Re: Children molested by family members
^ i agree with u mneyes. he is not worth marrying.
everything i wanted to say has been said already, so i m not going to repeat all of it. But just wanted to say that the mother DOES need to inform everybody abt what happened. This will make sure it NEVER happens again to another girl in the family and to proctect other girls (outside the family) they need to inform the police abt this.
^ i agree with u mneyes. he is not worth marrying.
everything i wanted to say has been said already, so i m not going to repeat all of it. But just wanted to say that the mother DOES need to inform everybody abt what happened. This will make sure it NEVER happens again to another girl in the family and to proctect other girls (outside the family) they need to inform the police abt this.
you know rabia what i noticed about pakistani molesters (someone correct me if i am wrong) but they tend to do this when they are young and unmarried. After marriage they dont molest again...and they dont even think about molesting their own child. Just an observation I made upon hearing about stories like this and seeing the molestor later in life.
someone once told me this is the norm for the older generation in pak. it's out of curiosity since many of these guys have been sexually deprived of any physical/emotional intimacy or sex education..... NOT that it makes it right or anything! but it may be just that.
so what do you all think...curiousity? lack of education? or are they just pure perverts with mental issues?
it's unlike molesters in the west....they do it before marriage and continue even after having their own family...some even do it to their own children.
you know rabia what i noticed about pakistani molesters (someone correct me if i am wrong) but they tend to do this when they are young and unmarried. After marriage they dont molest again...and they dont even think about molesting their own child. Just an observation I made upon hearing about stories like this and seeing the molestor later in life.
someone once told me this is the norm for the older generation in pak. it's out of curiosity since many of these guys have been sexually deprived of any physical/emotional intimacy or sex education..... NOT that it makes it right or anything! but it may be just that.
so what do you all think...curiousity? lack of education? or are they just pure perverts with mental issues?
it's unlike molesters in the west....they do it before marriage and continue even after having their own family...some even do it to their own children.
interesting observation. I think they are just perverts.
my brothers and I was just discussing abt a cousin of mine who was INVOLVED with her mamu. Yes u read it right. anyways I dont knw all the details but i believe she was molested when she was really young (maybe 6-7) and as she was growing up she cont. cuz she didn't kw any better.
The whole family knew abt it (mother, older brothers...i dont thnk the father knew, and the extended family as well) but no one frm the extended family stopped it because well it seem like the parents didn't mind, the girl didn't mind thn who are they to say anything.
I think the mother not stopping her brother...kind a left the daughter hopeless and thats why she cont.
I rememeber as a child i was never allowed to play with those cousins of mine, and my dad told my mom to teach me to just say no (no to playing with them) when i met them at family functions. I didn't knw thn, but i wish somebody did something to stop the mamu.
she is married and has a son, and is very happy. ( things are normal with the mamu) i dont knw if the things cont.
Any man who wont marry a girl just because she was molested or raped is in my opinion NOT WORTH MARRYING!!!!!!
Totally agree.
I've always wondered when a girl has been raped or abused if the family usually tell the potential husband in the case of an arranged marriage later on? Islamically it is not necessary to disclose whether girl is a virgin or not and I would have thought that the family would prefer to let the girl herself decide to speak up on what happened if she feels she needs to. Is it the case in these situations that the families do usually make the 'potentials' aware of the situation or is it just that generally people in the community already know?
If it was my daughter I would go straight to the police no matter who had done it to her, even if it was my own brother. Family does not mean supporting people blindly when they do something u know is wrong and like others have pointed out if u don't speak up and do something who knows how many others the sicko will go on to molest.
and another things…its not only girls getting molested in pakistan (others countries too) my brother showed me this educational cartoon video on youtube about boys getting molested by other men such as truck drivers, car drivers etc.
look em up on youtube , they were an eye opener for me.
Re: Children molested by family members
^yeh it's pretty sad. They had a show on oprah about pedophilia. They showed manuals and books made to teach how to do stuff with infants even a month old. They also showed sex toys that these, basically criminals use on infants, toddlers and kids.
things like this happens during parties.....you know when you have so many people around that the parents cant keep an eye on their children. This is exactly how it started with my cousin. She was at a party and all the adults were busy mingling. She was playing in he room and her uncle walked right in. It takes only one second for things to start happening....it's just so sad :(
Parents!!! please protect your children and keep them close by...if you cant see them...then they are too far.
Oh goodness, just the thought scares me. Yes, we have to be conscious at all times. Never think this can't happen to us.
you know rabia what i noticed about pakistani molesters (someone correct me if i am wrong) but they tend to do this when they are young and unmarried. After marriage they dont molest again...and they dont even think about molesting their own child. Just an observation I made upon hearing about stories like this and seeing the molestor later in life.
someone once told me this is the norm for the older generation in pak. it's out of curiosity since many of these guys have been sexually deprived of any physical/emotional intimacy or sex education..... NOT that it makes it right or anything! but it may be just that.
so what do you all think...curiousity? lack of education? or are they just pure perverts with mental issues?
it's unlike molesters in the west....they do it before marriage and continue even after having their own family...some even do it to their own children.
These generalisations aren't true. My Dad's a psychiatrist and he's worked with a lot of these sorts of people. Regarding the first bit in bold, plentyof them do carry on molesting after marriage and they do often molest their own kids. Talking about this sort of stuff openly carries so much stigma in our communities that when a husband does it's more usual for the desi wife to turn a blind eye than one who's non-desi (sometimes out of fear, sometimes blind loyalty, sometimes 'what will the community think?' and so on). Secondly, there really is no difference in what 'levels' a molestor will stoop to whether they are in the West or 'back home.'
That reminded me of Javed Iqbal, that serial killer in Pakistan who molested and killed around 100 boys:
These generalisations aren't true. My Dad's a psychiatrist and he's worked with a lot of these sorts of people. Regarding the first bit in bold, plentyof them do carry on molesting after marriage and they do often molest their own kids. Talking about this sort of stuff openly carries so much stigma in our communities that when a husband does it's more usual for the desi wife to turn a blind eye than one who's non-desi (sometimes out of fear, sometimes blind loyalty, sometimes 'what will the community think?' and so on). Secondly, there really is no difference in what 'levels' a molestor will stoop to whether they are in the West or 'back home.'
so sad :(
^yeh it's pretty sad. They had a show on oprah about pedophilia. They showed manuals and books made to teach how to do stuff with infants even a month old. They also showed sex toys that these, basically criminals use on infants, toddlers and kids.
I saw that - it was so disturbing I couldn't watch!
Re: Children molested by family members
infants and toddlers? no way! i didnt think it started so young!! 
you know rabia what i noticed about pakistani molesters (someone correct me if i am wrong) .
Angel Eyes - I disagree.
They can be anyone. Most moslesters are everyday uncles, models citizens, part of community.
They seek out innocent kids - usually the ones that are shy, that won't say anything.
I forgot the show's name but they were talking a child molester in jail and how master manipulators they are.
First they will touch the hand. See if there is resistance. Then build trust. The kids are even too youg to realize what has happened. Even at the age of 12-15 they kids are just too insecure. Most won't even tell their parents and carry te guilt with them for the theri lives.
Re: Children molested by family members
here is one of the urdu educational cartoon i was ref. to earlier…there are few really bad once that u can check out on ur own. (they should be on the related videos)
The Mofu got what he deserved. He was found hanged in his cell, allegedly comitted suicide, but his body was full of torture marks, and likely is that he was tortured and then hanged in jail.
Re: Children molested by family members
^ glad to hear that.
Re: Children molested by family members
If I was the mother. I'd call up all the family and tell them that there's a little gathering. Invite the molester too. And then I'd go up to him and give him the most biggest slap that his cheek would go numb forever. humiliate him in front of the whole family, sort the story out straight in front of them and I wouldn't give a rat's arse if the family told anyone.
I'm sorry no-one would ever touch my daughter like that again. Who the hell does he think he is?!
If I was the mother. I'd call up all the family and tell them that there's a little gathering. Invite the molester too. And then I'd go up to him and give him the most biggest slap that his cheek would go numb forever. humiliate him in front of the whole family, sort the story out straight in front of them and I wouldn't give a rat's arse if the family told anyone.
I'm sorry no-one would ever touch my daughter like that again. Who the hell does he think he is?!
Omg that's an awesome idea for anyone that's been thru something like this. There's no reason to keep something like this a secret.
Your 12 years old daughter is molested by her unmarried, paternal cousin who is a good 12-14 years older than her. All of you really trusted this person and the girl even used to call him 'mama' for some reason. She tells her mom the very next day.
Unbelievable..
One of the girls I used to teach as a private tutor confided in me (I guess somehow a teacher appears as the next guardian after parents and the fact that she had a step mom so she was not very close to her mom and dad) that she was molested by her own cousin right in front of her grand father who said nothing when that was happening.
Re: Children molested by family members
^oh my god!! That's unbelievable! Disgusting!