Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
I call all the eldery people Uncle.. respect.. even I dont know them..
But Im stuck wid another problem.. I have an uncle.. really uncle wala uncle.. he has a younger brother.. abt ma brothers age.. Im so confused.. technically he’s ma uncle..
But he’s 2 young to be called uncle.. Bhai seems inappropreate to me..
Ma cousin calls him ucnle.. that sounds so weird..
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Vaisay Uncle Tom, I hope you realize I am just kidding with you. Its a personal choice and you can have your kids call others whatever they/you want. I don't believe there are any hard and fast rules, nor are you likely to violate any. Your kids can even call you with your first name, as I have seen its the new rage amongst yuppie desis these days. Point being, its just a personal preference and depends largely on what you like and to an extent what your family values are. Doesn't mean one way is better than the other, just that it is different.
Personally, I call my father's friends as uncles, and that neither bugged me nor did it leave any scars on my personality (fingers crossed!). My kids call all my close friends as "chacho" or "uncle", and my wife's close friends are called "khalas", and their kids call us the same way. Over in the US, with no extended families around you, your friends are your family, and this closeness and affection translates into naming as well.
For me, however, the most amusing aspect of these naming conventions is when kids pick up what their parents call others and start saying the same thing. Like my paternal grand mother was called "mummy" by everyone in the family, since this is what my father and his siblings used to call her. I never recall calling her "daadi", as would be the norm. The down side is that childhood nick names sometimes get stuck even in older age. Like one of my maternal uncles is still called "Guddo mammoo/chacha", even though now he is a grand father himself. By the way, he doesn't mind at all. We all love and respect him and he knows it. The name, though sounds funny, to an outsider.
Cheers!
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Shikra- Alhumdulilah us Pakistanis love making rishtas with people :) and i do like it :).
Its part of our culture --- and i like it
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
^^ 
I do find it weird calling strangers uncle-auntie, esp. if they are not too old. But if they are like, grey beard and really really old then, for respect, I call them auntie and uncle.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
Faisal uncle I know you are joking. Calling your parents or their friends by their name will not slip by me. And I agree whatever you start calling others since childhood gets stuck with you but for some reason it didn’t get stuck with me. Don’t get me wrong, I do call my father’s friends uncles and mom’s friend aunties but inside me I don’t feel comfortable, especially calling young aunties (1 or 2 5-6-years old kids) 
You know how they say in urdu “dil sey nahi kahna”.
I am making very big claims here, you never know my wife will tell me once “Nahi, hamarey bachey baron ko Uncle kahengey” and I might say “jee begum” and saarey kiye dharey par paani aur saarey claims paani mein 
LDH I also have a few chachas (Dad’s cousins) and mamoos (mom’s cousins) that are younger than me and I have to call them uncle, but I usually call them by their name or just by saying yaar.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
im actually quiet certain that will happen 
ps. if u had stayed in pakistan up till now, you wouldnt be thinking like this right?
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
May be. I know all the cultural stuff and I respect most of it, but I just think some things/norms are dumb.
Here's an example. We are in the process of sending out the wedding invitations to friends and relatives. Relatives from England and Pakistan cannot come because they have their reasons and one of the reasons is that they don't have a visa and they don't have enough time to apply for it. Fine. What I don't get is why my parents are still sending them the invitations. I asked my parents if those people are saying they can't make it, why are you still sending out the invitations? Their response was "To give the respect and so that they don't think we didn't invite them formally". Now, why the heck will they think we didn't invite them when they already told us they can't come. If they can't come and that's for sure, why would they get offended if they don't get the cards? If they do, that's just stupid on their end.
Another example would be young ones shouldn't argue with their elders. By argue, I mean to say let them politely know they are wrong. If you do, desi elders tend to get offended and say "tum chotey ho, chotey bann kar raho". So elders can't be wrong? They aren't humans that can make wrong decisions? Anyway........
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
^ Ohhh dont tell me about the invitation stuff, they get offended if you don’t go to their house and sit for dinner/chai/snacks and chitchat for about 3 hours and hand them the invitation in person 
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Yep. Mailing is NOT an option, unless you live in a different province. I remember, for my mamu's wedding, his mamu and family wanted a personal invitation and they lived at 3 hours drive :p
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
Sending invites to ppl who will never come coz of very practical reasons but will get offended if htey dont get anything IS very retarded and ridiculous. However, I’d give 1-2 invites just as souveneirs for my relatives who wn’t be able to make it (either that, or have a bunch of different functions in each city [Lahore and NYC]) 
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
How many gora families do you actually know and regularly associate with? I am sorry, but you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I was always taught to refer to blood relatives as uncle, aunt, grandma, grandpa, etc., to refer to all other adults as Mr./Mrs. and respect adults. My friends were raised the same way. To this day, I refer to people older than me as Mr./Mrs. As far as the younger generation is concerned, I can only think of one of my children's friends who call me by my first name.
Enough with the stereotypes already - most of you don't interact with anyone outside of your desi circles enough to have any idea of what you are talking about.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
The "uncle" "aunty" thing always bothered me for a different reason - I felt that it was giving someone totally unrelated more authority over you than they should rightfully have. That said, my kids refer to their desi elders as aunty/uncle. Everyone else is Mr./Mrs./Miss.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
I think one of the reasons why I like it and why my parents introduced their friends as Auntie/Uncle is that these are people who became their family when they were thousands of miles away from their own. These are people who know more and understand more about their daily struggles and joys than their family in Pakistan, so they are like family, and get called Auntie/Uncle to emphasize that relationship.
Now, when we do it with strangers it's usually cuz I don't know their name, and Auntie/Uncle are sufficient :D
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Enough with the stereotypes already - most of you don't interact with anyone outside of your desi circles enough to have any idea of what you are talking about.
are you married in a gora family?
sorry if i offended you
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
sorry if i offended you
I am a gori. I am not offended, just tired of all of the stereotypes. Most gora have no idea what they are talking about when discussing desis, and vice versa.
:)
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
:)
its just what i have observed. i mean check out all the care homes and they are filled with mostly goras. for a pakistani it would be a disgrace if their parents were in care homes. just things like that.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
^ Speaking of that, some of those elderly people in nursing homes are better off living there than some of the desi eldery people who get insulted by their children/daughter-in-laws while living with them at their mercy. You have no idea how hard it is for some desi elderly people to live with their children. Living in Pakistan, other women of my grandma’s age used to come to our home and talk to my grandmother about how their sons don’t treat them with respect and how their daughter in-laws taunt them all the times.
Before anyone assumes/accuses me of anything (something we all are very good at :halo: ), I am not going to put my parents in nursing homes.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Enough with the stereotypes already - most of you don't interact with anyone outside of your desi circles enough to have any idea of what you are talking about.
Funny most of the non-desis i've ever come across usually say that my parents are stupid, uneducated, and backwards and blahblahblah..granted they're strict but that doesn't give some idiot the right to say that they're retarded. One girl (Indian) even said "i'd kill myself if i had parents like yours." Granted I can chalk that last part upto arrogancy and immaturity (we were 14 then) but its still very hurtful. Thats the exp I had in HS (which was primarily NONdesis)I tend to hang out with (certain) desis because they understand where i'm coming from and they may not have the same restrictions but they get it, and i know they won't say "wow your parents are dumb, your such a baby" etc etc.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
how hilarious! i’m always afraid someone will call me aunty even though I am 20 its still going to offend cause i’m not married.