And also know that men who seem that they 'believe' in women as equal - will be the first ones to denounce that right to them.
unless, they follow through with their assertions that they DO really think of women to be equal
in side and outside of the house - in mutual love, respect, trust, honesty, in child care, in finances, in being a two-partner strong team that builds an institute of a successfull and content family, as the sacredness is accorded by Allah on marriage of a woman and a man.
These husbands want that we should remain "dependant" on them through whole life .......
they want us to remain in home... press thier clothes..cook food.. produce childs ...and thats all.....
we have no life.......we have no "freedom"....we have no "independence".... we have no "rights"......
we are educated ..we are highly skilled ...but these husbands do not like that we should exercise these qualities in practical fields......
they like that we should be put behind "bars" in homes and never ever think of a "independence".......
these are the typical responses of my dear married sisters who want to show thier educational skills in action in their future life..for better living..for good standard of life ..... but """"""MOSTLY"""" for a jubilious feelings of "independence" ... ..yes we are independent..we never look upon our husbands for Rs......we have our own pays...we have our own "bank-leased" mehran and cultus...we never missed the latest shoes design of Stylo ....we time and again visit the Bareeze for latest chicken pieces...whenever we have a mood...we just place a order for KFC and Mirchi etc...for delicious hot chunky dinner on a cell call...yes we have money......we have our pay...we have our "own" earnings...we do not "depend" on our spouses...we are "free" ......etc etc....
but just wait for a minute.......
no one is restricting women in houses..but the most important institution of child begins at house... he learns from mother..he or she idealized her.. the roots of a child developed there...the blue print of this this impact remains on his nuerons for the rest of his whole life... but unfortunately ..in "modern" times..we have broken this greatest "institution" at home... mothers are eager to test thier qualities of education in a practical field.. fathers are are too outside home...and the next generation..which have to pillar the future of country .. now in hands of "aya" or some maid servant...thus shattering the whole concept of lap of mother is child's first school.....we have lost this school which is even better than Berkeley or Harvard or Stanford......!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHA, dawa-i-dil, your post was laughable. I think everyone is entitled to an opinion, but you don't see women who work posting asinine threads about how women should NOT stay home and should go out and work. To each his own. Why can't you fundos live and let live. You live your life, let others live their lives. You're not going to change anyone's mind here, people either agree with you or disagree with you. Someone's not going to go "by golly, this person has a point, wth am I doing working? I should go home and wait all day for chotu". Sheesh.
These husbands want that we should remain "dependant" on them through whole life .......
they want us to remain in home... press thier clothes..cook food.. produce childs ...and thats all.....
we have no life.......we have no "freedom"....we have no "independence".... we have no "rights"......
we are educated ..we are highly skilled ...but these husbands do not like that we should exercise these qualities in practical fields......
they like that we should be put behind "bars" in homes and never ever think of a "independence".......
these are the typical responses of my dear married sisters who want to show thier educational skills in action in their future life..for better living..for good standard of life ..... but """"""MOSTLY"""" for a jubilious feelings of "independence" ... ..yes we are independent..we never look upon our husbands for Rs......we have our own pays...we have our own "bank-leased" mehran and cultus...we never missed the latest shoes design of Stylo ....we time and again visit the Bareeze for latest chicken pieces...whenever we have a mood...we just place a order for KFC and Mirchi etc...for delicious hot chunky dinner on a cell call...yes we have money......we have our pay...we have our "own" earnings...we do not "depend" on our spouses...we are "free" ......etc etc....
but just wait for a minute.......
no one is restricting women in houses..but the most important institution of child begins at house... he learns from mother..he or she idealized her.. the roots of a child developed there...the blue print of this this impact remains on his nuerons for the rest of his whole life... but unfortunately ..in "modern" times..we have broken this greatest "institution" at home... mothers are eager to test thier qualities of education in a practical field.. fathers are are too outside home...and the next generation..which have to pillar the future of country .. now in hands of "aya" or some maid servant...thus shattering the whole concept of lap of mother is child's first school.....we have lost this school which is even better than Berkeley or Harvard or Stanford......!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what, you are absolutely right.
However, as shweetdreams pointed out, it's a little too late. Women are already working outside the home if they so choose.
However, children are precious so why not keep the fathers at home so they can provide daddys lap for the child? That would be better for the kids no?
Sir jee..its my opinion and views...anyone can disagree and counter-argument.. i never mind...and where i said that i want to "impose" my views on others.....
mai kisi kai peechay koi lathi lai kar to nai pargiya kai mairi baat mano !!!!!
by the way...your response is quite natural while living in Rochester..its seems "impossible" for women to stay at home..wheteher western or desi women...even not educated women work on Macdonald's for 6 dollars per hour to earn thier livelihood...its common there because they think everyone should be "independent ...earn his /her own....while in east ...where i am living...the scenaio is totally different....
However, as shweetdreams pointed out, it's a little too late. Women are already working outside the home if they so choose.
However, children are precious so why not keep the fathers at home so they can provide daddys lap for the child? That would be better for the kids no?
What do you think?
again you are going against the nature.....now in next post you will say why allah almighty created the women's heart soft ..tender ..and delicate as compare to men's heart....and why allah almihty made men's body and nerves strong......bulky.....and pressure resistance characteristics . ......both things show which thing is applied inside house and which thing is suitable for outside......
your are going aginst the wind..you are fighting aganst the allah's hikmat and how He created His creatures..thier bodily propeties..and how in different situations..they can handle the difficulties......
Islamically I can work with my husband's permission.....and I did work for very short time after having two children but then I did'nt like it at all...I used to miss my boys a lot infact I used to cry at work though I was only working for 1 day in a week.
Ok fine... thankyou for the clarification.....you said that you cried for your sons when at work..this is very natural.....the love that allah's almighty has blessed a mother's heart with.......i appreciate your keen interest in your son's guidance that you left luxuries and want to sudy more...may allah give you success in your intentions ......
but you see... there are also "mothers" who are not blessed with such a great love as you have...for them...if not essential..there are other things more important...well..it varies from person to person.... not all five fingers are equal....many job going moms do the best tallem-o-tarbiat for thier children but sory to say..there no. is too little !!!!
As for me, I should agree that kids are ignored when both mom and dad are working full time. I have been there and experienced that. When i was working before my third one was born, it looked like we were always on the run, more take outs/less healthy apetite, lesser quality time with kids, more worries about daycare center and babysitter issues, and very little time for each other as a couple.
Plus, working in the childcare field, as an assistant director at a well known daycare center and then as a supervisor at the School Age Child Care at public schools, I know exactly what quality of care is provided to the children. No matter how much money you are spending, you are just buying a service and not the mothers'/fathers' love for your child. That always-so-welocoming-and-smiling teacher at the day care center doesn't care if you child has eaten/slept enough or if he/she has washed the hands properly after using the toilet. The daily chart that is handed to you by the end of the day never tells you whether the food that was offered that day was fully cooked or was that a left over from two days ago?? And that mommy-looking-babysitter, oh please, did she ever tell you how much time your child has spent in the crib/playpen/exersaucer/bouncy because he was crying and she just couldn't handle it. Do you know if your babysitter really reads 30 minutes daily to your child as was promised at the time of interview??? Sometimes kids go empty stomach all day just because they didn't like the food that was offered and the daycare staff/babysitter "just can't force them to eat." And last but not least, it is so sad to see that last child looking out the window time and again to check if his/her parent is here or not and then those watery eyes for why he/she is the only one left and all the other friends are gone already.
However, i will definately go back to work once my kids' pre-school era is over. Its not about independence, equal rights, or having my own money to spend. its something that makes me complete and gives me a feeling that me and my education is worthed.
PS: i feel myself more psycho now, taking care of three little rugrats 24/7. Although my hubby is more than cooperative and always helping me out whenever home, I still sometimes feel like going back to work and let another human (babysitter and/or my husband) to share and enjoy my kids experience with me. Meanie me! But no doubt, internally I am more satisfied, relaxed, and happier now than when
very nice and realistic point of view..thankyou very much.....
again you are going against the nature.....now in next post you will say why allah almighty created the women's heart soft ..tender ..and delicate as compare to men's heart....and why allah almihty made men's body and nerves strong......bulky.....and pressure resistance characteristics . ......both thigs show which thing is applied inside house and which thing is sitable for outside......
your are going aaginst the wind..you are fighting aganst the allah's hikmat and how He created His creatures..thier bodily propeties..and how in different situations..they can handle the difficulties......
interesting.
both my parents worked
and i didnt feel unloved
its weird isn't it???
my mom AND dad manage to work and make their kids feel loved MashaAllah. . .
God made humans capable of doing more than one thing at a time. . .
plus also write that when fatima(ra) came to prophet(puh) he used to stand..kissed her forehead and made to sit her on his own place......your equal righter west was living in dark-ages when all that was happening 1400 years ago....!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mom AND dad managed to work and make their kids feel loved. . .
God made humans capable of doing more than one thing at a time. . .
who are you to put limits???
sir jee...i agree with you...there are many parents who can handle both things well ...but how many they are !!!!!! all fingers are not equal...do not paste your example on others.... i talk about the majoriy and thier problems...exceptions are always there...nobody denies this fact ......
but i strongly disagree with you that allah made human capabilities to do more than 1 thing at a time.....yes human being can do miracles...but there are certain "limits"...you cannot cross...you can raise your one leg but not both at a time !!!!!! while 8 hours at work and then rest at home...sir jee...you cannot make a day of 48 hours...its not a multi-parallel processors type computing !!!!!!!!
very true....thats why allah has made this clear cut division to make this instituion even more strong....thats why Parliment.....Judiacary...and Executive though 3 in 1 but still autonomous and worked in thier own circles...have you seen what happened when the General tried to interfere in the other pillar and what was the reaction of the whole nation...no sister no... you cannot let the game go !!!!!!!!
One thing...every girl should complete her education so she is able to be independent...this way she can make choices...and say for instance if there is a divorce she is able to support herself and her kids...
I cant understand families who marry off their kids half way through their degree...i mean one girl has taken a year out in her Pharmacy degree cos shes going to have a baby soon...somehow i dont think she'll be back...
In todays world you need to be independent as a woman...cos you cant always be dependent on a man...and you cant always depend on your extended family either...say for instance back in the day your husband died your family would look after you...today you have to look after yourself...
And to generalise and state that stay at home mums will always be better than working mums is a bit of a generalisation...some stay at home mothers arent fit to be mothers and some working mothers are excellent mothers...its dependent on the person and their priorities in life...
These husbands want that we should remain "dependant" on them through whole life .......
they want us to remain in home... press thier clothes..cook food.. produce childs ...and thats all.....
we have no life.......we have no "freedom"....we have no "independence".... we have no "rights"......
we are educated ..we are highly skilled ...but these husbands do not like that we should exercise these qualities in practical fields......
they like that we should be put behind "bars" in homes and never ever think of a "independence".......
these are the typical responses of my dear married sisters who want to show thier educational skills in action in their future life..for better living..for good standard of life ..... but """"""MOSTLY"""" for a jubilious feelings of "independence" ... ..yes we are independent..we never look upon our husbands for Rs......we have our own pays...we have our own "bank-leased" mehran and cultus...we never missed the latest shoes design of Stylo ....we time and again visit the Bareeze for latest chicken pieces...whenever we have a mood...we just place a order for KFC and Mirchi etc...for delicious hot chunky dinner on a cell call...yes we have money......we have our pay...we have our "own" earnings...we do not "depend" on our spouses...we are "free" ......etc etc....
but just wait for a minute.......
no one is restricting women in houses..but the most important institution of child begins at house... he learns from mother..he or she idealized her.. the roots of a child developed there...the blue print of this this impact remains on his nuerons for the rest of his whole life... but unfortunately ..in "modern" times..we have broken this greatest "institution" at home... mothers are eager to test thier qualities of education in a practical field.. fathers are are too outside home...and the next generation..which have to pillar the future of country .. now in hands of "aya" or some maid servant...thus shattering the whole concept of lap of mother is child's first school.....we have lost this school which is even better than Berkeley or Harvard or Stanford......!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I was just speaking of this in another thread - I don't know why this bothers you guys so much - the Prophet was raised by Halima, not his own mother. He went back to her at the age of 3, and then she ended up passing away when he was 6. Then he was handed over to his uncle.
^ PCG he was raised by halima(ra) but this war n orm of the makkah culture where children were sent in free and natural atmosphere of villages and deserts where they growup in the natural circumstances an the most importantly learn the real arabic language as these tribes were consisdered to be the "Fusha-i-Arabs" at that time...and i think no need to tell that how mch touchy the arabs about thier languange as they used to call "ajmi" or "goonga" who o not speak arabic !!!!!!
it has nothig to do that mothers of that time do not take care of thier children !!!!!
very nice reply by naughty by nature... yes girls should complete education as times not remain same ...anything bad can be happened...i was just talking about when there is not such "Exceptional" case and both mom and dad are perfectly fine .....etc etc
regarding..i talk about the majority...not generalizaion as all fingers are not equal....
sir jee...i agree with you...there are many parents who can handle both things well ...but how many they are !!!!!! all fingers are not equal...do not paste your example on others.... i talk about the majoriy and thier problems...exceptions are always there...nobody denies this fact ......
but i strongly disagree with you that allah made human capabilities to do more than 1 thing at a time.....yes human being can do miracles...but there are certain "limits"...you cannot cross...you can raise your one leg but not both at a time !!!!!! while 8 hours at work and then rest at home...sir jee...you cannot make a day of 48 hours...its not a multi-parallel processors type computing !!!!!!!!
Mister, if you can't do more than one thing at a time then thats just you. . .:)
i am happy to be part of this era when it is increasingly becoming acceptable for the woman to have the right to choose. if she wants to stay home or if she wants a career, she can do that. we are not cookies that come out of the cutter pre-designed for a certain function. we do not have similar inclinations. some of us might be more inclined towards house rearing while another probably doesnt find it too stimulating. we are individuals as are men. spend the time finding someone that best compliments your personality and leave the rest of us alone.
i have already said that New yorkers and western living people find it a hard nut to crack because .....
But "modern" West ..says...forget about the institution of house...forget about whether it breaks or constructed...let all women come out of house ...let all potentials be united...let men and women "equally" share to our "economy....these blood-suckers...industrialist...only think about how thier factory's output increased by 15 % yearly....these money-makers...only care about to make women as show-piece ......as a to all world so that there products demands increase drastically......"aurat bator hatiar" ...there formula.....even in a add of a razor blade cannot be completed without a women...make them out of house...give them the briht sparkling neon sign of "rights"... self-independence".......fund the NGO's for this...break the muslim institution of house ..... make them all move toghther in a society...blind them with the shine of money.......make women...the thing which is painted on hoarding boards and postrs on the streets that every men while going look upon them...these black money owners...only need money...where it comes from...how it comes from...no matter....this is industrial era...let all work "toghether"...we as West are already drowned...this little muslim ummah still firmly hold thier institution of house...so let us break this so that no one will dare to challenge our culture..let all be in one colur and same clothes.....just push aside the saying of Napaleon that give me good mothers and i will give you good nation....go the hell Napoleon...!!!!!! make them fool by the slogans of equality of women(they poor not know in islam men and women are not equal..women are at top !!!!)....... come on the streets.....shouting for"rights" ...and "equality"...LOL...women want equality although they have a higher place then men in every aspect( do not talk about "utopia" Pakistan ...if women are not treated well it has nothing to do with religion and islam...it has to do with 1000 years living with indians and other factions and adopting thier norms and behaviours toward women )...... let all women be fooled by our "industrial" slogans....let our factories be lighted day and nights...let our companies have tripple shift...go hell the instituion of house...go hell the shattering of bond between family...Paisa zindabad...rokra paindabad !!!!!!!