subhan wa ta'ALLAH in Quran and to Him we submit.
*‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “May Allaah curse the women who do tattoos and those for whom tattoos are done, those who pluck their eyebrows and those who file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and alter the creation of Allaah.” (al-Bukhaari,al-Libaas, 5587; Muslim, al-Libaas, 5538). ***
Thanks, I knew about tattoo and eyebrows. Some things are unnecessary but what's wrong with personal grooming? We need to be presentable, it's not like we are living in a jungle.
*‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “May Allaah curse the women who do tattoos and those for whom tattoos are done, those who pluck their eyebrows and those who file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and alter the creation of Allaah.” (al-Bukhaari,al-Libaas, 5587; Muslim, al-Libaas, 5538). ***
Thanks, I knew about tattoo and eyebrows. Some things are unnecessary but what's wrong with personal grooming? We need to be presentable, it's not like we are living in a jungle.
I guess the main reasoning is to not bring undue pain unto your body. That's why these things r haram.
*‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “May Allaah curse the women who do tattoos and those for whom tattoos are done, those who pluck their eyebrows and those who file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and alter the creation of Allaah.” (al-Bukhaari,al-Libaas, 5587; Muslim, al-Libaas, 5538). ***
Thanks, I knew about tattoo and eyebrows. Some things are unnecessary but what's wrong with personal grooming? We need to be presentable, it's not like we are living in a jungle.
Point 5. You say you barely call yourself Muslim. The "demands" your husband has made (and you mentioned in point 1 that hes religious) are pretty much all based on an islamic understanding. No tattoos, cause theyre haram. No hanging out with guys. Also haram. No tank tops. Modesty is a big thing in islam. No eating food that is not halal. Hes just telling you what you should be doing as a Muslim. If you're having a hard time with agreeing with his stance then that's you having an issue with Islam.
Plus it looks like you don't have any inclination to follow Islam anytime soon. I think you need to tell him that. A Muslim especially a practising one will want his spouse to also be practising. If not now then definitely in the future. What about kids? He'll want them raised Muslim. Will you object?
+1
OP has not been upfront with this person when she considers herself "barely" a muslim. Agree she needs to tell him.
+1
OP has not been upfront with this person when she considers herself "barely" a muslim. Agree she needs to tell him.
I have told him though. I even told him all my issues with Islam n why I think the way I do. But my parents keep backfeeding him saying that I might change in the future and for now he should let me be.
Your parents are not going to marry him, you are. You shud tell your parents and him as well, that you are not thinking about any change. If he still goes on with this marriage, then its his mistake but then you might pay for it in future.
Your parents are not going to marry him, you are. You shud tell your parents and him as well, that you are not thinking about any change. If he still goes on with this marriage, then its his mistake but then you might pay for it in future.
I have told them this repeatedly. I get mad when they say this. but then they tell me that I haven't seen the future and I might. I have told them that I will NEVER change. and they told me that in marriage you don't really need to be compatible religiously. Like I don't mind the kids being raised muslim, just don't expect me to do it. Just don't bring up religion at all with me and we will be fine.
How mch does religion really influence everyday life for couples?
^A lot. Specially when it comes to kids and specially when wife is not religious. My wife is lot more religious than I am and at times this creates disagreement between us. In case of you being liberal one, hanging out with guys or skimpy clothes can be a major issue. Its too hard for a man to bear thier wife wearing clothes they don't approve of, this is true even of atheists, not just religious ones.
These sound like pretty big differences in values and ideas. Why did you marry him then if he doesn't think like you?
Lemme guess?
$, house, family status, family name, his education (not because you care what he studied but because it makes you look good), social connections, similar tribe (ex same type of Punjabi)
