Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
So what's the verdict on this nowadays? Taboo or not to see the bride and groom do a rehearsed dance number at an event during their wedding festivities?
i'm sure its still pretty haram.
haya tou kam hi hoti jarahi hai din ba din... achai aur bura'ee mein koi farq hi nahi raha so i'm sure it's more accepted nowadays and will be a norm by the time our kids are of marriageable age :(
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
god why do you people care what other people do ~_~ dance or not, drink or not its their prerogative. your only requirement of being their is to celebrate their wedding not to judge how religious or un-religious they are
you're right.....nobody should care what anyone else does......but life doesn't work that way, does it?
there are many things considered taboo in our culture and we have not completely shed all of those conceptions; it may take another couple of centuries before we do.
in the meanwhile we will have people in our extended social circle (and this is the group that will be coming to our weddings) that, though respected by us for other reasons, don't necessarily share the same values. obviously we can't always surround ourselves with people that have the same perspective. some of these folks will judge us based on what they see or hear at our event since it is understood that nothing can take place there without our express consent.
this judgement is what the previous generation fears.......at least I think that's what it is.
should anyone care? I don't know.
if I know that my neighbour's daughter tends to skip school and hang out at the mall will I want my daughter to keep company with her? Likely not.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
bollywood copycat shoday are growing day by day.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
you're right.....nobody should care what anyone else does......but life doesn't work that way, does it? there are many things considered taboo in our culture and we have not completely shed all of those conceptions; it may take another couple of centuries before we do.
in the meanwhile we will have people in our extended social circle (and this is the group that will be coming to our weddings) that, though respected by us for other reasons, don't necessarily share the same values. obviously we can't always surround ourselves with people that have the same perspective. some of these folks will judge us based on what they see or hear at our event since it is understood that nothing can take place there without our express consent.
this judgement is what the previous generation fears.......at least I think that's what it is.
should anyone care? I don't know.
if I know that my neighbour's daughter tends to skip school and hang out at the mall will I want my daughter to keep company with her? Likely not.
Um but we're adults, not kids skipping school, and are allowed to make our own decisions in life.
I don't care what people think I do, especially at my wedding. Both me and my bf are paying for it and will do as we please. Both of our parents are moderate so they don't care.
As for our guests - they certainly don't have to come if they don't want to, nor do they have to stay if they find something they don't like. The people who love us irregardless of if we dance, kiss, hold hands, are the only ones we care to have there anyways.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
obviously you didn’t get the point…
I was referring to a person’s reputation in society.
In this case you should have no difficulties. By all means you should do as you please.
I’ve mentioned earlier in the thread that that discussion exists because the two families that are about to become in-laws do not see eye to eye.
So…is the garter coming off or not? 
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Can you please tell me proper way of Islamic wedding? I want to know about it.
I believe something that is small, simple and kept in your budget, Nikaah and Walima.
There is no Dholki, Sangeet, Mehndi, Reception ceremonies in Islam. These events were created most probably by kaafirs and have been exercised by muslims who were weak at the time and carried those traditions into today's society. Every small change eventally becomes normal. So I assume couples dancing is going to be widely accepted by Pakistani, Indian - Muslims if we allow them without a problem now they will probably just become normal and no one will care or bother to correct them due to weakness in Iman and that is how bad habits start. We are all accountable for our own actions ofcourse but imagine if you start it and someone else follows your footsteps you are not only sinning you are opening doors for others to sin. I am not perfect it is just a thought.
Wearing sleeveless, backless, tight clothing, showing ankles all that is also becoming acceptable by muslims because no one honestly cares about Islamic limitations, no one wants to be limited and we forget that having limits will keep us from sinning especially in such small matters like these. They will become accepted by society but not by Islamic definition.
Everyone will be accountable but remember if you start the trend you are as much responsible for yourself as for someone else taking after your actions. Its hard to be a perfect muslim ofcourse that is why our Prophet(saw) is the most loved by Allah we are striving to be like our Prophet(saw) not some hollywood or bollywood actor.
Everyone here I do apologize if I have caused any negative feelings, I am far from perfect I am just as guilty and do desire many worldly things.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
My own personal feelings about dancing at a wedding aside, the one thing that aggravates me to no end - when non-couples dance. Say for example, the groom’s sister dances with groom’s best friend and it’s one of thosse suggestive songs with the guy feeling the girl up and down - that is just wrong! And the mummy daddy are clapping along saying shabash the girl and guy 
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
Every small change eventally becomes normal. So I assume couples dancing is going to be widely accepted by Pakistani, Indian - Muslims if we allow them without a problem now they will probably just become normal and no one will care or bother to correct them due to weakness in Iman and that is how bad habits start.
and this is so very, very important.
about 20 years ago, right here in Toronto, there was no such thing as having a cake at a desi wedding.....no desi bride carried a bouquet let alone tossed it.......there was rarely any grandly choreographed entrance .......and there certainly was no "first dance" or "garter throw" forget about something as open as the couple kissing on demand of the audience.
these changes have come about......and not only in mixed marriages but within totally desi weddings as well.
where are we headed?
where will we draw the line?
in fact, will we draw the line?
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
Why is person A’s reputation in society based on the fact that they’re friends with Person B? This is the problem with our culture.. Everyone is judged based on OTHER peoples actions. I can see how if you wanted to protect your daughter from going down that path then fine, but if she’s a good person, goes to school, doesn’t skip, why should her friend’s skipping reflect on her? Likewise, why should my cousin be judged because I want to dance at my wedding? It makes no sense. She’s not me and I’m not her - we’re individuals.
But then it went beyond inlaws to what will society think. And hey it might just as well come off :halo:
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
Yes…it is a problem with our culture. Unfortunately the problem does not exist without reason.
Of course you are individuals…but the company we keep says a great deal about our own tastes and preferences. We obviously would not hang around with someone that we have nothing in common with. Naturally we would be found amongst like-minded folks.
Did it go beyond…maybe I was too focused on the situation at hand and didn’t see that. In any event, I’ve never given much credence to what society might think…simply doesn’t rank in my charts. But if I have invited certain guests to my event then yeah, I might give it a thought or two. Not out of contempt but out of respect.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
This is what I don’t get. I mean I understand the argument of where to draw the line…but why so much hate over cake (not accusing you of it…but I have heard people actually complain about how cakes are somehow unIslamic or un-cultural, judge others for having it…just because of what it “symbolizes.”
Its a cake!
Bechara cake 
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
So being religious means you drop your culture (essentially dropping your identity imo) then doesn't that mean you should all learn Arabic, forget about Urdu and never attend such haram weddings?
Culture as well as religion is adaptable and because it is fluid, it changes over time. Yes, 20years ago you didn't have western concepts in your wedding but also 20years ago I bet you didn't know many gori/goras.
Some may find PDA acceptable, some may not but there are also some that find the middle ground is ok.
In my opinion it is NOT religion who says kissing in unacceptable I think it is Asian culture. No matter where you go in Asia you won't see many people showing affection towards each other even in Japan its frowned upon and we're not religious at all.
I don't care if an another couple kiss at their wedding, I will not be perhaps some people will shun me for holding my SOs hand while we sit and greet etc but knowing that it will calm me down I refuse to think about what others think.
Just because I hug the other sex won't mean that I'll sleep with them in a heartbeat and I definitely won't be shaking my booty at them :) I think the only people who can do that are african americans and latinos.
Verdict from is that people who don't want to dance won't dance people who do will. Its a personal choice and one shouldn't try to intimidate a happy couple for wanting to dance.
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
Bechara shohar for nibha’ing wife after wife’s doses of cakes and oil wala foods.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
yeh rasmain aaj kal ki nahin hain......yeh sadiyon say chali a rahee hain. haan, humaray culture ki shaadi main dulha dulhan saath dance karain, yeh aaj kal ki rasm zaroor hai.
I'm not sure if this is the case for all but choreographed seems to equate to "performance for viewers to enjoy" and spontaneous equates to "apni khushi say" or "from the heart".
We've had this discussion before, I'm certain of it, so I'll not get into it but I said to a bride to be last night that she has to decide if she wants the wedding to be a "bollywood film" that will be fun to watch on the video later on or if she wants it to be a memorable "experience".
You know what I do remember that makes me a little sad?
I was really young...probably 13 or 14 and was at a wedding. It was a desi wedding and the bride and groom decided to dance. It wasn't a choreographed number...just a first dance type thing and I thought it was fun. Bride and groom were fairly young and were enjoying themselves...they were in lowe I guess.
I heard an uncle say behind me "lo ji...mujra shuru hogaya". I didn't know what a mujra was at the time so asked my mom. My mom didn't answer...ignored me and gave the uncle a mean look.
I felt bad for them and bad for him. Bad for them because someone decided to say something so horrible about them at their own wedding after eating their food. Bad for him because he wasn't able to take part in their celebration without being negative.
Its true that at the end of the day you should do what you want to do because it is your day and you get to make the rules.
But I do think there is something to be said for propriety. Just making sure to take into consideration the audience which consists of fairly conservative people at times.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
You know what I do remember that makes me a little sad?
I was really young...probably 13 or 14 and was at a wedding. It was a desi wedding and the bride and groom decided to dance. It wasn't a choreographed number...just a first dance type thing and I thought it was fun. Bride and groom were fairly young and were enjoying themselves...they were in lowe I guess.
I heard an uncle say behind me "lo ji...mujra shuru hogaya". I didn't know what a mujra was at the time so asked my mom. My mom didn't answer...ignored me and gave the uncle a mean look.
I felt bad for them and bad for him. Bad for them because someone decided to say something so horrible about them at their own wedding after eating their food. Bad for him because he wasn't able to take part in their celebration without being negative.
Its true that at the end of the day you should do what you want to do because it is your day and you get to make the rules.
But I do think there is something to be said for propriety. Just making sure to take into consideration the audience which consists of fairly conservative people at times.
Not sure, if roman urdu can be read by people. But this song comes to mind:
Kuch tou log kaheine geine
logon ka kaam hei kehna
choro bekaar ki baton ko
kaheen beet na jayeine reina.
Who cares what anybody says, if the bride and groom enjoyed and created a special memory, that is all that matters. :-)
Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number
Guess I’ve been going to the wrong weddings 
.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
So being religious means you drop your culture (essentially dropping your identity imo) then doesn't that mean you should all learn Arabic, forget about Urdu and never attend such haram weddings?
Culture as well as religion is adaptable and because it is fluid, it changes over time. Yes, 20years ago you didn't have western concepts in your wedding but also 20years ago I bet you didn't know many gori/goras.
Some may find PDA acceptable, some may not but there are also some that find the middle ground is ok. In my opinion it is NOT religion who says kissing in unacceptable I think it is Asian culture. No matter where you go in Asia you won't see many people showing affection towards each other even in Japan its frowned upon and we're not religious at all.
I don't care if an another couple kiss at their wedding, I will not be perhaps some people will shun me for holding my SOs hand while we sit and greet etc but knowing that it will calm me down I refuse to think about what others think.
Just because I hug the other sex won't mean that I'll sleep with them in a heartbeat and I definitely won't be shaking my booty at them :) I think the only people who can do that are african americans and latinos.
Verdict from is that people who don't want to dance won't dance people who do will. Its a personal choice and one shouldn't try to intimidate a happy couple for wanting to dance.
The thing about Islam is that it prides itself in being never-changing. Hence the perspective that religion is adaptable isn't shared by the religious.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
The thing about Islam is that it prides itself in being never-changing. The basic tenets stay the same. Muslims just can't change their religion because times are changing.
The perspective that religion is adaptable isn't shared by the religious.
yes, i definitely dislike those suggestive and seductive dance numbers . Mehendis and Shadis should be all about innocent fun and family and not become events to hit on each other.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
yes, i definitely dislike those suggestive and seductive dance numbers . Mehendis and Shadis should be all about innocent fun and family and not become events to hit on each other.
Like I said before, I don't know what kind of dance you think people are doing at weddings lol. When me and my cousins danced at my cousin's wedding it was innocent and fun and we even went as far as to pick "non-suggestive" songs like those token songs in movies.
You know what I do remember that makes me a little sad?
I was really young...probably 13 or 14 and was at a wedding. It was a desi wedding and the bride and groom decided to dance. It wasn't a choreographed number...just a first dance type thing and I thought it was fun. Bride and groom were fairly young and were enjoying themselves...they were in lowe I guess.
I heard an uncle say behind me "lo ji...mujra shuru hogaya". I didn't know what a mujra was at the time so asked my mom. My mom didn't answer...ignored me and gave the uncle a mean look.
I felt bad for them and bad for him. Bad for them because someone decided to say something so horrible about them at their own wedding after eating their food. Bad for him because he wasn't able to take part in their celebration without being negative.
Its true that at the end of the day you should do what you want to do because it is your day and you get to make the rules.
But I do think there is something to be said for propriety. Just making sure to take into consideration the audience which consists of fairly conservative people at times.
I agree.
So being religious means you drop your culture (essentially dropping your identity imo) then doesn't that mean you should all learn Arabic, forget about Urdu and never attend such haram weddings?
Culture as well as religion is adaptable and because it is fluid, it changes over time. Yes, 20years ago you didn't have western concepts in your wedding but also 20years ago I bet you didn't know many gori/goras.
Some may find PDA acceptable, some may not but there are also some that find the middle ground is ok. In my opinion it is NOT religion who says kissing in unacceptable I think it is Asian culture. No matter where you go in Asia you won't see many people showing affection towards each other even in Japan its frowned upon and we're not religious at all.
I don't care if an another couple kiss at their wedding, I will not be perhaps some people will shun me for holding my SOs hand while we sit and greet etc but knowing that it will calm me down I refuse to think about what others think.
Just because I hug the other sex won't mean that I'll sleep with them in a heartbeat and I definitely won't be shaking my booty at them :) I think the only people who can do that are african americans and latinos.
Verdict from is that people who don't want to dance won't dance people who do will. Its a personal choice and one shouldn't try to intimidate a happy couple for wanting to dance.
I agree and this whole notion of if I hold my fiance's hand then OMG my cousin/friends/sister must be like that too is absurd.
Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number
*Kuch tou log kaheine geine
logon ka kaam hei kehna
choro bekaar ki baton ko
kaheen beet na jayeine reina.
*
^^
bilkul sahih
...... kuch loog doosron ko nacha ker khush hotay hain aur kuch loog khud naach ker... baat tou aik hi hai....loog aapnay baap bhai kay saath yeh saamnay naach/thumKa ker kay ussay luddi / bhangra ka naam day daytay hain aur dulha dulhan kay naach ko mujara aur behayaEe ka naam day daytay hain.......faraq sirf Lafaazee hai....
.... agar islaami tareeqay say shaadi kerni hai tou moqamal islaami tareeqay say karo....warna tanqeed mut karo... .