Re: complaining about food
That is not normal. Your husband is being immature and childish.
Next time he complains, tell him you'll take the food back and he can go make or buy something for himself. And that he's more than welcome to enter the kitchen and cook exactly what he wants.
Re: complaining about food
Why would you even say that? Maybe he needs to be thankful that he has such a sweet, thoughtful wife who not only cooks for him but learned to cook the cuisine of his choice from the chef of his liking. Even our religion says that a woman is not compelled to cook for her husband. And no one should give names to food. He is lucky to have food on his table and a woman who cares to do that for him.
But don't you think that saying that a,b,c things need to be improved is being picky and giving names to the food. My parents have taught us to never say "this is salty or bland or something", just say "I would like more salt or pepper" because giving names to food comes back to you.
That's all cool and everything but I can tell you that after a hard day's work, if I am coming home and consistently eating food I don't particularly want in my mouth or stomach, it's going to have an effect on my marriage. That's just true. One should not criticize rizq, but that does not mean we don't have particular taste buds which we can't control. Eating dinner with family is one of the short occasions that can be enjoyed, and regularly eating food that I don't have the taste buds for will take away from that family time enjoyment. Not the say that that is the case with the OPs food ( it might or might not be), but let me tell all the ladies here that if you think your food is not going to have a long term impact on your relationship, you are mistaken. No one wants to be the guy whose wife can't cook. If you stop cooking for your husband, then be ready for everything that follows. This applies not only to desis, but most couples all across the world.
Re: complaining about food
no two people on earth can make tea that tastes exactly the same, and tea is so simple to make.
If the wife has genuinely tried to copy the MIL's to please her husband, then it is incumbent upon her husband to at atleast recognise and appreciate her efforts. No one's cooking is going to taste like his Mum's, he needs to grow up and accept that. Best thing would be for the hubby to actually follow his mum's recipe and see if he can pull it off (but in some families, that would make him less of a man).
Re: complaining about food
That's all cool and everything but I can tell you that after a hard day's work, if I am coming home and consistently eating food I don't particularly want in my mouth or stomach, it's going to have an effect on my marriage. That's just true. One should not criticize rizq, but that does not mean we don't have particular taste buds which we can't control. Eating dinner with family is one of the short occasions that can be enjoyed, and regularly eating food that I don't have the taste buds for will take away from that family time enjoyment. Not the say that that is the case with the OPs food ( it might or might not be), but l*et me tell all the ladies here that if you think your food is not going to have a long term impact on your relationship, you are mistaken.* No one wants to be the guy whose wife can't cook. If you stop cooking for your husband, then be ready for everything that follows. This applies not only to desis, but most couples all across the world.
That's too bad that after a hard day's work that you cannot appreciate your wife's hard day's work and can only focus on the shortcomings of the effort. Why let the Shaitan enter your marriage?---after all, you have 100% control of how you respond to the food being bland situation, you can let it effect your marriage or not. Why not just nip it in the bud by hiring someone who can cook, teach your wife to cook, or cook the dinner yourself?
What's the deal about be ready for the consequences of stopping to cook? Many of the women here work, just like their husbands or go to school full-time. If they make time to cook for their husbands, the hubbys need to be grateful and appreciative. What up with all this nashukrapan?
Re: complaining about food
My wife usually doesn’t give me any reason to complain about food, because she is a really good cook, Alhamdulillah. However she is a human being too, so mistakes do happen every now and then. In those cases I would still not point it out to her the way your husband does, which quite frankly is very inappropriate. Usually my wife is more critical of her own cooking than I am. 
Even if I would say something, which I almost never do because it’s rizk after all and she’s put in a lot of effort to make it, I do it in a light-hearted way.
Welcome back to GS Nia.
Re: complaining about food
May be you are really a bad cook.
Re: complaining about food
If she is that bad of a cook then he should start cooking. Criticizing her day and night will not make her a good cook.
Re: complaining about food
That's too bad that after a hard day's work that you cannot appreciate your wife's hard day's work and can only focus on the shortcomings of the effort. Why let the Shaitan enter your marriage?---after all, you have 100% control of how you respond to the food being bland situation, you can let it effect your marriage or not. Why not just nip it in the bud by hiring someone who can cook, teach your wife to cook, or cook the dinner yourself?
What's the deal about be ready for the consequences of stopping to cook? Many of the women here work, just like their husbands or go to school full-time. If they make time to cook for their husbands, the hubbys need to be grateful and appreciative. What up with all this nashukrapan?
I am very grateful. If my wife stops cooking for me I'd be like " I don't even know who you are anymore."
complaining about food
Maybe some of you guys should read what I actually wrote before giving advise.
Anyway I have tried my best. Done everything I could. It's not like anyone cooks for me when I come home so why should I do it especially when he doesn't appreciate my afford.
Re: complaining about food
homesick - I feel sorry for your wife after reading your views about marriage and women.
OP spends her day working hard too. So either the husband help her out with the cooking, or just suck it up and eat what he's served. and no, not all men are immature and selfish to make food decide whether their marriage is good or not. Tons of husbands actually help in the kitchen because these days both husband and wife work. In fact, that is a loving relationship - where both partners realize and empathize with each other and their tiredness and help each other out. And yes, if the wife doesn't work then she should cook. But that still doesn't warrant constant nagging from her husband. In OP's case, husband complains about food not being like his mom's. Well, shouldn't have married anyone then. The wife is not your mother.
Also, I've seen PLENTY of very happily married men who's wives can't cook. They are okay with what they get, or make the effort to cook themselves. Not act like children and make their wives feel like their subordinate. And if you think Islamically as well, Prophet Muhammad pbuh would NEVER complain about his wives' cooking. He'd eat whatever he was given gracefully and gratefully.
Re: complaining about food
homesick - I feel sorry for your wife after reading your views about marriage and women.
OP spends her day working hard too. So either the husband help her out with the cooking, or just suck it up and eat what he's served. and no, not all men are immature and selfish to make food decide whether their marriage is good or not. Tons of husbands actually help in the kitchen because these days both husband and wife work. In fact, that is a loving relationship - where both partners realize and empathize with each other and their tiredness and help each other out. And yes, if the wife doesn't work then she should cook. But that still doesn't warrant constant nagging from her husband. In OP's case, husband complains about food not being like his mom's. Well, shouldn't have married anyone then. The wife is not your mother.
Also, I've seen PLENTY of very happily married men who's wives can't cook. They are okay with what they get, or make the effort to cook themselves. Not act like children and make their wives feel like their subordinate. And if you think Islamically as well, Prophet Muhammad pbuh would NEVER complain about his wives' cooking. He'd eat whatever he was given gracefully and gratefully.
Sounds like an excerpt from "Paklinks feminist manifesto"
Re: complaining about food
Sounds like an excerpt from "Paklinks feminist manifesto"
I didn't even know such a thing existed.
How come you know so much about it?
Re: complaining about food
I didn't even know such a think existed. How come you know so much about it?
Oh it's there sister. I didn't know about it when I first joined, but with special access and a bit of thinking ( I don't do it too much, it hurts my head) I was able to decipher the codes.
Re: complaining about food
Oh it's there sister. I didn't know about it when I first joined, but with special access and a bit of thinking ( I don't do it too much, it hurts my head) I was able to decipher the codes.
You've only been here since January of this year.........do tell how you found it.
Lead us oh wise one!
Have you told him that his comments are hurtful and that you have tried hard to make food to his liking? If so, what did he say?
Re: complaining about food
Sounds like an excerpt from "Paklinks feminist manifesto"
This actually has nothing to do with feminism but with empathy and kindness towards your spouse which Islam preaches as well. I've seen you bring in Islam in a few of your posts, so I'm assuming you know how our Prophet pbuh was with his wives. I doubt he never helped them around or kept degrading their efforts. But it's ok...men who can't see that their wives need to be treated with proper love and respect usually scream 'feminism' at anything that remotely threatens their authoritative and egoistical world. You continue doing that and I continue feeling sorry for you and your wife.
Re: complaining about food
This actually has nothing to do with feminism but with empathy and kindness towards your spouse which Islam preaches as well. I've seen you bring in Islam in a few of your posts, so I'm assuming you know how our Prophet pbuh was with his wives. I doubt he never helped them around or kept degrading their efforts. But it's ok...men who can't see that their wives need to be treated with proper love and respect usually scream 'feminism' at anything that remotely threatens their authoritative and egoistical world. You continue doing that and I continue feeling sorry for you and your wife.
By feeling sorry for me, if you mean you will remember me in your duas then I will take it. I try my best but I am flawed. It's true, chaat masala keeps me going. I don't say anything to my wife, she just brings the chaat masala in the salt shaker when she brings the food and we are all good. Now if we run out of chat masala then there is going to be a need for some serious intervention. It's an unspoken truth between my wife and I, which is why she has a 6 month supply of chaat masala always available. BTW, anyone ever try chat masala on pop corn? It's a blast.
Re: complaining about food
That's all cool and everything but I can tell you that after a hard day's work, if I am coming home and consistently eating food I don't particularly want in my mouth or stomach, it's going to have an effect on my marriage. That's just true. One should not criticize rizq, but that does not mean we don't have particular taste buds which we can't control. Eating dinner with family is one of the short occasions that can be enjoyed, and regularly eating food that I don't have the taste buds for will take away from that family time enjoyment. Not the say that that is the case with the OPs food ( it might or might not be), but let me tell all the ladies here that if you think your food is not going to have a long term impact on your relationship, you are mistaken. No one wants to be the guy whose wife can't cook. If you stop cooking for your husband, then be ready for everything that follows. This applies not only to desis, but most couples all across the world.
Food has an effect on your marriage? That's weird. Why? Its readily available everywhere you go...if you can afford a six month supply of chat masala, you can afford takeout once in a while.
Also, from all of these childish posts - is there anything on this planet that does NOT affect a marriage?
To the OP:
You've spoiled him. You don't need to cook separately for him or indulge in these whims all the time. Cooking his favorite dish as a surprise or doing something nice for him is fine. Cooking exactly the way his mom cooks is not a requirement you have to fulfill. Pleeeeeeeeease do not get upset over this - no matter how big of a stink he makes. His mom has had a lifetime of cooking experience so I'd HOPE she was good by now. Next time he complains tell him "its okay honey, by the time I get to your mom's age I'll be an expert too".
Re: complaining about food
Reha refuse to cook for husband for a year come to this forum tell us how it went .
Re: complaining about food
Reha refuse to cook for husband for a year come to this forum tell us how it went .
This isn't about refusing to cook for husband, is it? Cooking is not an issue.
Did you read the OP's post at all? She IS cooking for her husband. She's doing her best and is frustrated because nothing seems to make him happy. No matter how hard she tries, he's not satisfied.
I think its sad when a man gets upset with his wife over not cooking exactly the way he wants. Its hurtful and mean because someone IS genuinely trying. If the man cannot see that and wants to use that as an opportunity to let it affect his marriage, then I find that pathetic. Treat others the way you want to be treated. She could also allow the marraige to be affected because you cannot provide her with the latest Fendi bag.