Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

I think the quoted hadees are fake and fabricated - Allah 's last messenger Muhammad PBUH hasn't said a single thing which doesn't make sense to an average mind

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

No one bothers about his preferences - he is free to live with them - the objection arises when some one like him paints his stupid ideas with color of religion without knowing the real essence of the religion they think they follow :)

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

And btw Mr so naiK and parSa - why don't you look for your wife within your family and friends ? Or you think they also have had per marital relationships ?

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

Well, yeah, from what I understand if you don’t have a shariah-countenanced reason to reveal a past sin (one that you have left behind and repented for) the norm is you don’t share it. They go a bit into the reasons why in the link I shared in my previous post. According to this answer you still have the option of sharing the past sin, and it might be wise to do so if you think that it could cause more hurt down the road if you conceal the sin.

Present sins are different from past sins from what I understand, this answer talks a bit about whether or not to share current sins with a prospective spouse. Also, others have an obligation to honestly share what they know of your character if asked by a prospective spouse, as marriage is no small thing, zina is a very grave sin and knowing about a person’s character before marrying them is important.

As for cruelty, I suppose I should have been more clear there. Being hurt because you were lied to by your spouse, especially if it is something important to you, is valid and understandable and nobody should shame you for feeling hurt. I don’t want to devalue the fact that deception in a marriage is harmful, and lying to a Muslim generally is unlawful. But the idea is if a person sinned, but then repented, they’re actually following Allah SWT’s laws by not sharing their past. Concealing their past is a part of cleaning up their act, and if they’re otherwise striving to be a good Muslim and spouse and haven’t let that past interfere with the marriage, yeah I do think it is harsh to divorce them. Certainly it is within the rights of the deceived partner to dissolve their marriage. If I found myself in that situation though, as important as my future partner’s virginity is to me (and it is very important to me that I be with someone who understands the gravity of zina and strives to avoid it, as I have striven to avoid it), I would try to look past that and focus on who my partner is now, rather than who he once was (provided he has changed). Hopefully that makes more sense now?

Also I feel like I should clarify at this point I’m no Islamic scholar! Hope I haven’t screwed up in my attempts to explain my understanding of the Islamic perspective.

Firstly no, I wouldn’t consider it cruel if someone, regardless of gender, left a spouse who cheated, I don’t think it would be considered cruel Islamically either. I think the rulings I mentioned are about past versus present sins in general, without considering pre-nikah or post-nikah. So if a person X cheated on spouse Y, applying the general ruling to the situation would mean X should immediately cease from sinning, repent, conceal the sin from everyone, and work on being the kind of spouse Y deserves. But this is a delicate case and the Islamic thing to do would probably be to consult someone with knowledge, i.e. an Islamic scholar, in addition to a marriage counselor before applying the ruling, since Y finding out some other way would really be painful and at this point they’ve been wronged enough, tbh.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

if the man is someone like you then…:wub:

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

How does that have anything to do with anything? They have plenty of discussions of that sort (less important even) in the west too. Just over the past couple of years they’re trying to decide whether kids praying segregated in a school is against gender equality and debating whether women wearing hijab/niqab is a violation of women’s rights.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

By that logic any hadees u dont understand must b fabricated i quoted u the ahadith with references.. those who make their living from interest dont like the ahadith vs it..prophet saw said islam came as something strange and it will leave as something strange so blessed be the strangers.. there is.a reason we have the ulama. Not everyone is going to comprehend the religion... just because u dont like the verdict of a hadith does not give u the right to reject it.. this is the habit of the jews and christians who changed in the religion whatever part they didn't like.. I am sorry to hear about your criteria for accepting or rejecting a hadith.. reminds me of how so many women refuse to accept that islam allows man more than.one wife with conditions.. u hear them saying islam does not allow man more than one wife..not realizing they are jrecting the quran directly.. prophet saw referres to the different periods of gestation in some ahadiths.. how many "normal" people understood that.. did they reject it based on that criteria.. how much sense did that hadihadith make to sahabas at that time?

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So then I have to ask , you don't think that makes you a hypocrite? That you expect someone to have exhibited self control when you can't do the same yourself for your weaknesses?

I don't think anyone here is judging you for wanting a girl who has been conservative in her interactions with men and better yet has had none. It's your lack of understanding for another persons circumstances and not seeing the bigger picture which is clouded by a clash of culture and religious beliefs.

I am a woman and there are many on here so isn't it against Islam that your talking to us online ? Online or in person, what difference does it make? Your still engaging with us. Does Islam have rules on this or will we continue to stay ignorant?

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

Well may be you dont know the way of quoting a Hadess ( Mind it here you are replicating the words of Hazrat Muhammad ( PBUH) so you must be safe then sorry ) - When an Aalim quotes a hadees , he quotes it with chain of whom he or the one who told/taught that hadees learnt it . It aint as easy as going on a website and copy pasting it - Shabas mostly heard it from Hazrat Muhammad and others authentic shahbis , even on that , when ever they quote a hadees , they start it like ' I have heard ( name of person ) saying this on behalf of ( name of narrator ) that he have heard Allah's last Messenger ( PBUH) saying '' .................................... '' .

Any Hadees which doesnt has a backing of a quranic verse or an event of Seerat-e-Muhammadi . it is indeed Zaeef and Fabricated !

And on a side note , I Dont think any sane and educated woman argues about the right of polygamy given to the man - in 99 % cases they argue regarding its wrong implementation.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

Hahaaaaa I have only seen these messages now. That's hilarious :D. I do want to work though as I have a really good, non-stressful job and plus, OP seems abit too judgemental for me anyways. If a person can't forgive someone for some mistakes they've done in the past...you don't know what else they won't forgive.

I always wanted to meet someone who hasn't had a pre-marital relationship, however, if I meet the ''perfect'' male, who'd treat me with so much respect and honesty and is very loving and is a better muslim...I'd overlook that totally and leave that between him and Allah swt.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

^ Never mind. You want to work and OP believes a woman's place is at home (ie. one of his previous threads) so that's a dealbreaker. And at this point, it looks like the fact that you've chatted with males on an online forum might be an issue too. You missed out on a great guy by not being religious enough and allowing the West to corrupt you. ;)

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

. Look at what you are doing. First you say that you don't believe in any hadith that doesn't make sense to a "normal" mind..then you go on to say that not everyone should be quoting ahadiths, but only if you know the complete chain. Do you see the contradiction? How many "normal" minds know the complete chian of any hadith. Probably not a single person on this forum knows a single hadith with the full chain of narrators..what all the different versions and variations in chain..that way 1 single hadith can have 10 different chains of narration.. And no, not every hadith needs to be quoted with the full chain of narrarators, if that were the case, no one would be able to share any hadits with anyone else. You can quote a hadith without the chain of narrators as long as it comes from the sahi collection (i.e bukhari, muslim, abu daood, tirmidid, ahmed etc.) Please lets not get in to the science of Hadith narration...that is something for the muhaditts...they have already done that by compiling the above mentioned collections..sahi bukahri for example has a consensus between all the major ulaama of all suni sects as being Sahi... which brings to mind the next question, or you even Sunni..because if you are shia( and you are certainly sounding like one given you skepticism for sahi hadits) I am just wasting my time trying to correct you about hadits.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

isn't this as simple as:

he's allowed to have any preference he wants.
he may reject someone for having a past because his faith allows him that. (pious)
he would attain a greater level of piety if he were to forgive someone their past and marry them anyway. (more pious)

so what's the issue?
the way I see it, it's about how pious he is.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

:hehe:

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

Dont forget to pray shukrana nafl namaz(Nafls to thank Allah).Jaan bachi tu lakhon paye!
May Allah SWT save you from evil,the devil and the devil in disguise.

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

I don't know Paheli...there's something about leaving your wife or husband because of a past that is over and done with that irks me. I cannot imagine what that would even look like.

People cover up a lot of stuff in their past - everyone has some sort (big or small) skeletons in their closets. If my husband left me because he got upset that I dated a guy ten years ago - well I'd say there's the door buddy and make sure you shut it behind ya.

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hi nadii

Aoa u care to chat!?

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Re: hi nadii

Say what?

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Re: hi nadii

ZOMG! YESSS!

asl plz

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Re: Can I find a girl who hasnt had a pre marital

As they in America you always marry someone else's girlfriend ;). Tough it out chap we've all been there.