Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
i’m an uncle and i expect every chucha te chuchi to call me uncle with love te respect.
only 1 chosen kaki is allowed to to call me budha 
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Whats wrong calling some1 uncle?
I think i just teach my kids calling some1 uncle
just the Pakistani style. But everyone have their own
opinion about this.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Then again, is it bad to encourage them to differentiate between Pakistani elders and elders of other ethnicities and races?
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
who are we to put our parents anywhere…rather they should be the ones to put us somewhere. they have a home, it will be your choice whether you want to live with them or not
hum kon hote haan apney parents ko rakhney waley, all life unhoo ney humey rakha so woh hai jo hum ko next bhi humesha rakhey gee
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Child, you need to step in real life and take a look at reality. When parents grow old, they have no jobs and no money. Not enough strength to live by themselvs. They solely depend on their children in **most **cases.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
its still their house...they would still be living in their own house...so how can we say we'll put them here or there.
as far as looking after them is concerned....thats something we owe them...its our duty.
for example, there was a kid at school....who said to his teacher "our dadi and dada live with us"....the teacher corrected him by saying "you should say you live with ur dadi and dada....not the other way round"
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
as far as looking after them is concerned....thats something we owe them...its our duty.
for example, there was a kid at school....who said to his teacher "our dadi and dada live with us"....the teacher corrected him by saying "you should say you live with ur dadi and dada....not the other way round"
Why is it their house if I (in general) pay the bills, the mortgage, and pay for the food?
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
^I dont want an argument....but it is their house in my opinion. when you were younger and lived in their house...it was theirs....its the same thing.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
me too
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
I think you are missing the difference between living in the house that your parents owned when you were younger, and you just moving into it, and you moving out, buying a house somewhere else, in your own name, paying all the bills, and parents moving in with you - in the latter case, it's "your house".
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
^ Thank you.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
what is mine is also my parents...and without them i would have nothing. and ur a gori, u wont understand what im talking about
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
^ That was not very nice. If she's gori and doesn't understand what you are talking about, you are not helping her too much by saying that flat out instead of explaining her how Pakistani culture works.
And you are thinking this way now because most likely you still live with your parents and depend on them, I will ask you the same question a few years down the road when actually you start earning enough money to support your parents and especially after you get married. Time, money, and control changes the way we think.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
And you are thinking this way now because most likely you still live with your parents and depend on them, I will ask you the same question a few years down the road when actually you start earning enough money to support your parents and especially after you get married. Time, money, and control changes the way we think.
what i said was more my fiances thinking than mine....and he earns enough to support his parents and family.
and yes it wasnt nice for me to say that i shouldve explained to her. im sorry amana.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
Without our parents, none of us would be here, however, even amongst my desi friends, there is a difference (in the family dynamics perhaps) among people who live in the home of their in-laws, and those whose in-laws live in their homes. For example, I feel financially secure in knowing that if anything (Allah forbid) happened to my husband, I would be protected because my name is also on our mortgage, and vice versa. My friend, however, was thrown out shortly after she was widowed by her in-laws who didn't want an extra mouth to feed. There is also typically a difference in the way that the MIL treats the DIL, but I digress.
You know, I get a little tired of hearing about how much desi parents sacrifice, and everything they do for their children. Do you really believe that gora parents do any less. My parents made so many sacrifices for us, whereas my husband and his siblings were raised by masseys while his mom was being the perfect army begum. In fact, at least at the school my kids attend, the gora parents are far more involved, whereas most of the desi parents can't be bothered to show up for anything other than conferences.
I love and respect my family, and make sure that all of their needs are met. Desi parents didn't corner the market on sacrifice, or doing everything for their children, they just like to talk about it and use it to manipulate their children more.
Re: …Calling Someone “Uncle”…
That’s such crap.
And when you are married you will realize that you cannot give everything to your parents. You have a whole other family to consider and it isn’t fair to consider everything that is yours your parents’ as well. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be giving toward both sets of parents, but they also shouldn’t be so demanding as to assume all that is yours is theirs. Often the husband’s parents do think this way, but rarely do the wife’s parents. You think your husband would consider your house to be your parents’?
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
The name, though sounds funny, to an outsider.
I feel the pain, both as an outsider and as an insider. One set of my cousins have their beloved mammu labeled as Billi Mammu. I feel like a fish out of water when we get-together (GT) sometimes, at a dinner table, and I address to this person as "Mr. X", and immediately after, my cousin shouts "Billiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Mamuuuuuuuuuuuuu."
I can only imagine how the guy feels from inside. Always has this huge million-dollar look on his face like he is about to either burst into laughter or stream into tears. What it is, I will never try to even comprehend with this sane mind of mine.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
i find the uncle/aunty custom is a very cute and polite desi tradition. as is khala and jan in the afghan/pashtoon culture. just sounds at ease and sincere.
Re: ...Calling Someone "Uncle"...
......for my blood relations i use chachoo ,maamo , khaala ,phoopee etc.........
& if i'm talking to someone for the 1st time.....i don't hv to use a name or anything......just talk to them using "u" or "aap"...........& if i'm referring to them as a 3rd person........i usually use things like "XX ke mama" u know stuff like tht........i feel weird calling someone i don't know @ all uncle or aunty.......... & since i haven't been to pak except once in my life.......so really no need to call ppl uncle's or aunties.......& since the ppl we meet r mostly arabs.......we call them using their kids names....like "umm rashid"......& this is quite respectable for them.......
yea mama makes me call two of the ppl we meet....aunties.........its just so hard for me to say those words..........so i just try to weasel my way out of calling them tht.........but tht doesn't mean tht i don't respect them..........
this may sound pretty preposterous to most ppl here...but i find calling someone uncle or aunty pretty degrading......maybe 'cause once when i was a kid i told my friend @ school tht "look this is my uncle" instead of telling him "this is my chacha".....& my chacha heard it...so he was like "haan main to sarak waala hoon tht u r calling me uncle" so since then i don't like using uncle .....aunty to kabhi kabhi chal jaata hai............
but calling someone elder to me by there 1st name is totally out of question.........