Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
wouldn't it be easier to bring the parents over and have them live (or live with them) nearby?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
wouldn't it be easier to bring the parents over and have them live (or live with them) nearby?
Maybe there are travel/visa/money issues that can prevent that?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
wouldn't it be easier to bring the parents over and have them live (or live with them) nearby?
yeah but wife does not want them at HER home. Also not all the parents have necessary documents (visa) to come from Pakistan and live indefinitely here in west. Assuming that its one of the case, will it justify the act?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
....according to the OP, they were coming over to live with the couple..?
D6ch: I think that would justified.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
^^Yes he will be justified, TOTALLY.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
No. Not without his wife's permission unless he's planning to divorce her.
If she does not agree then it's her loss, you're a doctor that means you're rich so that means you can arrange for a naukrani for parents.
That's cheap !
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Well I don't know what kind of grand parents you are dealing with, I do appreciate that it varies a bit depending on the nature, structure and dynamics of each family. Our grand parents never made any decisions for us that would go against what our parents wanted. However as kids when we were out of order, our grand parents sorted us out the way our parents would. It didn't piss anyone off. Neither us nor our parents were ever upset about our grand parents telling us how to act and dress appropriately. Its a matter of respect really. But yeah, like I said, it varies depending on each family.
Ditto. But nope these girls can't understand it. Too much star plus dramas.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
People are giving their general opinion here.... but in reality in pakistan.... mostly all women treat their FILs and MILs with respect and if they r living in joint family system they do all their work too like make 3 times meal,clean their rooms wash their clothes( themselves or with help of maid)...I m not saying women love them but i see most of them respect n help their in laws...
On the other hand .... most of the men go to their in laws for couple of hours,sit there like they r the King of the world in drawing rooms...served with the best dishes... thats it....they dont like their in laws to come n stay with them or donot help them financially ..... if they need it...
So watever the women r saying its not like they r going to do this.... practically men's behaviour with their in laws is worse...
Lastly , wife should take care of their in laws ,morally but islamically Allah gave this duty to the son to take care of their parents...its a fact ...i m not justifying DILs here.... but dont make lame excuses to get away from this responsibilities ,like u have to work ...u r not working 24 * 7 .... U can adjust the timings with your wife so that one of u can be at home ...or if ur kids r old enough they can help too...not all in laws r veryyy sick.... MIL and FIL can take care of each other too...u can get a part time helper...there r thousand ways .... wat is it that men would divorce their wives for not doing it....its pathetic.... this means that if ur wife is doing something wrong then u r doing the same wats the difference?
Ps ... I m not pointing any one of u...just my thoughts....
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Without his wife's permission? Or is wife's agreement necessary?
What if the wife does not agree and parents need to be taken care of. What choices does he have in such a case?
Well, they are his parents...his responsibility. So essentially her agreement is not necessary but to create livable circumstances...its imperative for everyone to be on the same page.
He has no choice, he has to bring them home. Simple.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If a couple has been living alone for a while or yrs and all of a sudden a man brings home his parents his wife's responsibilities increase as well her freedom reduce. also the way she runs her house or brings up kids becomes subject to continous criticism. most parents do interfere a lot no matter how sick or old. all this adds stress on her and the household in general as well on husband wife relation. so its very important to discuss this issue with the wife. a man shouldn't just force it on her wife. she married her and not them. whatever she does for them is islamically not her obligation but her hasanat. also the couple can talk about ways where may be they can hire some extra help if they can afford to reduce some of wife's workload. coz its mostly her who will serve them and tolerate the heat, not him. he'll just go to office, come back, sit and talk to them for a while and go to bed.if the husband asks her wife nicely and be supportive and understands that wat she is doing for his parents is her extra niceness, most wives do serve their inlaws when time comes. but in the end we all want to be respected if we serve inlaws and in return see ingratitude and unhappy faces who wants to do it.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
This is not about me. I would kill myself before i have to take permission from my wife to bring my parents home.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Why a man needs to ask a woman ?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
A man doesn't need permission from his wife to have his aging parents stay with them. The wife should have a heart and should actually suggest they move in with them if they're old.
The wife also does not need her husband's permission to have her aging parents stay with them. The husband should have a heart and should actually suggest they move in with them if they're old.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
if the wife doesn't give permission, then he really shouldn't bring home them home. and even if he does, he shouldn't expect his wife to take care of them. they are not her parents, so not her responsibility. If my husband wanted to bring his parents to our home, i wouldn't really care but i dont think i would be taking care of them. and i wouldn't let them interfere with my life and my kids
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
if the wife doesn't give permission, then he really shouldn't bring home them home. and even if he does, he shouldn't expect his wife to take care of them. they are not her parents, so not her responsibility. If my husband wanted to bring his parents to our home, i wouldn't really care but i dont think i would be taking care of them. and i wouldn't let them interfere with my life and my kids
A very good reason to keep your wife chained to the stove, right where she belongs.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Framing the issue as "can a man invite his parents" makes the issue combative. No, the husband should not have to ask permission of his wife, there should be mutual understanding and consideration for one another's parents and their needs.
Rather, there should be a discussion and compromise by all members of the family (husband, wife and in-laws) to determine the best living situation and what roles and responsibilities each member of the family has and how mutual respect and self-determinism of each person is ensured in the joint family system.
Problems arise when people's feelings and expectations are taken for granted. Discussion, empathy and compromise are needed to make relationships works.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
I soooo much agree to the highlighted part… :no: Before men point their fingers towards women, they should look into their garebaan first. As they say , “Auron ko naseehat and khud miyaan fazeehat” 
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
A very good reason to keep your wife chained to the stove, right where she belongs.
It is said hubby should start making kids immediately after marriage so she keeps busy with kids. so day time chained to kids and stove and night time chained to hubby......
Beychari jaey toa jaey kahan
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
My own grandparents have absolutely no input into how we live our lives (they live thousands of miles away tho they are pretty liberal anyway) but I do know of girls from more traditional families whose elders do tell them they must dress a certain way eg. must wear hijab, shouldn't wear western clothes apart from school uniform, shouldn't marry out of their caste let alone their race..
i don't see anything wrong with grandparents giving their input on certain things, esp when dad has no problem. plus not everyone has what it takes to see their daughters, grand daughters in booty shorts like you want.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If wife is not agreeing to bring the parents home, then will husband be justified in going back home for extended period? Lets say couple of years? (assuming that couple is our of Pakistan and Parents are in Pakistan).
Will wife be justified in even complaining in this case? I mean man has granted wife's wish of not inviting parents to *HER home... *
PS: Personally I believe it should not come to "permissions" in couple. Both should help each other in such times. Sometimes worst thing you can do is go by book.
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