Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

[Sara516]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

**
and speaking of choreographed or not, what is the difference between planning it and being pulled on to the dance floor?**

-well when it's unplanned and people pull you onto it, it's spontaneous and to me, spontaneous = fun. choreographed is more....erm....too much work..lol. to me dancing should be about having fun...but that's just me..
**
either way you're dancing with your fiancé/husband and the rest of your family, aren't you? **
-Yes. well i have no moral obligation to dancing :p...like I said... spontaneous = fun. but then again I've never been part of a choreographed dance, so I may feel differently if I was.
it's just a personal preference I guess....I don't really like to watch, I'd rather participate.

[Muzna]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Aaj kal log shadiyon mein janay kahan kahan ki rasmein le atay hein...dood pilayi, joota churai, ungli pakarna, moon dikhai, salami dena, mayun baitna saat saat din tak, etc. In sari ajeeb si rasmon mein...ek aur sahi.

yeh rasmain aaj kal ki nahin hain......yeh sadiyon say chali a rahee hain.
haan, humaray culture ki shaadi main dulha dulhan saath dance karain, yeh aaj kal ki rasm zaroor hai.

I'm not sure if this is the case for all but choreographed seems to equate to "performance for viewers to enjoy" and spontaneous equates to "apni khushi say" or "from the heart".

We've had this discussion before, I'm certain of it, so I'll not get into it but I said to a bride to be last night that she has to decide if she wants the wedding to be a "bollywood film" that will be fun to watch on the video later on or if she wants it to be a memorable "experience".

[LucyMay]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

^I don't feel strongly for or against choreographed numbers, but in my friend's wedding, the practice sessions were the funnest part of the wedding. She got to know her in-laws really well and the whole "let your hair down" atmosphere meant there was no stress. Also a great platform for her parents to get to know his side of the family (and vice versa).

Oh and theirs was a love marriage, they knew each other for a couple of years, but the families had not had much interaction till then. I can understand however that couples who've not known each other for long may not be comfortable dancing at their wedding.

[Muzna]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

^ that makes sense......when both families are on the same wave-length and don't have differing opinions on the whole dancing thing.

I have to admit.....we guppies did a dandiyaan dance for another guppy's mehdni and the practices were so much fun!!! We definitely had a blast in the weeks leading up to the wedding.

[pinkblossom]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Well, I personally wouldn't do it nor would I encourage others to do i either. Not because i'm 'conservative' or anything but simply because, islamically it's not allowed. I will be starting a new life and I want it to be full of blessing and the blessing of Allah is the most important IMO.

Just my 2 cents :)

[Paheli00]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

I'm not sure if this is the case for all but choreographed seems to equate to "performance for viewers to enjoy" and spontaneous equates to "apni khushi say" or "from the heart".

But it can be both no? Couple can "from the heart" decide to do something for the "viewers to enjoy" b/c it makes them (ie. the couple) happy too?

[somegroovychick]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

yeh rasmain aaj kal ki nahin hain......yeh sadiyon say chali a rahee hain. haan, humaray culture ki shaadi main dulha dulhan saath dance karain, yeh aaj kal ki rasm zaroor hai.

I'm not sure if this is the case for all but choreographed seems to equate to "performance for viewers to enjoy" and spontaneous equates to "apni khushi say" or "from the heart".

We've had this discussion before, I'm certain of it, so I'll not get into it but I said to a bride to be last night that she has to decide if she wants the wedding to be a "bollywood film" that will be fun to watch on the video later on or if she wants it to be a memorable "experience".

hrm, i don't really agree with this. a performance doesn't equate bollywood automatically, and so long as you are surrounded by family and friends, your mehendi is going to memorable nonetheless. performances can be just as fun as a spontaneous dance, imho, or even more because the practices themselves can be a lot of fun and build anticipation and excitement for the event. and even if the couple want to put on a performance for their guests, why the objection? don't you want your guests to have a good time at your mehendi?

this conversation, to me, stems from people insisting on having every single person they've ever met at their wedding and so you would have a bunch of people you hardly know at your event and then probably its not as comfortable because there are lots of loose mouths and gossip. if couples could keep their guestlists down to only the people who care about them, then we probably wouldn't be having this discussion.

what about a luddi dance if performed by a group of people including the bride and groom and one that is rehearsed beforehand too?

as for nai rasmein, again, new doesn't automatically mean bad, does it?

ultimately, i don't think there is any "right" or "wrong" answer- just what you are comfortable with. weddings are highly personal events and we've all seen ones that we think are tacky or OTT, but someone else might think are classy and fabulous.

[Paheli00]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

in my friend's wedding, the practice sessions were the funnest part of the wedding. She got to know her in-laws really well and the whole "let your hair down" atmosphere meant there was no stress. Also a great platform for her parents to get to know his side of the family (and vice versa).

Oh and theirs was a love marriage, they knew each other for a couple of years, but the families had not had much interaction till then.

^ Great example Lucy! Yes, if the couple and the families are comfortable with this......the practice sessions can easily allow the 2 families to bond with each other and give them a head start on building a positive relationship for the future.

[Muzna]

Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number

@somegroovychick

hrm, i don’t really agree with this. a performance doesn’t equate bollywood automatically, and so long as you are surrounded by family and friends, your mehendi is going to memorable nonetheless. performances can be just as fun as a spontaneous dance, imho, or even more because the practices themselves can be a lot of fun and build anticipation and excitement for the event. and even if the couple want to put on a performance for their guests, why the objection? don’t you want your guests to have a good time at your mehendi?

I would certainly hope that all family and friends contribute nothing but good vibes at a wedding; unfortunately this is not always the case. Particularly when the two families getting together at a “love marriage” never saw eye to eye to begin with. So yeah…memorable is great…but it has to be for the right reasons na?

There are still families out there that believe dancing to “perform” in front of an audience is less than classy and best left to hired artists. I suppose it can be seen as an “elitist or snobby” attitude; it is what it is. The problem is that you put a family like this together with a family that wants every single moment of all the events to be orchestrated and you end up with a big fat mess.

@somegroovychick

this conversation, to me, stems from people insisting on having every single person they’ve ever met at their wedding and so you would have a bunch of people you hardly know at your event and then probably its not as comfortable because there are lots of loose mouths and gossip. if couples could keep their guestlists down to only the people who care about them, then we probably wouldn’t be having this discussion.

Absolutely!!!
If only…

@somegroovychick

but then do you also disagree with skits and other little fun things that people put on for the bride and groom at a mehendi? what about a luddi dance if performed by a group of people including the bride and groom and one that is rehearsed beforehand too?

No, not at all.
Skits, group dances by family and friends are all good.
Heck…drag the bride and groom into the mix spontaneously…even that is good.

@somegroovychick

as for nai rasmein, again, new doesn’t automatically mean bad, does it?

Nope.
There is nothing wrong with a new rasm.
I would have no objection as long as it is modest.
I’ve even witnessed a desi groom go for the garter on his desi wife of 2 hours…new rasm…and it sucked.

@somegroovychick

ultimately, i don’t think there is any “right” or “wrong” answer- just what you are comfortable with. weddings are highly personal events and we’ve all seen ones that we think are tacky or OTT, but someone else might think are classy and fabulous.

Agreed…there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to preferences; and the choices made are a reflection of your own taste.

[Just_Some_Girl]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Islamically all dancing is haram, there is not justifications. If you have people that dance at your wedding, if you dance yourself it is all haram. People are just trying to justify it these days but if you are Muslim it is haram, there is not grey area, this is the reality and we must not find ways to justify it. Now whether your family allows it or not that is just culturally driven and blending in with society, it is a weakness/sin many humans have unfortunately. But a true Islamic wedding any where in the world the bride should not be displayed on stage. The true nature of Islam does not have Hindu, Sikh, Christian traditions involved in its ceremonies or events.

[pinkblossom]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Islamically all dancing is haram, there is not justifications. If you have people that dance at your wedding, if you dance yourself it is all haram. People are just trying to justify it these days but if you are Muslim it is haram, there is not grey area, this is the reality and we must not find ways to justify it. Now whether your family allows it or not that is just culturally driven and blending in with society, it is a weakness/sin many humans have unfortunately. But a true Islamic wedding any where in the world the bride should not be displayed on stage. The true nature of Islam does not have Hindu, Sikh, Christian traditions involved in its ceremonies or events.

Exactly! Masha'Allah you have said it beautifully. There is no justifying haram tbh. All these things are done for your own pleasure, but in the process we must think, will it please our lord or earn his anger.
May Allah guide us all towards yhe right path.

[Paheli00]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Islamically all dancing is haram, there is not justifications. If you have people that dance at your wedding, if you dance yourself it is all haram. People are just trying to justify it these days but if you are Muslim it is haram, there is not grey area, this is the reality and we must not find ways to justify it. Now whether your family allows it or not that is just culturally driven and blending in with society, it is a weakness/sin many humans have unfortunately. But a true Islamic wedding any where in the world the bride should not be displayed on stage. The true nature of Islam does not have Hindu, Sikh, Christian traditions involved in its ceremonies or events.

Of course, I agree that in a wedding that's truly Islamic, there shouldn't be dancing in a mixed enviornment and the bride shouldn't be displayed. But this could also be said about almost every desi Muslim wedding we have. How many brides wear short sleeves and show their neck area? Almost all desi weddings have stages where the bride sits all dressed up for everyone (including men) to look at. Realistically, how many weddings are truly segregated between the genders?

I don't have an issue with people being completely against dancing b/c its UnIslamic. But what I find interesting is that the majority of the same people have no problem with many other aspects of a wedding that're also UnIslamic. The people that will make negative comments about a bride/groom dancing b/c its unIslamic......the same people won't say anything about the event being mixed, or the bride showing her hair/arms etc. (** btw, I'm not saying that you do this. Its just a general observation).

P.S. Maybe I missed it but I don't think anyone is saying or hinting that dancing is NOT haram in Islam.

[kakee]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

god why do you people care what other people do ~_~
dance or not, drink or not its their prerogative. your only requirement of being their is to celebrate their wedding not to judge how religious or un-religious they are

[Doppleganger]

Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number

Another IDEA !

Why don’t the bride & groom kiss when the mullah seals the deal “qabool hai” ?

[kakee]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

because kissing is not part of desi culture while dancing and music is. :)

[TLK]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Islamically all dancing is haram, there is not justifications. If you have people that dance at your wedding, if you dance yourself it is all haram. People are just trying to justify it these days but if you are Muslim it is haram, there is not grey area, this is the reality and we must not find ways to justify it. Now whether your family allows it or not that is just culturally driven and blending in with society, it is a weakness/sin many humans have unfortunately. But a true Islamic wedding any where in the world the bride should not be displayed on stage. The true nature of Islam does not have Hindu, Sikh, Christian traditions involved in its ceremonies or events.

But but but but but .. I want to display my love for my spouse by pretending to be saif ali khan. I want to create a fake environment to express my true feelings. I want to prove to the world that all those dulha dulhans who on their wedding day choose to quietly sit on stage, with dulhan in her ghooghat and dulha hiding his face behind roomal, are no where as happy as me and my butt wiggling spouse. And so what if we are making some people uncomfortable. Yeah oon ke shadi nahi hai, yeah meri shadi hai, main main aur srif main. Yes I am a bakri doing main main. kar lo jo kerna hai.

[somegroovychick]

Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number

^ oh, come on TLK
buss extremes hi apply kartay hain to every situation? life isn’t black and white, dude. you know that.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number

@Doppleganger

Another IDEA !

Why don’t the bride & groom kiss when the mullah seals the deal “qabool hai” ?

Um, who says that doesn’t happen at desi weddings.

[Muzna]

Re: Bride and Groom’s Own Dance Number

^ thank you…I’ve seen that too

[STA]

Re: Bride and Groom's Own Dance Number

Islamically all dancing is haram, there is not justifications. If you have people that dance at your wedding, if you dance yourself it is all haram. People are just trying to justify it these days but if you are Muslim it is haram, there is not grey area, this is the reality and we must not find ways to justify it. Now whether your family allows it or not that is just culturally driven and blending in with society, it is a weakness/sin many humans have unfortunately. But a true Islamic wedding any where in the world the bride should not be displayed on stage. The true nature of Islam does not have Hindu, Sikh, Christian traditions involved in its ceremonies or events.

Can you please tell me proper way of Islamic wedding? I want to know about it.