I’ve been out of the country and studying at university for the past 8 months. Came home to visit my family this summer, and I’m leaving in 2 weeks. 2 days ago, my family and I were told something dreadful by my 5 and 8-year old sisters. My 14-year old brother has sexually abused them the past few months. He has done it on multiple occasions, and threatened them so they wouldn’t tell anyone in the house (naturally, since he wouldn’t want to get caught). The last time he did it was nearly 4 months ago. The secrets all came out.
This caught us all off-guard, and the house has been in chaos ever since. My father, already displeased with my brother since he didn’t put effort into his studies, says he no longer cares what happens to him. My mother certainly dislikes him, but she still speaks with him time to time, and gets upset whenever my father kicks him out of the house. She wants him to be sent to some sort of hostel, away from the house. Doesn’t like the idea of “kicking him out”. Would this fix problems? I doubt it. The third sister hates him. I definitely despised what he did, but it shows he’s in shock and embarrassed. I don’t want him to be shunned completely, I want him to fix himself. Yes what he did was hideous, and he has left scars on my sisters, but does this mean that the only plausible solution is to hate him forever? He’s 14, supposed to be able to think for himself, but he didn’t. What now though? Should he be completely ignored, left to himself, and hated by everyone? It’s like everyone is taking the easy way out, and it’s hard to watch my only brother in this state. I wonder what’s going through HIS mind. How is HE taking the incident? My family has to be realistic here, even though this is a very delicate matter. You can’t just kill him.
My brother has some major social issues. You could say he gets along with people, but all his friends are years younger than him. The older kids he has known are among the loafer type, who spend their day on a cell phone and don’t care much for their future. He hasn’t been associated with many of these older kids, but what do I know? I haven’t given him the time an older brother should have. I kept to myself, locked in the room with my computer for hours. Only occasionally would I come out and spend time with him. What gets him in trouble is his attitude towards elders. If he does something wrong, he will attempt to justify it even though everyone says he’s guilty. He doesn’t treat his teachers as he should, and thinks he deserves the same level of respect as them. He will not shut up when he should.
I’m not too familiar with how things work in Pakistan, but I’ve thought about getting him set up with a Psychiatrist, at least until I’m gone. I don’t know where to begin though. My family and I had been out of the country for a major part of my childhood, and during my time here, I didn’t go out much. Really, right now I’m the only one who can prevent any drastic action from my father’s side.
It’s difficult to watch my family being torn apart. Any constructive input is appreciated.
His sisters just got abused too, hence I am surprised and saddened he, the OP, had to defend himself to you.