It appears even I, made it to L & R:rolleyes:… Ok … wud like to ask all ye faithful for sum advice/ suggestions/ viewpoints, especially from the distinguished amongst u:salute:… Scenario is:
A divorced girl in her early 40’s… divorced with no children meets an “eligible” guy … he’s of similar age , divorced and has a child from his 1st marriage, is successful and a nice guy…
Issue:
**The girl who meets this guy thinks hes lovely BUT…isnt attracted to the guy in a physical/sexual sense…at her age , shes over the “Physical looks” side of stuff and certainly the guy is as well … what they both seek is happiness and compatibility again … both admit theyre scared … and approach their “new found” friendship with caution… enjoying one another’s company…BUT.****… the guy is very much interested in pursuing this through - the girl keeps trying to think beyond what she did have physically with her ex and seeing past that to what she potentially could have ( which is what she wanted in the 1st place!!) which is - the love of a good man, a relationship based on compatibility and respect …
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So… what do the wise amongst you think:hmmm:… should this girl “pursue” this relationship ?..realistically could this actually work?.. what she and he seek are essentially the same but can there be a relationship of man and wife without mutual intimacy/ connection?.. is this girl being totally ungrateful to Allah swt’s blessings and mercy?..**
All “sound” advice is welcomed … thanks in advance:k:
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Thanks blessed hun…ur rite .. maybe its an idea to have the girl raise this issue with the guy …as u say theyre both adults and they both need to make sure that its both what they want … thanks hun:k:**
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Thanks Diwana… the guy is wanting to pursue this but its the girl that isnt fully sure…nothing has been said but my friend shares her fears/ concerns which is what I shared with u all…**
Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to overcome it.
Now go my child. Be one with the universe and be at peace.
i'm cautiously liking your post CM.
poppies...as a girl i understand the hesitations of that girl. however...if you're not getting any gut feeling of something wrong. if the friendship relationship is good. if the guy is willing to forget or at least overcome the fact that you were married in the past...then why not go for it? sometimes initially you don't feel that attractiveness but once you change from friends to more than friends it just comes to you
** Hey murgi thanks so much hun… I think many of you that have responded have advised the same…both members involved are divorced and both understandibly are scared…and this is exactly what im hoping for my friend- to approach this “relationship” with an open view of getting to know this guy- of course its a two way thing and I just want her to not say no just because she isnt feeling “attracted” to this guy…I know as u get older ur more cautious of not making the same mistake again but inshallah if you give a chance to what I think is a good guy and shes a lovely girl , then I think she should not “dwell” on the negatives and only aim to see the life both could have… I think the concensus may also agree with me on this :k:**
you’re welcome poppies. sometimes to make things work you just have to jump into things and ignore that hesitation. i hope things work out for your friend
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Murgi - thanks sweets.. inshallah me also praying that things do pan out just right - its sooo lovely to see that both guys are being bestwowed with Allah swt’s blessings- by I believe both have been given a chance to “get it together” for a golden opportunity of love, happiness and inshallah prosperity Ameen.. cheers x**
.. Shak sweet mashallah tum Mod hote hue yeh kaise keh sakte ho .. yaar do brain cells se aur ek istimaal kiya ho ga parne mei, to itni mushkil par gi???.. Chi chi chi Shak … sharam ki baat hai .. uper se tum colour blind ho … me will pray for u … accha jao ji:wave:**
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.. Shak sweet mashallah tum Mod hote hue yeh kaise keh sakte ho 