^ Right, and that's okay too. But I wouldn't expect my children to call their uncles Uncles, as long as they use any other similar term that shows respect.
Angel right, that's what I said to Sara earlier that our generation thinks differently than our parents. So hopefully my friends won't expect my kids to call them uncle and they will be okay with "Mr" and "Mrs". But I guess I will give my kids a choice. I will introduce them to the term Uncle/Auntie, in case someone wants to be called that way.
Angel right, that's what I said to Sara earlier that our generation thinks differently than our parents. So hopefully my friends won't expect my kids to call them uncle and they will be okay with "Mr" and "Mrs". But I guess I will give my kids a choice. I will introduce them to the term Uncle/Auntie, in case someone wants to be called that way.
you say "our generation" thinks different than our parents. in that case its very likely your kids generation (and hence ur kids) will think very differently from yourself....hence they may feel awkward calling someone Mr or Mrs. personally i would find it awkward. I prefer uncle/aunty :)
they may feel awkward saying Mr/Mrs and wanna say just the name....which i would personally find very disrespectful.
Impulse, I am fairly certain the gap in the thinking process will be less between the current generation and the future generation THAN the gap between the current generation and the previous generation. It's kind of hard for our parents to change and to change their expectations, but for me personally, I am pretty flexible. I wouldn't mind if someone called me by my name, as long as they are not openly rude and/or talk in a degrading manner. i.e. Abey tu kia kar raha hai? **as opposed to **Mr. Sohail/Sohail sahab/Sohail aap kia kar rahey hain?
^ Well if she considers her friend close as a sister, then why not Khala? I think shes objecting to calling total strangers Uncle and Aunty. I know one friend whos pregnant says i’ll be khala and my other friend introduced her kids to me as Sara Aunty. My friends will all be khalas (and mamoos ) to my kids
I always tell my kid to call my friends khala. As for the rest of the aquaintances, I dont tell him to call them khala chacha or taya, just uncle or aunty.
I dont think there's anything wrong in it, its just to teach your kids to show respect to the elders. But I dont expect him to call our friends children Baji/bhaijan. He knows them by name.
Shikra, you are trying too hard to be like a gora saab, or as we call it Uncle Tom. Lighten up, dude. Not everything your parents did was wrong. Really. And if your kids call me Mr Faisal, then they should be ready to have their dad being the butt of coconut jokes for the rest of his life.
I really like Khalla, Phupo etc because its more personal and sweet while aunty & uncle can be anybody. so for non-relatives, this term is fine but for blood relatives, our pakistani titles are good enough. I would never use Mr or Mrs. for Pakistanis but for Amercians etc. its ok to use the names or Mr, Mrs. titles.
It's not about me trying to be a gora. It just bugs the heck out of me when I go to a party, I have to address a TOTAL stranger for some reason, and I must say "Uncle". I mean come on, give me a break! I don't know you, you are not my dad's brother, not even a friend, why am I calling you an "Uncle"?!?!? And I am not saying it's my parents' fault, no, it's the whole society and culture, they just went with the flow only to save themselves from "log kia kahengey?" and I don't blame them.
if someone called an elder aunty or uncle...they will be happy and not get offended. whats the harm in that?
on the other hand, if someone called an elder Mr/Mrs...they might get offended or be upset by it. there is more harm in this.
why not choose the option that majority of people find respectable (im talking about pakistanis/desis here....not goras cuz to be honest goras dont have much respect for elders and would u want ur kids to be like that....by addressing elders in the same way as goras do....there is no way id want my kids to be like that)
Me and my cousins have always called our chacha's and mamoo's 'uncle' and our phopho's and khala's 'aunty' ..Now we hate it But we cant change it. Blood relations should always be called by the sweet words like chacho and khala. Now we realize how our parents made this mistake to make us call our blood relations and other people we know by the same aunty uncle thing. I dont have a problem by calling someone i have met the first time aunty or uncle. I am okay with it. I just have a problem with calling your blood relations aunty and uncle. Now my cousins are making their children call us khala and phopho and my male cousins mamoo and chacho. We love it this way.
I'll make sure my kids call my sister khala and same goes for phopho and chacho and taya and mamoo.
^ that's sweet. Yes, blood relatives should be called chacha/maamoo/phoopho etc.
Impulse I am not here to please others. Personally, I can't do something just because others prefer it that way. If I have trouble doing it, I simply will not do it because if I try to please others, then I will keep building up the anger/stress inside me, and I would rather let it out. To give you an example, lets not go too far and use an example of gupshup, I have tried pleasing everyone but it does not work. Someone somewhere along the line **will **have problems with what you do and how you do things.
Oh and not all gorey are alike. My neighbors are an old couple who live alone. EVERYDAY someone (son, daughter, grandkids, cousins) are in their house to give them company. Their kids call their uncles "uncle" and their grandparents "grandpa/grandma". On major holidays, the whole family gets together at their house and have BBQs etc. Their home was flooded last year, his son didn't return to work, instead he chose to rebuild his dad's house free. I haven't seen a desi family who is similar, at least in the US. So don't say gorey have no respect and only desis have respect because that is a wrong judgement.
^shikra you are right there....it is very hard to please everyone....personally i find it more respectable to call elders aunty/uncle....and thats something i would teach my kids....and i dont think they will object to it if thats what they are taught from a young age...cuz it'll be something they're grown up with.
ps. about gora families...its true there are a minority who are like that...but majority are messed up. especially here in uk.
Just do what I do, don’t calll them anything, just be polite and respectful, i doubt htey’ll notice “hey he didnt’ call me Unkil!” When i’m referring to someone ill say Aunty or even worse just use their first name (but never to their face)
I find it very strange and I have a hard time by calling people "Uncle" whom I have never met in my life before. So, I am going to change it for my kids. I will teach them to call strangers or my friends by saying "Mr. Shahzad" instead of Uncle, because to me, your uncles and aunts are only your blood uncles only.
What does everyone think about this uncle deal?
Fully endorsed. This is so strange and funny, calling someone auntie or uncle and we don't even know them and then none of them want to be called auntie aur uncle. Desis are just so blind in that, they end up doing it all the time.
A lot of **me-me-me **here. Solution is therapy. By the way, therapy and seeing shrinks is also a very gora thing, so hopefully you seriously consider it.
) to my kids 
