Lusi, compare the composition of CA's language, with others in this thread. CA's accusations of Chanda_kh being immature, calling her post a load of crap, indicating that she is incapable of understanding HER relationship with HER own spouse... what would you call this??
Yeah..i dont know why she assumes i am talking to/about her in the first place..
Lusi, compare the composition of CA's language, with others in this thread. CA's accusations of Chanda_kh being immature, calling her post a load of crap, indicating that she is incapable of understanding HER relationship with HER own spouse... what would you call this??
She no where made comments about her relationship with her spouse.
Yes that first reply was load of crap....I have quoted that for you. It was on the first page, you might have missed it.
[quote]
Originally Posted by chanda_kh
.....I think the reason a couple communicates successfully is directly related to the way you see each other.....is your informality limited to bed only......? or you actually share a healthy relationship full of love/respect...?**
for me ..'aap' doesnt signify respect...it just causes an uncomfortable...awkward distance....
[/quote]
[quote]
Originally Posted by CurruptAngel
Again, stereotypes! I'm SO amused at your level of maturity. You can't even differentiate between calling spouse 'aap' and having a formal/informal relationship! You seem to be completely INCAPABLE of understanding the real dynamics of a relationship with spouse so I won't even bother replying to you again. Think whatever you want!
[/quote]
She no where said that chanda is uncapable of understanding her relationship. She said Chan is uncapable of understanding dynamics of relationship and that statement hold weight based on the statement made by chanda. Honestly that statement was quite absurd. We can not just start generalizing on the basis of what we think is right. Relationships are different from couple to couple. Every couple has their own personality and their own way of expression.
Anyway, we can end the discussion here,
aap....tum...hey you....oye larkey.... :) LOL.....i cant do the formal act with my husband...its so boooooring!!! now i really hope no one brings the argument of 'arrange vs love'....because it sounds really silly.....I had only seen my husband as a kid.....and then I saw him a week before our nikah..after the 'haan'.....I think the reason a couple communicates successfully is directly related to the way you see each other.....is your informality limited to bed only......? or you actually share a healthy relationship full of love/respect...? for me ..'aap' doesnt signify respect...it just causes an uncomfortable...awkward distance....
i call him aap...during arguments though.... :)
Honestly I dont see any indication of YOU or YOUR husband in here anywhere..
So again, you are assuming that when I call my hubby ‘aap’ or he does we are being formal…? Great thinking…BTW, I’ll prefer to call my kids with ‘aap’ and expect vice versa and according to you folks we will be just like strangers. 
She no where made comments about her relationship with her spouse. Yes that first reply was load of crap....I have quoted that for you. It was on the first page, you might have missed it.
She no where said that chanda is uncapable of understanding her relationship. She said Chan is uncapable of understanding dynamics of relationship and that statement hold weight based on the statement made by chanda. Honestly that statement was quite absurd. We can not just start generalizing on the basis of what we think is right. Relationships are different from couple to couple. Every couple has their own personality and their own way of expression.
Anyway, we can end the discussion here,
Lusi..even if i were generalizing... i wasnt committing a crime...but CorruptAngel's attacks were personal...and I didnt appreciate that.
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
CorruptAngel I was not acting as her lawyer!!!! I sincerely think you were out of line, and your attitude is totally not cool!!!
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
Lusi, let's get out of this thread before these people start calling you rude and uncool. They can't seem to understand your/my point so why waste time? Let them be.
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
oh wow "these people" !!!
you really shouldn't think too much of yourself CA, although I think your nick might be getting to you :)
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
Growing up I was taught not to use the word "tum", so I would use "aap". It's just how I was raised. I dont see it as a formal/informal issue since I never really used the word in the first place. I barely speak Urdu but I do try sometimes.
we all have different kinds of relationships with our partners.. some are informal...and some remain formal...
True! Its sad that people think that by NOT calling them 'aap' is = to a form of disrespect.
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
armali..please let it go...
i cant do anything when someone takes my "general statement" and use it to attack me...if you find someone's posts "general" (even though I was talking about MY personal experience)..let them be..
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
I am late hehehehe
CurruptAngle: don't worry I understand you, I also felt the original post by chanda kind of annoying and her generalzing about other people relationships, becasue couple call each other APP and AWKWARD position. Otherwise I dont have anything against whats written here.
again....maybe you guys cannot differentiate between intimacy and the level of understanding required for you be in a position where you CAN call him by whatever name you feel like at the moment.....we all have different kinds of relationships with our partners.. some are informal...and some remain formal...the luxury of having an informal relationship is that you can be formal with him/her anytime you want... but if you decide to have a completely formal relationship with your husband...you sail in a different boat....
...since we dont talk in urdu with each other...on occasions maybe....its mostly everything else..including nicknames......anything but aap.....i save that for when i am angry....
I gotta reply to this:
Why use APP when angry, I dont understand this logic, when I am angry I could use many many names but not APP.
But here we go again, generalzing again, you dont really know us do you, btw u had ur Nikkah done and have not lived with him yet, things and attitudes changes when living with someone, I was in lala land just like you before Rukshati .. but its normal I think, enjoy it as much as u can.
I gotta reply to this:
Why use APP when angry, I dont understand this logic, when I am angry I could use many many names but not APP. But here we go again, generalzing again, you dont really know us do you, btw u had ur Nikkah done and have not lived with him yet, things and attitudes changes when living with someone, I was in lala land just like you before Rukshati .. but its normal I think, enjoy it as much as u can.
Most probably she want to show that she is angry by using AAP. Kidda showing that she is now being "formal" to him...COZ she is angry !
I gotta reply to this:
** Why use APP when angry, I dont understand this logic, when I am angry I could use many many names but not APP. ** But here we go again, generalzing again, you dont really know us do you, btw u had ur Nikkah done and have not lived with him yet, things and attitudes changes when living with someone, I was in lala land just like you before Rukshati .. but its normal I think, enjoy it as much as u can.
Maybe because she doesnt want to piss him off!!!!! I understand she doesnt want to sound too harsh during an argument.....why is that so difficult nto understand?????
Most probably she want to show that she is angry by using AAP. Kidda showing that she is now being "formal" to him...COZ she is angry !
haha my point exactly..now decent6chora, if you can kindly explain this to these ladies here, who cant understand this concept.
I am late hehehehe CurruptAngle: don't worry I understand you, I also felt the original post by chanda kind of annoying and her generalzing about other people relationships, becasue couple call each other APP and AWKWARD position. Otherwise I dont have anything against whats written here.
OH MY GOD!! everyone gets it!!! why cant you???? she was talking about HER relationship!!! wow, you have got some serious issues!!
:k:
i think you have summed it up pretty well, chanda.
at the end of day, it’s what you, yourself are comfortable with and how you want your relationship to be.
Re: ===Calling Your Spouse "APP"
:) Yes shay! my post describes both sides of the coin...in addition to my personal experience :)