I am truly saddened to hear about your sisters’ trauma and the abuse they’ve been forced to experience. I know you are young and trying your best but please stop focussing on your brother alone. Please think of your sisters and get him away from the house under whatever guise you need to but do not let their ABUSER remain in their home and supposed safeplace. That is completely sending off the wrong message whether they see it fully now or not and tbh you’d be crapping all over the massive courage and guts it took those poor girls to open up in the first place. They are still vulnerable and need support and encouragement from the family. If that brother of yours remains in that house it will almost certainly destroy their faith in you guys as protectors and I don’t want to think about anyone else suffering that way. I could write too much than I care to remember myself having been through similar and it really upsets me even reading this but please just think of your sisters. You all need to realise every day since this came to light is another day since they sought help and aside from a few what I’m sure wre comforting words, they’ve just seen their home life turned up side down, their abuser sat unmoved and their parents sufferering yet they must live and coexist with their abuser waiting for what seems nothing to happen and their burden continues. You can either make or help break them by your own actions and that of your parents. If you feel crap believe me it won’t be remotely near what they feel and more than likely they will blame themselves for burdening you so just please help them before it’s too late.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
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I agree with you, your father’s view is horrid. They won’t forget, it will ruin their lives mentally forever, they won’t be able to sleep and may not ever trust anyone again and it will ruin their relationship with their father!
If your parents keep showing the attitude they are then I am sorry but your brother won’t stop and he will go and abuse someone else.
Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
http://m.irinnews.org/report/95595/.
According to this report, their is an anti child sexual abuse NGO in Islamabad called Sahil…OP, please try to research this and reach out to them to see if their are any services your family can avail or any type of rehabilitative services for your brother. Getting him out of the household and away from your sisters is imperative. Please start googling your heart out…there has to be someone, somewhere that can help you guys .
Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Welcome to Sahil
Sahil is a non-profit organization which has been working for child protection against all forms of violence especially against child sexual abuse since 1996. Sahil has 4 Regional Offices – Abbottabad (KPK), Lahore (Punjab), Sukkur (SIndh) and Jaffarabad (Baluchistan).
Our Program
Sahil program covers:
Building capacity and Increasing knowledge on child rights and protection
Free legal aid
Free counseling services
Research and advocacy, and awareness raising
Establishment of child protection system through formation of Child Protection Networks
Support a referral mechanism for child protection
Please, please, please…I beseech you…reach out this organization and see if they can help you
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Good post Khatii!
Tempa, please contact the organisation!
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
this is horrible and sickening. there is so much wrong here and you are just 18.
i’m not going to pour out my feelings of outrage, anger and despair here … no point
but practically speaking … your brother needs to be away from his sisters. Perhaps an all boy academy? hostel? … military? Islamic school? off to another relative that doesn’t have young girls? just someplace where someone can step up teach and discipline this child. clearly your parents have failed at that.
i dont know much about boarding schools in pk but a quick google search gave me this …
Category:Boarding schools in Pakistan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I clicked on cadet college ghora gali and they seem to offer schooling/training for kids 8yo and older …
Psychologist Pakistan profiles | LinkedIn
this one is for child psychologists … there might be one for psychiatrists too. do a search.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
**more sources for you.
Counseling services and drop-in centers:**
Alleviate Addiction Suffering Trust (AAS), Karachi
(+92-21) 3411149
Aangan-Rozan, Islamabad
(+92-51) 2890505-7
Jeet Healing Centre, Sahil, Islamabad
(+92-51) 2260636, 2856950
Konpal Child Abuse Prevention Society, Karachi
(+92-21) 3455-2220
Madadgar, Karachi
(+92-21) 5685824, 5219902, 111-911-922
Protection and Help of Children Against Abuse and Neglect (Pahchaan), Lahore
(+92-42) 35871221
War Against Rape (WAR), Karachi
(92-51) 5373008
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
If your parents have given him to you to deal with, would it be ok if he move out and live with any one of the relatives? Like anyone whom you trust to tell the scenario,any uncle/men … older brother of your mom or dad ? It might be too much for you to handle alone and would better if you can entrust your brother to an sensible older relative,men,to look after and discipline with since you will leave soon.
i think some sensible and respected older relative or from the community needs to interven as your parents need help/change too …
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
I’m going to guess your not in Pakistan, judging by your english and 18 year age and college. So If your indeed in another country than counseling for your sisters should be to hard and you will have the doctor patient confidentiality law to help you.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
prayers for your family.
Everyone deserves a second chance. So does your brother.
Everyone gets taught that life is brutal. Your sisters got the lesson way early in life.
In all of this everyone including the parents need to see and take responsibility. Why couldnt they communicate the simplest of things to brother? Why was not the brother close and caring to sisters like yourself (blood bonds are supposed to be strong)? And why did they not supervise the little girls enough? Why did they not tell the girls to share everything with mom ?
Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Im so sorry for what your family is going througj and kudos to the little girls for standing up to him. Children who are sexually abused and molested are intimidated into silence and it must have taken a lot of strength on their part to come forward. Your brother needs to understand his sisters may never ever feel comfortable with him or ever let their guard down. If he stays around them, he will be constantly watched, doubted, and he and others would walk around each other on eggshells avoiding the elephant in the room. Your sisters and your brother need a fresh start and personally sending him to a boarding school isnt a bad idea. With counseling, a new start might help and your sisters who are right now sharing the house with their predator ( that is what he is because he did knowingly take advantage of children ) need to be able to breathe without being scared all the time. I think you have been provided with sources so pls pls pls get them the help they all need. It would help if your parents seek counseling too because they probably blame themselves for not knowing that this was going on and wondering where they went wrong because as a parent I would too. Talk to your brother and tell him that he isnt being shunned but he needs a new start too because living together will only cause anger, hurt and resentment and honestly it isnt fair to those girls. If someone victimizes us, as human we want that person to be punished and put away from even our saaya and it isnt fair for them to live underneath the same roof. May Allah help you all. Loads of prayers for u guys.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Dont be so melodramatic 
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
I find it very interesting that OP has mentioned most of his rapist. brothers friends are all much younger than him… wouldn’t be surprised if he’s robbing them of their innocence too. What a shameful and wasteful excuse of a human.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Prayers for u and ur family. May Allah ease this pain and torment you all are going through and make ways to overcome it, ameen.
you are too young to handle and sort out all of this on your own, specially without the help of ur parents. I guess, your family is in Pakistan, it’s not easy to speak up about this openly here in Pak, specially when it’s your family. Others have suggested good advice about moving your brother out and sending him to a boarding school etc.
Another thing I can’t stress enough is the supportive, caring role of your MOTHER and her duty to be watchful of her children, and in this case her daughters. I mean, I am really saddened to know of her being neglectful towards her baby daughters. It’s good to know that your sisters are closer to you than your mom, as you mentioned.but this should be your moms role.
How could not a 5 and 8 year old daughter be close to their mom?
My God, where was your mom when this was happening repeatedly?guessing she is a Pakistani housewife.
I am stressing about her role in her daughters lives cause it’s she that her daughters should have look upto, she is the one who should have kept them safe and away from all this happening and that also under her roof.
please, have ur mother also read this thread and all the advice given. It’s not just about what happened between siblings under her nose ( and I pray that these little girls get some therapy to overcome this trauma, ). but also she has to be very careful while her daughters are growing up, going to schools, college etc, mingling with friends, relatives, also even when there are male servants around. Being naive about child molestation will end up in dire consequences.
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
My father went outside and spoke with the older sister today. She told him everything by herself, and the disgust that built up as a result caused him to take action. He is offering my sisters moral support, making sure that my mother does the same, and no longer keeping quiet about what happened to the victims. The girls are told to speak up. The younger one said she was scared, but eventually talked.
As for my brother, my father isn’t getting him admitted to a boarding school, but says if someone else does it (my mother or I), he will cover the costs. I don’t know if this is all talk. The brother can’t sleep in the same room as the others, can’t converse with them, and was told that he no longer has family except my mother (and I). Right now his belongings and him are in the furthest room, with one of the doors leading through the kitchen to the other rooms being locked/barricaded soon.
His actions were vile, listening to my sisters makes him appear as a terrible sex offender and rapist. Being alone in that room, he is going to go mad. I’m trying to tell him that his only way out is education, and to make sure he never repeats anything remotely similar. I don’t know to what extent his motivation will be.
The problem with these military boarding schools is that there are limited seats, especially for outsiders, and the merit is high. My brother’s grades have been well below what they require, so getting an admission is difficult.
I know…
I’m sorry rainbow fluff but there’s no need to say such things! I find ur comment insensitive and completely unhelpful to the situation! OP has taken such a big step to come on here and discuss the issue, he didnt ask for people to pass judgements on his brother and call him names he’s merely asking for help and advice! Clearly you have nothing useful to say so please keep these comments to yourself!
Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
I’m sorry rainbow fluff but there’s no need to say such things! I find ur comment insensitive and completely unhelpful to the situation! OP has taken such a big step to come on here and discuss the issue, he didnt ask for people to pass judgements on his brother and call him names he’s merely asking for help and advice! Clearly you have nothing useful to say so please keep these comments to yourself!
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
**First of all i am so sorry for what happened, its awful.
**
**Unfortunately talking about such things is considered a taboo in Pakistan and thats the reason its so much common. I am glad that your sisters came forward because in most of the cases, kids are so afraid to tell anyone about it. Parents should tell their kids not to let anyone touch them inappropriately and let them know if any one does something out of the ordinary. Alhamdulilah your sisters, despite the fact that they are not that close to their mom (which is strange) came forward with it, otherwise God knows for how long it would have continued.
**
**I dont blame your father for being stern with your brother, of course he should be and he’s right. I actually think its better if your brother stays as far away from your sisters as possible (it will help in your sisters’ healing process). I think you are showing a lot of soft corner for your brother, if your father is shunning him for time being, he is doing it right. Your brother should know the consequences and seriousness of his act and he should also know that he can’t get away with it so easily. You can continue to befriend him, talk to him, but i dont think that everyone should treat him like this after the horrendous act that he has committed repeatedly. One member of the family being flexible in behavior is enough for the time being. Every one doesn’t have to be lovey dovey with him. Your sisters will also feel worthless and frightened if they see him wandering around them again freely even after the fact that they told you all about the abuse. It will damage their self esteem even more. What he did is wrong in so many ways and he should be punished for it. If, with time, he is really willing to change and make an effort like performing well in school and be more respectful towards others, then your father can soften his behavior towards him but right now, IMHO, he is doing it right! In the meantime, if you want, you can talk to him and continue providing him some counseling.
**
**Its not easy to heal from such abuse and trust me, the abused doesn’t just forget about it. It stains their childhood forever and they will always remember it. And please while you are worried about your brother’s well being, dont forget to take care of your sisters too. A lot of effort, love and care will be needed to bring them out of this trauma and help them deal with the world.
**
I hope you guys consider professional help for all your siblings. It will help them a lot!
Re: Brother has had sexual contact with sisters - what now?
Don’t know what city you are in but in Islamabad you can contact IHS hospital for children for info on counsellors, psychologists.
As far as your bro going to hostel boarding school, it’s not a good idea.
Because he needs family help. There are all types of kids in those places and what if he finds similar company? Best is to start from scratch take little steps and give him moral ethical education.
See if you can talk to him about his education but definitely change his company he keeps take away mobile computer and get him to focus on Quran and Islamic studies.