Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Furthermore ...there is a verse of quran that "stay in home .........". When hazrat aysha(ra) fighted against hazrat li(ra) and latter whenever in life she read this verse..she started weeping for what a mistake she has done in fihting with ali(ra) as Allah is saying that o you believing women stay at home ....and the verse continues....
Do you remember what it says AROUND those words? Or do you just not read the Quran that often?
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
dawa dil u go and make that histogram ok? i'd help u out per woh kiya hai na i have to go TO WORK TOMORROW. k thnx bai!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
yes..i am proud of being a man...not your "certificate" i require....and i do not want your "fatwa" whether i am "bad" or "good "... allah will not make YOU a "civil judge" of His domain JUSTICE to decide who is bad and who is not ...understand !!!!!!
and if something happens to me... i ..though being very sinful creature... make that thing from Allah only...not i like to "potray" myself as being a very "Mazloom" person... neither mai "Khud Tarsi " ka libada aur kar logo ki hamdardia hasil karta phiroo.....kuch log samaghtai hai kai wo jis tara "pose" kar rahai hotai hai ...haqeeqat bhi wohi hai but thats not always the case.....mai na mazloomiat ka parchar karta hoo aur na Khud tarsi ka muzahira karta hoo...no doubt ...there are ups and downs in life and some men really are very bad and cruel...but what you have writthe in your reply...i answered you in the same tone....do not compare every man with """"He"""""""""" OK ..... i do not like male dominance behaviour but i will not spare "anybody" who will take the example of some "Bhagora Guy" and then paste it on other men or "ME" !!!!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
^ well now, don't go off and have a coronary on us.
On the other hand, go right ahead.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Dushwari.....I respect girls or women very much as they are soft ..tender and delicate creature of Allah ...thier emotions and thier hearts are tender and affectionate filling..thats why Allah have given them the honour to become a Mother as all these qualities are requied by a mother......
If someone give reasonable views ..and comments..most welcome ....you debate but in a true sense of debate whether agree or not agree .....if someone talk to me in a good way ...i talk to him in 10 times more good and humble way...but if someone do any hanky panky with me... i am 100 times more "hanker panker" than her/his ......you know that what the topic of the thread ..instead ogf giving arguments in agreement or disagreement... you started the "Daftar of shikayat"...mard yai hotai hai ..mard woh hotai hai...and something like that nonesense...the same stories and folks that have been taught from pre-historic times... i am not defending men...many of them same as you told in your post....but you have no "RIGHT" to paste it on whole of the men community or me or any other guy...and then start "Insulting" or "Personal Attacks" on me or whole of men community...you have no right.... if you say that you have given in my response...thats totally false..in almost every previous post.. i time and again said that allfingers arenot equal...so there are many working women who have excellent children... i just talking about majority behaviour....ut you started plainly blamming me .....Mardo nai yai kar diya ...mardo nai wo kar diya... wo zalim..wo cruel...wo aurton ko dhauka daitay hai ...wo aurto par apni kamzoria chuppatai...wo ghootay...dhokay baaz and something like that crap....... who has given you the right to generalize every man or me in the same line that what you have uttered....do you think all men are like what you have said.......seem to be the dialogues of a third class film rather than reasonable comments...is that the topic of thread....that you have started "Huqoo-e-Niswa" and "Aurat zulm-o-jabar kai sai talay "propaganda on that......and then started insulting and ridiculing me as i am the same as """"""'he""""" do you have any sense of reality.......
once again... i remind you.. if you want respect ..then respect others....and if you show disrespect and harsh tone...ten folds from me are expected.....mind it !!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Oh sis... my graph papers are already ended so i cannot show you the histogram !!!!!!!!
well.... i or other respectables members have presented thier views..if you agree ..most welcome..if you disagree..then again most welcome.... i have a no right to "impose" anything on anybody.......what i think appropriated..i presented..then its upon the readers that whetehr they also consider it approriate or not .....
Faqeerana aai sadakar chalay
Mia khush raho, hum dua kar chalay
Best regards
wasalam.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
now see.....instead of sticing to the topic ..you started your own "Rona Dhona" in that and then start bringing me and other men in the same text what othet "Bhogara Guy " done with you....my salute to your Justice !!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
PCJ ..i know that what is AROUND that words...but do you think that hazrat Aysha(ra) wept in her whole life whenever she used to recite quran and reached at this verse... because she not acted upon these "AROUND" words....!!!!!!!!
do you think that (Naozobillah) she showed her beauty in the Battle of Camel...due to which she wept in the rest of her life.....!!!!!!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
do have i hold these double standards in your mind memory register !!!!!!
yes i undermine women as equal partners as i consider them at higher place than man ...not your "West " which are now the champions of equal -righter of women for past 40 or 50 years... we have these traditions for past 1400 years....and i am proud of that ...not on your WEST......
on cheating.. i cannot say anything as "those people" who are being "cheated" know more about that !!!!!!!! not me .....
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
i agree, no one should not weep over someone who was so ill in his/ her resolve to be with the one person he/she clearly proposed. ironic that you are yourself generalizing so much about women,
remember that if women and men were not made for each other, you would have NO WAJOOD of your own self!
it is also enlightening to hear from you, when women's weeping is acceptable and when it is not.
Thanyou very much for the compliments ......but your words cannot move me from my opinion.....yes truth is bitter..... sack karwa hee hota hai...laikin pata nai kyu baaz log is ki karwahat ko bilkhoosoos kyu mahsoos kartay hai.....!!!!!!!!!
in those time people have put a blame on the prity of the word love .......
what love ...Bah...its liking not love ....
a boy "likes" a preety face of a woman.....
a boy "likes" her smart figures....
a boy "likes" her young age.....
a woman "likes" his height...
a woman"likes" his smartness...
a woman "likes" his white shaved face ....
a woman "likes" his zero meter car..full furnished house and multi-national company's GM post.....
a woman "likes" that he has only one sister..soon to be married and mother is so old age that she cannot interfere in house hold works and soon ......
I am not talking about "all girls" neither all "men".....
But we call these "LIKINGS" as "LOVE" ...hahahaha.....
love is 180 degrees with likings......
a boy loves very much a girl..ultra pretty.... he has told her that he love him and will not leave him ..after summer vacations... she come with his wieght (80+) and all her face pimpled .... will that boy ready to sit with her in canteen to have a cup of tea ...or he will try a new hunt .....for a slim and beatiful girl....where has that "LOVE" gone..... !!!!!!! where are the promises of "zindgi bhar saath nibhanay kay """"" all vanish ...why ??? is that no love !!!!! what happened ...what a sort of "love" is that !!!!!!
similarly...why a girl (not all plz. ) look for a guy having dashing persoanlity...new car and less family memebers.......why not the same woman loves a jet black man .....having 44 waist and relatively poor..having 5 sisters still to be married... !!!!why not that love "boil" for him......!!!!!!
i accept that pretty things are liked by everyone ....but love is blind ...a world-known saying........
But where this "love" has gone for a black mota man ...if this "love"is really blind .......and why that "love" become """""""6/6""""""""" for a pretty ...red-lip....fair shaved....... tall height....slim and smart pretty face .....
why .....tell me why...... if love is really blind then ...why it differentiate between the two men or two women .....
just because we try to wrap up our "Likings" in the cover of "love" and when anything un-usual happened ...we put aside this "love" a miles away.......
The real love starts when a man married with a woman...whatsoever they have differences(not in exceptional cases)..within 1 or 2 months..they become so dependent...so affectionate or so use to to each other that ....despite of face or figure differences...they have a "love" in a tue sense...its not of body...its not of status... its really of soul...and this love is inculcated by the allah almighty in both hearts ..as they used to drive the car of thier lives both equally with love and mutual respect ......if a man or woman leaves for a day or two from house...wife or husband becomes totally upset..h/she do not know what to do..whole of his/her life-set up duisturb.....i the automatic "love" that is produed when both united in a bond of marriage......
i accept that the man and woman have great likings and passions for each other and it i not un-usual that if any becomemore emotional t other in his/her life...but that is not "solid"until and unless marriage would take place.....before taht ...there is surely uncertainty..likings..preferences...hai jusjtojoo kai khoob sai hai khoob tar kahan ...and like that......
and tearing of any "loss" is just for that loss of "likings" not the loss of "love" as i will again say that "Dunya janti hai Ansooan mai siraf maa kai ansoo "sachay" hotay hai " ........and where is no relationship there are ansoo but not "sachay"...it mourning about loss of likings not that of your "love".......
well....the thing which you call "love" i call it " hawis"
hawis for pretty face for both men and women....
hawis for handsome guy/gal
hawis for independent house ..no interference....
hawis for good job guy....
hawis for hoor like girl.....
and the "love" which you are talking about ...only found in ols stories and "afsanay" or punjabi films.....also in Bolly Wood bock-busters.....
such "aflatooni Ishq is only happened to 1 or 2 out of 1000 or even less....
we all(including me) look for our preferences..our goals... our profits..... today one face look better to us..next day...another more beatiful attracts us...ad to both we say ..we love you.... bah....this is shame on the "purity" of the word "love" ...love starts when soul meet each other and thats happns only after mariage..tahts the long-lasting love ...rest all is "maya"......
this is irrelevant to the topic ..but Duswari intentionally tried to twist the topic of the thread by bringing her own "personal eperiences" and then pasting that on me or others...i write this whole long post ......
i end this post ..by the beautiful words of Ibne-Safi...yes the same famous man of his Col.Faridi and Imran series....he is also very good poet.....
Raha-i-Talab mai kon kisi ka, apnay bhi baiganay hai
Chand sa mukhra , raskha-i-ghazala sub janay pahchanay hai
Bil akhir thak har kai yaro, hum nai bhi tasleem kiya
apni zaat sai ishq hai sacha , baqi sub afsanay hai
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
At the end of the day however, you have to live with the fact that there are women who work. It doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. You, thank God, cannot do anything about it.
so now in your opinion....only woman work...aur mard hazrat baicharai siraf makhiya hee martay hai ...... kiya baat hai aap ki !!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
^ post no. 130
rakhio mujhay is talkh nawai mai muaff Ghalib
Aaj kuch dard mairai dil mai siwa hota hai
(ghalib)
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Really why can we not just use our common sense and sense of decency to decide whether individually we should or should not work.
Hareem...I too cried when i had to go to work when my daughter was 6 mths old. All mothers do get emotional...nothing unique in your feelings. Unlike you i did not have the option to stop working as i had to help my husband provide for our family...basic needs I am talking of, not luxuries as you and Dawa-i-dil may conclude. You need to thank Allah for your circumstances instead of busying yourself assuming working mums dont know how to raise kids!
Submission to Peace...you told your fiance that if she worked you would be unhappy but would not force her to stay at home....I think this is emotional duress....what do you think she really would have said if you did not indicate your "unhappiness"? Perhaps something to think about. You are starting off a married life, you should have got her honest opinion first.
As for Dawa-i-dil...If and when Inshallah I will be in a position to choose not to work...I would still continue to occupy myself (most likely outside home)...yes outside home either working or volunteering....I trust that has made you cringe!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Thanks dawa_i_dil for the kind comments of encouragement on the post.
Submission to Peace...you told your fiance that if she worked you would be unhappy but would not force her to stay at home....I think this is emotional duress....what do you think she really would have said if you did not indicate your "unhappiness"? Perhaps something to think about. You are starting off a married life, you should have got her honest opinion first.
Actually when I mentioned beliefs it was not for working, but other things, like way of dressing etc. She herself never was interested in working. Initially I also thought that she was only saying it for me but later I realized that she likes cooking and all the house hold activities. She doesn't like to move outside too much unless with family memebers. Also she feels VERY uncomfortable in a place with na-mehram men watching her in immoral way. I think it is because her mom also spent all her life in the house with indoor activities (by her own choice), from which she understands that a full time house wife can make the house heaven for her children, husband and for herself if she utilize her time in an effective way.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
STP I do not agree. Inshallah, I shall come back to this tomorrow.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
STP I do not agree. Inshallah, I shall come back to this tomorrow.
Lolz..if you are talking about my last post, I have not presented any views but the intentions of my fiance. :D
And if you are talking about my previous posts, than you are more than welcome to disagree, and I would be waiting for your logical reasoning when you come back tomarrow. :)
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
madam..... again you are wrong..i have already said in someof previous post that in these hard tmes..it isreally very difficult to come up with one's bread and butter.....
so i know tht many working women have a very tough time as they are working to support thier family due to some reasons....this thread is about those who are by the grace of allah ..not have some financial problems at all but still want to work although having kids... i request you..plz... do not make false assumptions about anyone before reading the posts....
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
amazed.....now the person who is going to be his husband has no right to tell her that what he likes and what he dislikes .....his "un-happiness" has no value...morally...historically and most important "religiously" !!!!!!!
i again say...no male dominance attitude ..but should i tell you the large no. of ahadees which speak about the woman whose husband is unhappy with her !!!!!!
and in quran ..where he has made the leader of the house and family and all decision finally be taken by im...although with the consultion of wfe but ultimate rulings will be of a husband .......
Oh no sister.. i will not... i only give my opinion ..who take it and who not... i do not bother about that .....
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
^^
Don't know about opinion only...you seem pretty bothered as per your posts.
Anyway I too can tell you about lots of women unhappy with their husbands - unfortunately they grin and bear it all. As per your (very correct) thinking, women/mothers are responsible for bringing up the next generation, so I do suppose there should be consideration for the women/mothers happiness. After all how do you raise a good generation if you are miserable.
Marriage is a joint effort no matter if the man is the dominant one and both their happiness along with their opinions should be highly respected. A leader should deserve respect and not demand it. The men I see deserving respect will have ever-lasting respect without ever asking for it...and thats the way it should be!
Re: but we have ruined our generations…
^ for you …Question:
My husband does not let me work or study, but I think that I am able for that. Does he have the right to prevent me from working or studying? He is not listening to me and that hurts my feelings.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Both spouses must refer to the sharee’ah concerning all matters in their lives. Whatever is the ruling of sharee’ah is what they must apply and follow. This is the way that leads to happiness and ease in this world and in the Hereafter, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“(And) if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allaah and His Messenger, if you believe in Allaah and in the Last Day. That is better and more suitable for final determination”
[al-Nisa’ 4:59]
With regard to women working and going out of the home, we say:
1 – The basic principle is that women should stay in their houses. This is indicated by the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance”
[al-Ahzaab 33:33]
Although this was addressed to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), all believing women should follow them in that. It was addressed to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) because of their honoured status and because they are the example for the believing women.
This is also indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Woman is ‘awrah, and when she goes out the Shaytaan gets his hopes up. She is never closer to Allaah than when she is in the innermost part of her house.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan and Ibn Khuzaymah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 2688.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning women praying in the mosques: “Their houses are better for them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 567’ classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood).
2 – It is permissible for a woman to work or study so long as a number of conditions are met:
That this work is suited to the nature and aptitude of women, such as medicine, nursing, teaching, tailoring and so on.
The work should be in a place that is for women only, with no mixing between the sexes. It is not permissible for a woman to study or work in a mixed school.
The woman should wear proper Islamic hijaab at work.
Her work should not lead to her travelling without a mahram.
Her going out to work should not involve her committing any sin, such as being alone with the driver, or wearing perfume where non-mahram men will be able to smell it.
That should not lead to her neglecting her duties of looking after the house or taking care of her husband and children.
3 – What you have mentioned about your being able and willing to work, teach or study is something good. Perhaps that will help you to serve Allaah, such as teaching Muslim girls in your house or in the Islamic center – subject to the conditions mentioned above – or doing something that will benefit you and your family, such as sewing and the like, which will be a means of stopping boredom.
You could also join one of the Islamic Open Universities, which will let you enroll in a distance-learning program, so that you can increase your knowledge and understanding of Islam, as well as attaining a higher status before Allaah. For the angels lower their wings for the seeker of knowledge, and the inhabitants of the heavens and the earth pray for forgiveness for the scholar, even the fish in the sea, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi (no. 2682), Abu Dawood (3641), al-Nasaa’i (158) and Ibn Maajah (223); this hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Ask Allaah to bless you with righteous offspring, because in raising these children a woman will fill her time and will not feel bored, and she will be rewarded for all of that, praise be to Allaah.
Remember that it is obligatory to obey your husband unless he tells you to do something sinful. So if a husband tells his wife not to go out to work or to study, she has to obey him, and this will lead to her happiness and salvation. According to a hadeeth narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of its gates you wish.’” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 661).
But the husband should not exploit this right to hurt his wife’s feelings or ignore her opinion or go against her wishes. Rather he has to fear Allaah and try to consult with his wife and discuss with her, and explain the shar’i ruling to her, and give her permissible alternatives that will make her happy, develop her potential and achieve some of what she wants.
We ask Allaah to help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=22397&ln=eng&txt=working%20women