Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
FFS! 
there is a very clear difference between hiring a naukar to help you take care of your parents and leaving it to the naukars to take care of your parents.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Well I don't know what kind of grand parents you are dealing with, I do appreciate that it varies a bit depending on the nature, structure and dynamics of each family. Our grand parents never made any decisions for us that would go against what our parents wanted. However as kids when we were out of order, our grand parents sorted us out the way our parents would. It didn't piss anyone off. Neither us nor our parents were ever upset about our grand parents telling us how to act and dress appropriately. Its a matter of respect really. But yeah, like I said, it varies depending on each family.
My own grandparents have absolutely no input into how we live our lives (they live thousands of miles away tho they are pretty liberal anyway) but I do know of girls from more traditional families whose elders do tell them they must dress a certain way eg. must wear hijab, shouldn't wear western clothes apart from school uniform, shouldn't marry out of their caste let alone their race..
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Bravo! Its a matter of setting the priorities straight. If a man's wife would rather focus on her career than to help her man take care of his parents (unless her income is needed to keep the household running), he is better off without her.
Then so be it.
Pehlay shohar kay bachay paalo aur phir uss kay parents bhi! Bravo!
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Then so be it.
Pehlay shohar kay bachay paalo aur phir uss kay parents bhi! Bravo!
Mashallah ji, bohot aala!
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
^Shukria.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
The husband couldnt take a leave, bcoz wife's salary wont cover the expenses, they have kids in professional colleges.
That doesnt change the fact that it is the guys responsibility to take of HIS parents, who is he to tell her to quit? If the wife decides to take time off or something to care for her inlaws thats totally her call, and she should be appreciated for it. But its not her duty to quit.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Then so be it.
Pehlay shohar kay bachay paalo aur phir uss kay parents bhi! Bravo!
lol hareem, shohar kay bachay kiya sirf shohar kay hi bachay hian...?
un ko paal kar ehsaan thori kiya ja raha hay...they are part of a woman
han husband kay parents ko "paal" kar ehsaan ho ga zaroor but uski jaza Allah mian dain gay...nothing is wrong with being nice to your husband's parents....and btw you dont need to paalofy his parents...they just demand attention, love n care.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
lol hareem, shohar kay bachay kiya sirf shohar kay hi bachay hian...?
un ko paal kar ehsaan thori kiya ja raha hay...they are part of a woman
han husband kay parents ko "paal" kar ehsaan ho ga zaroor but uski jaza Allah mian dain gay...nothing is wrong with being nice to your husband's parents....and btw you dont need to paalofy his parents...they just demand attention, love n care.
Agar bachay paalna aur ghardari kerna itna easy hota tau Prophet(SAW) kabhi iss ko Jihad ka darja na qarar detay. I agree that it's a woman's niceness and kindness to do her husband's parents' lookafter but she's no way obliged to leave her career or job to take care of them hence she should be respected by her husband for whatever decision she makes.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
its obvious from input here, with time we are following the same path as other "modern world" and a family doesnt include grand parents in the family any more, specially the female lot here tend to salvage in laws far far away from "personal" life that includes their son very much to the core but where he comes from is just forgotten part of history. parents are precious, do whatever you can to comfort them in old age, just like the did or tried to do provide a decent life to you. dont treat parents in law different from your own parents. In my case my parents, though doesnt live with us yet, but soon they will and they dont have the luxury to choose different son to live. wives just need to understand grand son and daughters have the right to have time with grand parents too. wish no parents become or feel like obligation to any of their off springs, cause world is getting material more and more!
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
You lot need to learn the difference between normal and exceptional circumstances. A woman struggling to make ends meet has hired a caretaker for her mother, that means everybody should hire naukars for their parents. Bravo! Its a matter of setting the priorities straight. If a man's wife would rather focus on her career than to help her man take care of his parents (unless her income is needed to keep the household running), he is better off without her.
I have to agree with this. I think most of you are bringing up extreme circumstances which, while unfortunate, do not represent the majority of cases where couples have moved out of the inlaws' homes.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If wife is not agreeing to bring the parents home, then will husband be justified in going back home for extended period? Lets say couple of years? (assuming that couple is our of Pakistan and Parents are in Pakistan).
Will wife be justified in even complaining in this case? I mean man has granted wife's wish of not inviting parents to HER home...
PS: Personally I believe it should not come to "permissions" in couple. Both should help each other in such times. Sometimes worst thing you can do is go by book.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
here we go again ...uff
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
I have to agree with this. I think most of you are bringing up extreme circumstances which, while unfortunate, do not represent the majority of cases where couples have moved out of the inlaws' homes.
so you're fine with one divorcing his wife coz the wife wants to concentrate on her career rather than taking care of her inlaws?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If the parents are extremely sick, like in the cases outlined above and the wife refuses to help them out or take care of them, then yes I think she is being selfish. Career can be developed later as well, if someone is sick, they won't be around forever.
For a person who is terminally ill, I do agree that having a caretaker makes sense and is not cruelty, better to have someone whose professionally trained to deal with these things. but a caretaker is not a substitute for love and care family members can, and should, provide.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If the parents are extremely sick, like in the cases outlined above and the wife refuses to help them out or take care of them, then yes I think she is being selfish. Career can be developed later as well, if someone is sick, they won't be around forever.
For a person who is terminally ill, I do agree that having a caretaker makes sense and is not cruelty, better to have someone whose professionally trained to deal with these things. but a caretaker is not a substitute for love and care family members can, and should, provide.
so you're saying it is okay to divorce her if she doesn't want to take care of her father in law or mother in law?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
life isn't that black and white.
most men are not so crazy as to throw divorce at the drop of a hat. for the most part, the decision to divorce is the fault of both parties. Not just one.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hiring someone to help you in taking care of your parents/parents-in-law if you can afford it. If you are working and have to quit your job and stay home, even then you can’t do it all 24/7 by yourself… its hard (I’ve seen my grandmother’s case who was paralyzed, it was not easy).
I’m sure over half of you men don’t know how hard it is to take care of a baby 24/7 when he/she is fully dependent on you for everything… its very hard :hinna:. What keeps us mothers sane is knowing the fact that the baby will grow up and become more independent… thats what keeps us going. Even with our children, we do need help… we ask our spouses to help us out and give us a break from time-to-time.
With elderly parents and in-laws, its harder… very hard actually cuz you know they will always be dependent on you. Plus a wife asked to take care of her FIL, thats really hard IMO. I would gladly take care of my MIL since she’s a woman, but I don’t know what I would do if I had to take care of father-in-law or even my own father… I would probably hire a male nurse or a helper.
Wife should definitely accommodate her parents-in-laws’ needs and husband should be ready to do the same for his in-laws, itnaa selfish nahin hona chahiyay insaan ko.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
When it comes to that stage, then son has the responsibility to take care of his parents...however he can....even if that means hiring a helper...should the wife not be willing.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
What about this instead of helper?
If wife is not agreeing to bring the parents home, then will husband be justified in going back home for extended period? Lets say couple of years? (assuming that couple is our of Pakistan and Parents are in Pakistan).
Will wife be justified in even complaining in this case? I mean man has granted wife's wish of not inviting parents to HER home...
PS: Personally I believe it should not come to "permissions" in couple. Both should help each other in such times. Sometimes worst thing you can do is go by book.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
If wife is not agreeing to bring the parents home, then will husband be justified in going back home for extended period? Lets say couple of years? (assuming that couple is our of Pakistan and Parents are in Pakistan).
Will wife be justified in even complaining in this case? I mean man has granted wife's wish of not inviting parents to HER home...
PS: Personally I believe it should not come to "permissions" in couple. Both should help each other in such times. Sometimes worst thing you can do is go by book.
I think he is totally justified.