my question is dat can man change his bad habbits after passing some years…should a wife wait for him dat he will change one day?
for example taunting,beating,abusing,treating her wife so badly…
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
No
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
If he's beating you it is very unlikely that he will ever change his ways. It's better that you escape now then after years of abuse, when your physically and emotionally scarred.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
It's unlikely that he will change.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
not unless he has therapy. Even then, old habits die hard.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
people generally dont change. and bad habits go away mushkil say.
like even if i quit being mean, it wudnt change the fact i have a bad temper.it would come out one day resulting me to be mean again
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Women get married in a hope that their husbands with change, men get married in a hope that their wives have accepted all of their flaws, and that is where we girls go wrong!!! NOPE, bad habits are hard to get rid off unless the person willingly wants to change himself BUT there's no guarantee whether it will be a permanently switch off because they have done it consistently. HARSH REALITY OF LIFE!!!.. DONT WASTE UR LIFE IN A HOPE THAT SOMEONE WILL CHANGE ESPECIALLY MEN...
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
is he open to the idea of going to a marriage counselor or a therapist, does he realize he himself needs to make an effort to change or is he oblivious to this abusive, hurtful behavior of his.
also OP are you correcting any of your own bad behavior? that's why i think a third unrelated person will be able to objectively help you two get your marriage fixed like a marriage counselor, if you can afford something like that and if you still love him after all the abuse and taunting that he's done
just putting all this out there, if you have kids and you get a divorce, it will be very difficult for you get married again especially in our desi society so think really really hard about other options before thinking about something as extreme as divorce.
PS:sanadubai, hope you actually visit this thread again, unlike your other one.....:p
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
my marriage is just 5 months old..no kid..thnx ALLAH...
inshallah ALLAH will help me and hopfully i will able to leave him...as soon as possible..
actually when he fought,after dat he apologise to me bt after few days again,,,
right now he beat me 3 times...and lots of time torcher me..i wan to get rid of..bt i dun knw how?my all family supports me bt i know when my family talks to his family..they will solve the problem bt i hav to suffer in the room with him coz already 2 times my family talks to hi family bt i get to know its there habit..
i decide when this time he beat me i will not stay his home and call my family to take me...im sure after dat i dunt hav "pachtawa"
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
unfortunately human nature never changes ....
leave him now while you have the chance...good luck
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour…
a big hug for what all of you are going through:hugz:
if you see it as suffering through being with him alone in a room…
do you love him even after he abuses you like this? knowing his personality better than any of us here, do you think one day he’ll change? i think you’re already at the point of thinking about divorce looking your comment here, if you have the support of your loved ones, then think about how your life will be after divorce, get ready for all the ups and downs of leaving him.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Wife beating is a serious crime, and it should be punished with some time in jail. Only then can 'he' change.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
:(
Hunny, only you can help yourself, so please do. If you have support from your family use it. And please don't wait for if he will hit you again, because HE WILL. Walk out now. I hope ALLAH helps you through all this, iA'.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
You are in Dubai...correct? I believe they have laws about marital abuse, I am sure you can get him incarcerated. Also, I agree with what others are saying... LEAVE!NOW!.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Pretty much every country has laws against domestic abuse, even Pakistan. One of our famous celebrities, Moin Khan (former wicket keeper and captain of Pakistan) once hit his wife and she got his arse thrown in jail! That's how some people would learn not to do it again.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour…
^ Well said.
Personally when I saw the thread title I thought it was another refernce to a Man addicted to Pornography… 
I think bad habits like, Boorish behaviour, addictions to things like ciggaretes and those sorts of “bad habbits” yes with time and dedication these habbits can be broken.
I would not call being abusive, bullying/beating and taunting as habbits they are serious problems that need some sort of treatment ASAP and ideally they should never become habbits in the first place…
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Wife beating is a serious crime, and it should be punished with some time in jail. Only then can 'he' change.
abusive men that verbally abuse or taunt and physically hurt their SO have major control and anger issues. i can say from being around a man like that in college, that i bet she's scared of him and of calling the police and in turn putting him in jail. when he is finally let free this is somebody that knows everything about her, she has to deal with this person if he does get angrier from the action of putting him in jail and the shame that he will feel.
I feel like it won't be something that would cause him to change, it would just bring out more anger in him. a bit concerned for her safety if that was done
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
my marriage is just 5 months old..no kid..thnx ALLAH... inshallah ALLAH will help me and hopfully i will able to leave him...as soon as possible.. my all family supports me bt i know when my family talks to his family..they will solve the problem bt i hav to suffer in the room with him coz i decide when this time he beat me i will not stay his home and call my family to take me...im sure after dat i dunt hav "pachtawa"
Allah Miyan helps those who move their haath/pair and help themselves. There is no excuse for him hitting you....however I do think that you should reflect on any mistakes that you might be making in the marriage. For example, and I may be wrong, but I get a sort of needy/dependent vibe from your posts. If I recall correctly, you live only 15 minutes away from your parents and I think that you can manage to visit your parents by yourself without having to wait for your husband to take you there or having someone from your family come to pick you up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you may have mentioned in your previous thread that one of your husband's complaints was that he feels you ask him (rather frequently) to take you to your parents' home. Again, I'm not saying that's any justification for him to hit you...but it's something to reflect over.
The other point that I want to make is that....knowing the social stigma that divorce carries......your family might be afraid of you possibly getting a divorce.....and their idea of "helping/supporting" you might be to continue their "talks" with your husband and his parents for (God knows how long?) to try and keep you in the marriage.........when that might be ineffective and even dangerous. Your parents and siblings will NEVER fully understand what it feels like to be in your situation because they're not in it. That said......you can't be dependent upon them to save you. You know your situation better than them......and if you believe that your husband is not going to change and that things are only getting worse.....then YOU need to leave him and put an end to things if nothing is helping. You can't always wait for someone else (like your family)...you have to use your own sense/judgment...and move your own hands and feet as well.
You can try suggesting professional counseling/therapy to your husband. But that's no guarantee that he'll change. The consistent physical abuse comes from deep-rooted anger and control issues...and that's hard to overcome even with therapy. Also, he might not be open to counseling.....or he might lie and say that he'll go for it, but then he either won't go or he won't be regular. Again, you know the state of your marriage better than we on this forum (or your parents, for that matter) do. If you know things are dysfunctional beyond repair....then get out yourself...instead of waiting for someone to drive up in a car and escort you to safety. This may also entail you having to stand up to family and making your own decisions. Whatever step you take (whether it's to continue waiting, stay in the marriage, or divorce) will have consequence...so really think about what you want to do. And start doing things for yourself.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
beating and abusing are serious enough not to wait for others some times should be given.
Re: can husband/man change his bad behaviour.....
Sana, considering what you told us about your husband previously, while I'm saddened to learn that things have escalated to the point of physical violence, I am not surprised. This time, please don't believe that a simple talk by your family members with your husband will solve anything. It takes courage to take the next step, and I hope things do work out for you