This is a question for people who are married.
Is it normal for husbands to criticise the cooking not because the wife is a bad cook but because it doesn’t taste like his mom used to make it or because the food doesn’t taste as he wants it to taste.
I am asking because I am sick of my husband always complaining about the way I cook food. I mean he knew I couldn’t cook Pakistani food before I got married! Never thought it would be an issue. After I got married I used to Skype his mom and she would help me with the recipe and tell me how to cook and stuff.
It’s been a year now I do exactly as his moms told me and still he complains and if I try to make a dish he ask me to make for the first time he always criticise even if he know that I never have tasted it before so I don’t know how it suppose to taste I just follow the recipe and I even ask him how to make it.
But now I am just so tried of him and I don’t like cooking for him anymore .
For the last 2 months I just stopped cooking for him everyday. I do it if I am in the mood for cooking or feel bad for him. I just can’t seem to find my self to cook for him anymore. Can’t really see the point in doing so anymore.
I love cooking for others and no one else ever complains. His friends are always telling him how the food is always good when they come over but he thinks its because of him.
If he is so unhappy with your cooking, he should learn to cook himself from his Mother, or grow up and appreciate what you are doing for him.Getting a cooked meal, and still complaining is very childish, immature and nah shukri on his part.
If someone is cooking and serving you food without you having to move a finger, shut up and eat it. If you don't like it, make a sammich yourself.
OP - no, what your husband is doing is not cool. Instead of appreciating your efforts, he is just pulling you down. Going forward, just make stuff YOU like - if he isn't going to appreciate it anyway, might as well please yourself, right?
I have a relative who is a HORRIBLE cook - she messes up everything and I'm not the only one to say this, guests are reluctant to take big servings of anything at her home. That being said, her kids think she's the most amazing cook in the world and mom se acha aur koi'ee nahin paka sakta.
So moral of the story - it's almost impossible to compete with mom's cooking, because it's less about how the food tastes and more about the love and sense of comfort a child derives from it. Kids will always be biased towards their mother's cooking, I think.
And as for not cooking - ignore what he says. Cook the meals and tell him that you don't need his commentary and he's welcome to not eat if he doesn't want to.
How is he with you otherwise? I mean if food is the only thing he is complaining about and he is otherwise normal, maybe you ought to improve your cooking. If he complains about everything you do and is nasty all the times, then it's a different story. Is there something else going on? Maybe something he is not happy with about you and criticizing your food maybe his outlet. Then again, your food could be really crappy and he's just telling you the truth. It is not nice to say things about the rizq, but he can nicely say that a,b,c things can be improved. I like spicy food and my wife always cooks bland food even though she knows I like spicy food and I have to always add chaat masala afterwards. She continues to cook the way she was taught and has not learned to cook the way I like. Is that grounds for divorce? If there was no chaat masala, maybe. So we owe our marriage to shaan chaat masala. Not Ahmed..they are Ahmedi
Let me know if I need to move this somewhere else b/c you posted it on the wrong thread.
OP here took the time to get recipes from her MIL and learn Pakistani dishes directly from her. OP actually stated that she loves cooking. So I have no idea how this is in ANY way related to what’s being discussed here.
Is it normal for husbands to criticise the cooking not because the wife is a bad cook but because it doesn't taste like his mom used to make it or because the food doesn't taste as he wants it to taste..
No its not normal.
For the last 2 months I just stopped cooking for him everyday.
And how is your husband reacting to this? Have you told him how you feel when he bashes your cooking?
Considering how many men complain their wives don't cook fresh meals everyday, your husband seems to be going in the other direction entirely. He is losing what he had.
Teach him the power of positive reinforcement. Ungrateful people don't usually get much goodness thrown their way after some time (in your case, a year).
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so you've stopped cooking regularly, what does he do/say?
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we had an arguement about it and I told him that if he wanted a cook he could have married one! I cook because I want to now because I am his wife. I told him that my dad never ever told mom that he didnt liked her cooking if there was a dish my dad didnt like he would either eat it anyway or just make something else. Then he began telling me how pakistani women cooks for their husbands etc. etc. but I was just sooo mad that I told him that why the hell did he marry me a girl raised and born in the west if he wanted a pure pakistani wife. Than he began saying that his moms does this and that etc. etc by the way he is always telling what his mom use to do. At that time I was just so tired of him that I told him okey if you want me to become your mom then I will become her and I told him him stay out of our marriage bed since in your head you want a mom and not a wife and thats what you will get!
now 2 months later he still complaining when I make food for him either their isnt enough masala or the meat isnt well done or the veggies are to raw etc.
have you tried agreeing with him?
I would try that.
him: "This meat is not well done. I'm just chewing and chewing. It's like rubber!"
you: "I know!!!! How awful is that?!! I'll have to make sure that I cook it longer next time." (smile innocently)
How is he with you otherwise? I mean if food is the only thing he is complaining about and he is otherwise normal, maybe you ought to improve your cooking. If he complains about everything you do and is nasty all the times, then it's a different story. Is there something else going on? Maybe something he is not happy with about you and criticizing your food maybe his outlet. Then again, your food could be really crappy and he's just telling you the truth. It is not nice to say things about the rizq, but he can nicely say that a,b,c things can be improved. I like spicy food and my wife always cooks bland food even though she knows I like spicy food and I have to always add chaat masala afterwards. She continues to cook the way she was taught and has not learned to cook the way I like. Is that grounds for divorce? If there was no chaat masala, maybe. So we owe our marriage to shaan chaat masala. Not Ahmed..they are Ahmedi
My food isnt crappy. I love to cook and bake bread and I am good at it. I am not a proffesional cook but just a normal humen being how loves to cook and people like my food because they are always asking me for the recipe of some dish I made when they where at my place. I am best at cooking seafood dishes. Beside I got a sister who are always very frank with me she tells me if something doesnt taste good.
we have only been living for a year and some month and we have never been nasty to eachother when we fight like calling names and stuff we dont do that.
Actually I always cooks two dishes. One for me and one for him and I always ask him what he wants and if I dont know how to make it I ask his mom or him so cant see what the problem is with him. I do NOT have to cook for him I did it because I wanted to not because I had to. I just cant understand why he cant just for once just eat the meal I make and not say anything! Its not like I am a stay a homewife
Sorry about the spelling mistaske I writing from a non english computer
have you tried agreeing with him?
I would try that.
him: "This meat is not well done. I'm just chewing and chewing. It's like rubber!"
you: "I know!!!! How awful is that?!! I'll have to make sure that I cook it longer next time." (smile innocently)
what do you think he would do then?
Yes I have! that what I used to say to him. I always said okey I will make it different the next time. But he crossed my limit. In the start I could understand it because I was still learning and I knew I was making mistakes but now it different I am not a newbie anymore
so let me get this right......you are cooking a separate dish for him and a separate one for yourself.....
how do you know that the one cooked for him tastes good?
or did you mention already that you don't know how it's supposed to taste?
