Sorry @diwana I did read back at my post and it was very emotional and sorry if i insulted you. Just you're more than welcome to open up a separate thread about single mums, , you really should have had some sensitivity towards OP's friend, i've been through this personally myself where negative people told us we have no hope our nephew is better off with his father, that my sister did something wrong when she divorced and really it made everything worse when we thought we lost him forever.
Also @EDAL, whether she's muslim or non-muslim a mother is still a mother. Paradise still lies under her feet. Alot of converts to islam are encouraged to respect and honour thier non muslim parents. I understand your uncle wanted a better life for his daughter outside of the gangs of LA but he really commited a big sin on taking a child away from her mother like that. Maybe he should have taken his mexican wife to pakistan with him so she could be near her daughter or paid for her to visit her daughter or the other way round. Unless she abused her daughter there was no need to cut all ties between them two. Don't use Islam to justify it, your uncle will be accountable for what he did unless he's trying to sort things out by letting his daughter see her mother. Do you know how severe the sin of cutting kinship is? No mother ever forgets her baby i just hope the girl's mother's life isn't ruined because she can't see her daughter anymore and your uncle will accountable for the suffering she's been throigh at the loss of her daughter, muslim or not, a mother is a mother. Heck your uncle could have moved somewhere else in america or paid for his mexican wife to live somewhere else outside of LA, he could have been responsible for the mother of his daughter. I'm glad she lives a good life but something big is missing from t because of her father.
Belledonne, let me get this right. He had weekend access to her (court ordered?) and he took her out of the country during his access to the child? If a court order was in place, then this man is in big trouble when they find him.
I hope the authorities find him and return the child to her mother.
I think these questions have to be asked from the father. it seems we are judging his actions based on out understandings of situation. But he is the one who knows both kind of situations. He decided to take his daughter away for some reasons he thought would be for a greater good for his daughter.
Especially in Pakistani social structure, (or even in any outside Pakistani culture), man CAN have a stronger role and stronger input how his kids are brought up. Women do have their roles but they can be overridden by a man relatively easily. If the guy has a strong will, he would make sure his daughter gets treated well.
Step mothers and Cinderella type stories can occur but if the man has strong role in the house, these problems can be mitigated.
In your bold part you have only generalized but have not proven by any good statistics. Not denying it, but one cannot go over board to make a point.
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OK.
This study actually deals with single versus both parents and not specifically looking for ‘single mothers’ effects on their children especially the girls.
Whatever you posted has only dealt strongly with “substance abuse” issue and later general talk about conflicts in the household etc.
Even then the rate of substance abuse was admitted to be lower in this study. Yes one percent but with 22000 sample size that can be a big difference.
Now to refute her All I have to do is to bring this study.
Shanta R. Dube, “Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Household Dysfunction and the Risk of Illicit Drug Use: The Adverse Experiences Study,” Pediatrics 111, (2003): 564-572.
Bella DePaulo Only tried to show that somehow single parents don’t do so bad compared to married couples. A very weak attempt against many strong evidences out there.
This study confirms which I already said above a “Acceptable Scenario”. A single mother who is well off and has other supports and efforts.
Also as per this study, single mothers are less advantageous due to financial burden and they have to have some other means to support children.
You posted:
"The biggest differences between single mothers and single fathers had to do with various background characteristics such as income, education and occupational prestige. “For nearly every demographic and background characteristic that we measured, single mothers were disadvantaged compared with single fathers,” Downey said.
This suggests that children living with single mothers would be more successful if the mothers were better off financially. “Parents with higher socioeconomic status are usually better positioned to create positive family environments,” Downey said."
**And in my post # 68, when I posted Ann Coulter book, it said:
**
“A 2008 study led by Georgia State University economist Benjamin Scafidi found that single mothers – unwed or divorced – cost the US taxpayer $112 billion every year.” – P.51
Same thing. Right?
Not sure why in post 132 you used this smiley when you also used a search engine. We are communicating via internet and nothing wrong in using a search engine.
The funny thing is, I have met sooooooooooo many guys who are invested in their kids' futures. They sincerely care and want to be a part of their children's lives. There ARE men out there who love their kids and its not rare either.
But their attitude is WORLDS different from what I see in this thread. I've seen them do everything in their power to insure their children are not disturbed, upset or even so much as made uncomfortable. They swallow their pride, come to terms with their ex's and make it work because they love their children. Its not about them and they get it. This happens when their primary concern is the CHILD and NOT their bruised little EGO.
THAT is the attitude of a man worried about his kids.
The attitude of a man who doesn't give a rat's arse about his kids but only wants to hurt his ex-wife is one being described in this thread. Using a kid to get revenge is sick and disturbing.
Someone who has seen custody cases has been awarded the best answer on Yahoo by reader. Yes I googled it.
**Why do almost all child custody battles go to women?**
Ive never met a divorced man who has won full custody and then pays the wife tons of money and basically hating life. This isnt just a few men. This is most men I have met throughout life that lost the custody battle and the woman got everything.. Dont give stupid answers, give some real empirical evidence and explain.
I am a member of a Father's Rights group and there are men who do get custody, but it is a fight and very unfair system we have.
One thing is I see men going into break-ups very naive about their parenting rights. Women are constantly chatting about their friends who did this or that so they share a lot of information with each other. Most women have some strong advice coming from their sister or mother etc when they get divorced so they come to the table more prepared than men.
Men get angry and the vindictive woman “plays” it. They lose their temper when the woman breaks her court order and as soon as the police arrive he goes to jail- even when she threw the first punch! I have sat down at the courthouse and heard them going into request an OP (order of protection) crying and acting all upset, then get into the car and drive away laughing.
Judges are terrible in my state,they play right into the woman’s hands. Mostly people think of kids as possessions:"my time “my custody” instead of the rights of the child. Children have the right to know both parents without interference unless it is endangering to their lives. Preventing a child from seeing his/her father is unfair and in most cases detrimental to the child when it is time for them to make good choices for their own partners.
No where in Islam, it allows fathers to kidnap their children from the mothers of children. He should have thought about that when he was marrying the women or planning to have a child. I have seen many children with single moms, those moms are doing amazing things for their children, the children are doing just fine. Islam does not allows father to kidnap children from mother, so before he plans on giving an Islamic environment to his girl, he needs to show it from his dealings.
^^^ Of course it matters, if the father is a good Muslim then definitely the child will be better of with him. As a Muslim father it is his responsibility to ensure his daughter is raised in a healthy Islamic environment.
Have you seen the condition of these kids who grow up with these single moms in the West? I have, and it's not good.
when you also used a search engine. We are communicating via internet and nothing wrong in using a search engine. 
