Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

LP · October 28, 2017, 4:06am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

***“Your life philosophy?”

I don’t believe in having an ultimate goal. I’m a fan of lots of smaller ones a la Tim Minchin (CLICK). “I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short term goals. Be micro ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you. You never know where you might end up” Watch his whole address… very clever! Particularly numbers 2 and 5… both of which I try to do every single day: “Most of society’s arguments are kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance.” But none of this is a proper answer eh? Let me try again…

I think that my main goal, if you can even call it that, has always been to surrender to life. That is to say not be just a passive experiencer of it but an architect of it who is not immovable when situations don’t go as planned. I don’t fight against life; I strive to find the path through it. And there is always a path even in the darkest point where you find yourself groping for either meaning or a sense of self. I’ve always liked what Martha Nausbaum said on the subject, “To be a good human being is to have a kind of openness to the world, an ability to trust uncertain things beyond your own control.” And that of course is the paradox of life for us all… one of the very things that sets us apart; our empathy and ability to trust in others (our vulnerability), also makes us so beautifully fragile. In accepting this fragility as an asset to my humanity rather than something that must be cut out or hardened in order to survive leaves me just as open to the good stuff (love, etc) as it does to the bad.

Interesting. Specially the short term goals part.

***“Your shopping philosophy?”

Hmmmmm… let’s see

I try to keep my wardrobe carefully curated.

I lean more towards natural fibres.

If I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it.

If it doesn’t fit properly (either in my world or on my body), I don’t buy it.

If I can’t find it, I wait.

Above all, I try not to compromise. I’d rather wait and spend a larger amount on one good quality item than buy ten cheaper versions of it elsewhere.

I do have rare moments of impulsivity like my most recent shoe purchase which might turn out to be an epic fail… we’ll see when they get here but *generally *with clothing/ accessories I try to be decisive. Art is a completely different matter though! I’ll look at certain pieces for months before I decide… in doing so sometimes I lose out on them and that’s okay… it was never meant to be. I’m considering two pieces right now actually!

I like your shopping philosophy. Those shoes though :no:

One more question comes to mind. How do you view our culture and differences?

If my dog was treated better than me, I’d chuck him out instantly :snooty:

Oops :hehe:

***The best and worst experience of your life?

Well there have been many bests but the one that supersedes them all won’t surprise you and that is the birth of my son (a relatively funny story for another time!)

The worst is easy to answer as well. It was my fathers death. It’s not something I speak about much which is why I haven’t mentioned it before. My (biological) father passed away of Pancreatic Cancer. From diagnosis to death was just under 3 weeks. By the time we found it, as is often the case with this type of cancer, it was just too late. He fought as hard as he could though! When he first went in to the doctor, we thought it was kidney stones. The day before his appointment I have vivid memories of the two of us joking about how we’d have to name them all (the kidney stones I mean lol!) I still chuckle about that sometimes. Dad had the most wonderful sense of humour. He was still making jokes right up until the very end. Just a truly joyous person. The man I refer to in the present tense as Dad is my wonderful step father. Mum honestly couldn’t have remarried better… I love him dearly! I had/have the two best dads on the face of the planet!

I’m sorry about your loss :hugz:

LP · October 28, 2017, 4:13am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

I’d :wub: to go shopping with you and then have some Gelato or donuts on our way back :yummy: But, I want to come in the “off the beaten path trip” too :sid:

LP · October 28, 2017, 4:15am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

***“What options do you think would come up if you could “right-click” people?”
**
This is a truly fantastic question! One I’ll be thinking about long after I give my answer. The only worthwhile one of your bunch! :meeno: I’d either force them to listen thoroughly to the other sides of their argument before being able to respond (and by this I mean they’d have to prove they really comprehended what the opposing argument was stating) or in the case of vitriolic cyber trolls I’d force them to see the best parts of the lives of the people they attack… an hour or two of family vacations, birthdays, holidays etc so that they see the humanity behind the words on the screen before they were allowed to make another post tearing someone apart. Or I’d make it a start over feature… so you could do over situations and make a better impression on the people you meet. I’m typing this and cooking dinner so I have no idea if any of that made sense lol!
*

:hehe: perfect ! We should really have that option now

FreshBakedPi:

@LP!

“Your first GS friend?”

@SID_NY reached out to me first… followed by Hakuna who is easily the most friendly, good natured person I’ve ever encountered! And of course you know how much I adore you and @aqua70

***“Best GS moment?”

Have I even been here long enough to have one! LOL You tell me! What do you think? (By the way I lumped your philosophy and main goal questions together to save time :k:)

***“Where do you see yourself 20 years from now?”

I honestly have no idea and that’s half the fun of life right there! I can extrapolate, based on the direction I’m heading now, that I’ll be retired and travelling the world but I might also find myself knee deep in a muddy jungle somewhere (I mean… hopefully doing something constructive like digging a well.) Whatever it is I hope I am having a helluva good time doing it and spending a chunk of my day laughing!

***“Your regret?”

A life well lived will always have some regrets. Mine mostly centre around the times I’ve hurt people or let them down. And though my marriage ended in a spectacularly bad way I can’t regret it because I got the best part of it in my son. Boy did I learn just how strong I am.

Tough times make us strong. I hope it’s an easy path from now on.

FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 4:21am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

LOL! Charlie has a way of endearing himself to you… you can’t help but love him because he’s ridiculous… he gets away with paws on the bed (with nothing more than a “Oh Charles”) but my mom scolds me before I even enter the room to take my slippers off… things like that. When I cry he puts his head on my lap.

The shoes are so hilariously fun! They came this afternoon! I’m going to play with them a bit before I make a final call. In an outfit that is relatively plain they’d add a bit of ‘weird.’ My two adorable gay neighbors are going to come over and help hopefully!

The overall value structure of our cultures are so similar that I have to hunt for the differences. Though I will say I am grateful for not being raised in a severely restrictive or conservative environment because it makes me at ease in most places, with most people.

You’re a gem! And of course you could come on any trip! You’d have loved Cinque Terre I think :k:

LP · October 28, 2017, 4:25am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

Pink looks cute He has amazing Eyelashes :wub:

LP · October 28, 2017, 4:32am

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

FreshBakedPi:

LOL! Charlie has a way of endearing himself to you… you can’t help but love him because he’s ridiculous… he gets away with paws on the bed (with nothing more than a “Oh Charles”) but my mom scolds me before I even enter the room to take my slippers off… things like that. When I cry he puts his head on my lap.

The shoes are so hilariously fun! They came this afternoon! I’m going to play with them a bit before I make a final call. In an outfit that is relatively plain they’d add a bit of ‘weird.’ My two adorable gay neighbors are going to come over and help hopefully!

The overall value structure of our cultures are so similar that I have to hunt for the differences. Though I will say I am grateful for not being raised in a severely restrictive or conservative environment because it makes me at ease in most places, with most people.

You’re a gem! And of course you could come on any trip! You’d have loved Cinque Terre I think :k:

I googled clinque terre and it is definitely my kinda place . You pay attention:)

Hakuna_Matata_1 · October 28, 2017, 2:30pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

Ballay Ballay Ballay!!!

Shazaday Laggay O Tussi :biggthumb:

Hakuna_Matata_1 · October 28, 2017, 3:17pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

FreshBakedPi:

@Hakuna Matata… I’m tired just looking at this list lol

***“If I invite you to Pakistan, will you come??”

Of course… I’d planned to anyway! I mean you might have to be a bit patient because the proverbial you know what has hit the fan all over but.. absolutely.

***“If I kidnaps you.. how will you convince me to let you go??”

Hakuna is this related to the first question?! Not exactly inspiring confidence here… I don’t think it would take much convincing as you are too kind to treat a guest poorly. I’d promise to make you lots of good things to eat!

***“You wake up bald next day, how will you react and what will you do??”

I’d likely panic initially (I mean that’s a jarring way to wake up no!? ), call my sister (not mum because no sense in stressing her out), and then immediately set up an appointment with a GP to get a referral.

***Do you like Hi-Fi sound systems??

Of course!! I had sonos installed throughout my house. I still have a few rooms left to cover but the main areas and my master bedroom and bathroom are done. Sometimes when my youngest sister comes to visit I wake her up with German folk music … she gets SO mad

***“What are your views about Pakistanis??”

Oh good lord!!! Okay I’m going to take a crack at this but please keep in mind it’s late and I can’t guarantee any of this is going to make sense…

I think they’re just like everyone else in the world in that they want a good life for themselves and their families. They want a government they can trust in and access to the things that will help them achieve that better life. They must be careful not to allow the country to become an echo chamber of corruption and bad ideas. They must continue to evolve in order for the country to take it’s place among the progressive nations of the world. Above all, more focus is needed across the board from the government right on down to the layman on the rights, welfare, safety, and education of children and women in particular. Jobs and prosperity must be within reach for the common man, particularly the younger generation as an idle youth becomes “enslaved to everything” and a menace to progress or they simply leave and such brain drains have crippled nations (it did in Jamaica in the 70’s.) There is such amazing potential there… and I hope people don’t lose sight of it amidst the truly inconsequential (gasp Mahira Khan smoking or flashing some skin.) There are bigger, more systemic fish to fry.

“Which is easier to you, laptop, computer or mobile??”

My phone is always with me but I prefer my laptop.

***“If you likes a song, how many times you listen to it on repeat??”

Until I become sick of it… but that usually takes a very long time and before that happens, I tend to start liking a different tune.

***“Why do you think people are becoming more impatient, aggressive, violent, selfish & mean??”

Lack of opportunity, real life connections, and general feelings of helplessness.

***“What steps should be taken to make people kind, patient, loving and polite??”

I’d say this is probably a personal journey and slightly different for everyone but I imagine that healthy doses of gratitude, compassion, and some of the things I mentioned above would help.

***“Which type are you??”

Of person? Ever evolving hopefully.

***“Have you ever been violent??”

I’m a pacifist by nature but regrettably I have had to defend myself a number of times. I can almost always talk my way out of situations.

***“Do you think we can judge people more than 50% on a forum about their personality, character, mindset and life??”

I don’t think we can ever know the true inner nature of someone… even the people we are closest to. But that shouldn’t inspire wariness or fear… instead curiosity and interest!

***“In exactly what mood do you wakes up??”

… just kidding lol. There is nothing exact about mood! But generally I wake up ready to face my day. I’d say resolved… not upset, not particularly pleased but ready.

***“Name one desi song you like most??”

I don’t have any favourites because I like so many… this is what I am currently loving and listening to: CLICK

***“Have you ever worn a “SaRee”??”

I have and I am convinced that women with more curves carry them off better than someone with my body type… which is true of most clothing I think.

***“What makes you most upset/worried??”

I’m a mother so naturally I worry about my boy but what I find most troubling is the general lack of compassion these days. They’d rather yell their point incessantly than listen, carefully consider, etc. Things must be spoken about absolutely (after all sunlight is the best disinfectant) but we have so woefully lost our manners. Arguments quickly devolve into personal insults back and forth and the ideas, the greater point gets lost. And then beyond that the same things everyone else worries about I imagine… the health of the planet, family’s well-being, what horrible set of horse pills my mother is going to send me next, etc.

***“What do you think about me?? Any suggestion for me??”

I think you’re lovely! Open, friendly, and kind. My advice to you is to not lose yourself in your friendships. You don’t have to hold the centre to protect the balance and you are not responsible for the happiness of others. Your convictions, your passions, they are just as important as everyone elses. Don’t allow yourself to be drowned out by others. By that same token, embrace plurality… learn why people hold opinions so different than yours. Really listen to counter arguments and question the world around you.

And travel more. Leave Pakistan for awhile. Learn things. Do things that make you marginally uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to fail.

***“Do you like to stick around friends, what about parties??”

I like both… I like my solitude (something you come to cherish as a parent) and I like to be with people. Both feed my soul in different ways. I’m just at ease in an empty house as I am in a crowd. I’m pretty gregarious so I don’t need to stick with friends at parties. I have a habit of striking up conversations with strangers… or they strike them up with me! I know I know this makes me completely besharam.

***“Why do you think people join forums??”

For a sense of connection and to blow off steam I imagine.

***“What’s the best thing you like about Pakistan??”

How can you not fall in love with a country that fought so hard to exist? It’s also one of the most beautiful places on earth I think. I’m quite ensorcelled.

***“Which desi food you ate last time?? if not then, wish to??”

Naat yakkhn. I forgot to take a picture of it for the cooking thread. It is so unbelievably difficult to find good sources of mawal here! Any way I recently found one and was so thrilled I bought a ridiculous amount!

***“What gift did you receive last time??”

Hmmmmm oh! My sister bought me a set of earrings! Would you like to see them?

***“What was the reason that made you angry last time??”

Oh Charlie hands down. Today he earned the nickname Torquemada for what he did to his favourite Blue Whale Stuffy that is sadly no more.

***“What one thing you want to change about your life??”

I should probably work on my road rage… just kidding sorta lol… let’s see… I’m always working on being a better mother, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend. It’s probably time for me to put myself back out there in terms of finding a spouse. I’d like to scale back on work and volunteer my time more than I currently do.

***“How are your handicraft & drawing skills??”

I’m actually ridiculously handy and crafty!! Will you permit me the ability to brag for just this once??! These are my favourite favours I ever made for the boys birthday party. It was a Peter Pan / Neverland theme:

These were for his third birthday. He’s eight now so these types of elaborate parties are a thing of the past (“uh mum… that’s not what’s cool now”) but… good memories.

<— this is how I feel after answering all your questions at this hour of the night

Cutting it off here. I’ll try and finish more tomorrow. Good night All!

haan jee janab-e-aaliya.. I have so many things to discuss about your answers.. but I’ll spoil the thread then.. so we’ll discuss it after your finishes with your answers

and your handicraft skills are hurrrrrrrr.. as in awesome..

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FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 4:54pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

Go for it… I’ll keep up the conversation!

Hakuna_Matata_1 · October 28, 2017, 4:58pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

naaaw.. dont worry Madame we’ll continue it later.. honestly I wont feel good

FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 5:32pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

With things that interest me!

FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 6:08pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

@micmac !! These are some really interesting and thought-provoking questions you have posed! I’d love to sit in a cafe with you and ask some of them in return… Thank you so much!

***“When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?”

Oh my gosh.. all manner of things! But usually I preempt them by offering. I could tell you about the last time I helped someone if you like! It was earlier this week.

***“What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just dont get the point of?”

Fried plantain lol… okay something a little deeper perhaps? Fame, celebrity worship, and the single-minded pursuit of money. None of which are all they’re cracked up to be trust me.

***“What was the last time you changed your opinion about something major? What was it?”

Lets see… a number of things… the most recent thread on weed has got me thinking. I still don’t have a driving desire to try it personally but there’s no denying it’s effectiveness on cancer patients and people with Parkinson’s disease. I’m going to be watching it’s evolution from illicit substance to useful pharmaceutical with great interest!

***“There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types?”

Well… while I don’t entirely grant your premise and I could take the easy road out and quote Twain (“People who accomplish things and people who claim to have accomplished things”) lets have a bit of fun with the question: CLICK

***“If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?”

salt, sand, and heat
coconut water
curry frying in butter
Shalimar
cut grass
jerk chicken
fried fish
my fathers cologne
bread
gardenias
dogs
rain
mangoes

***“3 values you’ll make sure to pass on your child?”

This is presupposing the obvious stuff is a given but here goes:

A willingness to accept responsibility for his life because self respect is born from this. And while it might seem simplistic think about how often you come across people in your life whose first response to something negative is to pass the blame or responsibility on others… anyone but themselves.
To be of service to those around him. To see through pain and always seek to be compassionate.
To always question and never lose his curiosity or his enthusiasm. Everything good (for me at least) proceeds from enthusiasm. The sense of needing to know “how this turns out” will drive you onward through many long nights of no results/ constant failures. Conversely, the feeling “I aught to be doing this” dries up very quickly. Like paying bills. Very little joy derived in that LOL.

***“Are you a spiritual person?”

Yes. I can expand but no one really needs to read all that lol.

***“Honesty or other’s feelings?”

Honesty in a way that seeks to best preserve feelings or, if pointing something out is not necessary, silence.

***“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in someone else’s home?”

***When we first walked through the house my sister ultimately bought the sellers had this monkey in their dining… wth! I had flash backs to my youth… reading Stephen King’s Skeleton Crew under my covers with a flash light:

***“What’s the weirdest thing you own?”

You mean other than Charlie? I bet @LP would cite my recent shoe purchase but in actuality probably this piece of art:

Most people find it unsettling but as Bansky said, “Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”

Continued in another post below… (I’m breaking the questions up so it’s easier for people to read)

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LP · October 28, 2017, 6:21pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

@FreshBakedPi what does that painting say to you?

@ the shoe

FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 6:52pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

@micmac continued…

***“If you were arrested with no explanation what would your family and friend assume you’d done? Who would bail you out?”

*** @Hakuna Matata must have stolen this question from you! My answer: CLICK

***“Craziest thing you have said to your boss?”

“I quit.” And I never worked for anyone but myself since.

***“Lip makeup or eye makeup?”

On a day to day basis, neither but on the rare occasion I do wear makeup the focus is usually on the eyes.

***“Fashion accessory you never leave home without?”

Great shoes… the rest of the outfit can be a bust but the shoes have to be on point!

***“Makeup item you never leave home without?”

I don’t suppose a tide stick pen counts? Okay… lip gloss? I’m such a lame excuse for a girl lol

***Name one famous woman:

*Why stop at one?
*
***most inspiring: ***Irena Sendler, Harriett Tubman, Nanny of the Maroons, Sophie Scholl, Frida Khalo, and any of the women listed below:

***great scientist: ***Nettie Stevens, Marie Curie, Ada Lovelace, and while she wasn’t technically a scientist her contributions to medicine to this day go unacknowledged, unnoticed, and without restitution: Henrietta Lacks.

***great author: ***Maya Angelou (too obvious a choice?), Anna Politkovskaya, Parveen Shakir, Virginia Wolfe, Anais Nin, Joan Dideon

***great actress: ***okay this one is in a class all by herself Hedy Lemmar hands down one of the coolest chicks to ever live!!! She’s the very definition of “not just a pretty face”]('Most Beautiful Woman' By Day, Inventor By Night : NPR) and I’ve wanted to be just like her ever since I was a little girl!!!

***great voice: ***Nina Simone, Merry Clayton, Amy Winehouse, Annie Lennox, Esperanza Spaulding

***best superheroine: ***Well I’ve always found the salacious beginnings of Wonder Woman to be highly amusing so I suppose, if forced, she would be my pick.

disney princess: oh good lord… they’re all useless and horrible. Let’s sack them!! How about four bad a$$ politicians instead!!? Maxine Waters (MAMA MAXINE), Fadumo Dayib, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Ameenah Gurib-Fakim.

**(Click all the links! You won’t be disappointed I promise!)

**

Hakuna_Matata_1 · October 28, 2017, 7:06pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

haye me marr gaya.. Hakuna da bacha chor nikleya

Hakuna you disappoint me.. ab me kya mou leke jaunga sheeshay ke aagay

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FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 7:56pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

Awwwww I was only joking!

FreshBakedPi · October 28, 2017, 8:03pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

Growth and decay.

Hakuna_Matata_1 · October 28, 2017, 8:19pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

so do I do you think I was serious?? koi haal nahi aapka..

Punjabi is more a funny language than serious, so I got you

Pakistani_Prince · October 28, 2017, 10:23pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

I forgot to ask one question..
Are you a religious person ? Do you visit church everyday ?

Bobby1 · October 28, 2017, 10:27pm

Re: Cafe interview Q&A : Fresh-Baked-Pie (Answers)

The only people who go to church every day here are people who are employed to clean it.