Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
phir shadi kaise hogi logon k?! :p :D
I dunno--perhaps God. and not the aunties who we give so much power.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
this has been established multiple times in life1. I don't see how it supports the twisted rishta "process".
i am glad you haven't had to do the traditional rishta parade, so this thread was just for the sake of having a thread then?
It's just in theory, cool.
well no this thread was abt me, it was just nt done in the typical rishta meet-ups! it was a bit more casual than that so supposingly less pressure i suppose bt i still felt the pressure :( lol. neva mind.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
I dunno--perhaps God. and not the aunties who we give so much power.
Yah but even Allah has said u gotta work in order to get something. You cant sit idle at home waiting for prince charming to show up, though i hope it worked that way :(
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
I dunno--perhaps God. and not the aunties who we give so much power.
I dont particularly like these rishta aunties, they are shady and I DO avoid them. Thanks for duas philosophy.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
well no this thread was abt me, it was just nt done in the typical rishta meet-ups! it was a bit more casual than that so supposingly less pressure i suppose bt i still felt the pressure :( lol. neva mind.
are you confused about going ahead with it? Do istikhara.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
are you confused about going ahead with it? Do istikhara.
yah! but its on the initial stages so i suppose parents wud chk up more before doing istikhara. im just nervous n confused cuz its my first experience!
thnx.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
yah! but its on the initial stages so i suppose parents wud chk up more before doing istikhara. im just nervous n confused cuz its my first experience!
thnx.
I'm in the same boat as you (hence my thread a few days ago). :/ I don't know how these stupid games in rishta process work. And I agree, they need to call back and say no, at least. The family that came over to my place didn't even call to say thanks even though they were SO persistent and bothered me during my exam time about wanting to come over SO SO SO badly. Ab kahan gaye!?
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
same thing with me girl and I hate it, and they sat in my house for like 4 hours its even worse when you actually end up liking the guy/family. silly people 
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
oh wow, yeah this family was over for 3 and mera dimagh kaa rahay thay about my plans about medical school and whether i was applying in NY (where they live) and when and what my top choices were. It’s been over a week for me, but knowing them, they’ll call right when I have exams/something to do. How long has it been for you?
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
1) I was perfectly okay with going ahead with the first girl I met and there were kinks which needed to be worked out/discussed but it we never got that far.
2) This does make sense, you can't evaluate a 'product' without knowing what the competition looks like; BUT at the same time you shouldn't over-extend the process, you need to pick one and be content with your decision.
3) See answer 2; content!
4) Physical appearance does not guarantee a successful relationship.
5) How do you gauge the man's mother? Ask another person married into that family?
6) I don't know
7) I don't ask, I feel I've been left negleted so that's where the two of us stand.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
I guess we should start taking the guys’ families more easily just like they take us. Its because we take them so seriously and take their politie talking as the indication of their liking and start expecting that they will be calling back soon which does not happen 99% of the time. They want to take as much time as they can, want to do more window shopping, think as hard as they can before finalising. We cannot help it girls. So be patient and do pray that we get rid of this pathetic process soon…
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
oh wow, yeah this family was over for 3 and mera dimagh kaa rahay thay about my plans about medical school and whether i was applying in NY (where they live) and when and what my top choices were. It's been over a week for me, but knowing them, they'll call right when I have exams/something to do. How long has it been for you?
Its been a week for me, im finishing med school in 6 months iA and they were asking if I am applying for jobs near London (where they live etc) and seemed really happy and the dad even asked my parents if me the guy could sit alone in a seperate room and talk for a while and now not even a whisper!
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
I guess we should start taking the guys' families more easily just like they take us. Its because we take them so seriously and take their politie talking as the indication of their liking and start expecting that they will be calling back soon which does not happen 99% of the time. They want to take as much time as they can, want to do more window shopping, think as hard as they can before finalising. We cannot help it girls. So be patient and do pray that we get rid of this pathetic process soon...
You are so right Ashy, I also pray that we all get out of this frustrating process soon. psht!
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
oh no iA it works out for you! Yeah, lame dude. I haven't even started, they were like asking alllll these questions and I'm like in the process of applying right now (so it's fairly flexible in terms of where I apply right now and stuff). Like I said, ammi's very...confident...which makes me mad cuz its gonna suck when it doesn't work out. Meh they waited like 2 months before even following up after the initial time they spoke w/ my mom so who knows. annnnoying.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
oh no iA it works out for you! Yeah, lame dude. I haven't even started, they were like asking alllll these questions and I'm like in the process of applying right now (so it's fairly flexible in terms of where I apply right now and stuff). Like I said, ammi's very...confident...which makes me mad cuz its gonna suck when it doesn't work out. Meh they waited like 2 months before even following up after the initial time they spoke w/ my mom so who knows. annnnoying.
YUP my mum is pretty confident too, shes not even worrying...I am thinking come on if they liked me surely they would have called now. MEH
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
soconfused, the same thing happened to me, my fiances family came with the rishta proposal during my exams, my head was all over the place. I even cried because I didn’t know what I wanted, and having exams made everything so much worse. I just wish desi families would appreciate that some of us have exams, and so not to come during the exam period, but maybe that’s just me. But then, whatever happens, happens for the best, I did finally agree…although my parents made them come a few times before saying yes. I suppose it’s different from the girls side, as the parents don’t want to come across as wanting to get rid of their daughter.
I hope everything works out for the best, soconfused, and ZareenKhan. 
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
This might sound strange, but would you ever feel embarrassed or guilty if you say 'no'? Also, have you ever bumped into that person some months later? Awkward!!
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
YUP my mum is pretty confident too, shes not even worrying...I am thinking come on if they liked me surely they would have called now. MEH
I try to make my mom relaxed so that she doesn't form any expectations whenever any of the families start proceeding the rishta. Guys families don't want to look desperate 'if' they like the girl besides trying to get more time and opportunities to look for more prospects. And lets admit, marriage is a very difficult and big decision to be taken instantly unless and until they have found the 'perfect' girl and we all know nobody is perfect in this world. So we have to be patient. I know its very difficult but we don't have any choice.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
What if they do look desperate? And you want to take your time. Is it not ok to ask for time since everyone wants to look around before finalising on the very first option they get.
Re: Confused about Rishta related stuff.
ok dayum. i think i have let go of a good rishta just because of my lack of decision making power n i think i got super nervous for things going too fast.
i feel really bad now :( nt that i felt it was the best thing that was happening to me but at the same time now that its not there i feel i was very stupid to not go for it and that i wl regret this all my life.