Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
my question is dat can man change his bad habbits after passing some years...should a wife wait for him dat he will change one day? for example taunting,beating,abusing,treating her wife so badly...
taunting, weird habits, etc can be changed.
beating and abuse...you need to get the hell out of there
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
I found this poem by Paulette Kelly that I want to share with you.
pretty powerful poem and so true about volatile relationships
*I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today,
And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage
and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today*
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
:(
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
human husband man boy with beady eyes cannot change his behaviour.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
no.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Going to any court, in any part of the world, for a desi female is akin to her prostituting herself. That's just what I've come to understand.
Still better than dealing with the physical abuse/tormenting IMO... If women start reporting this everytime this happens, they will help themselves (generate a fear), and desi men will never hit them again.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Easier said than done.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
haha this is some funny shiz! this one part he was just walking by and she tasered his neck! LOL that resembles some of the femi-nazi 'bajiz/aunties' here on this forum! haha
lol. another point, whem someone tasering someone they better not touch their body cuz they will also be tasered.
learnt this from a covert spy's show.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Still better than dealing with the physical abuse/tormenting IMO... If women start reporting this everytime this happens, they will help themselves (generate a fear), and desi men will never hit them again.
Don't disagree, but I was just saying that that's how things are why you aren't likely to find women going to report abuse.
lol. another point, whem someone tasering someone they better not touch their body cuz they will also be tasered.
learnt this from a covert spy's show.
...how...what...I don't even...
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
In all honesty, change depends on the person.If a husband has been beating his wife for numerous years,then without doubt he can never change.If he does change,he has caused so much emotional trauma to the wife that she can never forgive him.Our prophet(SAW) said that if you want to know the true colours of a person,you can do that by observing them when they are angry. I think that change can happen depending on the situation,if your husband is a heavy smoker then he can stop but for that to happen, He has to have a strong willpower.If a man is rude then he can change for the better by respecting you,but forgiving that man doe not mean forgetting what he did.Once trust is broken then it is hard to build that trust:)
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Still better than dealing with the physical abuse/tormenting IMO... If women start reporting this everytime this happens, they will help themselves (generate a fear), and desi men will never hit them again.
you're totally right
i can see how generating a fear in the man will tame him a bit but seeing the mentality of such people that are abusive(verbally and/or physically), it takes a lot for them to actually change, a visit to jail might not be enough but i guess it's worth a try, all i was saying was, there's no guarantee that he has changed after law enforcement is notified so her life might be in danger after he becomes more angry b/c she called the police.
i guess what would be better is a restraining order(which i really don't know much about and how it is in dubai) which would prevent him from coming near her after she calls the police. all this is something she needs to come up with on her own and get herself ready for life afterwards. i'm guessing her self esteem is already low from all the taunting and verbal abuse.
in the thread on how many would marry a divorced person, not too many desi men were so eager to marry such a woman so life will be hard for her
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Good lord your husband is a scumbag.
I hope it all works out for you.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
So do women...........period.
How is this related to the topic at hand? Or was this just because you didnt like what I posted?
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
I found this poem by Paulette Kelly that I want to share with you. pretty powerful poem and so true about volatile relationships
*I got flowers today. It wasn't my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night, And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today, And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers...today*
So he kept her in flowers from start to the end :@:
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
^the gist of the poem is that there is a cycle with such volatile relationships, be abusive, feel sorry by giving gifts, things seem normal for a little while, the tension builds again, be abusive, feel sorry by giving gifts. It doesn't change believe me, why do they feel that giving gifts somehow erases all the abuse, i just don't understand that, do all these scary things and then give a present like all the trauma and pain is forgotten and forgiven.
why is it taken so lightly in our desi society. even that mehreen syed, the model was saying how her uncle and brother beat her when she said she wanted to go into modeling. It isn't really seen as a crime
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
You live in Dubai Sana, you need to report this. If everyone kept quiet **** like this would keep happening again and again. This place has laws against marital abuse and they're implemented. Seriously, you need to buckle up and pray for strength to move on from this POS.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
my marriage is just 5 months old..no kid..thnx ALLAH... inshallah ALLAH will help me and hopfully i will able to leave him...as soon as possible.. actually when he fought,after dat he apologise to me bt after few days again,,, right now he beat me 3 times...and lots of time torcher me..i wan to get rid of..bt i dun knw how?my all family supports me bt i know when my family talks to his family..they will solve the problem bt i hav to suffer in the room with him coz already 2 times my family talks to hi family bt i get to know its there habit.. i decide when this time he beat me i will not stay his home and call my family to take me...im sure after dat i dunt hav "pachtawa"
Sana your words Thanks Allah for not having kids clearly indicates that you don't see a future with this man , you don't feel safe with him , he is clearly not a good husband and you forsee you children suffering in this marriage too. So quite clearly you know there is no future with him. I know your feeling when you said "Thank Allah" for not having kids. It's the fear that you will be tied to this man even when you want to leave him. Shaadi ek do din ki baat nahi hai think about your future , you children's future , your parents they did not raised you to bear such harsh abuse and I am telling you they must be suffering more than u to see u in pain. Your life is precious don't let yourself become a target to someone's barbarism. Achi tarah socho don't wait for him to hit you again you never know when he might beat you too much. There should not be any pachtawa and your pachtawa should not be dependent on one more beating session from him.
I fully support the idea of giving marriage a chance but please draw a line for yourself and value your life.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
thnx to all who adviced me...
i came back to my home from 6 days..he didnot call me and he did not sms me...so it means he can live without me...i came with my family..i called them in his home...i brought my all things with me...it was his mistake as usuall...so at last i finally decide to leave him...right now there is no news about him and his family...let see when they will contact with me...
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
I hope all works out for the best for your future. Stay strong!
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour…
awsum