Re: but we have ruined our generations......
very nice and very wise replies dawa-i-dill........jazakAllah
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Ooh, is that what it is. Dawah-i-dil can't get much accomplished in his/her day, and so he/she thinks its necessary to put a fold over everyone that prohibits people from living their lives. Just so that everyone else gets on the same pace as him/her.
A lot of people can multi-task. If you can't, then don't start preaching alternate deens in the name of Islam to get people to do "one thing at a time". I've never heard such crap in my life from someone posing as a religious person.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Ooh, is that what it is. Dawah-i-dil can't get much accomplished in his/her day, and so he/she thinks its necessary to put a fold over everyone that prohibits people from living their lives. Just so that everyone else gets on the same pace as him/her.
A lot of people can multi-task. If you can't, then don't start preaching alternate deens in the name of Islam to get people to do "one thing at a time". I've never heard such crap in my life from someone posing as a religious person.
do you have children....
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Do you have an independent mind?
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Do you have an independent mind?
You are avoiding my question.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Yes PCG..hareem has a very independent mind...if someone agrees with someone's point of views..it does not mean that you start inquiring about someone's "dependency of mind" !!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Ooh, is that what it is. Dawah-i-dil can't get much accomplished in his/her day, and so he/she thinks its necessary to put a fold over everyone that prohibits people from living their lives. Just so that everyone else gets on the same pace as him/her.
and only mother can know how she loves her children... a person who has not such experience cannot say about that.......
By the way , bringing his/her will not twist my points of views !!!!!!
Re: but we have ruined our generations…
erm…not really 
think for a minute…us women are great at multi-tasking…unlike men…in which we can go to work and take care of our children…my aunty works in an office and she stays there for about 6 hours work and so does my uncle…but the one thing they get pissd at the most is if their kids disobey them…yep…both parents work…and yet still their kids are respectful and disciplined…they are loved by both parents too…how can u say the children are psycho or the mum is psycho?! 
like femme fatale mentioned its about quality not quantity…don’t judge women because they look modern or go to work!
Re: but we have ruined our generations…
How old are their children?
and how old were the children When your auntie started working?
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Men and women are differently designed by Allah and they perform their respective roles in the society. Those roles are beautifully defined by Islam and we cannot say that men and women are equal in everything. They do have equal rights but their role are not always the same. A man can never take care of baby better than a woman because she keep the baby inside her, feed her milk and Allah has blessed her with more patience in dealing with the baby. Similarly a man is made physically stronger than a woman so he can do respective duties in the society better than woman. No wonder why all the Prophets, constructors, builders, engineers, inventors, scientists, philosophers and leaders were mostly men. And behind all these great people were mostly a great MOTHER or a great WIFE and relatively less times a father or a brother.
A book refer to me by a friend named "The Total Woman", by Marabel Morgan
My friend told me that in this book she has requested the eastern woman not to follow the west and pleads that havent you seen the destruction of women in all forms, rape, abuse....etc
Education of women, RIGHT. Working of women, again RIGHT. Working of women at the cost of leaving their children to the servants, baby care takers or husband. WRONG!! Why ? Ask someone who havent got enough mother's love and guidence and was either subjected to child abuse by the servant or left with the love of father only, which is not even 10 % that of love of a mother. Why doesnt Allah give the example of a fathers's love when He says that My love is 70 times more than a mother's love.
Marriage life is different. We have to except, sooner or later, that woman can do house hold activities better than men and men can do out door activities better than women (other than exceptional cases).If it were otherwise I am sure Allah would have selected all the Prophets to be women and asked men to take care of the house hold activities. Woman is definately capable of doing out door activities as well, but in married life one has to divide responsibilities. Saying all that, she still has her own choice. She should never be forced against her wll. She has the right of education and working, if she wants. These things should be considered before selecting a life time partner.
Also husbands have relatively less control over their sexual needs as compared with wives. If a wife is not able to give time to her husband for his satisfaction, due to her job, than she is doing a sin according to a hadith. " There is a lanat (curse)of Allah on a woman who refuses to sleep with her husband when he needs her" ( Unless she has medical and health problems) Such situations lead to divorce, because when the husband come back home, he is tired and he does not want to see very often that his wife is either not home or too busy to sleep with him.Saying all that, a man should also give full support to his wife in house hold activities and should take responsibility of household activities when his wife is ill or doing some degree in any field of education
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Something that I think you all should realize is that every person is different and that there ARE indeed women who are capable, able and talented at handling professional career and nice household while keeping warm and loving relationships with husband and children. These women are pretty rare IMO but I've seen them and admire them greatly. The men who are married to this type of woman are very lucky.
In my case, I realize that i'd not be able to handle it, nor do I want to. Since my husband is in agreement, we live the way we WANT to with mom at home. But this is not because its an OBLIGATION, its because thats what we WANT!
Theres nothing wrong with either way of life. The problems arise when one is forced into a life that doesnt "fit" the life that one wants. Marry a partner with the same life goals that you have and the sailing will be much smoother.
As far as the way others lead their lives, whether wife works or not...well thats not your problem or mine. Its personal.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Men and women are differently designed by Allah and they perform their respective roles in the society. Those roles are beautifully defined by Islam and we cannot say that men and women are equal in everything. They do have equal rights but their role are not always the same. A man can never take care of baby better than a woman because she keep the baby inside her, feed her milk and Allah has blessed her with more patience in dealing with the baby. Similarly a man is made physically stronger than a woman so he can do respective duties in the society better than woman. No wonder why all the Prophets, constructors, builders, engineers, inventors, scientists, philosophers and leaders were mostly men. And behind all these great people were mostly a great MOTHER or a great WIFE and relatively less times a father or a brother.
A book refer to me by a friend named "The Total Woman", by Marabel Morgan
My friend told me that in this book she has requested the eastern woman not to follow the west and pleads that havent you seen the destruction of women in all forms, rape, abuse....etc
Education of women, RIGHT. Working of women, again RIGHT. Working of women at the cost of leaving their children to the servants, baby care takers or husband. WRONG!! Why ? Ask someone who havent got enough mother's love and guidence and was either subjected to child abuse by the servant or left with the love of father only, which is not even 10 % that of love of a mother. Why doesnt Allah give the example of a fathers's love when He says that My love is 70 times more than a mother's love.
Marriage life is different. We have to except, sooner or later, that woman can do house hold activities better than men and men can do out door activities better than women (other than exceptional cases).If it were otherwise I am sure Allah would have selected all the Prophets to be women and asked men to take care of the house hold activities. Woman is definately capable of doing out door activities as well, but in married life one has to divide responsibilities. Saying all that, she still has her own choice. She should never be forced against her wll. She has the right of education and working, if she wants. These things should be considered before selecting a life time partner.
Also husbands have relatively less control over their sexual needs as compared with wives. If a wife is not able to give time to her husband for his satisfaction, due to her job, than she is doing a sin according to a hadith. " There is a lanat (curse)of Allah on a woman who refuses to sleep with her husband when he needs her" ( Unless she has medical and health problems) Such situations lead to divorce, because when the husband come back home, he is tired and he does not want to see very often that his wife is either not home or too busy to sleep with him.Saying all that, a man should also give full support to his wife in house hold activities and should take responsibility of household activities when his wife is ill or doing some degree in any field of education
so working women aren't horny? is that the problem you're having?
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
so working women aren't horny? is that the problem you're having?
You have misunderstood my point. Kindly re consider what I said. If a women is too busy in work and comes home late, than she might not be able to give time to her husband when he needs her, specially when their working hours are not matching.
p.s. With no offense, kindly instead of jumping to a conclusion, ask the reason of my specific comment. I just gave my opinion (which can be wrong), I am personally having no problems with anyone, and I never said that a working woman has no sexual desires.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
After going through the whole thread, first of all I thank Dawa_i_dil for puting great efforts in starting this and helping us in sharing our views regarding such an important issue of life . Also all the sisters have shared very valuable experiences, and I would (inshAllah) specially request my fiance to read all of them, as different perspectives and experiences on the matter helps us in analysing life and learn to have a realistic approach towards life, and still keeping ourselves within the limits set by our beliefs.
JAzakAllah khair everyone for sharing your experiences which are wroth reading for everyone, specially people like me who need to learn the realities in life from the experiences of learned people.
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
eh nevermind
Re: but we have ruined our generations…
Okay now this is better…
Anywayz…
I don’t think that working women don’t have sexual desire, it’s just that they have no time to express it…
I do agree that women that are working full-time, have two or more LITTLE children (even one is too hard to manage for some), do household work even with the support of their husband, USUALLY don’t have enough time for their husband. By the end of a tiring day they are just too tired to even talk about how “wonderful” their day was at work!
You are only left with the weekends, which again is booked with grocery shopping, laundry, quality time with kids (what a joke), parties, and etc.
If such women claim that they are MULTITASK moms and are dealing with everything so perfectly, they are either covering up the guilt inside them, or are living in an utopian world.
BTW, please ppl SPEAK OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE FIRST and then generalize a bit if you know others have had the same experience as yours, ONLY just-because-so-and-so-did-that is never a nice counter-argument! Neither is, all-the-men-are-pig a nice theme to try everytime you need to back up your so-called rights!
Check out this article as I found it quite interesting:
http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/12-4article8.htm
…the author Phyllis Schlafly did a very good job covering up lots of issues in just a few lines.
Just like “breastfeed your infant” is back in style after realizing how important and healthy it is for your baby (and after brainwashing the women rights/feminism-stricken eastern women :D), I can imagine that one day stay-at-home moms would be a fashion in the west, and our Spin-Sister type ladies would be arguing that how much beneficial it is to stay at home with your kids.:0
lalalalalalalala juz waitin’…
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Yesterday I was talking to my fiance and whenever I asked anything about plans after marriage, like if she wants to do a job or continue with her education...etc. Her reply always was "Whatever you feel comfortable with" I kept insisted to her that I would respect whatever she wants. If she wants to do anything which is against my beliefs, I would feel unhappy but would never force her to do anything as she has a right to live her own life.
After that she said, I want to become a house wife as I feel that you would appreciate me as a house wife and I am very happy in doing so.. I can't explain how happy I felt when she said that to me. I feel a house wife can convert a house into a home, rather into a paradise, with the barkat of Allah. I am sure even if I spend 14 or more hours at work, I would inshAllah forget all my tiredness and worries when I see her greeting me at the door when I return, and eating meal made by herself.
I have observed my mom doing the same (very happily) all her life, and my Dad always give all credit to her after Allah, for helping him in reaching the post of an Airforce General. Had she not been a house wife she would have not been able to spend most of the time of her life with me and my siblings. And my dad says that he was able to focus on his work without any worries because he knew she would take care of the whole house hold activities.
I also give credit to her for all the achievements of my life as it might have not been easy, had she not spent the whole day with us teaching us about religon, and all the other issues related to life
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Why is it so difficult for people to live and let live???
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
PUT UR HUSBAND IN JAIL OR BEAT HIM UP
Re: but we have ruined our generations......
Yesterday I was talking to my fiance and whenever I asked anything about plans after marriage, like if she wants to do a job or continue with her education...etc. Her reply always was "Whatever you feel comfortable with" I kept insisted to her that I would respect whatever she wants. If she wants to do anything which is against my beliefs, I would feel unhappy but would never force her to do anything as she has a right to live her own life.
After that she said, I want to become a house wife as I feel that you would appreciate me as a house wife and I am very happy in doing so.. I can't explain how happy I felt when she said that to me. I feel a house wife can convert a house into a home, rather into a paradise, with the barkat of Allah. I am sure even if I spend 14 or more hours at work, I would inshAllah forget all my tiredness and worries when I see her greeting me at the door when I return, and eating meal made by herself.
I have observed my mom doing the same (very happily) all her life, and my Dad always give all credit to her after Allah, for helping him in reaching the post of an Airforce General. Had she not been a house wife she would have not been able to spend most of the time of her life with me and my siblings. And my dad says that he was able to focus on his work without any worries because he knew she would take care of the whole house hold activities.
I also give credit to her for all the achievements of my life as it might have not been easy, had she not spent the whole day with us teaching us about religon, and all the other issues related to life
Aw that's very sweet. So I guess your mother in law to be is letting u talk to her daughter :D
Btw..this is all nice and everything..because this is what YOU prefer and what your wife-to-be prefers. But please (not specifically at you) don't think that every woman is the same, and every family would be completely happy doing what YOU and YORU WIFE are doing. :)