Wow...Edal & Diwana....no words for what I have just read....
Even though common sense says not to, I'm going against my better judgement....
I was raised by a single mother, who worked **two **jobs to put food on the table and a roof over heads, and **still **managed to sew my Eid shalwar kameez's by hand every year and bake my birthday cakes herself... I was **NEVER **prone to all the stereotypical BS you two self appointed moral pundits are spewing here....
It never ceases to amaze me how narrow minded and flat out ridiculous the two of you can be sometimes...
Oh, and in case you're wondering on where my father was through out all this....he was sitting in some random drawing room with a bunch of tableeghi jamat morons smoking cigarettes and talking Islam while his wife was out doing his job and supporting the family.....I loved my father very, very much, and he was a good man, but what he did to us and my mother was flat out wrong. Islam does not tell you to forsake your duties on this earth just to make your place in the afterlife....
By mistake, he ended up getting the Mexican lady pregnant and had my cousin (a girl).
What a "mistake" your married uncle with a wife and child back in Pakistan made! He accidentally got in bed with his fake wife for immigration. Bichara!!!
It's nice that your uncle comes and goes freely to America several times. The question is, does he bring his daughter to visit with her mother during his stay in America?
Let child's mother visit Pakistan by herself and file a case at German embassy within Pakistan. If you wish to file this case sitting abroad than I think this case won't going to solve in a day or two, probably will take years to get back the child or win the custody.
I was raised by a single mother, who worked **two **jobs to put food on the table and a roof over heads, and **still **managed to sew my Eid shalwar kameez's by hand every year and bake my birthday cakes herself... I was **NEVER **prone to all the stereotypical BS you two self appointed moral pundits are spewing here....
Your mom's story brought tears to my eyes khattichic. She must be an amazing lady!
and why couldn't this man have left the child with the mother......where the courts had obviously decided she belongs
remained involved and a major influence in her life to ensure that she had the proper upbringing?
why couldn't he provide for her well-being and needs financially?
why couldn't he have done what a father should be doing????
Edal and diwana, i wonder what you'd do if anything like this happened to your sister.
Don't like my question? - So shut up. Open another thread about single mothers go have an orgy over there.
I had this situation happen to my sister, we didn't see our nephew after 6 years and only now we allowed to visit him by his father, we tried to track him down before but he said he will send people to shoot us dead and we didn't want to risk anything. It's great seeing him, but our short visits are monitored closely and we can't be alone with him (not my parents nobody) and our nephew doesnt have that close bond with us like he should have. It's very damaging but hey it could have been worse but seeing the state my sister was in i don't even want to talk about it further.
How interesting, I just read this story about a girl who was locked in a room by her father for 10 years. He got sole custody after the parents split.
*A young Palestinian woman who was imprisoned for 10 years in a series of dark rooms by her father revealed today she survived the ordeal by listening to the radio, dreaming of seeing sunshine again and finding small pleasure in an apple she was fed each day.
Baraa Melhem, 20, said she was enjoying her first taste of freedom after a decade of isolation and threats of rape and abuse, and she hopes to use her experience to help others.
Miss Melhem said she was first locked up in a bathroom after she ran away from home when she was 10. Police brought her home, and her father forced her to sign a statement saying she didn’t want to go back to school. Miss Melhem’s parents divorced when she was four years old, and her father received custody.
Miss Melhem is now living with her mother, Maysoun, in an Arab neighborhood of Jerusalem.*
An extreme story, but it just goes to the opposite of what some people are posting here … there are no guarantees in life.
Your mom's story brought tears to my eyes khattichic. She must be an amazing lady!
Thanks LC...she was an amazing lady..very hardworking and no nonsense. I lost both my parents to cancer in 2008.
I wish Edal & Diwana would realize that there hard line stance against the "west" is so wrong. There are plenty of hardworking, descent women (and men!) from ALL walks of life (every religion & color!) who are raising their children alone and doing a mighty fine job.
Can it be hard for Muslim parents to raise their children in a foreign land, and have them grow up to be good, descent people....yes of course it is.
and how many stories will we find of the step-daughter that is brought around only to end up as the servant?
just as some would suggest that there are statistics to support one thing or another.....let's dig up the statistics on how step children are treated in rural Pakistan.....particularly those that would be considered "half breeds".
There is a stereotype galore going on here. First, how kids turn out depend to a large extent on your socio-economic status and not whether you were raised by a single mom. Obama was pretty much raised by a single mother as well. He went to Harvard and Columbia, and is today the President of the United States. What makes you conclude that Ms. Belledone's relative, who has been shipped to a village in Mandi Bahauddin, could not have similar opportunities in life and one day possibly even become the German Chancellor if she was allowed to be raised by her mother in Germany?
I also find it incredible how quick we are to pass judgments about the single mothers' character and their capability to raise their own kids. Where were those concerns when those guys in question happily married those women? Or made them pregnant? Because, let's face it, that cannot happen "accidentally;" the likely reason one would choose to have a child with someone he married only for a permanent visa is to bolster the case for getting that visa and making the sham marriage look convincing.
Also, as is likely, only relatively uneducated, young and vulnerable women might have failed to see through the guys' plans and consented to marrying them, what was stopping those guys, if they were so concerned about their children's future, from manning up, staying near their kids, and paying child support even if they had to divorce their 'wives' after getting the citizenship they wanted? No law in the world can stop a man from doing that.
*Listen, first of all I'm not talking about you guys over here that were raised by or are single Muslim ladies. Obviously that situation is kind of different as you will likely not have rotating men coming in and out of the house, further you will likely have strong family support in terms of your parents and extended family. As in Pakistan a child is not just raised by their parents but the whole extended family is involved, and a lot of support is available. *
My post related to an assumption I made with the OP , I assumed the mom is some single White German lady. Leaving your daughter alone with her in Germany = a very bad idea.
I have a friend here who is a social worker for the state of Texas, in the Houston metro area, 99% of the time the teenagers who are abused,commit anti social behavior, seek abortions, are molested, these kids are coming from broken homes with no father and a single mother. Often a black lady, but also many whites and Hispanics. This is not me saying it, but these are the words directly from a social worker.
Oh please. Everyone knows children raised by s*ingle parents are more prone to teen pregnancy, drug abuse, sexual exploitation, and trouble with the law*. Just because you turned out fine doesn't mean anything, some people also live into their 90's while smoking. Single parent homes in the west with a single working mom are prone to all sorts of issues, this is why morality and society is so broken down here.
Worst piece of generalisation I have ever seen. My father's siblings were raised from his own dad on his own after my dadi died when they were kids and they turned out highly educated, super nice people. One of my friend's mum raised my friend on her own and she turned out to be probably one of the most nicest people I know.
Please don't generalise.
People with drug problems etc have more deeper issues than just single parenting.
There is a stereotype galore going on here. First, how kids turn out depend to a large extent on your socio-economic status and not whether you were raised by a single mom. Obama was pretty much raised by a single mother as well. He went to Harvard and Columbia, and is today the President of the United States. What makes you conclude that Ms. Belledone's relative, who has been shipped to a village in Mandi Bahauddin, could not have similar opportunities in life and one day possibly even become the German Chancellor if she was allowed to be raised by her mother in Germany?
I also find it incredible how quick we are to pass judgments about the single mothers' character and their capability to raise their own kids. Where were those concerns when those guys in question happily married those women? Or made them pregnant? Because, let's face it, that cannot happen "accidentally;" the likely reason one would choose to have a child with someone he married only for a permanent visa is to bolster the case for getting that visa and making the sham marriage look convincing.
Also, as is likely, only relatively uneducated, young and vulnerable women might have failed to see through the guys' plans and consented to marrying them, what was stopping those guys, if they were so concerned about their children's future, from manning up, staying near their kids, and paying child support even if they had to divorce their 'wives' after getting the citizenship they wanted? No law in the world can stop a man from doing that.
There are strong statistics and studies which prove that the optimal environment for a child is a healthy home with a mother and father, this is also what is recommended as per Islam. There was also studies which showed that people who commit crimes are more often raised in single homes vs people who do not commit crimes.
I learned this in an optional sociology course at University, broken homes = broken kids = broken adults.
In terms of Obama I think you fail to consider the strong role his White Irish Grandparents played in his upbringing, they pretty much raised him, he mentions them over and over in his book "The Audacity of hope". He especially mentions the important role his Grandfather played in his life.
Worst piece of generalisation I have ever seen. My father's siblings were raised from his own dad on his own after my dadi died when they were kids and they turned out highly educated, super nice people. One of my friend's mum raised my friend on her own and she turned out to be probably one of the most nicest people I know.
Please don't generalise.
People with drug problems etc have more deeper issues than just single parenting.
AGAIN I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU OVER HERE OR EASTERN FAMILY DYNAMICS, I AM TALKING ABOUT HERE IN THE WEST, YOUR TYPICAL SINGLE MOM HOME. LEARN TO READ.
European Law dictates that only the parent with custody has permission to unilaterally take a child abroad. In this scenario, the father is not the main custodian hence meaning this is potentially a kidnapping.
What I want to know is ARE you sure the mother doesn't know about her daughter being taking abroad? What if the mother has given permission?